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What starts as tragedy and ends as farce?
A little more than two years ago, I got to know this girl we'll call Susan. I was just off a nasty breakup with "Sylvia" (yes, the same Sylvia who I dated through Beijing Blues), and Susan was trying to use me for networking so she could get a job that would let her stay in America after graduating from her masters' program. We went out on a few dates but things went south fast once she started talking about marriage as a plan B if she couldn't find a job and her visa ran out. This came as a surprise to me, because I didn't even consider her my girlfriend at the time.
Anyhow, before things went totally pear-shaped, we went on a double date with her friend we'll call Tara and some Korean guy. Susan's introduction for the double date? She said that line all insecure girlfriends will eventually say:
"Come check out my really hot friend! I'm sure you'll think she's prettier than me."
Tara had just broken up with this guy we'll call Vincent. Vincent doesn't really figure into this story except as a backdrop for why Tara was such an emotional wreck and why she was going on one-week stints with random dudes from her masters' seminars. (Hint: he was an emotionally manipulative, selfish flake. I can empathize).
The four of us were sitting in Bandera, this quasi-Latin place on Michigan Avenue, when Tara and Susan went off to the bathroom and Korean Guy and me start talking. I mention that I've been seeing Susan casually, and he nods, smiles, says that he hopes things between him and Tara will progress to that point. He went on to deliver the subtle line of brag that all Asian guys will say at one point or another:
"So, yeah, she was kinda sad and then she ended up in my room, and then she left in the morning and was a lot happier."
I laughed, pretended to nod along. Tara and Susan came back, we got on our respective cabs, and I broke up with Susan before the cab ride ended.
Fast forward three months. Tara got an off-and-on boyfriend named Frank. When things were off between Tara and Frank, I would call Tara out to have her play wingman (or wing-woman) so she felt loved. I had a long-d girlfriend at that point, but things were pretty strained since I had just quit a very good job to do my crazy dream of a startup.
Things went on like this for another four months. A new school year started and Tara hit year two of her masters program, and started settling down with Frank for good. Sometime around then, I broke up with my long-d girlfriend, and Tara came over to comfort me. We got drunk, but nothing happened.
Frank, however, didn't take this very well. Frank and Tara, you see, were both mutually jealous and mutually flaky--a terrible composition, as inherently unstable as a mix of nitric acid and glycerin. I didn't know it, but sometime around then Frank, through some fucked-up emotional logic of his, started rawdogging it. (To patch things up? Demonstrate commitment? Fuck if I know.)
Anyhow, two weeks later, Tara told me she had broken up with Frank, this time for the last time. Then she told me (as opposed to asking me like normal people) she was going to come over to my place for dinner. She was kinda cute and I was single, so I didn't really care. She decided to surprise me by showing up with a friend we'll call Tiramisu Girl.
Tiramisu Girl was one of those rare Asian girls that was stacked, slim and had a pretty face. Put bluntly, she was gorgeous. I quickly realized this was Tara's version of Susan's test--which was amusing because Tara was pretty cute in her own way too (slim, long-haired elfin lass, she was). So we spent the evening munching on things and getting progressively more wasted. Then I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, Tara was gone.
TG explained, standing in my living room, that Tara and her had flipped a coin to determine which one of them was going to be sleeping with me that night. TG won the coin toss and I dodged a bullet.
The reason I call TG Tiramisu Girl is because every time I would see her afterwards (or at least until she started dating her white next-door neighbor with a seven-year-old because he could give her a green card) she would make me Tiramisu.
Anyhow, things were going pretty good between TG and I. One day I heard from her that Tara and Frank were getting back together. I immediately wagered fifty bucks that those two would be breaking up by the new year. TG then dropped a bombshell:
"They're dating each other because Tara is pregnant. And given how far along she is, you're damn lucky I won that coin toss."
I nearly choked on the espresso powder and mascarpone cheese.
Things were always a little different between me and TG after that. I think it was because she realized how much of a commitment-phobe I was, so she started seeing her neighbor shortly thereafter.
Anyhow, Tara and Frank lasted past the new year and got married. Tara's pregnancy was pretty obvious by that point... and also, by that point, TG and I had regressed to being simple friends with an occasional drunk hook-up whenever her neighbor was out of town. TG tried to collect on her bet, so I doubled down.
"They're going to get divorced within three months of the kid being born."
Two months later, I figured (based on my limited knowledge of biology) that it was about time and I sent Tara a congrats email. She sent me back a single line:
"I've been in Shenzhen for the past three weeks."
Apparently the issue was the financial disparity between Frank's family (Frank was a scholarship kid) versus Tara's family (rich and very cultured). Tara would later tell me sad stories about how Frank put on the most threadbare of wedding ceremonies and how Frank was a cheap bastard who wouldn't even chip in on the down payment for their condo and how Frank's very traditional Chinese family said something like "Tara now belongs to us and should serve us", and I would nod along on Skype while doing Excel work. Frank wrote a twenty-thousand word blog post about how Tara was a terrible wife and how Tara's family was a bunch of snobbish assholes.
Neither of them talked much about their daughter, which Tara left in Chicago less than two weeks after birth. Frank ended up having custody of her. To his credit, he does post a lot of baby pictures on his Weibo and Facebook--pictures which Tara's ex, Vincent, often ends up liking/thumbs-upping in lieu of Tara (who is still not on speaking terms with Frank).
TG still hasn't paid up on the bet. Instead, she invited me to her upcoming wedding. I'm not sure if I should go.
I never heard from Susan again.
  
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What's the lesson here? Be careful whom you date? Keep ladyfingers, coffee powder, mascarpone, and cocoa lying around just in case a girl turns out to be a great pastry maker? Keep coins away from girls who want to get in your pants unless you want to be the first(?) asian guy on the Maury show?
Also, "The reason I call TG Tiramisu Girl is because": it's "the reason is that", not "is because"; just a random comment.
Interesting stuff. I enjoy your short short stories.
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On February 18 2013 12:33 Shady Sands wrote:To his credit, he does post a lot of baby pictures on his Weibo and Facebook--pictures which Tara's ex, Vincent, often ends up liking/thumbs-upping in lieu of Tara (who is still not on speaking terms with Frank).
somehow i found that very funny hahaha
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On February 18 2013 13:05 Aerisky wrote:
What's the lesson here? Be careful whom you date? Keep ladyfingers, coffee powder, mascarpone, and cocoa lying around just in case a girl turns out to be a great pastry maker? Keep coins away from girls who want to get in your pants unless you want to be the first(?) asian guy on the Maury show?
Also, "The reason I call TG Tiramisu Girl is because": it's "the reason is that", not "is because"; just a random comment.
Interesting stuff. I enjoy your short short stories.
The lesson here is that many women want to sleep with Shady Sands 5/5
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On February 18 2013 13:17 Rainmaker5 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 13:05 Aerisky wrote:
What's the lesson here? Be careful whom you date? Keep ladyfingers, coffee powder, mascarpone, and cocoa lying around just in case a girl turns out to be a great pastry maker? Keep coins away from girls who want to get in your pants unless you want to be the first(?) asian guy on the Maury show?
Also, "The reason I call TG Tiramisu Girl is because": it's "the reason is that", not "is because"; just a random comment.
Interesting stuff. I enjoy your short short stories. The lesson here is that many women want to sleep with Shady Sands 5/5
hahaha and he's the one talking about some "subtle line of brag" earlier
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How is it a brag? These are China girls and if I'm remembering correctly Shady is an American-born Chinese with good career prospects. He might as well be Hugh Hefner to any mainland girl with a brain. It's really not hard to clinch it with those credentials, no matter how hot the mainland girl is.
I 5/5ed. Funny story. And TG gets extra points for making tiramisu with ladyfingers and mascarpone. That's the way it should be done. Not that cake flour, whipped cream disgusting shit I see sometimes. If she uses sweet marsala too, I'd def have kept her around!
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you should at least credit the worst break up thread for inspiration :p
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On February 18 2013 14:16 SamsungStar wrote:
How is it a brag? These are China girls and if I'm remembering correctly Shady is an American-born Chinese with good career prospects. He might as well be Hugh Hefner to any mainland girl with a brain. It's really not hard to clinch it with those credentials, no matter how hot the mainland girl is.
I 5/5ed. Funny story. And TG gets extra points for making tiramisu with ladyfingers and mascarpone. That's the way it should be done. Not that cake flour, whipped cream disgusting shit I see sometimes. If she uses sweet marsala too, I'd def have kept her around!
How is it not a brag? If you tell it to anyone on the street, they wouldn't care about the circumstances of the gfs, just that he's had a lot of gfs. It's like the white guy who goes to Korea, gets a hot Korean girl, and posts pics about her all the time. People who don't really know the context will be impressed ("omg you have a hot girl!"), while those who do won't be, and he doesn't really explain the circumstances anyways ("mainland girls are way easier if you're American and have a good education with decent job prospects, bonus points if you're not ugly").
Though it's kind of funny in a way. Shady's philosophy about women is colored by the fact that he seems to predominantly date mainland girls, and then he sounds sad and cynical about it half the time when it seems they're in it for the dough. Of course they will seem that way; they grew up in a materialistic, Confucius culture where marrying a rich, decent-looking guy is the ideal path for a girl. If you don't want a gf who seems to only care about you for your money/career, then don't date mainland girls, who will in all likelihood be more materialistic. I mean, yeah, there are exceptions (see: ones who have spent so much time outside the mainland that they're pretty much Asian-American in thought anyways and/or some of the queer ones), but it's common sense, really. >_>
I had this talk a few weeks ago with one of my mainland-born female friends who just got naturalized last year, and she says she doesn't date mainland guys, not because she's not attracted to Asians (she's had Asian-American bfs before and has a huge crush on this Asian-American girl), but because she doesn't like their personalities, since they're often more materialistic, conservative, and career-focused than she likes.
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I always forget how large the culture gap is. I mean I've dated Indian and Asian girls, made friends with and dormed with Asian guys but damn it still shocks me. It feels I'm reading fiction... Oh well, thanks for the story, good as always. I really enjoy your narrative style
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This blog somehow depresses me.
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On February 18 2013 17:14 WaveofShadow wrote:
This blog somehow depresses me.
Every time I read a Shady Sandy blog, I feel depressed.
Maybe he's inured to the pettiness, but I would be foaming-at-the-mouth mad after all he's been through.
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On February 18 2013 17:32 Ooshmagoosh wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 17:14 WaveofShadow wrote:
This blog somehow depresses me. Every time I read a Shady Sandy blog, I feel depressed. Maybe he's inured to the pettiness, but I would be foaming-at-the-mouth mad after all he's been through.
Why? It comes with the territory
You want someone that looks like this?
![[image loading]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c0/Lin_Chi-Ling_%28cropped%29.jpg/585px-Lin_Chi-Ling_%28cropped%29.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://news.ehomeday.com/eWebEditor/uploadfile/2010121163133284.JPG)
Pony up... unless you can somehow make her fall in love with you when she looks like this
![[image loading]](http://1823.img.pp.sohu.com.cn/images/blog/2011/2/20/18/17/e11473366_12efb32f9fbg215.jpg)
Unfortunately (or fortunately) Asian societies (especially China) tend to be very simple in this regard. Some people even go as far as to say this is why China is such a maniacally economics-focused and selfish society--all the guys are too busy fattening up their wallets to get laid to really give a fuck about anything else.
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On February 18 2013 13:05 Aerisky wrote:
What's the lesson here? Be careful whom you date? Keep ladyfingers, coffee powder, mascarpone, and cocoa lying around just in case a girl turns out to be a great pastry maker? Keep coins away from girls who want to get in your pants unless you want to be the first(?) asian guy on the Maury show?
Also, "The reason I call TG Tiramisu Girl is because": it's "the reason is that", not "is because"; just a random comment.
Interesting stuff. I enjoy your short short stories.
The lesson? Love begins as a tragedy, and ends as a farce. Or maybe it's the other way around. Or maybe I'm just bitter because V-day was a waste of time and I found out the latest girl was just a crazy gold-digger who visited my LinkedIn profile before she responded to my "how was your week do you wanna go on a date" email and asked me, before setting foot in my bedroom, if my apartment was "用现金买的" (paid for in full with cash).
I should just start dating white girls, so much less of a headache
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On February 18 2013 18:37 Shady Sands wrote:I should just start dating white girls, so much less of a headache
Hahahahahaha... no.
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I suppose, but when there's lesson and it's a cautionary tale, usually a normative rather than positive is involved.
Hope you're doing alright. It's definitely tougher depending on your field/environment to find a girl who will be true and open to you after you're out of college and everything, as people are less native/innocent, and more wealth/position-focused after.
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On February 18 2013 19:31 Aerisky wrote:
I suppose, but when there's lesson and it's a cautionary tale, usually a normative rather than positive is involved.
Hope you're doing alright. It's definitely tougher depending on your field/environment to find a girl who will be true and open to you after you're out of college and everything, as people are less native/innocent, and more wealth/position-focused after.
It's not even like the non-mainstream girls are any less cray-cray
I mean, I remember a conversation I had with a one-night stand in bed once
This was all in mandarin
"I think the simplest way for me to live as a girl is to fuck a bunch of guys and make it so none of them knows whether the resulting kid is theirs"
"why"
"Then I can let my kid be supported by a bunch of uncles as opposed to one father, it's less risky for me that way"
Cue a quick check under the sheets to make sure that I was, indeed, protected
And this girl was a Qinghua undergrad too, what the fuck man
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All Asian girls want is any white guy with semen. Debating whether FoBs or ABCs want white guys more has merit!
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On February 18 2013 21:53 Burrfoot wrote:
All Asian girls want is any white guy with semen. Debating whether FoBs or ABCs want white guys more has merit!
Maybe 10 years ago
Things have changed now, believe me
It's all about the money
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Us Asian guys have no chance against white guys. Especially if we're talking Ailee quality females.
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On February 18 2013 23:21 Ciryandor wrote:
Us Asian guys have no chance against white guys. Especially if we're talking Ailee quality females.
Nah, it's not that ridic.
Past a certain age girls will be looking for the man who's emotionally stable and can function as a provider. The color of your skin stops mattering as much as the color of the bills in your wallet.
But it's not just as simple as that. You gotta be subtle. You can't just throw around your salary in their face, obviously--that's the equivalent of a girl who just straight flashes their boobs in a your face--you wouldn't like that very much, in fact, you'd probably be annoyed (unless you were plastered).
I've gotten more play talking about taking care of my neighbor's dog than about how awesome it is to be juggling a two quasi-startups with a full-time job. Girls like a guy who can do stuff--and that has no basis in race or creed. If anything, being Asian is a plus, since it automatically puts you in the 'smart and capable' category. Being practical is the easiest way to get laid, by far.
The sad thing is, it seems once things get heavy, some girls show their gold-digging stripes wayyyy to early for things to make sense.
I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start?
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The fuck? Us asian guys have no chance vs white guys? LOL. I have never had any trouble getting a girl due to being Chinese. In fact, the majority of them have tried to use it as a way to connect with me, ie wearing chopsticks in their hair, saying something retarded about Chinese people to get a reaction out of me, trying to talk about pandas etc. This is all from white/latino girls. The Asian girls just try to say something chummy about being Asian and how us Asians gotta stick together etc.
The only places I ever encountered problems was when they brought me home to their parents. THAT was where racism played a role, but generally in my favor, because daughters love to see their daddies squirm. Well, at least the ones I was around. This was in the South, so racism was alive and well.
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I feel like some of the stacked parts when you describe these girls needs to be put in perspective. I'm not saying that to be a pervert, but I live in a town that has a real dearth of an asian population compared to latino, black, and of course white; when I think of stacked it normally is like high D-DD cup or a really big ass, like the sit on your face and suffocate you with room to spare kind (I'm not trying to be racist, but it's just the stereotypes I've been shown since I was a little kid).
On a less immature note, why is it that it seems like asian girls in your blogs seem to prefer white guys over asian guys in the end?
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On February 18 2013 23:41 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 23:21 Ciryandor wrote:
Us Asian guys have no chance against white guys. Especially if we're talking Ailee quality females. Nah, it's not that ridic. Past a certain age girls will be looking for the man who's emotionally stable and can function as a provider. The color of your skin stops mattering as much as the color of the bills in your wallet. But it's not just as simple as that. You gotta be subtle. You can't just throw around your salary in their face, obviously--that's the equivalent of a girl who just straight flashes their boobs in a your face--you wouldn't like that very much, in fact, you'd probably be annoyed (unless you were plastered). I've gotten more play talking about taking care of my neighbor's dog than about how awesome it is to be juggling a two quasi-startups with a full-time job. Girls like a guy who can do stuff--and that has no basis in race or creed. If anything, being Asian is a plus, since it automatically puts you in the 'smart and capable' category. Being practical is the easiest way to get laid, by far. The sad thing is, it seems once things get heavy, some girls show their gold-digging stripes wayyyy to early for things to make sense. I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start?
Honestly, Shady, I think you're looking in the wrong places. Especially considering it's Mainland Chinese girls we're talking about here. Think about it. Mainland Chinese girls who come from good backgrounds, are intelligent, and have good educations want the same thing all Chinese want. To get rich. But they're smart, well-bred, and pretty, so they know the easiest way to get rich is to marry into it and they can do that with ease. Why would they waste time with anything else?
From my experience, and from what I've seen in the experiences of numerous rich Chinese men is that marrying a girl from a good family with good education is mostly for political or image purposes. She looks good on paper or she brings you her family's connections. Beyond that, she's useless. Now, aside from the trophy political wife there are two main categories of wives for rich Chinese men: the high school sweetheart and the working girl.
Probably less common now, but most of the old rich Chinese guys I know who got married early on got married to their high school sweetheart. To that woman, her husband was her first, her last, her everything. Slavishly devoted, sometimes even good at business, and lives to support her man. She's probably a lot less common to find in this generation, and most of the time she's a naive, ditzy bimbo because she's never seen much of the world, but that comes with the slavishly devoted I guess.
The other kind of wife, and the kind I think you might want to consider, is the working girl. As in, the girls who work the KTVs, night clubs, bars, streetwalkers. Why do I say this? Because these girls are the real hustlers of Mainland China. They don't come from a great family. They don't have some fancy diploma to brag about. They've seen the seedy underbelly of humanity so they're savvy. They're social chameleons and expert charmers. It just comes with the territory for them. Yet they can be quite attractive. And they know money doesn't grow on trees. They appreciate that shit because they know how hard it is to get, even on their backs.
Every one of my "uncles" who didn't go the high school sweetheart route has a few working girl wives in various Chinese cities who take care of them when they're there, maintain their house, and manage their businesses. When I ask my uncles about it, all of them say their working girl wives are by far the best and have made them way more money than they could have made on their own. Most of these uncles are Taiwanese guys so they have difficulty penetrating local markets and establishing contacts, but when they hook up with a working girl who's local it opens all kinds of doors. And she FIGHTS for the opportunity to do so. She values that shit so much. Because economic opportunity is the one thing she can't get.
So yeah, I think you're looking in the wrong places when it comes to China girls. Take everything Americans believe about women and turn it upside down, and you'd probably have a much better time when it comes to Mainlanders. In China, the whores are honorable and the college grads are criminal.
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I think my problem was that I was around engineering chicks... Who typically annoy the fuck out of me regardless of race. According to Wikipedia white men are 3 times more likely to marry an asian than a black. And Wikipedia is always right! Asian men are 24 more times more likely to marry white instead of black, correctly concluding that asian males are exceptionally good at math and being racist!
So being a racist asian male my wife is white and non-engineering and her parents thought I was Mexican at first. Our kids will look Mexican so I guess they are right.
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On February 18 2013 23:41 Shady Sands wrote:
I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start?
How many men even give a shit about this part? The only ones I know aren't even in the bussiness-man, tons of cash group. They're educated and enjoy their work - I guess that's what they have in common, they all love what they do and would chip in overtime just for the passion/deadline. And oh, all of them will slap the managers silly when it comes to setting the deadlines.
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On February 19 2013 00:14 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 23:41 Shady Sands wrote:On February 18 2013 23:21 Ciryandor wrote:
Us Asian guys have no chance against white guys. Especially if we're talking Ailee quality females. Nah, it's not that ridic. Past a certain age girls will be looking for the man who's emotionally stable and can function as a provider. The color of your skin stops mattering as much as the color of the bills in your wallet. But it's not just as simple as that. You gotta be subtle. You can't just throw around your salary in their face, obviously--that's the equivalent of a girl who just straight flashes their boobs in a your face--you wouldn't like that very much, in fact, you'd probably be annoyed (unless you were plastered). I've gotten more play talking about taking care of my neighbor's dog than about how awesome it is to be juggling a two quasi-startups with a full-time job. Girls like a guy who can do stuff--and that has no basis in race or creed. If anything, being Asian is a plus, since it automatically puts you in the 'smart and capable' category. Being practical is the easiest way to get laid, by far. The sad thing is, it seems once things get heavy, some girls show their gold-digging stripes wayyyy to early for things to make sense. I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start? Honestly, Shady, I think you're looking in the wrong places. Especially considering it's Mainland Chinese girls we're talking about here. Think about it. Mainland Chinese girls who come from good backgrounds, are intelligent, and have good educations want the same thing all Chinese want. To get rich. But they're smart, well-bred, and pretty, so they know the easiest way to get rich is to marry into it and they can do that with ease. Why would they waste time with anything else? From my experience, and from what I've seen in the experiences of numerous rich Chinese men is that marrying a girl from a good family with good education is mostly for political or image purposes. She looks good on paper or she brings you her family's connections. Beyond that, she's useless. Now, aside from the trophy political wife there are two main categories of wives for rich Chinese men: the high school sweetheart and the working girl. Probably less common now, but most of the old rich Chinese guys I know who got married early on got married to their high school sweetheart. To that woman, her husband was her first, her last, her everything. Slavishly devoted, sometimes even good at business, and lives to support her man. She's probably a lot less common to find in this generation, and most of the time she's a naive, ditzy bimbo because she's never seen much of the world, but that comes with the slavishly devoted I guess. The other kind of wife, and the kind I think you might want to consider, is the working girl. As in, the girls who work the KTVs, night clubs, bars, streetwalkers. Why do I say this? Because these girls are the real hustlers of Mainland China. They don't come from a great family. They don't have some fancy diploma to brag about. They've seen the seedy underbelly of humanity so they're savvy. They're social chameleons and expert charmers. It just comes with the territory for them. Yet they can be quite attractive. And they know money doesn't grow on trees. They appreciate that shit because they know how hard it is to get, even on their backs. Every one of my "uncles" who didn't go the high school sweetheart route has a few working girl wives in various Chinese cities who take care of them when they're there, maintain their house, and manage their businesses. When I ask my uncles about it, all of them say their working girl wives are by far the best and have made them way more money than they could have made on their own. Most of these uncles are Taiwanese guys so they have difficulty penetrating local markets and establishing contacts, but when they hook up with a working girl who's local it opens all kinds of doors. And she FIGHTS for the opportunity to do so. She values that shit so much. Because economic opportunity is the one thing she can't get. So yeah, I think you're looking in the wrong places when it comes to China girls. Take everything Americans believe about women and turn it upside down, and you'd probably have a much better time when it comes to Mainlanders. In China, the whores are honorable and the college grads are criminal.
Sigh... I feel like a hopeless romantic Northerner next to this hard-nosed Taiwanese/Fujianese advice I'm hearing
You're kind of right, but I think that mainland girls *are* changing to an extent. I think a lot of them are getting more... aspirational? At least I hope. I still like Chinese girls a lot, I like their sense of determination and pluck... but sometimes their sheer materialism is a huge turn-off.
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All I know is that this story gets bonus points for referencing "Michigan Avenue."
I'm sure the gold diggers prefer North Avenue though.
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On February 18 2013 18:37 Shady Sands wrote:
foot in my bedroom, if my apartment was "用现金买的" (paid for in full with cash).
On February 18 2013 21:11 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 19:31 Aerisky wrote:
I suppose, but when there's lesson and it's a cautionary tale, usually a normative rather than positive is involved.
Hope you're doing alright. It's definitely tougher depending on your field/environment to find a girl who will be true and open to you after you're out of college and everything, as people are less native/innocent, and more wealth/position-focused after. It's not even like the non-mainstream girls are any less cray-cray I mean, I remember a conversation I had with a one-night stand in bed once This was all in mandarin "I think the simplest way for me to live as a girl is to fuck a bunch of guys and make it so none of them knows whether the resulting kid is theirs" "why" "Then I can let my kid be supported by a bunch of uncles as opposed to one father, it's less risky for me that way" Cue a quick check under the sheets to make sure that I was, indeed, protected And this girl was a Qinghua undergrad too, what the fuck man
................hahhahahaha what the fuck man.
I seriously find that hard to believe. Are you sure you didn't exaggerate any point in there?
On February 18 2013 14:16 SamsungStar wrote:
How is it a brag? These are China girls and if I'm remembering correctly Shady is an American-born Chinese with good career prospects. He might as well be Hugh Hefner to any mainland girl with a brain. It's really not hard to clinch it with those credentials, no matter how hot the mainland girl is.
I 5/5ed. Funny story. And TG gets extra points for making tiramisu with ladyfingers and mascarpone. That's the way it should be done. Not that cake flour, whipped cream disgusting shit I see sometimes. If she uses sweet marsala too, I'd def have kept her around!
I was teasing him and it wasn't said in a bitter tone :D
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On February 19 2013 02:22 Shady Sands wrote:
but sometimes their sheer materialism is a huge turn-off.
isn't it tragic?
so many amazingly cute asian girls dressed up in so much tacky
too bad money can't buy you any class t.t
but really
it's sam who loses out in the end 
On February 18 2013 12:33 Shady Sands wrote:
What starts as tragedy and ends as farce?
FIRST as tragedy, THEN as farce
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On February 19 2013 00:26 Burrfoot wrote:
I think my problem was that I was around engineering chicks... Who typically annoy the fuck out of me regardless of race. According to Wikipedia white men are 3 times more likely to marry an asian than a black. And Wikipedia is always right! Asian men are 24 more times more likely to marry white instead of black, correctly concluding that asian males are exceptionally good at math and being racist!
So being a racist asian male my wife is white and non-engineering and her parents thought I was Mexican at first. Our kids will look Mexican so I guess they are right.
Half-Asians generally look really nice. Your kids will come out fine don't worry abt it
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I love the fact that this thread has now become the asian(chinese) girls bitching therapy session hosted by shady and samsung .
I love samsung's quote about whore honour vs college gold diggers.
As for why is it so hard to find a Chinese girl who has dreams and aspirations that are not just about accumulating material goods/social status and is independent........ thats not a serious questions right??
Lets see;
1.one child policy (princess syndrome)
2. parents who think that "raising children" means throwing money at them whilst they themselves are afk cuz they have to make more money
3. the way asians(chinese) talk about shit in everyday life. its all about the face/material goods, quantifiable symbols of success etc. If you talk about the important yet intangible things in life, you just get a confused WTF look and get called naive
4. complete and utter disdain for poor/unfortunate people
5. one of the main reasons chinese kids go abroad is to get away from their parents. They get money sent to them so they can just party and play all day. but they realize that one day this is going to end so better latch onto another "daddy", cuz otherwise they'll have to get a real job. + Show Spoiler +
Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p
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On February 19 2013 08:38 Shady Sands wrote:
Half-Asians generally look really nice.
Afro-asian kids look the coolest tho!
On February 19 2013 09:26 sths wrote:Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p
My cousins in Taiwan moved to Australia to dodge the draft, so therefore they are harder to find since they are hiding. 100% true and accurate fact(s)!
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On February 19 2013 09:30 Burrfoot wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 08:38 Shady Sands wrote:
Half-Asians generally look really nice. Afro-asian kids look the coolest tho!
Yep and they're also pretty good at golf
Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 09:26 sths wrote:Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p My cousins in Taiwan moved to Australia to dodge the draft, so therefore they are harder to find since they are hiding. 100% true and accurate fact(s)!
looool. Taiwan still has a draft? Why?
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On February 19 2013 02:22 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 00:14 SamsungStar wrote:On February 18 2013 23:41 Shady Sands wrote:On February 18 2013 23:21 Ciryandor wrote:
Us Asian guys have no chance against white guys. Especially if we're talking Ailee quality females. Nah, it's not that ridic. Past a certain age girls will be looking for the man who's emotionally stable and can function as a provider. The color of your skin stops mattering as much as the color of the bills in your wallet. But it's not just as simple as that. You gotta be subtle. You can't just throw around your salary in their face, obviously--that's the equivalent of a girl who just straight flashes their boobs in a your face--you wouldn't like that very much, in fact, you'd probably be annoyed (unless you were plastered). I've gotten more play talking about taking care of my neighbor's dog than about how awesome it is to be juggling a two quasi-startups with a full-time job. Girls like a guy who can do stuff--and that has no basis in race or creed. If anything, being Asian is a plus, since it automatically puts you in the 'smart and capable' category. Being practical is the easiest way to get laid, by far. The sad thing is, it seems once things get heavy, some girls show their gold-digging stripes wayyyy to early for things to make sense. I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start? Honestly, Shady, I think you're looking in the wrong places. Especially considering it's Mainland Chinese girls we're talking about here. Think about it. Mainland Chinese girls who come from good backgrounds, are intelligent, and have good educations want the same thing all Chinese want. To get rich. But they're smart, well-bred, and pretty, so they know the easiest way to get rich is to marry into it and they can do that with ease. Why would they waste time with anything else? From my experience, and from what I've seen in the experiences of numerous rich Chinese men is that marrying a girl from a good family with good education is mostly for political or image purposes. She looks good on paper or she brings you her family's connections. Beyond that, she's useless. Now, aside from the trophy political wife there are two main categories of wives for rich Chinese men: the high school sweetheart and the working girl. Probably less common now, but most of the old rich Chinese guys I know who got married early on got married to their high school sweetheart. To that woman, her husband was her first, her last, her everything. Slavishly devoted, sometimes even good at business, and lives to support her man. She's probably a lot less common to find in this generation, and most of the time she's a naive, ditzy bimbo because she's never seen much of the world, but that comes with the slavishly devoted I guess. The other kind of wife, and the kind I think you might want to consider, is the working girl. As in, the girls who work the KTVs, night clubs, bars, streetwalkers. Why do I say this? Because these girls are the real hustlers of Mainland China. They don't come from a great family. They don't have some fancy diploma to brag about. They've seen the seedy underbelly of humanity so they're savvy. They're social chameleons and expert charmers. It just comes with the territory for them. Yet they can be quite attractive. And they know money doesn't grow on trees. They appreciate that shit because they know how hard it is to get, even on their backs. Every one of my "uncles" who didn't go the high school sweetheart route has a few working girl wives in various Chinese cities who take care of them when they're there, maintain their house, and manage their businesses. When I ask my uncles about it, all of them say their working girl wives are by far the best and have made them way more money than they could have made on their own. Most of these uncles are Taiwanese guys so they have difficulty penetrating local markets and establishing contacts, but when they hook up with a working girl who's local it opens all kinds of doors. And she FIGHTS for the opportunity to do so. She values that shit so much. Because economic opportunity is the one thing she can't get. So yeah, I think you're looking in the wrong places when it comes to China girls. Take everything Americans believe about women and turn it upside down, and you'd probably have a much better time when it comes to Mainlanders. In China, the whores are honorable and the college grads are criminal. Sigh... I feel like a hopeless romantic Northerner next to this hard-nosed Taiwanese/Fujianese advice I'm hearing You're kind of right, but I think that mainland girls *are* changing to an extent. I think a lot of them are getting more... aspirational? At least I hope. I still like Chinese girls a lot, I like their sense of determination and pluck... but sometimes their sheer materialism is a huge turn-off.
Hahah sorry . And yeah, I agree that they are starting to change. But I think it will be 1-2 more generations before they really get off this obsession with money, at least a decent %age of them.
I also really like their sense of determination and pluck, courage, adventurous spirit, etc, but then again isn't all that determination and pluck for the sake of making $$?? The two kind of go hand in hand.
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On February 19 2013 11:59 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 09:30 Burrfoot wrote:On February 19 2013 08:38 Shady Sands wrote:
Half-Asians generally look really nice. Afro-asian kids look the coolest tho! Yep and they're also pretty good at golf Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 09:26 sths wrote:Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p My cousins in Taiwan moved to Australia to dodge the draft, so therefore they are harder to find since they are hiding. 100% true and accurate fact(s)! looool. Taiwan still has a draft? Why?
Lol yeah, they got a draft. They've been talking about doing away with it though. And they have one because evul PRC might attack at any moment! My dad was an MP when he got drafted. I have to admit, there were some rough times growing up under the guidance of a gangster/MP/1st-gen immigrant.
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how commonly available/used is contraception in mainland china?
edit: nvm, I guess it must be, if they're gonna have a 1child policy. dumb question.
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On February 19 2013 13:53 sam!zdat wrote:
how commonly available/used is contraception in mainland china?
edit: nvm, I guess it must be, if they're gonna have a 1child policy. dumb question.
In my experience, it's rarely used. And for the vast majority of girls I've been with, they just think it's used for preventing pregnancy. They don't really have much understanding of STDs. They also think pulling out works just fine.
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As a Canadian-born Chinese that came from a fairly westernized Hong Kong family, I only realized this "gold-digging" mentality of mainland Chinese girls last year when I met all these new international students from China. At first I found it disgusting, now I start to embrace it. I find comfort in the fact that if I can get a girl with pure wit and charm, I can buy love. Also I know that the Chinese girl I like won't date me because I'm not from money, and hence not mature enough for her. She'll regret it one day when I have money! HA!
From Shady Sands's Chinese Economy Post: "看来你当初选错了...可惜现在后悔也来不及了"
+ Show Spoiler +http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=366300
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y'all need to get yourselves a counterculture so I can sleep with your women more easily
edit:@below - I don't mean counterculture in some sort of relative sense as "whatever is against the main culture of the time." I mean it in the sense of a progressive anti-modernist movement.
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this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind.
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On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind.
I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D
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On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D
Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll 
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On February 20 2013 03:11 sam!zdat wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll
I just want that one girl who'll rub my back when I'm tired and cheer me up when I'm sad, without making me feel like I'm paying her to do it. Is it that much to ask?
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after the revolution, shady, after the revolution
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I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start?
Go date a grad student who's majoring in something useless outside of academia. That's by far the easiest way to find someone who has dreams and is independent. Anyone who goes into grad school for a PhD in something like medieval studies is going to be pretty non-materialistic (either in the sense that she'll already have lots of money and so doesn't care about it, or doesn't have lots of money and thinks sacrificing earning potential for 6+ years for a degree like medieval studies is worth it, which is pretty non-materialistic -- I know amazing girls in both categories). Whether or not she'll be funny or pretty is another matter altogether, and you'd probably have to move around with her depending on where she ends up getting hired, but hey, it depends on what you're willing to "sacrifice."
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful.
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On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful.
stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered
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On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered
Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy
But then again, that was her family business
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On February 20 2013 03:41 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 03:11 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll I just want that one girl who'll rub my back when I'm tired and cheer me up when I'm sad, without making me feel like I'm paying her to do it. Is it that much to ask?
For that, I'd date 20 to 26 year old American girls who majored in History, English, or Education. But you better be good looking and have the abs of a god. After all, they have to have SOME reason to love you. If it's not your wallet, it should be your six-pack and your to-die-for smile. Or if not that, then you should play the guitar really well and have dreams of becoming a rock star. Or a DJ. Something super ambitious and artistic but not yet realized in its potential.
By the time they're 30 though, most wake up, smell the doggy doo, and start sniffing around for wallets.
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On February 20 2013 04:12 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy But then again, that was her family business
I graduated with a degree in creative writing. I've dated a lot of art/English majors. They're sweet, and their love is pure and innocent, and they're passionate and romantic and amazing. But after a year or so they disappear because they decided the most important thing in their life was to go take photographs of trains in the Midwest or that Kathmandu was where they would find the truth of their past lives. Another one decided she would become a pilot, then a forest ranger, then a sex buddy/muse for some Italian tailor living in London. You really have no idea what is going to jump out of the box from day to day, which is fun for a while, but then it just gives you grey hairs. I'd stick to the gold-diggers. At least you can understand them to a degree.
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You guys are doing it all wrong. Go after the fat chicks from money and then when the time comes to talk prenup they are the ones bringing it up. Just make sure she has a pretty face because everything else is going to go after a few kids.
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On February 20 2013 03:41 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 03:11 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll I just want that one girl who'll rub my back when I'm tired and cheer me up when I'm sad, without making me feel like I'm paying her to do it. Is it that much to ask?
My roommate gave me a massage earlier this week when I asked. :D
She actually fits all your personality requirements. Asian, female, very intellectually stimulating, thoughtful, speaks her mind, very independent; she worked 3-4 jobs once on top of all her classes without needing to, simply because she wanted to be able to buy her own shit and not waste her parents' money and likes being financially independent. Poli sci major interested in US-China relations, willing to do policy for a bit before moving back to academia. But alas, she's probably not your type from what I can tell, lol.
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On February 20 2013 04:21 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:12 Shady Sands wrote:On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy But then again, that was her family business I graduated with a degree in creative writing. I've dated a lot of art/English majors. They're sweet, and their love is pure and innocent, and they're passionate and romantic and amazing. But after a year or so they disappear because they decided the most important thing in their life was to go take photographs of trains in the Midwest or that Kathmandu was where they would find the truth of their past lives. Another one decided she would become a pilot, then a forest ranger, then a sex buddy/muse for some Italian tailor living in London. You really have no idea what is going to jump out of the box from day to day, which is fun for a while, but then it just gives you grey hairs. I'd stick to the gold-diggers. At least you can understand them to a degree.
Idk, I think I'd understand the Kathmandu girl more than a gold-digger. Maybe this makes me stupid
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On February 20 2013 04:25 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 03:41 Shady Sands wrote:On February 20 2013 03:11 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll I just want that one girl who'll rub my back when I'm tired and cheer me up when I'm sad, without making me feel like I'm paying her to do it. Is it that much to ask? My roommate gave me a massage earlier this week when I asked. :D She actually fits all your personality requirements. Asian, female, very intellectually stimulating, thoughtful, speaks her mind, very independent; she worked 3-4 jobs once on top of all her classes without needing to, simply because she wanted to be able to buy her own shit and not waste her parents' money and likes being financially independent. Poli sci major interested in US-China relations, willing to do policy for a bit before moving back to academia. But alas, she's probably not your type from what I can tell, lol.
lol
are you serious?
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On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +I mean, come on, is it really that hard? I'd want a girl who is funny, honest, curious, yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, I need one who is independent. I don't need a girl who's sole purpose in life is to settle down with a 250k/yr husband and raise 2.2 kids in a white picket fence. Fuck man, it's not even because I'm stingy--I'd be happy paying for her--I'd just much rather pay for her dreams than pay for her shopping expeditions. She wants to become a film director? Great, sign me up to underwrite her first shoot. She wants to be an artist? I'll rent her a studio. She wants to become a doctor? I'll even pitch in on her med school tuition. I don't want a girl who just wants me for the money and offers nothing but sex and food in return--it makes me feel like I'm engaged to a prostitute. I need independence because I need love, and love (to me) is made not when two people fuck but when two people put their dreams together to make something grand. But if she has no dreams, where do I even start? Go date a grad student who's majoring in something useless outside of academia. That's by far the easiest way to find someone who has dreams and is independent. Anyone who goes into grad school for a PhD in something like medieval studies is going to be pretty non-materialistic (either in the sense that she'll already have lots of money and so doesn't care about it, or doesn't have lots of money and thinks sacrificing earning potential for 6+ years for a degree like medieval studies is worth it, which is pretty non-materialistic -- I know amazing girls in both categories). Whether or not she'll be funny or pretty is another matter altogether, and you'd probably have to move around with her depending on where she ends up getting hired, but hey, it depends on what you're willing to "sacrifice." Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful.
Strangely enough, my mom got a PhD in Organic Chemistry before gender equality was fashionable in China. She never struck me as hardcore, although that might have been because chemistry came easily to her
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On February 20 2013 04:26 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:21 SamsungStar wrote:On February 20 2013 04:12 Shady Sands wrote:On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy But then again, that was her family business I graduated with a degree in creative writing. I've dated a lot of art/English majors. They're sweet, and their love is pure and innocent, and they're passionate and romantic and amazing. But after a year or so they disappear because they decided the most important thing in their life was to go take photographs of trains in the Midwest or that Kathmandu was where they would find the truth of their past lives. Another one decided she would become a pilot, then a forest ranger, then a sex buddy/muse for some Italian tailor living in London. You really have no idea what is going to jump out of the box from day to day, which is fun for a while, but then it just gives you grey hairs. I'd stick to the gold-diggers. At least you can understand them to a degree. Idk, I think I'd understand the Kathmandu girl more than a gold-digger. Maybe this makes me stupid
nah, this means you have a soul. whether or not that is equivalent to stupidity we will leave for another day
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On February 20 2013 04:22 Burrfoot wrote:
You guys are doing it all wrong. Go after the fat chicks from money and then when the time comes to talk prenup they are the ones bringing it up. Just make sure she has a pretty face because everything else is going to go after a few kids.
![[image loading]](http://hd35.xiaonei.com/photos/hd35/20080723/14/05/large_2199o150.jpg)
Not all rich girls are ugly
EDIT: That's banker girl from Beijing Blues
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^you're missing his point though. the fat ones are easier to get
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95% sure she has a mustache.
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On February 20 2013 04:26 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:21 SamsungStar wrote:On February 20 2013 04:12 Shady Sands wrote:On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy But then again, that was her family business I graduated with a degree in creative writing. I've dated a lot of art/English majors. They're sweet, and their love is pure and innocent, and they're passionate and romantic and amazing. But after a year or so they disappear because they decided the most important thing in their life was to go take photographs of trains in the Midwest or that Kathmandu was where they would find the truth of their past lives. Another one decided she would become a pilot, then a forest ranger, then a sex buddy/muse for some Italian tailor living in London. You really have no idea what is going to jump out of the box from day to day, which is fun for a while, but then it just gives you grey hairs. I'd stick to the gold-diggers. At least you can understand them to a degree. Idk, I think I'd understand the Kathmandu girl more than a gold-digger. Maybe this makes me stupid
Oh, I understand her too. That's why I graduated with CRW not Finance XD. I just know that two crazy irrational dreamers leads to nothing but a fiery inferno of impracticality. When I'm with those types, I feel like I've got a soulmate, someone who understands me. But then reality rears its ugly head, and practical matters enter the mix like paying rent and saving for retirement. That's when shit goes pear-shaped.
In my experience, these types of girls tend to have much more unorthodox sexual habits too, which my monogamous sensibilities finds really disturbing.
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TLADT24920 Posts
When are we getting Beijing Blues, Part 6????? Thanks for the good read!
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Is it just me or is her elbow looking strangely bent in that picture???
On February 20 2013 04:12 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy But then again, that was her family business
Is that the same girl from the "I miss you" blog?
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my girlfriend is mainland chinese. shes totally different from most others ive met though. shes extremely idealistic, has an unusual talent for forgiveness, thinks love will solve all problems, is a hopeless romantic, wants a good job in the US so she can support her family. sometimes i wish she werent so airheaded, but it's kinda cute.
i dont know if i should be angry or glad that i have had no such drama as shadysands does.
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On February 20 2013 06:58 ieatkids5 wrote:
my girlfriend is mainland chinese. wants a good job in the US so she can support her family.
Let us know how many months you guys are married before she leaves! :-D hehe
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why do girls love wearing those massive bug eye sunnies? it covers half their face, might as well wear a mask.
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On February 20 2013 09:40 sths wrote:
why do girls love wearing those massive bug eye sunnies? it covers half their face, might as well wear a mask.
![[image loading]](http://hdn101.rrimg.com/photos/hdn101/20081127/18/58/head_wNM2_117i000001.jpg)
Another pic
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On February 20 2013 05:33 AssuredVacancy wrote:
Is it just me or is her elbow looking strangely bent in that picture???
It is. But it's the norm for skinny chinese girls :p
[edit] don't really want to say that in public in the end :o
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On February 20 2013 07:17 Burrfoot wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 06:58 ieatkids5 wrote:
my girlfriend is mainland chinese. wants a good job in the US so she can support her family. Let us know how many months you guys are married before she leaves! :-D hehe
hahaha who said anything about marriage. then again, my parents are already talking about it... probably hers too...
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On February 20 2013 05:33 AssuredVacancy wrote:Is it just me or is her elbow looking strangely bent in that picture??? Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 04:12 Shady Sands wrote:On February 20 2013 04:10 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 04:06 babylon wrote:
Anyways, just gonna say, women who make it in academia (you know, getting cited everywhere and properly respected, not 'cause of the fact she's a woman but because her work is amazing), in male-dominated fields, are fierce and brilliant and forceful. stop it babylon you're getting me all hot and bothered Maybe this is why my dream girl all through college (other than the girls I was dating) was an art history major whose passion was Chinese antiques and calligraphy But then again, that was her family business Is that the same girl from the "I miss you" blog?
Nope, not the same girl from the "I miss you" blog
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On February 19 2013 13:51 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 11:59 Shady Sands wrote:On February 19 2013 09:30 Burrfoot wrote:On February 19 2013 08:38 Shady Sands wrote:
Half-Asians generally look really nice. Afro-asian kids look the coolest tho! Yep and they're also pretty good at golf On February 19 2013 09:26 sths wrote:Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p My cousins in Taiwan moved to Australia to dodge the draft, so therefore they are harder to find since they are hiding. 100% true and accurate fact(s)! looool. Taiwan still has a draft? Why? Lol yeah, they got a draft. They've been talking about doing away with it though. And they have one because evul PRC might attack at any moment! My dad was an MP when he got drafted. I have to admit, there were some rough times growing up under the guidance of a gangster/MP/1st-gen immigrant.
As an aside, Taiwan's draft is completely stupid, because Taiwan is not South Korea--insofar as it doesn't share a land border with its rival. Any war with China would be decided pretty much in the first six to twelve hours: whichever side can put more planes and missiles into the air while shutting down the other side's ability to do so equals the side that can shut down the other side's ability to either move men across the strait or move men around the island, which is the crux of successful offense or defense. The money that goes into feeding, housing, and training all those ROC draftees would be better spent on subs, sea-mining capabilities, and air defense networks.
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On February 20 2013 13:23 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 13:51 SamsungStar wrote:On February 19 2013 11:59 Shady Sands wrote:On February 19 2013 09:30 Burrfoot wrote:On February 19 2013 08:38 Shady Sands wrote:
Half-Asians generally look really nice. Afro-asian kids look the coolest tho! Yep and they're also pretty good at golf On February 19 2013 09:26 sths wrote:Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p My cousins in Taiwan moved to Australia to dodge the draft, so therefore they are harder to find since they are hiding. 100% true and accurate fact(s)! looool. Taiwan still has a draft? Why? Lol yeah, they got a draft. They've been talking about doing away with it though. And they have one because evul PRC might attack at any moment! My dad was an MP when he got drafted. I have to admit, there were some rough times growing up under the guidance of a gangster/MP/1st-gen immigrant. As an aside, Taiwan's draft is completely stupid, because Taiwan is not South Korea--insofar as it doesn't share a land border with its rival. Any war with China would be decided pretty much in the first six to twelve hours: whichever side can put more planes and missiles into the air while shutting down the other side's ability to do so equals the side that can shut down the other side's ability to either move men across the strait or move men around the island, which is the crux of successful offense or defense. The money that goes into feeding, housing, and training all those ROC draftees would be better spent on subs, sea-mining capabilities, and air defense networks.
haha yeah, I think they just keep it out of a sense of pride. From what I've seen, it sort of serves as a secondary form of public education. Every TWese guy I've met is proud of their time in the military, says it taught them discipline etc. Plus, they use it as a sort of networking system when meeting elders. Like if they join a new company, their superior will ask where they served etc, and if they end up being from the same company it's a big bonus point for them. Almost like a frat thing, really.
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^That's why every country should have mandatory universal civil service
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On February 20 2013 13:33 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 13:23 Shady Sands wrote:On February 19 2013 13:51 SamsungStar wrote:On February 19 2013 11:59 Shady Sands wrote:On February 19 2013 09:30 Burrfoot wrote:On February 19 2013 08:38 Shady Sands wrote:
Half-Asians generally look really nice. Afro-asian kids look the coolest tho! Yep and they're also pretty good at golf On February 19 2013 09:26 sths wrote:Lastly you guys complain too much. According to wiki theres more than 14 million asians in the USA. Theres only 300k in Australia . So quit your bitching, if you can't find one decent girl in 14million then your standards are too high :p My cousins in Taiwan moved to Australia to dodge the draft, so therefore they are harder to find since they are hiding. 100% true and accurate fact(s)! looool. Taiwan still has a draft? Why? Lol yeah, they got a draft. They've been talking about doing away with it though. And they have one because evul PRC might attack at any moment! My dad was an MP when he got drafted. I have to admit, there were some rough times growing up under the guidance of a gangster/MP/1st-gen immigrant. As an aside, Taiwan's draft is completely stupid, because Taiwan is not South Korea--insofar as it doesn't share a land border with its rival. Any war with China would be decided pretty much in the first six to twelve hours: whichever side can put more planes and missiles into the air while shutting down the other side's ability to do so equals the side that can shut down the other side's ability to either move men across the strait or move men around the island, which is the crux of successful offense or defense. The money that goes into feeding, housing, and training all those ROC draftees would be better spent on subs, sea-mining capabilities, and air defense networks. haha yeah, I think they just keep it out of a sense of pride. From what I've seen, it sort of serves as a secondary form of public education. Every TWese guy I've met is proud of their time in the military, says it taught them discipline etc. Plus, they use it as a sort of networking system when meeting elders. Like if they join a new company, their superior will ask where they served etc, and if they end up being from the same company it's a big bonus point for them. Almost like a frat thing, really.
Ah, interesting. It makes sense, given that the early KMT was basically an outgrowth of 天地会
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ah thats interesting, did not know that. Its funny how perceptions of beauty changes based on culture. Having white skin is supposedly considered good in asia yet its considered not so good in the west.
ie: you only see asian women with an umbrella out on a sunny day.
Who comes up with these ideas of whats hot and whats not?
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On February 20 2013 18:54 sths wrote:
ah thats interesting, did not know that. Its funny how perceptions of beauty changes based on culture. Having white skin is supposedly considered good in asia yet its considered not so good in the west.
ie: you only see asian women with an umbrella out on a sunny day.
Who comes up with these ideas of whats hot and whats not?
Given that 1/16th of Asian men are descendants of Genghis Khan, I'd say a lot of us are laboring under his ideas of female beauty
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On February 20 2013 10:01 ulan-bat wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 05:33 AssuredVacancy wrote:
Is it just me or is her elbow looking strangely bent in that picture??? It is. But it's the norm for skinny chinese girls :p [edit] don't really want to say that in public in the end :o
after reading this i rewatched the photo.. omg that elbow... looks that someone used an armbar to destroy her arm :s
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On February 20 2013 03:11 sam!zdat wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll
There are a few differences but it's generally exactly what I was talking about. You want a hippie movement. You want free love. I'd love for it to happen too especially if it means there will bea Chinese Jimi Hendrix equivalent
On February 20 2013 04:17 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2013 03:41 Shady Sands wrote:On February 20 2013 03:11 sam!zdat wrote:On February 20 2013 00:05 JieXian wrote:On February 19 2013 16:28 sths wrote:
this IS the counterculture. Chinese women weren't always materialistic money grubbing machines. They sorta just got exposed to capitalism too quickly. Kind of like kids these days that get exposed to hardcore porn when they're under 10. Will mess with your mind. I'm sure he wanted the type where people have one night stands every other day :D Me? absolutely not. I want to the type where they despise consumerism, read books, take psychedelics, and listen to rock n roll I just want that one girl who'll rub my back when I'm tired and cheer me up when I'm sad, without making me feel like I'm paying her to do it. Is it that much to ask? By the time they're 30 though, most wake up, smell the doggy doo, and start sniffing around for wallets.
dat imagery lol
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EPT
