EPTComing back to something you used to feel good at is an exercise in itself. Even professionals are bound to go on breaks sometimes. It's inevitable. It could be for different reasons such as family issues, loss of a loved one or a slip in your motivation. However, if you're passionate about it you'll be back. And when you do come back, it's going to get ugly. My first step to coming back was pushing a button. I'm sure you know if which one i'm speaking. Be warned though, the text below may sound pathetic, discomforting and for some people, all too familiar.
In the break of saturday morning, I woke up and decided I was going to play a few games after breakfast. During breakfast I was going to watch streams and try to determine what builds I wanted to use. An hour later, I was done with breakfast and loaded up StarCraft II while I simultaneously shot a Facebook message to a friend of mine who also enjoys blogging. I told him about the thrills of writing yesterday's post and told myself, "I'll start playing when we're done messaging. Just cutting him off would be rude"
We finished talking and I closed Facebook. I opened StarCraft II once more and looked at the button. Seriously, I was looking at it. Then i told myself, "Should i do some studying before playing so i don't feel guilty?"
And that's what i did. An hour of studying later, I closed my books, looked at the clock and decided it was time for lunch. So I cooked, ate and of course, watched streams.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/t5W73D1.png)
Rotti, i know you're handsome but why do you have to stream in the middle of ladder anxiety?
Third time's a charm, right? I opened StarCraft II once more and started flipping through channels of famous professional teams, my old clan and looked up if my university had hosted a channel of their own yet. And that's when it hit me. For three hours, I had been coming up with a fraction of all the excuses I could have come up with to keep me from playing the game. I decided that I was nervous because I didn't know any build orders. In this moment, I was incredibly close to opening a Day[9] daily. Instead, I asked myself, "What three units do i want to use in every matchup?"
In PvT, I chose zealots with charge, colossus with range and immortals. For PvZ I favoured zealots with charge, oracles and archons. In PvP I decided to use blink stalkers, immortals and sentries.
Then I pushed the button. My heart was racing, my head didn't seem to comprehend what my fool of a hand just did and my fingers felt cold as ice. Then the search was over and the game began. In that moment, it felt as if a tidal wave of relaxation washed over my mind and every negative thought I'd just had seemed to dissipate. I was back in my zone and I was enjoying every moment of it.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2konTzG.png)
Build order? All i want to do today is zap hydras.
As soon as one game ended, another began. I didn't care about build orders, I didn't care about the humiliation of getting rushed by Dark Templars and i laughed heartily when my opponents didn't gg. As long as I was using the units I'd set out to use then the outcome of the game didn't matter.
And two hours later, I closed the game with a smile on my face and started packing my duffel bag. My mind was happily analyzing games in the back of my mind and I knew that somewhere in my head the process of improvement had begun once more. Before I knew it, I had grabbed the car keys, backed out of the driveway and while doing 50mph on the freeway I was singing Phil Collins.
1. My Mental Six Pack
2. My Mental Six Pack - The First Challenge
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