I wrote a blog recently about a lot of the difficulties I’ve had to go through over the past few years, not really with respect to esports but more so just about my life in general. I want to write about the same period but from a different angle. My life isn’t lived in a vacuum and I don’t think I’ve really sat down to think about and appreciate how I’ve been able to get through everything that’s happened in my life and the past few years. For over two years now, a big part of how I’m able to stay sane is because of my girlfriend Brooke.
I feel bad because I am so engrossed in my work these days and I feel like I’ve been a bad boyfriend, but I really can’t imagine anybody else being as supportive and helpful despite not having any real interest in what I do. I was talking to Mona one day in the summer of 2010 and she told me that she was trying to coax her friend Brooke to make a banner graphic for the CSL because, you know, she’s good at art. That’s pretty much how it began.
So I was going to go to DC because there was a MLG there, and since I had lived there in 2009 I wanted to go early just to meet up with some friends. I told Mona that I would take Brooke out to dinner for helping with the CSL site, so I did. It’s weird for me to think back to that time because my life was in a totally different place, and when I met Brooke everything just seemed so natural, it was as if we had already been friends for a long time. I can’t even really describe it, and I think that’s why even after being together for almost two and a half years, and living so far away from each other, I still feel the same as I did on the first day I met her.
The first question she asked me was whether I was a folder or a scruncher, and I knew exactly what she was talking about. That pretty much sums it all up in my mind.
No matter what happens I know that Brooke will be there to support me, and she’s done way more for me than I could ever hope to repay. I feel really bad because I don’t have any useful skills to actually help her in her career or anything and yet she’s done so much for me in terms of helping make proposals, design entire websites, and the like. When everyone around me was flaking out and crumbling, I was always able to count on Brooke to be there to support me, and she’s never played a game of StarCraft in her life and never will. It makes me really sad sometimes that I don’t have any kind of talent that can help her get through difficult times at work (although I guess I did write essays for her in school… weeee!!!).
Basically, I couldn’t be happier right now, even though my life is pretty much in flux and this period has been really hard on me, I know that I have someone that’s sharing in everything with me and that makes life a lot easier to think about and bear. I just haven’t done as good of a job of telling her that and I’m really going to try a lot harder to improve.
I guess I’m writing this to think aloud about my relationship, but also to urge anyone else who is in a relationship and possibly going through the same issues as me (I.E. being stressed, overworked, and finding it difficult to express yourself) to think about it.
Brooke is one of the strongest people I know, and she’s been able to develop that strength entirely on her own. It’s that strength that allows her to be a truly unique individual and again that’s something that makes her such a great person. She’s inspired me in a lot of ways, especially with her passion for what she does (design). It’s inspiring to me to see and be around somebody who is so into what they do that almost all their thoughts reflect it. I love it because that’s how I am as well; when I do something I dedicate everything I have to it so I really admire it when I see that quality in other people. Most people don’t have that.
I consider myself a really lucky person to have someone so awesome to be with, to have a girlfriend who is supportive of everything I do and understands how much my work/passion/career mean to me. I’m also really happy that I’ll get to be spending Valentine’s day with her despite everything that’s going on. Even just seeing her for a few days, even though we’re both going to be really busy (CSL Finals this weekend!!!), just the fact that I’ll be with the person I love means everything to me and will make the event that much better.
I’ve been through a lot and there’s no way I would have been able to do it without Brooke, and I want to do what I can to tell her that.
Also, our hair is matching now~~