EPTFirst, some Nick N' Susie:
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This one was made by dRaW :D
GOMtv <3 Tasteless <3 Lilsusie <3
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This one was made by dRaW :D
GOMtv <3 Tasteless <3 Lilsusie <3
SORRY, GOMTV TOO GOOD. Anyhow, I thought that would set the mood for this blog. Also, I lit some scented candles and sprinkled rose pedals everywhere. But sometimes, casters say stuff that just gets my goat. I don't mean Tasteless, Lilsusie, Artosis, or Day[9]. They can say whatever they want, including the stuff on this list. Everyone else, you're free to say whatever you want. It's a free country, unless you live in Belarus or something. Don't expect me to be happy about it, though.
"x is good" - Minerals are good. Gas is good. StarCraft is good. Mentioning that things are "good" during a cast is bad. I can't think of any other game commentary where anyone would say this. Imagine a counterstrike cast with "Bullets are good", or in baseball "Hitting the ball is pretty good", or in NASCAR "Turning left is pretty good".
"Decent split"/"That wasn't a good split" - Remember when you had to split your starting workers? It was a cherished skill that all the cool noobs could do and all the loner outcast noobs couldn't. Then we moved on to bigger and better things. It's time for you to do the same, my child.
"HUGE ENGAGEMENT INCOMING" - Like Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck? Come on, there are so many cool ways that people have come up with to explain that huge armies are about to slam into each other.
"Playguuu" - If you're not prepared to scream this at the top of your lungs, don't do it. Nobody wants to hear a timid, half-assed "playguu...?". You need to make sure your neighbors hear it.
"HUGE STASIS/STORM/PLAGUE/EMP/ANYTHING IN SC2" - Hey, not all spells are huge. Calm down. Sometimes, they just aren't even that impressive, even if a psi-storm kills like 8 hydralisks. If like 5 control groups die, then go ahead, jump out of your chair.
"Going down" - You have to sing the whole song if you say this
"He got a huge flank off" - This makes me visualize a raptor ripping the side of a steer off. Or perhaps "getting someone off".
Any harvester count check - IT'S 50 HARVESTERS TO 35 HARVESTERS, SO HUGE ECONOMIC LEAD. Having lots of stats to read off in real-time can be interesting at times, but it's not fun when everyone does it like 5 times per game.
"Imbalanced" - I'm literally going to claw my ears off if I hear this word again. Unless you're a fucking six-figure progamer, you can always improve YOURSELF to find a way to overcome some tricky or trendy thing that people do. Or you can be a total dildo and call stuff imbalanced.
"OP" - ugh. Worse than "imbalanced" or "imba". Worse than anything. If you use this in a cast, retire immediately, especially if you use "pretty OP". Then uninstall your StarCraft, smash your desktop, and sell your brain to science, because obviously you weren't using it.
"Metagame" - The game isn't made of metal, it's made of pixels okay?
Constantly Making Wrong Predictions - If you do this a lot, just stop. Why do you have to make yourself look dumb? It's embarrassing for you, it's painful for us.
"It's the Flash/Bisu/Jaedong build" - Hey, other people come up with builds, too...
"I don't think it's gonna be enough!" - Especially bad when it's enough. Enough said. Or was it?
Being Overcritical of a Player - I feel like it's okay to say that someone made a mistake when a mistake was made. But since StarCraft is such a difficult game, people make a lot of small mistakes all the time. Ragging on some poor player is just in really poor taste, especially if they're 100x better than you on your very best day.
Push - Agree with Chill. A push is a slow, methodical leap-frogging movement across the map. Speed zealots running is not a push. The worst thing anyone has ever said was "3-Hatch Mutalisk Push", I mean what the fuck, dude.
Using abbreviations irl - You can fucking say "fast expand". You don't need to say "eff-ee" out-loud, because that just sounds really obtuse. Typing out "forge fe" is fine because if you're typing, you might be in a game, and don't have the time to type out the full thing. Saying "bbs" is fine, though.
Also, here are some other things:
Not all long games are necessarily "epic" or "good". In fact, there's a lot of boring long games.
Not all micro is epic or good. Sometimes, people just micro and it's okay.
Sometimes, a player just cannot claw their way back into a game, even if "Flash got into their chair" or they "micro perfectly". Sometimes, the only way back into a game is for their opponent to suddenly die of heart failure. If their opponent is still alive, don't talk about their "gg timing". Okay, let me add that to the list.
GG timing - Technically, the condition for victory is to destroy all enemy buildings.
Also, nobody cares what you would do in a certain situation. "If I were him, I'd go for it right now." Well, no, you probably wouldn't, and even if you would, why would you say that? Get off your lazy butt and win some tournaments if you know what to do.
Just because someone had one bad game, or even two bad games, doesn't mean they've suddenly lost all their skill. "WHAT HAPPENED TO SO-AND-SO? HE WAS SO GOOD BEFORE." Well, maybe he has super-AIDS now and is struggling to recover, but still wants to play.
Never fucking reference "The Art of War" unless you're making a joke. Sun Tzu was stuck in the Bronze League.
Also, just remember to be yourself and have fun!
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