EPTBack Story
My name is Jonathan (knightwulf) I received a brain injury in fall 2010 and have been struggling to cope with the new side effects since then. I was hit in the front and back of the head while playing university football. I had severe amnesia of the past 3 years and could no longer remember why I was in Toronto. I also forgot everything about my first 2 years of university. I would wake up and freak out because I did not know who's room I was in (mine). The amnesia subsided and most memories became accessible again but I had other symptoms. I refused to get help because I did not want to acknowledge that I would no longer be able to play football or be my old-self again. I failed out of school and was very depressed for a year or two. This fall (2012) I wanted to graduate. I went searching for the necessary help.
The Help
I went to a Counselling and psychological service for students of U of Toronto in late July 2012. There I was set up with a therapist specializing in brain injuries. From there the recovery started. I had to get a starting point. So we Ordered an MRI and I was refereed to my Old Teams Dr who is the leading sports medicine Dr in Toronto who also works with the NBA/Raptors. There I learned that my brain has been damaged and centers of my brain have started to die do to unuse. I would try to use them (say memory) and then forget something and get frustrated and give up, leading to the fact that my brain was damaged and not being stimulated properly anymore. My brain had shrunk 20%. The message I got from the Dr was very very discouraging. He mentioned all the things I would be unable to do. Mostly I would never be able to think the same way again, or be that guy I was. He set me up a learning strategist, a technological assistant, a accessibility helper. These are the people who have been helping me learn how to learn again.
StarCraft2 ??
To start learning again we had to find a starting point. Something that is challenging but not overwhelming, enjoyable, and constructive. I mentioned how Sc2 was very challenging and provides a physically safe environment of competition. It started with my therapist he loved the idea of seeing how much of this game I could learn. I told my dr and he liked the idea of multitask and reaction time testing. Everyone seemed onboard that this was a great place to start to see if I can learn or retrain my brain. Thus, I was under the 'Dr's orders' to play video games. I really enjoy playing Starcraft 2. It is a very fun community and very positive place (Aside from occasional rage). I wanted to stream to say 'I am committed to recovery'. I then opened up to reddit and Team Liquid after trying to play on my own. The response I revived was unwarranted and extremely helpful. I got dozens of messages from people who wanted to help or hear more about my story. Telling my story helped me accept that this injury occurred. Hearing positive message helped me keep playing after 'bad days' (having my injury interfere with something i used to love ie losing my car keys for weeks because i forgot where they were) and trying to learn. Your support was like putting me (nsfw) on your back and carrying me into positive yards. I am very grateful to the support and I can say it helped bounds to my recovery.
Other help
Meanwhile this fall I have been going to school as my primary task. My goal is to graduate the university of Toronto in a BAsc of Kinesiology. I tried doing 5 courses, everyone advised against this. I needed to find the appropriate balance of school and learning. I got lots of support and help from the BPHE program office and from my professors. They understood and helped find ways to help me achieve success. The biggest thing was letting me rewieght the courses. Letting more of my grade be later in the year. As to hope that There was some recovery. I have had to drop down to 2 courses as I find this is the most manageable load for me. Balancing School and Sc2 has not been a problem. School comes first, Sc2 helps me learn, But I have to be able to learn school stuffs first. So in short: ??(life career)?? -> school -> learning -> ways to learns = (SC2!!!!!). I have been seeing my therapist weekly, Dr/monthly, learning strategist/weekly. These are the other support systems in place to help me learn.
What now? UPDATE !
Yesterday I got results back from a recent MRI. My brain has returned to full size. The areas of my brain that were damaged appear on an MRI to be normal. This is extreme positive results. This means that the steps I have been taking are working. The Dr was very open that the brain is a very unknown/ unprecedented organ. My injury is hard to predict outcome and recovery because not much is known. So the big news is that Atrophying has not only stopped but my brain has recovered old centers. This news does come with a large sad truth. Most of my side effects are still present. I asked why does my brain look healthy when I can only concentrate for 3-4hours a day? why cant I remember last week? He said that most damages wouldn't show up on an MRI. These are his theories of my current struggles:
1. + Show Spoiler +
These are chronic conditions that most likely will always be present, but the extent can be lessened or coping strategies can be found.
2.+ Show Spoiler +
The Neural Axons may have disconnected in my brain preventing the information to be sent. This would explain the cognitive confusion I get. This he said would not recover but new pathways could be found
3.+ Show Spoiler +
My hippocampus (memory center) could be damaged in transferring short term to long term memory. Making my working memory problematic. This would explain why I can not remember last week . I think this could be extended but mostly will be permanent. I have put some daily reminders in my phone to keep up with tasks and friends/family names. (i have no idea what makes things stick in my memory but weird things do. Ie, A man's car and license plate but not the man. It could be from my preivous photographic memory I have no IDea.)
4.+ Show Spoiler +
I get extreme mental/cognitive fatigue. This may be because the mitochondria in my brain may have been damaged. They are the ATP production centers in the body. This is where we can energy from. So its not my fuel( food ) but the amount of food I can utilize. I gather that I have `4 hours a day of concentration before i burn out. assuming that before i had 16hours I am at 25% mictocondrial efficiency. This would be able to improve. Micocondria grow and expand to the demand put on them. This is awesome except that if I get to the point where I get tired I have gone too far. Rest is where growth happens and if everyday i burn out when can I grow? This is my current task to find my limit and stay within it.
I am trying to get to see an occupation therapist to help work through and find the tasks I can and cannot do. I would also Like them to help guide what Career can I do now.
Final
I wrote this to thank and update the StarCraft community. You have helped be a positive role in my recovery. I will be playing in CSL for UofT and I am extremely excited about it. Feel fee to message me with questions I will try to answer them as best I can. Another Time i want to help teach some cool life tricks that helped. I am not sure where to post these yet.
Thank you for reading.
Sincerely,
Jonathan, Knightwulf.221 Contacts:
http://www.twitch.tv/knightwulf35
https://twitter.com/JonathanCW35
http://www.reddit.com/r/starcraft/comments/12z2ir/using_sc2_other_helps_atrophying_in_my_brain_has/
TL:DR I have started to show positive recovery from a brain injury. Thank you for the support
Edit:
Disclaimer: Please understand I am writing this from my perspective, these facts are as true as I know them. There is most likely inconsistency because I have an unreliable memory.
(i thought it was funny)
