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Things that might differ in the short term may end up having the same ultimate outcome in the long term. Things that may have short term gains may end up as long term losses, and vice versa. But in the long run we are all dead, so we should care about the short term, even if it leads to a sub-optimal long term result. After all, who really knows what will happen in 5, 10, 50, or 100 years from now? Predictions farther out into the future are subject to increasingly arbitrary assumptions, biases, estimates, chance, and plain flat-out guessing. Economic models are elegant but misleading. The answer is more complicated than a meticulously crafted formula would like to allege. Hence, live life in the moment.
But then comes either the virtue or curse of delayed gratification. Studies have shown that children who were able to demonstrate greater self control ended up being more successful as adults than those less disciplined. They were offered a cookie, but were told that if they waited some set period of time before taking it, they would be given another cookie. Apparently, those that chose the greater long term return of two cookies ended up, later in life, with better incomes or whatever metrics they used. In other words, patience is a virtue. They could appreciate the trade off between short term pleasure for long run greater gains.
In the experiment, the administrators were trustworthy to provide the benefit. In the real world, this is not so. Risk is fundamental to any future expectations. Sometimes we keep waiting for the long run return but it never comes. There is no guarantee my sacrifice will pay off – it’s only a chance.
To keep ourselves going, many have to tell themselves that things will get better in time. How long will it take? I have traditionally taken comfort in and prided myself on being a long term thinker/planner. It has cost some degree of short term sacrifice. But as I near some of my major life milestones, the payoff is becoming less and less what I expected. Either my estimates were wrong, or my life path took an unfortunate route down the wrong decision tree branch. All these short term concessions were for nothing.
I have lived my life right in some ways, and wrong in others. For someone obsessed with optimization and perfection, this is unacceptable. I don’t believe in learning from my mistakes; I blame myself for not factoring in those pitfalls at the outset. And so people tell me to loosen up, enjoy my time in the moment. Someone suggested to me (here) that I should go find a hooker. Honestly, I think that actually might have some benefits for me. But practically speaking, I don’t think that will happen.
I really only have two basic goals in my life: a successful career and love life. I am at zero, or worse, at both. Comparing my total earnings to living expenses incurred to date, I have undoubtedly been a huge negative burden to my family. This is true for everyone up until a certain stage in their life, and I do expect it to turn around dramatically (hopefully, soon), but again it is a long term prospect. And it is taking longer for me to get there than my peers. Being the hyper-competitive sort, that really kills me inside. Romance-wise, I am a forever-alone type. Never been in a relationship, never been romantically involved, never held hands. I know I have the gifts and tools to be successful in this endeavour – but here I have truly been doing it all wrong. Those that I have fallen for, hard, have not reciprocated.
I’m 24 now, and there should no longer be any greater returns for delayed gratification. I need to realize gains in my life goals. I need to win now. Further postponement will only decrease the present value of my life satisfaction. It’s not so much a matter of turning things around, but rather seeing things start to fall in place. I’ve been waiting for too long and have no more patience.
 
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I'm going to release a post on happiness in a few days. Hopefully it will help you find yours.
It requires a radical shift in mindset. Everyone always says, appreciate the path more than the goal, and it's true. Appreciate the little things that make up your life and make your day.
But it's also gradual. Slowly start changing your life for the better, one day at a time, and you'll start seeing things much differently.
I am probably more of a perfectionist than you are, so I know how it feels. But this is not the way to go about that. Stop setting life goals and set some daily goals. Because there's no point in looking at the big picture if you can't get past the little ones. Stop hating on yourself, and accept who you are.
Take care.
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On January 20 2013 12:15 FragKrag wrote:
yay you're back :D
Who was he before?
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I've never really been gone  . I've always been hanging around, just not feeling too expressive I guess. Looking back I only made 2 posts in 2012. Although I suppose I am tempted to share when I'm feeling down, so maybe that wasn't a bad thing.
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Wheres SpiritoftheTuna, tl needs him once again
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I agree with Blisse. I don't think people suddenly become happy when they suddenly start earning money. I've never been in a relationship either. I do remember enjoying just sitting in parks when I ate lunch though. Those little things really make life much better.
Risk is always there. There's a risk right now that an airplane will crash into your house. But I think most of the people who go to college with a programming degree get a good job. The vast majority probably do. If you've heard about 21, you'd know that students used arithmetic to figure out when their expected value of winning was high given that they followed basic strategy. They played over thousands of hands. There's a chance that they would have lost every hand but that chance is extremely small. When you know how to play the game, your risk is small.
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You said you like "optimization", which I take it as giving the bare minimum effort. I mean why work hard on every assignment when an A is the same as an A+? they are both 4.0. But I think the problem lies in our inability to predict. We can't accurately predict what will happen in the future and we never know the precise expected return of an action. What I suggest to you, and to myself as well, is not to cut corners and give 100% effort for whatever you do. If you are out at a party, socialize and have fun as much as possible. Studying? give your 100% no internet and no messing around. Playing sports? aim to win at all costs even if you're playing against junior high kids. I think it will becomes a habit.
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Sure, get up and do something about your situation. This is the first step towards anything good. Nothing is worse than persisting in bad habits.
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But in the long run we are all dead, so we should care about the short term
Actually I think inevitable death means we should care less about both the short term and the long term. But we should care about the long run even less.
Delayed gratification is dependent upon the feeling that things are permanently improving, when the reality is that it ends in death, so any progress is an illusion except to benefit in the short term.
If I want to be an extreme rationalist here, the best life would probably be to do the bare minimum required to survive comfortably until around age 60, and then instead of retiring for a couple decades with all the money you foolishly hoarded, instead use the little money that's left to start abusing heroin or other drugs for a couple years until it kills you in a pleasant high. This way both the long run and short run happiness can be maximized.
Anyway, you shouldn't have put love after career. Love matters far more when it comes to happiness. Don't think of money as "paying your parent back," they chose to invest in a child and have already received their returns in the form of happiness. Think of money as just a tool for basic survival and comfort and nothing more.
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On January 21 2013 05:05 liberal wrote:Actually I think inevitable death means we should care less about both the short term and the long term. But we should care about the long run even less. Delayed gratification is dependent upon the feeling that things are permanently improving, when the reality is that it ends in death, so any progress is an illusion except to benefit in the short term. If I want to be an extreme rationalist here, the best life would probably be to do the bare minimum required to survive comfortably until around age 60, and then instead of retiring for a couple decades with all the money you foolishly hoarded, instead use the little money that's left to start abusing heroin or other drugs for a couple years until it kills you in a pleasant high. This way both the long run and short run happiness can be maximized. Anyway, you shouldn't have put love after career. Love matters far more when it comes to happiness. Don't think of money as "paying your parent back," they chose to invest in a child and have already received their returns in the form of happiness. Think of money as just a tool for basic survival and comfort and nothing more.
The proximity of death and the pleasantness of a "high" tend to be inversely correlated. In other words, that heart attack from coke or the respiratory depression from opiate overdose will almost certainly wipe any smile right off your face. If you're talking casual drug abuse up until the point of death from age or natural causes, that I can dig 
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On January 21 2013 05:05 liberal wrote:Actually I think inevitable death means we should care less about both the short term and the long term. But we should care about the long run even less. Delayed gratification is dependent upon the feeling that things are permanently improving, when the reality is that it ends in death, so any progress is an illusion except to benefit in the short term. If I want to be an extreme rationalist here, the best life would probably be to do the bare minimum required to survive comfortably until around age 60, and then instead of retiring for a couple decades with all the money you foolishly hoarded, instead use the little money that's left to start abusing heroin or other drugs for a couple years until it kills you in a pleasant high. This way both the long run and short run happiness can be maximized. Anyway, you shouldn't have put love after career. Love matters far more when it comes to happiness. Don't think of money as "paying your parent back," they chose to invest in a child and have already received their returns in the form of happiness. Think of money as just a tool for basic survival and comfort and nothing more.
Not necessarily. The study OP mentioned implies that people who go on to become successful have the ability to derive pleasure from future events. They work hard now because they can derive pleasure from thinking about what they will become and what they will have in the future. In essence, they are satisfying short term desires
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I think it takes some verbal gymnastics to call that "satisfying short term desires"
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for most people working is the exact opposite of sastisfying short term desires. it's a pain that you do because either you recognize its utility or you're more or less rationnaly convinced that men are doomed to work.
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EPT
