EPT+ Show Spoiler +
BIBBIT approaches the attractive female CASHIER at a drugstore.
BIBBIT: Hey girl, I must be happy to see you because I have a banana in my pocket. And by banana I mean a b-
CASHIER: Jesus. Stop there. Please.
BIBBIT: Relax, I wasn’t going to say anything weird.
CASHIER: Sorry, it’s been a long day.
BIBBIT: I understand. “Boner” by the way. I was going to say “boner.”
The CASHIER sighs and glances at a security guard but doesn’t call him over yet.
CASHIER: What do you need today.
BIBBIT: I need to buy some [indistinguishable mumbling].
CASHIER: What was that?
BIBBIT: [indistinguishable mumbling].
CASHIER: I’m sorry, you have to speak up.
BIBBIT (loudly): Condoms! Shaft Shield. Son-Block. Whatever you want to call it. Just get off my dick.
Some other customers at the drugstore are now staring. The CASHIER is visibly embarrassed and holding her forehead in her hand.
BIBBIT: I’m sorry I snapped. It’s just an expression, I very much do want you on my -
CASHIER: Shut up! I don’t want to have to call security. I’ll get you the condoms and then you get out of here, no more words.
CASHIER starts to walk away from the counter.
BIBBIT: I don’t know why you’re so angry. The condoms are for you!
The CASHIER stops and walks back towards BIBBIT.
CASHIER (quietly, very seriously): What did you just say?
BIBBIT: Oh my gosh I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you. They’re for me, obviously. But, like, with you... Unless you have a -
The CASHIER slaps BIBBIT.
BIBBIT: Come on I didn’t say it was a problem. It’s fine, you can tell me.
The CASHIER motions the SECURITY GUARD over, he comes.
SECURITY GUARD: What’s going on over here?
BIBBIT: Nothing, sir. I just cordially invited our friend here to an evening of bowling.
CASHIER: That’s not what he said.
BIBBIT: Oh excuse me. Did I say bowling? Yeah, I definitely meant boning.
SECURITY GUARD: Okay that’s enough. Come with me.
BIBBIT: No, no. I didn’t mean with you. No offense though, and I’m really sorry for the misunderstanding.
The SECURITY GUARD is visibly upset but holds back a tear.
SECURITY GUARD: Whatever, just get out of here.
BIBBIT is escorted outside. He then walks to a nearby liquor store and approaches the LIQUOR STORE CASHIER, also an attractive female.
BIBBIT: Hey, I couldn’t score any next door. You look like a girl who is always prepared with condoms.
The LIQUOR STORE CASHIER looks at BIBBIT with disgust and walks into the back room. BIBBIT steals a bottle of Whiskey and leaves.
