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On January 01 2013 12:46 iNcontroL wrote:awesome read man  I remember meeting you in Orlando AND I remember hearing the legend around the tourney of your dreaded momma rush (or something like that) apparently you were crushing nerds with some vortex haha
yeah it wasnt a vortex more like an independence day planet cracker that just chain reacts through everything in an AOE providing an instant kill =P (example is in that video up in my blog if anyone is interested. granted its 30 seconds of a game that was over an hour, the mothership comeback was lol.) Managed to win a game with a 360 chain reaction in that tournament lol, literally on a map the size of taldarim, had to panic and sell or move my own buildings as my base started going and even I was like wait what..... It was against philbots, think he was the same team as you as well, ToT... not entirely sure on that one though.
But yea watching your run at that tournament was awesome, As you never know who your going to meet to at those old events.
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Nice blog man. Enjoyed it
On January 01 2013 10:36 so_pringles wrote:
you keep saying you practice so hard, but then say 8+ hours a day. Pretty sure theres lots of ppl out there practicing nearly double that.
8 hrs is a solid amount to practice. It's pretty rare for people to do more than that consistently (unless you're in a strictly regimented KeSPA house or something lol).
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On January 01 2013 08:50 T.O.P. wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2013 08:26 KiF1rE wrote:On January 01 2013 08:17 T.O.P. wrote:
When they say be patient and you'll get there with hard work, they're right. They're anticipating that with hard work, you can increase your skill to the level of top pros. No one is hating on you and preventing you from being a pro player. It's not that they're not recognizing your skill, it's that they think your skill level is not there yet.
No pro slumps all the way down to mid master. Come on, man. So when I took out violet, had a few accounts in GM, took out stephano, beat cella, yeah that was all with hard work! Winning over 3k from SC2 was with hard work. Winning 13 lans in SC2 hard work. All i do is work hard... Hell lets ignore SC2 altogether... Placing top 3 in the country and not being able to join a semi low tier team for that game? And if you want to go back to SC2. what about the teams that consistently sign players that I recently 2-0 in a major tournament like WCG or MLG qualifiers etc... I dunno man, I really dont care about ladder, Why before I was trying new gate openings and a variety of other stuff, to much HOTS and screwing around lately. I dunno, I just hate when people bring up ladder rank like it matters.... Than if it mattered why when I was rank 1 on the entire server points wise in beta not matter? Why when I hit rank 2 gm in HOTS it doesnt matter... Because only people that wish to insult people care about ladder rank lol. Hence why some guy is telling me off with a 0-2 record on ladder. I just want to put some reality into you. Even if I'm 0-2 with my main, I beat you with my offrace. SC2 is a very volatile game. Everyone who's high masters beat a pro many times before. Frankly, your accomplishment list doesn't mean much. Early on Hots Beta, platinum players got into GM. It didn't mean anything. Winning 13 lans isn't hard. Who was your competition? Plat, Gold, Diamond, Masters players? Being good in SC2 beta doesn't matter either, back then you could have just 4 gated and won like every game. Besides, player skill have advanced so much now. Does CauthonLuck gets into a pro team because of his past accomplishments?
I bet you if a player like cauthonluck did come back, he would indeed get into a pro team because of past accomplishments/exposure faster than better unknown or less publicized players. You can bet your ass yes on that one.
It's a good and bad thing at the same time.
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cauthonluck earned the recognition though, I wouldn't have any problem with that. after all he had a build named after him. :D
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On January 02 2013 11:41 LuckyFool wrote:
cauthonluck earned the recognition though, I wouldn't have any problem with that. after all he had a build named after him. :D
I had a build named after me too... Just no one cared about it lol. Avilo knows what it was though =P even incontrol knows of it lol.....
hint "enemy mothership detected"
the master of the mothership rush! sadly been doing it since 2007 years before SC2 came out. and never got any recognition in it for doing it in SC2. Even beat cauthonluck with it.... But whatever.... Now I wish it was possible that I still had the replays back from the beta rofl...
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You said you went to school. Do you have a college degree?
Maybe it is time to hang up your hat, and esports becomes a hobby. I know you love it, but considering your circumstance a wise choice might be to search for a career in whatever your education's focus was.
Winning 3k in SC2 is nice, but a 3k paycheck should probably slightly less then your monthly income at your age. It is ok to move on. I am sure you can find something else that you enjoy doing and look back at your accomplishments.
Join the grown up world. :-)
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esports is part of the grown up world - duh.
The difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline.
If it's meant to be it will happen. One example is Harrison Ford. After a few bit parts and getting nowhere with his acting career, he decided to quit the biz and get a "real" job as a carpenter. He was working on Steven Spielberg's house while Spielberg was auditioning actors for Star Wars. The dude that was supposed to read lines didn't show up and Spielberg asked the unknown Ford if he'd please read lines for actors.
After numerous auditions Spielberg decided that the best one to play Hans Solo was the guy reading lines for "real" actors - Harrison Ford. True story. Not only inspirational, but proof that even if you give up on your dreams, your dreams never give up on you.
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On January 03 2013 00:39 Smancer wrote:
You said you went to school. Do you have a college degree?
Maybe it is time to hang up your hat, and esports becomes a hobby. I know you love it, but considering your circumstance a wise choice might be to search for a career in whatever your education's focus was.
Winning 3k in SC2 is nice, but a 3k paycheck should probably slightly less then your monthly income at your age. It is ok to move on. I am sure you can find something else that you enjoy doing and look back at your accomplishments.
Join the grown up world. :-)
Yep ive graduated unfortunately im more stuck on the job thing than esports... If you look at my pessimistic side, The odds of a company hiring me, I have a better shot at winning every single MLG next year....Well at least thats how I feel. Considering ive been denied by fast food places, so my hopes are really low in the whole job department. Esports on the other hand has actually given back to me, I wish I could give back to esports but thats on the same realm of finding a job as well. I get rejected for volunteer stuff and im not the greatest at doing things solo, such as casting and stuff along those lines.
Ideally though, I would love to have a job and still compete. It would remove all the downsides of failure and make it feel like i dont have to win every game possible, Because I dont know how much is enough in my current state, All i know is what I do win is not enough by far. Its not even enough to join a smaller low tier team so whatever in that regard. I wouldn't say my SC2 career is washed up, I just need to practice harder and improve my living environment, Playing less SC2 would probably actually help me improve. As my financial situation would be so much better, assuming my job lets me compete. But id have to worry about actually finding a company to actually hire me first. Which is one of my goals this year, but it was also my goal the year before and the year before that, etc.... =/
On January 03 2013 04:39 Arkansassy wrote:esports is part of the grown up world - duh. The difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline. If it's meant to be it will happen. One example is Harrison Ford. After a few bit parts and getting nowhere with his acting career, he decided to quit the biz and get a "real" job as a carpenter. He was working on Steven Spielberg's house while Spielberg was auditioning actors for Star Wars. The dude that was supposed to read lines didn't show up and Spielberg asked the unknown Ford if he'd please read lines for actors. After numerous auditions Spielberg decided that the best one to play Hans Solo was the guy reading lines for "real" actors - Harrison Ford. True story. Not only inspirational, but proof that even if you give up on your dreams, your dreams never give up on you.
In terms of inspirational stories Fords is probably the best. A lot better example than majority of pro athletes and stuff. However not really all that applicable as I will never give up.
All in all thats some of the stuff I want to change in both esports and life, As I want to do more casting, do more stuff, create more content, Apply for more places to work, Talk to more team managers, build more contacts, get out of the house more.
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On January 03 2013 10:01 KiF1rE wrote:
Yep ive graduated unfortunately im more stuck on the job thing than esports... If you look at my pessimistic side, The odds of a company hiring me, I have a better shot at winning every single MLG next year....Well at least thats how I feel. Considering ive been denied by fast food places, so my hopes are really low in the whole job department. Esports on the other hand has actually given back to me, I wish I could give back to esports but thats on the same realm of finding a job as well. I get rejected for volunteer stuff and im not the greatest at doing things solo, such as casting and stuff along those lines.
Ideally though, I would love to have a job and still compete. It would remove all the downsides of failure and make it feel like i dont have to win every game possible, Because I dont know how much is enough in my current state, All i know is what I do win is not enough by far. Its not even enough to join a smaller low tier team so whatever in that regard. I wouldn't say my SC2 career is washed up, I just need to practice harder and improve my living environment, Playing less SC2 would probably actually help me improve. As my financial situation would be so much better, assuming my job lets me compete. But id have to worry about actually finding a company to actually hire me first. Which is one of my goals this year, but it was also my goal the year before and the year before that, etc.... =/
How hard have you tried?
7 years ago when I was 23, I was looking for summer work. I was well educated and had an exceptional resume for my age. I thought an easy job would be to work at a radio shack for the summer.
I got walked out the back door.
That hurt.
But you know what? Looking for a company and a job is not a personal thing. There should be no feelings involved. It is very much like fishing. You put yourself out there to as many possible companies as you can, and see what happens.
Spend 1 day researching current Resume tactics, structure, dos and don'ts. Then spend one day applying to jobs. Anything and everything. Shoot for over 100. Seriously Spend a day and aply to every single possible company you can think of.
My first move into industry was applying to a job that required 5 years experience. When they asked me why I thought I was qualified I told them that my experience and grades in my mathematic course and discussions with professors vastly improved my analytical thinking when compared to my peers.
That answer was total bullshit. But thats what you need to treat interviews as. It is a game, like starcraft.You are trying to win, by landing the best job possible. And you can't do it without practice. Practice writing a good resume, practice interviewing, practice marketing yourself, practice trying to apply what you know to what the job description is.
It is all a game.
I think moving on is the right thing for you. But you have to try a little harder than a couple rejections before giving up and coming to the conclusion that no company will hire you. I've worked for places that hire the biggest fucking morons you have ever met. So there is hope for you :-P
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On January 04 2013 00:17 Smancer wrote:Show nested quote +On January 03 2013 10:01 KiF1rE wrote:
Yep ive graduated unfortunately im more stuck on the job thing than esports... If you look at my pessimistic side, The odds of a company hiring me, I have a better shot at winning every single MLG next year....Well at least thats how I feel. Considering ive been denied by fast food places, so my hopes are really low in the whole job department. Esports on the other hand has actually given back to me, I wish I could give back to esports but thats on the same realm of finding a job as well. I get rejected for volunteer stuff and im not the greatest at doing things solo, such as casting and stuff along those lines.
Ideally though, I would love to have a job and still compete. It would remove all the downsides of failure and make it feel like i dont have to win every game possible, Because I dont know how much is enough in my current state, All i know is what I do win is not enough by far. Its not even enough to join a smaller low tier team so whatever in that regard. I wouldn't say my SC2 career is washed up, I just need to practice harder and improve my living environment, Playing less SC2 would probably actually help me improve. As my financial situation would be so much better, assuming my job lets me compete. But id have to worry about actually finding a company to actually hire me first. Which is one of my goals this year, but it was also my goal the year before and the year before that, etc.... =/
How hard have you tried? 7 years ago when I was 23, I was looking for summer work. I was well educated and had an exceptional resume for my age. I thought an easy job would be to work at a radio shack for the summer. I got walked out the back door. That hurt. But you know what? Looking for a company and a job is not a personal thing. There should be no feelings involved. It is very much like fishing. You put yourself out there to as many possible companies as you can, and see what happens. Spend 1 day researching current Resume tactics, structure, dos and don'ts. Then spend one day applying to jobs. Anything and everything. Shoot for over 100. Seriously Spend a day and aply to every single possible company you can think of. My first move into industry was applying to a job that required 5 years experience. When they asked me why I thought I was qualified I told them that my experience and grades in my mathematic course and discussions with professors vastly improved my analytical thinking when compared to my peers. That answer was total bullshit. But thats what you need to treat interviews as. It is a game, like starcraft.You are trying to win, by landing the best job possible. And you can't do it without practice. Practice writing a good resume, practice interviewing, practice marketing yourself, practice trying to apply what you know to what the job description is. It is all a game. I think moving on is the right thing for you. But you have to try a little harder than a couple rejections before giving up and coming to the conclusion that no company will hire you. I've worked for places that hire the biggest fucking morons you have ever met. So there is hope for you :-P
the sad reality, is that just because I only mention a few that I did take personally because of pride or what not, That doesnt mean I havent done that. Ive done the whole apply for 50 some jobs in a day thing, Granted it wasnt a hundred but its not like I havent tried at all. Its alot more than just a couple of rejections. Ive looked at good resumes and stuff sadly, I still struggle with that aspect as most places assume you have done something when looking at resume examples. Ive tried working self employed in their without explicitly listing gaming etc to look better on paper. But in the end it still looks like an awkward sheet of paper that follows the proper format, But there isn't any substance to it. Practice interviewing is impossible in a sense, I dont have anyone to practice with, Just like starcraft. When im trying to win and find out where I stand, Its against that Code S korean in a live and heated situation. Not a nice environment without everything on the line at the same time.
Some of the issue is that my social skills are downright terrible... I suggest going and reading that link in the blog about introversion and stuff, this conversation spilled over there into the later parts of that thread. Ill repost it here http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=389329 While this may seem like an excuse it really isnt, its more of semi disability that coupled with several other life circumstances its a very big hurdle to overcome when people just naturally dont like you.
I can practice all I want for a job, but it doesnt change the fact that it doesnt seem to change much. Especially in cases where 90% of the time the interviewer knows absolutely nothing about the job, they are just essentially a hired goon that smiles and looks nice that does professional hiring. Have I mentioned that Ive been looking for a job almost 6 years now?
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Listen, I am just trying to give you a little motivation. I read through the introvert post. I identify myself as one. I spend most of my time at home, I am a mathematician, I don't party, I have few very close friends...
Your problem right now is what to do with your life. You have to figure out a way to get done what needs to get done, whether it be your gaming career, or something else.
However according to your OP gaming is not paying off and doesn't appear to be a realistic path. And according to your response to me, finding something else doesn't appear to be realistic path.
(Introverts) think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve
You have a problem to work on. And I don't think anyone here can solve it. You need to spend some time reflecting on your options, and decide on a course of action.
But the crucial thing is that you try and actually execute. Do what you need to do. Get er done. Take care of business. etc.
I can only now offer you my encouragement to try something new, and work on your disability as you call it. Although I don't think you can call introversion a disability. Autism, Aspergers... yes, those can be debilitating.
You can be successful. Others like you have.
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On January 04 2013 03:41 Smancer wrote:Listen, I am just trying to give you a little motivation. I read through the introvert post. I identify myself as one. I spend most of my time at home, I am a mathematician, I don't party, I have few very close friends... Your problem right now is what to do with your life. You have to figure out a way to get done what needs to get done, whether it be your gaming career, or something else. However according to your OP gaming is not paying off and doesn't appear to be a realistic path. And according to your response to me, finding something else doesn't appear to be realistic path. Show nested quote + (Introverts) think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve You have a problem to work on. And I don't think anyone here can solve it. You need to spend some time reflecting on your options, and decide on a course of action. But the crucial thing is that you try and actually execute. Do what you need to do. Get er done. Take care of business. etc. I can only now offer you my encouragement to try something new, and work on your disability as you call it. Although I don't think you can call introversion a disability. Autism, Aspergers... yes, those can be debilitating. You can be successful. Others like you have.
Motivation is something I don't need, Motivation is what I have an endless supply of. Motivation, determination and dedication are my strongest strengths as a person. However when it comes to the current state of esports, those are meaningless. And in the job market place while those are very desirable to employers in the vast sea of would be employees its impossible to stand out. They cant see how hard you work in an interview, they cant see how determined or motivated you are in an interview. Those are hard to pick up and demonstrate, because they aren't tangible, they are shown over time. And time is limited in those situations. Back to esports, They are meaningless because in the current state of esports every team only cares about your "worth", even the smaller teams with practically nothing to offer and in the vast scheme of things I'm a worthless pos... That's the way it is, Motivation, determination, dedication, those three things do not sell products, They do not bring in stream viewers, and with the lack of tournaments that people care about a player has to win a major tournament to skip over those things. It doesn't matter how much small stuff you win, or crush their entire roster under career winnings combined, A player that draws in 500+ viewers is worth more than a player that crushes the hell out of said player. That's the part where esports has changed. While the business world has essentially always been this way. Which is why im viewed as worthless in both regards. That's the part I need help changing, its not the fact that I don't try or give up easily, If I gave up I wouldn't be sitting here right now.
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Sounds like you have a problem promoting yourself. I'll be honest with you man, I've being on this site, playing and watching Starcraft since 2003 (Check my profile.), granted I'm just a noob and I don't really involve myself in the community but this blog is probably the first time I ever heard of you...
I'm not saying that I know everything about the community, I don't even keep track of proleague these days but I think i'm a good benchmark of your typical casual viewer, I've seen plenty of new players coming into the scene, some of them do vblogs, stream constantly, others post consistent blogs of their results and thoughts on life etc..
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On January 04 2013 08:02 haduken wrote:
Sounds like you have a problem promoting yourself. I'll be honest with you man, I've being on this site, playing and watching Starcraft since 2003 (Check my profile.), granted I'm just a noob and I don't really involve myself in the community but this blog is probably the first time I ever heard of you...
I'm not saying that I know everything about the community, I don't even keep track of proleague these days but I think i'm a good benchmark of your typical casual viewer, I've seen plenty of new players coming into the scene, some of them do vblogs, stream constantly, others post consistent blogs of their results and thoughts on life etc..
pretty much, I said this over and over about content creation, and how im going to do more. This is just the first step. I decided to myself I would write anything and get it out there, this was the first major thing ive written on esports in the past several years and have much more planned on different topics, I do love walls of text though =P My youtube and stream are also getting revamped and im going to try to increase the activity of those by alot.
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Good read. I remember seeing you at WCG. I have to say, I haven't met a gamer who hasn't had the feeling of "wtf am I doing with my life" at one point or another. Just make sure your happy, whether it's gaming or not. Happiness is truly the key to life. Everything else is secondary.
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EPT
