EPT
. To give you the weekly dose of my blogs, I wanted to talk about a feeling I've had for a little while now. Idk why, but recently I've had this feeling of total isolation from just about everything, so I felt like this would be a fun blog to reminisce about me being terrible about picking up hints*.*Warning, this blog does contain bragging, I'm sorry about that, I'm going to counterbalance that with calling myself an idiot also, but I can't write a blog like this without some bragging. Sorry
Take the FUCKING hint
The throws. That is the only way I can describe my life before 18 when it came to taking hints. The sad part is that if I were to describe it any other way, I'd be a liar. This blog is expressely for making fun of myself for you guys, at my expense, because I think I need to do that a little right now
. I've been so serious in the last month that I think now would be a good time to do something like this 
.I'm gonna go in order of all the fails with girls I have had that are hilarious. There will be more to come, I promise, as I will probably have some other awkward times later in life, but these are a good accumulation of my past 6 years. I'm going to go in semi- chronological order, not order of funniest, since I don't know which ones you guys will like the most.
![[image loading]](http://0-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/tg/image/1340/32/1340327836548.jpg)
Yep, this bird knows it too
beforeThe Awkward teens
The first story started in 7th grade. I was at a small Jewish School, and there was a girl there who liked me. We shall call her A, because thats about as far from her name as I can get LOL. Anyways, there had been girls at the school that had crushes on me. I never dated any of them. From about 6th grade there was a girl who moved to Israel who used to bully me, she actually liked me apparently. Go figure. She was the first, and then A here was the second. The sad part was that she had liked me for a long time, but me being a terrible Jew and pretty much having my family be denounced constantly for not being religious enough had to be the one the head religious figure's daughter liked. Of course, this happened in the 7th grade so not only was I awkward, I was both awlward and I had no concept of what a not so subtle hint is. So one day this girl gets the kahones up to ask me out on a date, very bluntly in fact. She literally said, "I think we should go out." It took every strand of strength, mettle, and courage to do so. My response was an aloof, "Nah I don't think so," without giving it a second thought. I had actually spaced out while she was talking to me, so I just kind of blank stated it. Pretty sad, yo.
![[image loading]](http://www.easymemes.com/uploads/memes/16220_hsSqt4VeQxZPvDq.jpg)
replace baseball game with dating, and you got it
duringThe Awkward teens
This would make up the bulk of this blog, The number of girls this happened to is ridiculous. This happened to 4 different girls, in 4 years, except they all overlap. I'll start with 9th grade. Nothing happened in 9th grade I was fuggly. I was the fucking fuggly duckling. Thus we conclude 9th grade. 10th grade was a different story. There were several girls that were into me, but I, being a complete fucking retard, never got it. The first was a girl who was really sweet, but I was always chasing someone else. The first one wanted to dance with me, but ended up getting stuck with the ugliest guy in the room. Go figure. She then wanted to sit with me on a bench, and instead of being a nice guy and realizing that she wanted to sit with me, I said nah I'm good and she had to sit on the ground. NORMALLY I'M NICER THAN THAT I PROMISE. I wasn't thinking at all, it wasn't until an elderly lady asked me where my manners were that I realized that. Later there was this much larger girl, not exactly in my range of what I would go after - who continues to hit on me now even though I have a girlfriend who I love very much, which annoys me - who let me sit on her lap, which is pretty benign but hey, little 10th graders here that are innocent and shit. I eventually stopped talking to that girl, but she kept talking to me, go figure ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
Next girl is actually several, though, being the thick-headed dumbass that I was/am, I never really got confimation if the girls liked me. There were 2 girls, 1 was a tall white girl (me being a short guy who is shorter than the white girl) and an indian girl (also taller than me) who were hitting on me pretty obviously. They were flirting pretty hard, but me being an idiot, didn't do anything about it. Yep, thats chance number 1019313x10^10298310381093 gone, bam, dead.
The next girl was an asian girl who very nice, a very pretty girl, she wasn't like the HOT, SEXY, wearing nothing at alll; she was more the girl that you would want to take home to your parents and know they would say, "Great job son," if you know what I mean. I used to grind with her at dances, but of course being younger than her, and kind of pushed into the situation I really didn't know how to capitalize on it. She would get into it, and get in close ,and get in on me, touching, and then.... yep you guessed it, I walked away. NICE JOB DUDE, YOU LADY KILLER YOU. That's not even an actual hyperbole, one time I literally went from grinding to sitting down right at the end of the song. Not even because every girl seems to hate it when a guy gets a boner when grinding (which btw makes 0 sense).
The final girl from this time isn't my first gf since apparently I didn't want to go derpmode in that case, but another girl much like the first I mentioned, happened to be at a conference with me. This girl was a redhead, and I'm not normally one to be with fire-heads, but this ginger girl was hitting on me. How of course did I reciprocate this quite, redhead's giggling at me? Nope, nada, niet, you've probably guessed that much by now. Seriously, this girl was quiet and nice and instead of kissing her or anything, I chose to do absolutely fucking nothing.
![[image loading]](http://saltlakerunningco.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/bellyflop.jpg)
Belly flopping my way through the pool that is girls
semi-afterThe Awkward teens
This story ends with the next 3 girls. The first girl is a girl that my cousin used to be friends with. She is an alaskan native girl (yeah I hit all the races lol), and got the skype curse, I'll probably explain that in another blog, it's a weird trait that I have that no one else I know has. Anyways, this girl skypes with my cousin and I 1 frieking time and she starts flirting with me. She fell for me, idk why, but she did and eventually it got so ridiculous with this girl that she didn't want to see me when I came to her home town because she was too "afraid." What did I do with this lovely damsel who obviously wanted some of me? Nothing, well not quite. It was in fact worse than that, I asked if she would be my pillow so I could lay on her. I didn't hook up with her, I didn't do anything, it was fucking sad. Later on this girl found out that I later got a gf and hated her cuz she still liked me. Pretty sad shit.
The 2nds girl was a very, very... umm, yeah no way to describe this. There was a girl in the same city, actually several, all of which had a crush on me when I came to the city. Idk why, but all of them got crushes on me, and not even realizing it, I didn't capitalize on it AT ALL. It was pretty sad, but hey you can't get with all of the girls all at once... except when you are me and you have the chance but are really fucking stupid.
The final girl is my girlfriend now, but I think I'll save that story for another time since that is an entirely new blog. However, a quick representation of that girl would be summarized in,
- See girl obviously hits on me
- See girl obviously wants to be with me
- Ignore first 2 points and not ask girl out
- See girl stops hitting on you
- Re-hit on girl
- Wait a month
- Ask her out
- ???
- Profit from failing
![[image loading]](http://nexgadget.com/images/Sometimes-Less-Is-More-Dating_Itorn_0.jpg)
Yep, me in a nutshell
In closing, man i'm lucky to actually have a girlfriend, to end it on a happy note for me, my gf is the sweetest most amazing girl I've been lucky enough to date. Thanks for reading guys, don't get discouraged in finding girls, I found one, and I suck.
