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It definitely sucks, but are you really surprised? It is a community of man-children. You will have to unfortunately deal with idiots all the time, and because of your gender the rumours will be more sexual in nature (it is definitely sexual harassment). If you know their boss you can get them in trouble a little, but otherwise you just need to keep your chin up and act yourself. If someone brings it up to your face, then you can give them a good yelling at.
Well, you certainly have the right to complain, and it's good to raise awareness of this in the community. If you even know their IDs, you can post them like we do with hackers. Then people can give them stink eye at every event they go to (of course someone is bound to be falsely accused, so maybe this is a shitty solution). I think if you distanced yourself a little from this issue and talked from a more objective standpoint about what is going on, rather than centralizing yourself and your friends as the victims, this might get even more attention. But as it is people are gonna talk about it as if it's only your problem and say "well that sucks!" instead of treating it like a real issue. I don't think you need to say "I make a point of not sleeping around or doing drugs" lol... if it is your personality you just don't do it, if you make a point of it, it makes it sound like its really tempting for you but you nobly don't do it... Again... Speaking in terms of if you want to raise awareness for this issue, you should write this more carefully.
glgl
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On December 05 2012 22:56 Tobberoth wrote:
This is some obvious "blaming the victim" going on. Honestly, unless you're downright retarded, how someone dresses, who they hang out with and if they drink alcohol should have no bearing. Unless you know someone sleeps around, you have no right to claim they do. It's downright lying and delusion on the part of the person making shit up.
"Man, a girl got raped in my neighbourhood yesterday."
"What! That's terrible! What were she wearing?"
"A dress."
"Oh well that says it all, she's obviously a slut and enjoyed it".
Hyperbole, yes, but the basic idea is the same.
Except for the part where I said "I'm not saying such things are justified."
I'm just pointing out how people think. A lot of people in the world will blame the victim in circumstances. There were those that blamed Mr. Bitter for being robbed, etc... People can always say how things should have been different in hindsight.
In some instances, sure, you can blame the victim. In others, you cannot reasonably blame them. And to judge this situation with this girl involved in eSports (I'm not sure what she is from, or what she does in eSports), would be silly because I know nothing of her, the situation, or the events.
All that said, all those things you mentioned, while they should "have no bearing," the sad fact is they do play a part in sizing people up, whether accurately or inaccurately. People do judge books by their covers, and do take things at face value. Where some people see a hands-on girl with a guy friend at an event as something simple and platonic, others may see as intimate affection.
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Zurich15358 Posts
Basically what you are saying is that ESPORTS events are like any other event in the world where people meet.
You really should just not care about that kind of stuff.
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Oh man "brother-zoned" is that the new meta? =P
As Chef said, if you wanted to raise awareness then you could have written this in a different way. Doesn't have to be about awareness though, if you wanted to defend yourself then that's fine.
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WTF is this post? Who the fuck cares who you are or aren't banging. Noone on TL.net that is for 100% certain. Go bang to your hearts content or don't. Either way noone ACTUALLY cares (I don't mean that in the mean way). Sorry that a few friends start roomers when you spent the night in some dudes hotel room or w/e but that shit happens outside of esports too, its just not that big of a deal. In short, go bang out with whoever you want to, keep it to yourself and ignore (or confront to them). You don't see us posting on TL cause one of our friends accused us of sleeping with someone. That's because noone would care, this applies to this post if your couldn't put that together. Close thread imo.
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I must say, I appreciate this post a lot.
Frankly, I have a whole other complicated slew of ideas to throw in with girls and gaming, super-complicated, but here's the TL;DR version: Gamers of the opposite sex. That's it. No different from us Men. Not worthy of acknowledgement, in my opinion.
Long version: This is a difficult topic to cut around in any shape or form. Simply by acknowledging that girl gamers exist sets the stage that there is something "special" about them. Like somehow they are Amazing compared to other girls. Like somehow they are more beautiful, when in reality I would rather ask 阿喜 (english name: Ash) on a date before I ever went out with morgan webb.
As said above, the fact that I mentioned females as gamers totally undermines the idea of women's rights, because in an ideal world we wouldn't need to make mention of such petty things like "OMG! It's a girl with xbox controller!" The converse argument is, "This isn't an ideal world, so we have to propagate women in gaming." Unfortunately, the latter of the two is true, in which case we still have to deal with the same juvenile scum in society that go to high schools and colleges. The psychology of some gamers is quite Freudian. One guy who used to be on skype calls all the time with Destiny and BlueTea all the time comes to mind, I won't mention his name for fear of being banned, but you all should know who he is. Another example is RatZDeezer. The main reason why he's famous is for being a Freudian douche that just likes to win games and think with his d***. That, and being bullied by Destiny as well as being a GM player. The reason why these other "juveniles" have no platform is that they have no reputations proceeding them. So, they are the lesser-heard of element of esports. The Freudian douches that run around conventions scrounging and lounging around women that are minding their own business.
I'm sorry the OP had to experience this and I apologize for the mega-rant.
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On December 05 2012 18:42 Iplaythings wrote:
You care too much about your reputation, it sounds like something similar to why pros and casters really dont post on the forums; there's too much shit everywhere.
And if it makes you feel better, it's probally all just an indication that they wish you did so, so they had a chance at you.
All in all you can sum my "advice" or "opinion" to rather than growing thicker skin, you shouldnt care that much about your reputation as long as yours friends (read: people you care about) know what is really up
This brings a good point. Some of us can't help but to care though, so how does one just switch to NOT caring?
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
^^^
Take a read at the real newspapers or magazines, look at how celeberties deal with bitchiness and rumours on a wider basis than just friends and people you can avoid in person...
Step 1;
Avoid those who "bitch"
Step 2;
Don't blog about being a victim when no one knows you are one in the first place
Step 3;
Continune to do your thing (which is bringing SC2 content from tournaments across NA)
Step 4;
Only engange with posititve comments on social media, and ignore the negativity.
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Well, this is what I mean by making it a personal issue. There are lots of obvious ways for her to deal with it on a personal level, such as just ignoring it, but that doesn't make what happens acceptable (even if it happens in many settings in many places). "Just deal with it" is a little bit backwards if you want to make a positive change in the community. She is probably not the best spokesperson for that change, but if you want more people to say "hey this is not okay" to those who love gossip and rumours then maybe it's a step in the right direction to be allowed to talk about it without people just brushing it off. Will it stop happening on sites like reddit and 4chan? Prob not. Will TL get to feel elitist about not being busybodies? Just maybe  Could you make it happen less in person? Almost definitely. The higher the social consequences, the more effective just talking about it can be.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
This has very little to do with the esports industry and just to do with groups of people congregating in general. If you look at the number of female fans in the esports space compared the the number of male fans, and then compare how many females get hired for roles, the ratios are incredibly skewed. It's pretty natural in a male dominated industry that girls get a leg up (no pun), but it also comes with it's obvious draw backs.
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Just dont start stealing guys headphones and you'll be fine.
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On December 06 2012 02:21 LuckyFool wrote:
Just dont start stealing guys headphones and you'll be fine.
Chairs are ok though
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This girl won't even dance. Move along.
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Average and sub-average looking girls in eSports get treated really really nicely.. so they go for the attention. You might not be sleeping around, but a lot of girls are.
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On December 06 2012 02:29 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On December 06 2012 02:21 LuckyFool wrote:
Just dont start stealing guys headphones and you'll be fine. Chairs are ok though
I prefer taking their bookcases.
I currently have Xeris's bookcase sitting in my living room.
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On December 06 2012 02:29 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On December 06 2012 02:21 LuckyFool wrote:
Just dont start stealing guys headphones and you'll be fine. Chairs are ok though
I had to laugh at these ^^
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On December 06 2012 03:52 PrimeTimey wrote:
Average and sub-average looking girls in eSports get treated really really nicely.. so they go for the attention. You might not be sleeping around, but a lot of girls are.
As the owner and operator of a business, how can you even say this in a public space. What would convince you that this would be a good idea to state anywhere.
Edit: I think we found one of the perpetrators of rumors.
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Why do you care? Why is it so important what other people think of you?
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What an unfortunate situation, Brandi. The one thing I've learned is to ignore the idiots and just brush it off. It's difficult but it will help keep your sanity.
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EPT
