I was always a fat kid since I was old enough to sneak food. I could go into the craziness that was my childhood and how it changed my relationship with food but that is a whole other story. What I will say is that there was a major equilibrium shift at around the time I turned twenty and I decided, "why have a little change when you can have a lot"?
It was at this point that I experienced my first foray into fitness. I was nearly 300 pounds with a shiny new gym membership and a powerful drive to be wipe away the past. While I did do some research, this phase of my journey definitely suffered from "analysis until paralysis". It also did not help that basically every person I knew who had done competitive athletics in high school or college had developed some sort of chronic pain injury (including my brother who has to have periodic back surgeries to this day) so I was scared of the weight room. I proceeded to run, run a lot, every day and eat almost nothing. For a large portion of my weight loss I was running 4-6 miles five days a week and eating 800 calories. I even once went blind and fell over from low blood sugar in a Subway sandwich shop while waiting in line (they immediately started serving the guy behind me which is another story as well). Needless to say this was insanely unhealthy but also effective as I eventually got as low as 180 pounds.
Now, I guess came the "all is lost" moment. I had suffered every sacrifice a person can reasonably make and more. I had finally achieved what is considered an "ideal" weight for my height and when I looked in the mirror it was almost worse than before. When you are fat and you look in the mirror, rolls or a couple stretch marks look natural. On 180 pound guys, seeing moobs and a couple stretch marks reinforces that the 300 pound you will never go away no matter how much work you do. After all, I had seen my friends who were 180 pounds shirtless and they looked great.
Through my early 20s I maintained most of my weight loss and stabilized at around 220 after giving up on exercise. I had resigned myself to the ugly reality that my body would never conform to my standard of beauty because I had ruined it. That is until I once again went through a major life change with getting a new job and exiting an old relationship about two years ago.
For the second leg of my fitness journey I was determined to do it right. Internet resources had come a long way and I was going to hire a trainer. It took a while to really commit to (trainers are stupid expensive) but I eventually picked one and went into my first session with only one demand, no running. This naturally led me towards strength training and that wonderful half of the gym that I had so feared on my earlier adventure.
To my surprise, I loved it... at least some of it. What people say about trainers is true. 80 percent of what they have to teach can be learned in an hour with Google and the other 20 percent are anecdotes which lead you in all sorts of crazy directions. At one point my trainer had me lunging backwards off of the highest box with a barbell on my shoulders. It felt like I was tempting fate with every movement and I am sure I looked appropriately distressed to onlookers. The only real value is that it gave me those one time examples of doing major lifts correctly which made copying the process much easier.
As my knowledge grew it began to change my goals. If I am doomed to be big, then I will be a big of my choosing. I may not be able to get rid of what I have but I can sure as hell move it around.
This is when I make a sad confession. Through all of this I sort of became a *sigh* curl bro...
Well not that bad. I really enjoy squatting and wouldn't give it up for the world but my seemingly random distaste for certain standard exercises mixed with my lack of confidence when coming up with my own routines led to a frustratingly imbalanced routine. And so that brings me to present day and my current dilemma. I am on my lonesome (no trainer) and on a routine of my own design featuring exercises I enjoy.
Day 1 - chest/ triceps
Dips 8x4
Bench Press 5x5
Tricep Pushdown 8x4
Incline Bench 5x5
DB Chest Fly 8x4
Day 2 - back/bicep/shoulder
Deadlift 5x5
Low Rows 4x8
Front+Lateral Raises 8x4
DB Bicep Curls 8x5 (I know, I know... just gimme this one)
Shrugs
(I want to work in OHP even though it scares the crap out of me when I do it alone)
Day 3 - Legs
Squats 5x5
Full Machine Rotation (calf raises, leg extension and the like)
Day 4 - Rest
(not sure if this should be one or two days as I am still feeling it out)
This feels like a big step to me. A new beginning where I think I have a balanced routine and I actually enjoy myself the whole time I am at the gym. It is time to lose fat where I can and see what a balanced approach can do in the long run.
Earlier today I finished my first 3 day cycle and I feel like I have been hit by a truck but we all know that gets better as we adjust. As it stands I was 28 years old and 247 pounds at day 0. I have reduced my caloric intake to about 1800 per day with a 60/20/20 macro ratio. I will adjust this as my body fat drops but hope that by that time my currently underdeveloped muscle groups will have caught up.
If any of you have suggestions on how exercises can be shifted around or you know of any I may like based on this list then I'd love to hear. For now I'm off to bed.
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