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The Art of Picking Up

Blogs > sths
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
sths
Profile Blog Joined October 2012
Australia192 Posts
April 14 2013 09:15 GMT
#1
Ambitious title I know. Especially since the people that frequent TL are famous for their understanding of the fairer sex. Just look at all the girl blogs. It is known.

But today a friend told me of a man who's understanding of girls puts the collective knowledge of TL to shame. You might not have heard of him since he apparently lives in the land down under (Australia, for you americans, and no its not the same as Austria). Even though we share the same country, I'm not even 1/100 of the girl whisperer that he is. His ability to persuade with words is otherworldly. So without further ado;
[image loading]

Lets spare a few moments and analyze this masterpiece. Notice the chutzpah right out of the gate. He doesn't just try and pickup 1 girl. No. A real man does 3, at the same time. Think about how brilliant this psychological maneuver is. All 3 girls now know that if they don't have a "coffee catchup" with him, 2 other girls would jump at the chance.

[image loading]
You don't want to be the girl at the back with the beachball now do you.....

On to the actual letter.
Notice the humility.
Notice how he uses mystery to arouse the girl's curiosity. (WTF is a pocket square?)
Notice the way he subtly reveals his shiny academic history.

Now that the girls are all warmed up. He hits them with the big guns. He knows the "movers and shakers", but he is not an elitist, he is a man of the people. He knows everyone from grads to MD, from boutique to bulge bracket. He even knows the most revered suited cowboys.
The management consultants.
You know the ones that dual-wielding other people's money and other people's ideas.
Because we all know if you ever want "interesting insights into global markets", management consultant are the ones to speak to.
[image loading]
If Shady Sands was black

Now that the girls are all foaming at the loins, he moves in for the kill under the non threatening title Realisticlly. Thats right girls, Mr Lu is too classy for an orgy, so "large group catchups" are out of the question. But as I said, Mr Lu is a classy guy and he will take one of you out when you are "free solo" and "coffee/lunch" you.
Who knows, if you get really lucky Mr Lu might even let you "grab something better if times allows".


*
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
April 14 2013 10:27 GMT
#2
Just seems lazy, bizarre and obnoxious in the extreme. I can't tell what's more ridiculous, the use of subheadings or the fact he mailed it to all 3. Even if it 'worked', I would be surprised if he raised his chances over sending individual emails. And he increased his chance of coming across like an asshole 100%.
Markwerf
Profile Joined March 2010
Netherlands3728 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-14 11:01:06
April 14 2013 10:59 GMT
#3
Pff terrible email. Totally devoid of humor and the use of subtitles is rediculous, besides it aren't even all girls?
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
April 14 2013 11:23 GMT
#4
Dear Edward,

Realistically

Lol.

Cheers,

Carol
I think esports is pretty nice.
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
April 14 2013 11:59 GMT
#5
On April 14 2013 19:27 sc4k wrote:
Just seems lazy, bizarre and obnoxious in the extreme. I can't tell what's more ridiculous, the use of subheadings or the fact he mailed it to all 3. Even if it 'worked', I would be surprised if he raised his chances over sending individual emails. And he increased his chance of coming across like an asshole 100%.


Yeah.

That just seemed really weird.

On the other hand it might just work (based on the assumption he's good on dates or turning a seemingly platonic date into a sexual one)

I really don't know.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
April 14 2013 13:15 GMT
#6
I just don't even. What was this O.O?
User was warned for too many mimes.
Wohmfg
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United Kingdom1292 Posts
April 14 2013 13:26 GMT
#7
This email is so tryhard and unfunny.

He is qualifying himself so fucking hard, it comes across as pathetic.
BW4Life!
lannisport
Profile Joined February 2012
878 Posts
April 14 2013 13:30 GMT
#8
Pick up stuff is so icky and creepy.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
April 14 2013 13:56 GMT
#9
The hell did I just read... also why aren't the e-mail addresses blurred out? :/
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45365 Posts
April 14 2013 15:24 GMT
#10
This is a joke, right?

Also,

he apparently lives in the land down under (Australia, for you americans, and no its not the same as Austria)


Troll?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
RvB
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Netherlands6271 Posts
April 14 2013 17:19 GMT
#11
Karel is a girl? It's a mans name over here.
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6600 Posts
April 14 2013 17:26 GMT
#12
lol... wow. Just wow. I hope its a joke =/
LiquidDota Staff
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18856 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-14 17:30:56
April 14 2013 17:30 GMT
#13
I think the point of this is humor, but I do not think it is very funny. It just seems painfully odd.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
April 14 2013 17:54 GMT
#14
I don't even. I'm not sure if it would be worse if you were serious or trying to make fun of him.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
April 14 2013 18:07 GMT
#15
r.Evo and far a took the words right out of my mouth (from my fingertips?) I really don't know what to say...
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
Kaeru
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Sweden552 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-14 18:51:13
April 14 2013 18:50 GMT
#16
--- Nuked ---
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
April 14 2013 20:21 GMT
#17
lol wat?
Writer
IRL_Sinister
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Ireland621 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-14 22:34:51
April 14 2013 22:34 GMT
#18
You should probably remove the e-mail addresses.

EDIT: This blog sucks :<
GTR
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
51565 Posts
April 14 2013 22:44 GMT
#19
As Cartman says, lame.
Commentator
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
April 14 2013 22:47 GMT
#20
http://au.businessinsider.com/ernst-young-is-backing-a-graduate-whose-pocket-square-email-went-viral-2013-4

It's been circulating and I suppose the point of the blog was to make fun of him. That guy is in some deep shit though lol
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
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