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I don't know where to go from this point.

Blogs > Frostfire
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Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 01:08 GMT
#1
Big wall of text incoming. And no, the whole post is not about starcraft, just providing background, I seek advice. I'm not sure if this is the best place to post but I don't really know where else to go. WALL OF TEXT

I'm ChoiSoo on starcraft. My dream has been since I picked the game up on my 13th birthday in 2010 to become a professional gamer. I've gone from bronze to mid-masters since then. I've also attended many LANs because of starcraft, met great people, and have been introduced to the wonderful world of Korean culture and K-Pop.

When I first started playing this game in the bronze league, I rarely actually did anything at all besides fuck around in 4v4, which is basically all that happened for the first 2 seasons (also getting from bronze to gold in 1v1 due to dumb cheeses, really had no mechanics). I had no idea what an esport could possibly even be, and barely knew about BW and even popular events like MLG and stuff. I had just seen some of Husky's and HD's casts on youtube and thought "wow, that'd be really cool!".
I've posted blogs in the past on this website about becoming a pro gamer, in retrospect were really dumb because I still had no idea about the kind of commitments being something like that was. Anyway, as part of my starcraft past around 2011 Season 3 I started taking things seriously and started playing macro instead of doing dumb cheeses in the unlikely hope that I could become a strong player for North America. In 2011 Season 4, in the end of season 4 I went from gold to platinum in about a week, and then graduated from platinum to diamond within the first week of 2012 season 1. Basically, going from gold to diamond in 2 weeks.

I thought this exponential growth meant that I was someone who had great potential. This only fueled my wanting to get better, and hopefully compete at a pro level. In 2012 season 3, I finally reached masters. In this season, I met several people around my area (Jacksonville, FL) through none other than this very site, teamliquid. I attended my first barcraft, something that I didn't even know existed because I had just been laddering quietly, and hadn't even started using reddit yet. In season 4, with this new people I met on this site, I attended a LAN in Gainesville (Gatorlan, awesome tournament) and finished in the semifinals. After this event, my life as a starcraft 2 aspiring progamer truely started. I actually understood what it was like to have to put in hours to do something like this as a living, and it's not easy at all to stay motivated and such. I absolutely LOVE this game, and I love attending things like that, and I love DOING things for/with starcraft, and I LOVE being good at starcraft (kind of).

I wanted to devote as much time as I could into this game, and I have for the past month/month and a half. I attended another gatorlan since then and landed in the round before the semifinals, going home very upset because my practice hadn't shown anything.

Now I feel like I don't know what to do. Here is the other side of this story, kind of.

I'm a 15 year old boy who has friends in school, and is by far one of the most popular kids at his school because I'm a freshman who's taking mostly courses with Junior and Senior classes because, if you have read my blogs before, Kennegit basically told me to get my shit together and get my priorities straight (if you're reading this man, I thank you from my heart. I really do. I had no idea what I was doing and your comments, strangely enough, were the first time anyone had said anything like that to me). But despite going through all this, getting good grades and taking way advanced classes, and being good at this game, I have ZERO social life.

I actually don't have any social life at all. Like literally, zero. I don't hangout with people. Ever. I talk to people all the time in school, I have friends, but outside of school all I do is study/clean/starcraft/sleep. That's it. My dad is getting fed up with this kind of behavior, and I guess I kind of am too. I still really want to compete, but my practice isn't showing results like it did before, and my dream is still to go to Korea, even if I'm not in the GSL Code S finals or whatever, I really just want to be good at something enough to be one of the best, or be a Leenock or something. My entire family views this behavior as bad and my dad is constantly telling me to get out of the house, and as of recently, has actually come home crying because "his son doesn't go outside". I don't like how I am either, but I feel like dedicating myself to something like this could have huge payoffs if I stick with it. Anyway, here's my question/statement regarding what I need for advice:

Should I step back from starcraft and potentially lose my competing skill as a masters player who does well at tournaments (kind of) to try to follow his dreams and still make good grades, but just start devoting a lot more time to hanging out with people/gaining friends or:

Should I continue trying my best to follow my dreams and start going to parties occasionally as well, but still devote a ton of my time to sc?

Thanks people who decided to read this, I've been contemplating this for the past week, and really just want other people's opinions.

*
"In solitude, we are least alone"
zak_attack
Profile Joined November 2012
Wales6 Posts
December 11 2012 01:19 GMT
#2
mate life is all about finding a balace set yourself some hours off sc2 n just go out and enjoy being with friends for yourself and your dad man

a few hours a week off the computer doing other stuff will proberbly make you alot happier in yourself nt to mention your dad will be happier with you

hope this sort of helps mate
'I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.
Birdie
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
New Zealand4438 Posts
December 11 2012 01:29 GMT
#3
but I feel like dedicating myself to something like this could have huge payoffs if I stick with it.

That's a massive massive "could". Only perhaps the top 10 or 20 players in the world for SC2 get anything like "huge payoffs", although now KeSPA is in, that's maybe top 50 or more. If your goal in SC2 is to make big bucks but you're not a GM player in your spare time and not winning or doing extremely well in online tours and offline LANs and such, then it is highly unlikely that you'll ever become one of those top 50 players. Even if you do, the amount of time you can remain as one of those top players is a 5 year max, for most people.

As for your social life, real relationships with real people are much more valuable than online relationships. I'm not saying that online relationships have no value at all but you are better off putting some effort into offline relationships. They're more likely to stay with you for a long time, and are more beneficial to you. If not having friends in real life is also putting strain on your relationship with your parents, then I would definitely say cut down on your SC2 time and go "get a life" as it were. It's a sad sad thing when you see parents and children estranged from each other because of something like a game or drugs or alcohol or just arguments or what have you; do your best to keep a strong relationship with your family. Nothing should trump family in your life, except religion
Red classic | A butterfly dreamed he was Zhuangzi | 4.5k, heading to 5k as support!
FluffyBinLaden
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States527 Posts
December 11 2012 01:41 GMT
#4
You think this is a wall of text? Nope. Read the crap I write. It's... really wally.

Do whatever makes you feel the best. As long as you keep your options open school-wise, you'll have opportunities later in life. It's your call to make, and personally, I can understand it. I've been balancing a lot of things lately, and have been slacking on my social life, but I personally enjoy my direction. You may not think the same way. It's all your call.
Riddles in the Dark. Answers in the Light.
Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 02:01 GMT
#5
Birdie, it is a massive could. I've just loved this game for so long. Ever since I was 6, I loved BW, and have played zerg since then. And my goal in sc2 isn't to make big bucks, it's just to compete. When I was little, I played so many sports and just was always one of the worst ones it it, and I feel like here I can actually do something for myself with dedication. I''ve always wanted to be famous for being REALLY GOOD at something, not just being someone like Kardashians who are known for a sextape. I want to be seen as a really good player in sc2 as well, since I've loved the game since I was very little.

I play about 2-4 hours a day and could easily ramp it up to 6. I love playing this game so much, it relieves so much stress for me, and I don't really get ladder anxiety. I just want to be able to compete at something I love at a top level where people see my name and think "wow, he's good!"

Maybe this is just my young self-absorbed self talking. I don't know. I'd rather be seen as a good sc2 player than a CEO of a small company, for example, just because I adore the game. The money would just have to be livable.

Fluffy, thanks for the input. I don't feel lonely at all doing this, I just get a bit jealous when on facebook I see my friends out partying and stuff, but it's really my fault for not putting myself out there. As I said, I'm easily one of the most popular people in my school and I don't really lack self confidence. I'm not fat or particularly ugly either, I just enjoy staying by myself a lot more.

Zak, all replies are welcome, thanks for the input
"In solitude, we are least alone"
ETisME
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
12828 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-11 02:15:59
December 11 2012 02:11 GMT
#6
It's good that your parents are not completely against you playing SC2. They are merely worrying about you not going out at all.

Just make sure you aren't completely abandoning your social life, try to get your parents to understand.
I don't like hanging out with my friends too often as well as I don't feel lonely easily at all and I like my personal space.
Sometimes they go out for the sake of going out and then everyone's like "what should we do now?".
But you should still go out every once a while, just to show that you care about them and that you aren't trying to hide from them
Friends aren't hard to make around your age but you will need time to find out who is a good friend and you need to keep them.

Every cool kids will not be cool eventually, because the 'cool' part only applies when you all are a 'kid' (talking about mentality here)

You don't have to make new friends etc, but you really need to hang out every now and then.

go find a sport as well. then going out is more than just going outside, there are physical and mental benefits that you can't ignore. Health is one crucial factor in our life, something that you cannot ignore. Sport also helps with training your mind as well, you don't just improve on SC2 based upon you SC2 skill, you also need the mentality and health, reflex etc to keep up.

If you truely think you dedicate yourself into something that can have huge payoffs, then obviously you won't be playing sc2, you would be hitting books and getting ready for good grades to get into uni.
SC2 won't really give you any 'huge payoffs' unless you are extremely talented and can win BIG tournaments and join a BIG team.

I can understand your point of view though. Rather than being some CEO, I would prefer other people to view me as a person that successfully achieved my dream. But how long until you start facing new competitors, income not consistent enough to start your own family. Hours of dedication.
And there is no easy way out, SC2 requires a specific skillset and you can't just switch jobs like you would be able to if you have a good CV.
其疾如风,其徐如林,侵掠如火,不动如山,难知如阴,动如雷震。
Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 02:16 GMT
#7
Thank's ET, it means a lot. I do go out to eat after school with my group of 5 friends not including myself every thursday for about an hour and a half, it includes walking around. I'm also starting track after christmas break with my friend who has been my bestfriend since I was born. He also comes over about twice a week and we talk/workout.
"In solitude, we are least alone"
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
December 11 2012 09:31 GMT
#8
"I am by far one of the most popular kids in school", "I am a freshman who takes very advanced classes", "I have no social live". Those are just three things you wrote that caught my eye dat seemed like a bit of a paradox lol.

But I'd say fuck SC2 and enjoy life the way a kid your age should.
Tobberoth
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden6375 Posts
December 11 2012 09:40 GMT
#9
Do whatever you want, you only live once. That said, you're trading guaranteed success (social life, making more friends etc) for the miniscule odds that you will ever become good enough at SC2 to make a name for yourself. And even if you do, that's still ways away from making any money of it. There's also limited longtivity to consider, SC2 is slowly going downhill. HotS might very well rejuvenate it, but who knows how long it will last.

It's just an extremely big risk, the chance of payoff is ridiculously small. There are some situations where going "It's just a game" might be the best route.
Qumquat
Profile Joined April 2011
Israel353 Posts
December 11 2012 09:50 GMT
#10
On December 11 2012 18:31 B.I.G. wrote:
"I am by far one of the most popular kids in school", "I am a freshman who takes very advanced classes", "I have no social live". Those are just three things you wrote that caught my eye dat seemed like a bit of a paradox lol.

Yea, I was about to say that....

Frostfire, I'm a year above your age so therefor I think I can relate to you a bit. I don't play SC2 at all anymore, but I do produce music, and I spend a loooooot of my time doing it, but while doing all that I still balance my time to hang out with friends. Like, on the weekends instead for making a track/playing piano for 8 hours straight, I do it all in 4 hours (still a shitload of time) and I go socialize with my friends.

Maybe it's just me, but I think these years shouldn't be wasted. I'm just afraid that when I grow up, get a job, and raise a family I will look back at my life and say "Wow, that's a waste" and I won't get another chance at my highschool life.
That is just my opinion, but there are many different perspectives. It all comes down to what you want.

Good luck finding a balance between your gaming life and your social life, and good luck becoming a bonjwa in SC2 ^^.
Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 12:21 GMT
#11
On December 11 2012 18:31 B.I.G. wrote:
"I am by far one of the most popular kids in school", "I am a freshman who takes very advanced classes", "I have no social live". Those are just three things you wrote that caught my eye dat seemed like a bit of a paradox lol.

But I'd say fuck SC2 and enjoy life the way a kid your age should.


The no social life bit refers to me never doing thins outside of school aside from lunch with friends every thursday and a party like once a month.
"In solitude, we are least alone"
Tal
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
United Kingdom1018 Posts
December 11 2012 13:42 GMT
#12
Why don't you just do a few more social things then? A few hours a week isn't going to destroy your practice schedule, and will probably make it easier as your parents will stop hassling you.
It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
December 11 2012 13:52 GMT
#13
I'd say quit and play for fun. If playing for 1+ year relatively hardcore (5hrs+ a day) and you're only mid masters, the outlook seems grim. It honestly sounds like youre chasing a pipedream here.

Do whatever makes you happy though, but realize the choices you make in your next few years will shape your future.
Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 15:55 GMT
#14
On December 11 2012 22:52 Masq wrote:
I'd say quit and play for fun. If playing for 1+ year relatively hardcore (5hrs+ a day) and you're only mid masters, the outlook seems grim. It honestly sounds like youre chasing a pipedream here.

Do whatever makes you happy though, but realize the choices you make in your next few years will shape your future.

Ive been playing relatively hardcore2-4 hrs a day for the past 5 months, and i take 1 day a week off to clean my house. I went from gold to masters in abt the span of 4 months (not sure if thas fast) after going from gold to dia in 2 weeks. In the 4 months it took me toget to master i also went back down to plat after not touching the game for. Month bc i tarted playin wow and lol for a little while. Thanks for the input tho. Im going to devote more time (like the 1 day a week) to hanging out with friends more
"In solitude, we are least alone"
Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 15:59 GMT
#15
After reading a lot of my replies that I wrote i feel like im coming off like a show off or elitist, not sure what the right word is. Im not tryingto show off, this game just means a lot to me
"In solitude, we are least alone"
Qumquat
Profile Joined April 2011
Israel353 Posts
December 11 2012 19:29 GMT
#16
On December 12 2012 00:59 Frostfire wrote:
After reading a lot of my replies that I wrote i feel like im coming off like a show off or elitist, not sure what the right word is. Im not tryingto show off, this game just means a lot to me

Yea, the game means a lot to you right now. The question is will you still like it in the future, near or far, and how screwed over you'll feel if you stop liking the game.

Again, it's your choice. I'm just telling you what I would do in your situation.
iamho
Profile Joined June 2009
United States3347 Posts
December 11 2012 19:38 GMT
#17
Sorry, but I think you're an idiot. You're 15 years old. What are the odds that you'll become a pro? That you'll even still be playing the game in a few years? That the pro scene will even exist when you reach a high enough level? By the way, "going to parties" doesn't make you social. Making friends and not spending 10 hours a day in front of a computer would probably be a better idea.
Frostfire
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States419 Posts
December 11 2012 20:20 GMT
#18
Wasn't not being social the problem? Like you pointed out what I've already said were the issues, and then said they were issues.
"In solitude, we are least alone"
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