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No One Knows Who I Am

Blogs > Emzeeshady
Post a Reply
Emzeeshady
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
Canada4203 Posts
December 07 2012 05:09 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

**
synapse
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
China13814 Posts
December 07 2012 05:22 GMT
#2
Your friends may have come to you initially because you were an interesting person, but they stayed because of who you are, not because you once had interesting stories. You having realized your mistake in misleading your friends is a good first step. Maybe you won't find the courage to tell them the truth, but it might not matter at this point. You know what you should and shouldn't do. Maybe the best option is to do what's right from here on out and keep the past in a dark little corner.

Plus, being able to make stuff up isn't an evil skill in itself--you're able to understand how to keep someone's interest, you know what people will find funny, etc.
:)
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2781 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-07 06:20:45
December 07 2012 05:58 GMT
#3
Among men
I am a god.
Wanderer of twisting streets,
a barefoot memory.

Labyrinthine doors.
Eyes sweep these shadowed streets,
light-framed lies on every side -
Choose wisely.

I see men. I tread among them.
I whisper silently
of light-framed lies
and fall further into black.

Black is my sight. Close my eyes
and see light
of these memories men have made
I reach vainly.

Memory slips,
like grains of shadow
between my fingers fall
the light of opened doors.

Among men,
I gift the weave of creation.
Bright are my lies,
as I stand trapped
behind doors of my own making.
--
Made an edit .
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
Game
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
3191 Posts
December 07 2012 06:12 GMT
#4
On December 07 2012 14:58 Qwyn wrote:
Among men
I am a god.
Wanderer of twisting streets,
a barefoot memory.

Labyrinthine doors.
Eyes sweep these shadowed streets,
light-framed lies on every side -
Choose wisely.

I see men. I tread among them.
And so I whisper silently
of light-framed lies
and fall further into black.

Black is my sight. Close my eyes
and see light
of these memories men have made
and so I reach vainly.

Memory slips,
like grains of shadow
between my fingers fall
the light of opened doors.

Among men,
I gift the weave of creation.
Bright are my lies,
as I stand trapped
behind doors of my own making.

Bravo, bravo.
SC is like sex. You should play often, but never too hard. And you should only try hard when it matters.
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
December 07 2012 10:10 GMT
#5
It is never to late to start doing the right thing Always remember there is time for anyone to right their wrongs, it is not easy, it will not be a quick fix, bUT it is possible to do.

The first thing you need to do is to just stop lieing. If you conquer that, the rest will fall into place. If you find yourself not able to stop, seek help from a shrink to try and help you, as it seems you have indentity problem more than a power control problem to me.
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
matiK23
Profile Joined May 2011
United States963 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-07 10:40:30
December 07 2012 10:34 GMT
#6
Jesus, do you have an ounce of self confidence in you? Not only do you make up stories because you have no balls, you won't even man up and apologize for your lies because you have no balls. Sorry but you get no sympathy from me and I hope this bites you in the ass and you learn from it.
Without a paddle up shit creek.
Dienosore
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Brunei Darussalam622 Posts
December 07 2012 14:03 GMT
#7
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_Honesty

You could give this a go? I've been trying to get into it. It's not easy at first because the truth isn't always pretty. I will say, however, that I feel much better about myself and that I have a clear conscious. Also, I feel like I'm much closer to the people around me than I ever was before.
Myrtroll
Profile Joined December 2010
139 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-07 14:38:29
December 07 2012 14:37 GMT
#8
Nothing new here. To quote Dr. House: "Everybody lies"

But your friends might know more than you think. Lying on the scale you describe and not getting caught is next to impossible. That they stay with you still is a good sign. Instead of confessing, start "finding yourself" like everybody does at some point in your life. Find something you really like truthfully, and start sharing it instead of inventing lies. You might end up not having room for lies if you keep going like that, and you might even like yourself better too.
Dirkzor
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Denmark1944 Posts
December 07 2012 15:57 GMT
#9
I'm sorry but while reading I was thinking "And how does I know he isn't lying now..." =)

As Myrtroll stated your friends probably know more then you think even though you think you got all your bases covered. But they still like you.

If you really want to change talk to a professionel about changing your behavior.
"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ON TOP AGAIN???? HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS????" -Julmust (also, thats what she said)
Mataza
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Germany5364 Posts
December 07 2012 19:57 GMT
#10
I can relate to your problem. When I was younger I wasn´t a compulsive liar, but I told lies that to this day hold up.
The important question, if you ask me, is:
Do you keep lying because you fear the backlash, or do you keep lying because you inexplicably can´t stop?

If it is the former, I can tell you that people are much more likely to forgive one than I ever imagined. No one wants to suddenly lose a friend or family member. The amount of things that people can forgive to maintain the status quo is huge.
If you are anything like me, the guilt you feel about it fuels your fear. By not telling anybody you think the lies are worse than they actually are. Especially "putting up an act" is not uncommon, so to speak "wearing a mask" or false personality is actually not uncommon among "normal" people.

I hope that can help you. Sooner or later I hope you realize that this is not as dramatic as you (probably) think it is.
In case this is too much for you alone to handle, don´t shy away from asking a professional to help you. Many people do, me too.
If nobody hates you, you´re doing something wrong. However someone hating you doesn´t make you right
Flying Potato
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States77 Posts
December 07 2012 21:22 GMT
#11
Huh, I never really thought much about how I've been doing this too for many years now.... I'm not as extreme as you I think, but I often will just make up a story or highly exaggerate one to entertain others/keep a conversation going, but it's usually more subtle than what you have stated you do.

There's already some good advice present in this thread, follow it and admit your mistakes. It's easy as hell for me to say that over the computer where I have no repercussions, and habits are never easy to stop once they've entered your psyche, but if you care about your dignity and character, then don't just wait and say "I'll stop soon, i swar!" Good luck man, and thanks for allowing me to take a look at myself too.
"Tommorow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt the whole time" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
opisska
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Poland8852 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-07 22:10:14
December 07 2012 22:07 GMT
#12
I have a very similar friend. He has been working in post-qar Iraq for microsoft and spent some time in a hospital in Teheran when he fell from the stairs when changing airplanes and several years ago he wast straight out dying from a heart disease .... but he's not so good (or you are lying about how good you are ), because he has obvious flaws in the stories (like he has never any pictures from travels, has "lost" his passport uncountable times and he recently even started to look for a cardiologist from scratch, presumably because he got real trouble (or new fake ones) and denied that he ever had any problems at all).

The fun thing is that we (me and my wife) know it for many years. Every time we tried to bring it up, he would just start randomly talking about anything else, pretending we never said anything. I think he is not even really trying in front of us. But we don't really care - he is otherwise a nice and fun person and we just like him.

And it's not like he was a high-school kid. He is 30 and has a good fulltime job (or, is amazingly good at pretending so), so you can get pretty far with that The sad part is that most of his former friends left him, but he also used to be quite an asshole, so it was not only about the lying anyway.

edit: and he is married, too
"Jeez, that's far from ideal." - Serral, the king of mild trashtalk
TL+ Member
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-07 22:57:29
December 07 2012 22:50 GMT
#13
Would the real emzee shady please stand up?

+ Show Spoiler +
The 90s!


As food for thought for what you actually wrote: I think you'd be surprised how many people know you are lying. There is always one person in a group of friends that is this ridiculous compulsive liar, and when that friend isn't around everyone talks about the latest whopper he told. At least this was my experience when I was in high school. You will probably actually find a lot of success if you just stop lying, and your friends might even be impressed even if they don't say so directly to you. But people very easily get a feeling when they've been lied to, or when most of what you say can never be verified. So don't think you're that clever lol.

Also, lying about stuff like what music you like and what you did during lunch is called pointless lies. I had another friend (separate from the one I'm thinking above) that did that, and whenever he wasn't around we talk about that too lol. Cause inevitably you do slip up, but no one bothers to tell you because who cares about getting into an argument about whether or not you went to someone's house at lunch.

I think for you lying has become a compulsion, but it's not something you should make into a giant mountain. Just take one day at a time not telling lies. If someone finds out you like a different kind of music than you said you did, they're not gonna freak out. Either they already knew or they'll think you had a change of interests.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
jdseemoreglass
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States3773 Posts
December 08 2012 07:50 GMT
#14
That's funny, I usually feel that if I lied more my life would be better. Lies are like the oil which helps gears glide together. And most of the happiest people I know are the people who lie to themselves the most.
"If you want this forum to be full of half-baked philosophy discussions between pompous faggots like yourself forever, stay the course captain vanilla" - FakeSteve[TPR], 2006
nomyx
Profile Joined June 2012
United States2205 Posts
January 28 2013 08:20 GMT
#15
On December 07 2012 19:34 matiK23 wrote:
Jesus, do you have an ounce of self confidence in you? Not only do you make up stories because you have no balls, you won't even man up and apologize for your lies because you have no balls. Sorry but you get no sympathy from me and I hope this bites you in the ass and you learn from it.


I'm going to agree with this. Basically, you reap what you sow
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
January 28 2013 08:23 GMT
#16
Whoa, how did you suddenly find this thread? :O

Nonetheless, hope OP has managed to find his own way of dealing with it in a way that has changed his life for the better. Don't feel bad, and I hope you're on the path to (at least in some degree) honesty~
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
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