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I have come to the end of my days wanting to be a monetary and household leech. I want to go make a buck and have a life; the problem is that I feel ill-equipped to do so. I have some work experience on my resume but unfortunately there are large gaps in times employed. I have had two jobs for about a year each. A year at a grocery store and a year at a retail store. I have spent large amounts of time unemployed, living with my parents. Now, before you point fingers, remember that I may not be as mature as most people for my age. Anyway, the time has come where I burn so deeply with love for women that I yearn to be a desirable mate and carry my weight in communities. Please read if you may be of assistance. If not, you might find some that some of the weaknesses I describe and try to counteract to make you feel stronger.
My main problem is that I am a thinker who knows enough to understand that he is quite bad for most jobs he is eligible for. I am very desperate for work but not so desperate that I can’t begin without more understanding.
My work place weaknesses are well-rounded. I learn slowly and thoroughly. This is a weakness because many of the jobs I seek are high turn over. This means companies prefer those who become effective workers quickly with little effort. I am slow to even understand what is going on. Maybe a little like Socrates in that I take less for granted? People tell me “dude, you’re over thinking it” which I recognize as good advice, but also as a failure to comprehend my disposition.
My dexterity is not an old woman’s but it’s bad. I think this goes along with my spatial working memory. I can never seem to remember where anything is in space. I tested it once at an employment centre. There is a bolt going through a hole on a this glass panel and you can hold your hands on either side of the panel to unfasten them. There were a couple pieces, you know, the washer, the nut.. You had to loosen them by twisting them and then put them back on the other way. Firstly, I had trouble processing just what they wanted me to do while others found it quite easy. Secondly I was just slow at the task. I am making improvements by concentrating on my movements and making sure to do all the simple tasks properly. On top of that I am bored easily by monotonous tasks so I stop giving effort.
My social work place skills are weak. I am emotionally honest. I do not lack courage. I am just un-enthused over the mundane (think of me as someone who would be unable to say “hurrah wal-mart” with any real lustre unless his life depended on it). Also, I don’t really understand medium distance interactions so I keep quiet in favour of making things less awkward for people. Approaching strangers is not terribly difficult for me since I do have some experience as a retail sales associate. My “neutral professional” persona is actually not so undeveloped. Still I am a little too sensitive.
Also people tend to find me “slow”. Like mid 40s people looove talking shit about me “oh this slow person. He’s a slow one. Get me someone who knows what he’s doing.” SO yeah, along with my reserved nature, I harness some anger towards people who have been fucking careless of my feelings on jobs before.
My sense of hygiene seems to miss the mark for a lot of people. I don’t find snot dripping down my face particularly disgusting. I don’t feel gross when I have dirt under my fingernails. Lately, my grooming practices are improved out of a sense of pride, but I still do not get disgusted at what I assume others understand as appropriate times? How do you even learn that?
My memory is fine, I can lift packages decently, and spending large amounts of time on my feet is no worry. The difficulty is things like stacking boxes effectively on skids. It’s not something I understand. It’s not what I’m good at. I wish I was. It must be nice to even know. And it seems the people who know how to do it are not very good teachers.
Thanks very much for reading if you did. It was nice to vent.
Discussion questions.
1. what makes a workplace enjoyable?
2. Is it really as simple as “biting the bullet” and saying “fuck it, I will just do it?”
3. Are there actually jobs I can do that make use of my skills? Like thinking and typing?
4. Can my weaknesses ever be accounted for?
5. is it my fault if I suck at a job?
6. People can see that I will not be a good employee and I don’t want to lie to them but I want work!
7. is making a good resume difficult? how long did yours take you?
Thanks in advance.
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I have seen many of your posts, you're a caring and thoughful and witty guy. Don't feel bad about yourself
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On November 21 2012 02:15 123Viril69 wrote:
I have seen many of your posts, you're a caring and thoughful and witty guy. Don't feel bad about yourself
hey thanks so much. It means a lot. maybe words like yours are all i need.  have a good one.
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1. This is very person dependent, based on what you have said about yourself and I think for most people a work environment is something you grow into. A lot of people never find the proper environment that suits themselves. I find that most corporate environments are what you shape them, to a point.
2. Everyone does this at some point, we all work a job we don't necessarily want to to get places. Think of it as a stepping stone.
3. Data Entry is a decent point to start looking, a transition into more analytic positions should you demonstrate capability to your superiors.
4. Play up your strengths: You aren't slow, you are deliberate. You learning style is best described as thorough etc etc.
5. We all suck at our jobs for a time, that being said there is a time frame in which you are expected to become proficient. Realize that not every job is for everyone (i.e. a poor typer becoming a secretary, or technologically illiterate individual getting a post in IT)
6. Shooting yourself down before trying, you won't get what you don't apply/ask for.
7. Resume should be no longer than one page. Short. Sweet. To the point. Direct your resume towards the post in question, do not make a generic form and shotgun it out, tailor it to the post you want.
EDIT: I wanted to add that some of the jobs others would look at and say, "No way," to that I have had have taught me the most about workplace skills.
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Thanks for your help ThomasjServo. A lot of helpful thought in that post. I will make use. thanks again.
Edit : in response to your edit. That's interesting. If you have the time and energy at some point I'd like to hear.
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Apologies if they come off a bit brash. The resume one is really the most important one imo.
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It sounds like from this post alone that you've have some unbelievable fundamental weaknesses that will make you hard pressed to get any job with out an unnatural amount of luck. However there's always jobs out there for anyone, though I believe your field of options is limited so you should really find what you want to do and work like a motherfucker at it - be unrelenting in your pursuit to improve at the skills for that field and sell yourself like a boss for jobs.
And yes everyone has to bite the bullet, that's life
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On November 21 2012 02:53 Divinek wrote:
It sounds like from this post alone that you've have some unbelievable fundamental weaknesses that will make you hard pressed to get any job with out an unnatural amount of luck. However there's always jobs out there for anyone, though I believe your field of options is limited so you should really find what you want to do and work like a motherfucker at it - be unrelenting in your pursuit to improve at the skills for that field and sell yourself like a boss for jobs.
And yes everyone has to bite the bullet, that's life
Thanks, it is harsh but not terrible advice. Fundamental weaknesses? unbelievable? that is something i wish you'd expanded on.
How do you know that i will have so much trouble? do you have a lot of work experience? thanks in advance.
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On November 21 2012 02:53 Divinek wrote:
It sounds like from this post alone that you've have some unbelievable fundamental weaknesses that will make you hard pressed to get any job with out an unnatural amount of luck. However there's always jobs out there for anyone, though I believe your field of options is limited so you should really find what you want to do and work like a motherfucker at it - be unrelenting in your pursuit to improve at the skills for that field and sell yourself like a boss for jobs.
And yes everyone has to bite the bullet, that's life
Hmm yes. It sounds to me like you really need to find some passion. What do you want to me spending your life's career in? You can achieve the sort of career you want if you drive towards it. So what are you interested in? What do you want to do?
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can't give you much feedback on your questions, but let me tell you one thing:
people overthinking things (and badgering others with questions way out of their depth) is impossibly frustrating for people that want to get work done, especially if you are a slow learner.
I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum: I have a natural talent for seeing patterns, and recognizing anything that is different, and I couldn't care less why these things are the way they are.
What seems to work more or less when I have to work with the 'deliberate' people:
- I have them collect their questions, we agree on a questioning time they can call upon me
- you better make sure that your questions are meaningful. If I catch you asking questions for the sake of asking 'smart' questions (the kind some teachers are impressed with), you better beware
- accept 'I will get back to you on that' as an answer
- be prepared that I will also ask you questions, and I expect you not to come back before you know the answer. If you think you _might_ have the answer and try to coax the truth out of me, I'll probably give you 6 more, difficult questions to answer to make you shut up
1) what makes a workplace enjoyable? The people there. The corporate culture. With the right boss, and the right co-workers, any job can be fun.
Are there things you understand really well? Maybe volunteer at something you kind of enjoy?
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Do you want a job, or would you rather start a career? There are plenty of jobs available, even for "slow" workers (in many jobs, this can be a benefit. No one wants a hyperactive desk worker).
Many people wont tell you this, but hygiene comes with the job. You'll want to present yourself in a more confident and approachable manner to make the day go by easier. Plus, a morning routine is necessary if you have to get up before you would naturally in order to arrange your thoughts and begin waking up. Your sense of hygiene will improve with the level of expectation of your job. I'm a slob on weekends still (would change if I had a girlfriend expecting more of me).
1. what makes a workplace enjoyable?
+ Show Spoiler +People, thinking, money. I am at least lucky enough that if I don't want to talk to anyone, I wont have to, but when I want to, I get to. Work places are social environments, and should be fun. Especially if the right attitude is applied.
2. Is it really as simple as “biting the bullet” and saying “fuck it, I will just do it?”
+ Show Spoiler +Yep, but turning into a 'working person' is a paradigm shift. It should happen organically. One day, you will be completely fed up with being broke and bored, and start applying like hell.
3. Are there actually jobs I can do that make use of my skills? Like thinking and typing?
+ Show Spoiler +You would be surprised the number of jobs there are for just your skill set. Be prepared to do some serious introspection. Typing and Thinking aren't 'skills', they are indicators of skills.
Someone who is a fast typist is usually someone with plenty on their mind who can quickly explain their thoughts in an email.
Someone who is slow is usually one who takes their time when approaching problems, and will not miss major areas because they rush through things.
4. Can my weaknesses ever be accounted for?
+ Show Spoiler +See my above answer on 'skills'. Though this is a cliche among self-help books, a weakness is really an overdone strength. If asked about your weaknesses, don't lie and say you have none, rather, express it as an overdone strength. This shows that you are confident that your weakness can be accounted for through learning, which is how you should be approaching them in the first place.
You should be familiar with the starcraft type of eliminating weaknesses in builds by now, so you probably already knew this answer.
5. is it my fault if I suck at a job?
+ Show Spoiler +Probably means you didn't find the right job or employer or workplace. It will take the stars aligning in order to get the right fit on the first try.
6. People can see that I will not be a good employee and I don’t want to lie to them but I want work!
+ Show Spoiler +Be a good employee and you wont be lying. Simple.
7. is making a good resume difficult? how long did yours take you?
+ Show Spoiler +Sadly, yes. Make sure to show your resume to as many people as possible for suggestions. Most friends and family will be happy to help with this endeavour. We have all had to go through it. The good news is that once it's done, then it's there for life. All you have to do is update it
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On November 21 2012 04:08 Rimstalker wrote:
can't give you much feedback on your questions, but let me tell you one thing:
people overthinking things (and badgering others with questions way out of their depth) is impossibly frustrating for people that want to get work done, especially if you are a slow learner.
I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum: I have a natural talent for seeing patterns, and recognizing anything that is different, and I couldn't care less why these things are the way they are.
What seems to work more or less when I have to work with the 'deliberate' people:
- I have them collect their questions, we agree on a questioning time they can call upon me
- you better make sure that your questions are meaningful. If I catch you asking questions for the sake of asking 'smart' questions (the kind some teachers are impressed with), you better beware
- accept 'I will get back to you on that' as an answer
- be prepared that I will also ask you questions, and I expect you not to come back before you know the answer. If you think you _might_ have the answer and try to coax the truth out of me, I'll probably give you 6 more, difficult questions to answer to make you shut up
1) what makes a workplace enjoyable? The people there. The corporate culture. With the right boss, and the right co-workers, any job can be fun.
Are there things you understand really well? Maybe volunteer at something you kind of enjoy?
hah, ok i get it, good workers are often independant and wish others would try and be the same. Makes perfect sense. I am definitely not trying to sound smart when i ask questions. I don't blame you for not wanting to work with my type. i don't particularly like working with yours either.
No, i'm not good at anything. Literacy and song. The arts are my strength. I'm not interested in the well-being of corporations generally. I'm sure that is a turn off for a lot of people.
Anyways, your post has been quite helpful and insightful. You have made me understand that i want to stay away from bigger companies . Oh and by the way, its not an inability to find patterns that is my weakness. It might be the opposite. thought you ought to know that. thanks again.
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On November 21 2012 04:14 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:Do you want a job, or would you rather start a career? There are plenty of jobs available, even for "slow" workers (in many jobs, this can be a benefit. No one wants a hyperactive desk worker). Many people wont tell you this, but hygiene comes with the job. You'll want to present yourself in a more confident and approachable manner to make the day go by easier. Plus, a morning routine is necessary if you have to get up before you would naturally in order to arrange your thoughts and begin waking up. Your sense of hygiene will improve with the level of expectation of your job. I'm a slob on weekends still (would change if I had a girlfriend expecting more of me). 1. what makes a workplace enjoyable? + Show Spoiler +People, thinking, money. I am at least lucky enough that if I don't want to talk to anyone, I wont have to, but when I want to, I get to. Work places are social environments, and should be fun. Especially if the right attitude is applied. 2. Is it really as simple as “biting the bullet” and saying “fuck it, I will just do it?” + Show Spoiler +Yep, but turning into a 'working person' is a paradigm shift. It should happen organically. One day, you will be completely fed up with being broke and bored, and start applying like hell. 3. Are there actually jobs I can do that make use of my skills? Like thinking and typing? + Show Spoiler +You would be surprised the number of jobs there are for just your skill set. Be prepared to do some serious introspection. Typing and Thinking aren't 'skills', they are indicators of skills.
Someone who is a fast typist is usually someone with plenty on their mind who can quickly explain their thoughts in an email.
Someone who is slow is usually one who takes their time when approaching problems, and will not miss major areas because they rush through things. 4. Can my weaknesses ever be accounted for? + Show Spoiler +See my above answer on 'skills'. Though this is a cliche among self-help books, a weakness is really an overdone strength. If asked about your weaknesses, don't lie and say you have none, rather, express it as an overdone strength. This shows that you are confident that your weakness can be accounted for through learning, which is how you should be approaching them in the first place.
You should be familiar with the starcraft type of eliminating weaknesses in builds by now, so you probably already knew this answer. 5. is it my fault if I suck at a job? + Show Spoiler +Probably means you didn't find the right job or employer or workplace. It will take the stars aligning in order to get the right fit on the first try. 6. People can see that I will not be a good employee and I don’t want to lie to them but I want work! + Show Spoiler +Be a good employee and you wont be lying. Simple. 7. is making a good resume difficult? how long did yours take you? + Show Spoiler +Sadly, yes. Make sure to show your resume to as many people as possible for suggestions. Most friends and family will be happy to help with this endeavour. We have all had to go through it. The good news is that once it's done, then it's there for life. All you have to do is update it
This is just an excellent post. THank you soo much for the time and effort. I grant you the helping hand gold star badge. You posted pretty much what i was hoping to hear.
Go TL! So yeah if you're reading this anyone, this thread has accomplished its goal.
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On November 21 2012 04:38 meteorskunk wrote:Show nested quote +On November 21 2012 04:08 Rimstalker wrote:
can't give you much feedback on your questions, but let me tell you one thing:
people overthinking things (and badgering others with questions way out of their depth) is impossibly frustrating for people that want to get work done, especially if you are a slow learner.
I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum: I have a natural talent for seeing patterns, and recognizing anything that is different, and I couldn't care less why these things are the way they are.
What seems to work more or less when I have to work with the 'deliberate' people:
- I have them collect their questions, we agree on a questioning time they can call upon me
- you better make sure that your questions are meaningful. If I catch you asking questions for the sake of asking 'smart' questions (the kind some teachers are impressed with), you better beware
- accept 'I will get back to you on that' as an answer
- be prepared that I will also ask you questions, and I expect you not to come back before you know the answer. If you think you _might_ have the answer and try to coax the truth out of me, I'll probably give you 6 more, difficult questions to answer to make you shut up
1) what makes a workplace enjoyable? The people there. The corporate culture. With the right boss, and the right co-workers, any job can be fun.
Are there things you understand really well? Maybe volunteer at something you kind of enjoy?
hah, ok i get it, good workers are often independant and wish others would try and be the same. Makes perfect sense. I am definitely not trying to sound smart when i ask questions. I don't blame you for not wanting to work with my type. i don't particularly like working with yours either. No, i'm not good at anything. Literacy and song. The arts are my strength. I'm not interested in the well-being of corporations generally. I'm sure that is a turn off for a lot of people. Anyways, your post has been quite helpful and insightful. You have made me understand that i want to stay away from bigger companies . Oh and by the way, its not an inability to find patterns that is my weakness. It might be the opposite. thought you ought to know that. thanks again.
'good workers' is very relative. For a bad manager, a 'good worker' is someone that doesn't cause any issues and works at at least 80% of the average speed. Places like that are a lot easier to find in larger corporations, though. And the average speed is quite low, actually. As long as you are computer literate, you are way faster than your average citizen that doesn't even know 'ctrl+f' (yes, I have seen people in prestigious companies scroll down through a whole text looking for one word).
To give you some idea what you can try: Check out mechanical turk, maybe you can find something there that fits your style
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Maybe get some sort of degree, assuming that you don't have one, or is that not an option anymore?
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On November 21 2012 05:01 Rimstalker wrote:Show nested quote +On November 21 2012 04:38 meteorskunk wrote:On November 21 2012 04:08 Rimstalker wrote:
can't give you much feedback on your questions, but let me tell you one thing:
people overthinking things (and badgering others with questions way out of their depth) is impossibly frustrating for people that want to get work done, especially if you are a slow learner.
I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum: I have a natural talent for seeing patterns, and recognizing anything that is different, and I couldn't care less why these things are the way they are.
What seems to work more or less when I have to work with the 'deliberate' people:
- I have them collect their questions, we agree on a questioning time they can call upon me
- you better make sure that your questions are meaningful. If I catch you asking questions for the sake of asking 'smart' questions (the kind some teachers are impressed with), you better beware
- accept 'I will get back to you on that' as an answer
- be prepared that I will also ask you questions, and I expect you not to come back before you know the answer. If you think you _might_ have the answer and try to coax the truth out of me, I'll probably give you 6 more, difficult questions to answer to make you shut up
1) what makes a workplace enjoyable? The people there. The corporate culture. With the right boss, and the right co-workers, any job can be fun.
Are there things you understand really well? Maybe volunteer at something you kind of enjoy?
hah, ok i get it, good workers are often independant and wish others would try and be the same. Makes perfect sense. I am definitely not trying to sound smart when i ask questions. I don't blame you for not wanting to work with my type. i don't particularly like working with yours either. No, i'm not good at anything. Literacy and song. The arts are my strength. I'm not interested in the well-being of corporations generally. I'm sure that is a turn off for a lot of people. Anyways, your post has been quite helpful and insightful. You have made me understand that i want to stay away from bigger companies . Oh and by the way, its not an inability to find patterns that is my weakness. It might be the opposite. thought you ought to know that. thanks again. 'good workers' is very relative. For a bad manager, a 'good worker' is someone that doesn't cause any issues and works at at least 80% of the average speed. Places like that are a lot easier to find in larger corporations, though. And the average speed is quite low, actually. As long as you are computer literate, you are way faster than your average citizen that doesn't even know 'ctrl+f' (yes, I have seen people in prestigious companies scroll down through a whole text looking for one word). To give you some idea what you can try: Check out mechanical turk, maybe you can find something there that fits your style
Yeah that's true. There are a lot of different companies out there. It feels like there are a lot of old folks out there holding on to good jobs that i'd be better at than them. Data entry jobs are not readily available in my area unfortunately. I will keep your confidence boosting thoughts in mind though . thank you edit : mechanical turk looks interesting at a glance, at least.
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On November 21 2012 05:06 Recognizable wrote:
Maybe get some sort of degree, assuming that you don't have one, or is that not an option anymore?
I don't have a degree. It costs a lot of money to go to university in Canada. And then, at least in my perception of the bachelor of arts degree, you can go to professional school and then become a teacher or you can use your degree to get slight edge over someone who lacks the degree. Pretty useless and Not really worth 5 figures of debt so far as I can see.
If I found a career with a path that requires college or university i'd embrace that whole heartedly! school is much more fun than most jobs. Most college programs are not interesting to me. You are correct though. i really ought to keep my eye on what programs schools are offering these days.
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On November 21 2012 03:57 CecilSunkure wrote:Show nested quote +On November 21 2012 02:53 Divinek wrote:
It sounds like from this post alone that you've have some unbelievable fundamental weaknesses that will make you hard pressed to get any job with out an unnatural amount of luck. However there's always jobs out there for anyone, though I believe your field of options is limited so you should really find what you want to do and work like a motherfucker at it - be unrelenting in your pursuit to improve at the skills for that field and sell yourself like a boss for jobs.
And yes everyone has to bite the bullet, that's life Hmm yes. It sounds to me like you really need to find some passion. What do you want to me spending your life's career in? You can achieve the sort of career you want if you drive towards it. So what are you interested in? What do you want to do?
Sorry, i didn't reply to this post earlier. I actually like it. I could see myself teaching some arts class... one day.. I could see myself doing a lot of things. The only thing is that I just cannot bring myself to work in places that make my soul feel sad.
I'm not worried about a career right now, but i'm more worried about my ability to .. manage time, be responsible, take care of a living place. That is the priority over a great job.
For my passion, i love playing songs, listening to music, playing around with language. I learn french in my spare time. So you see, I do have interests, i just have come to accept that they are only very loosely related to what happens in the work place.
I don't have the talent to be a musician, i don't speak french fluently yet, and i don't have the talent or experience to be a writer. All my ideal careers require me to be able to make some money to spend some time away from my parents on my own. thats what i really need. out of the house. Thanks for teh questions and the thoughts.
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Sucks that getting an education is so expensive :\
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EPT
