EPT
Road to Getting Laid - Part 2
| Blogs > acgFork |
|
acgFork
Canada397 Posts
| ||
|
smOOthMayDie
United States997 Posts
| ||
|
Ahzz
Finland780 Posts
I like your honest and sincere way of writing, but really if what you write is even vaguely true you literally don't have a chance with this girl for a while. Girls want to act nice so they don't tell it straight up, but it's obvious she has zero interest in you, and is practically avoiding you. If she had interest you, or thought along the lines of 'I like him but he's just shy....' she would still actively try to talk to you, respond to you, hang out with you. She doesn't, she's avoiding you. If you want to know what I think you absolutely should do to redeem some part of yourself at least, it's to forget your attraction to this girl. The next time you have a time to talk to her alone, just say that you know you've been acting weird, that you apologise and that you'll respect her and give her space. You don't have to sound like a boss while you do it, stutter all you want, just be sincere with your words and I guarantee you that she will respect you way more for it. If you guys really were friends, she'll be glad that the awkwardness is gone, and she'll probably forgive you over time. You may have a chance with her later, but right now you must give her space and grow up as a person before you attempt with her again, no matter how harsh that may sound. Sure, she 'may be the love of your life', but honestly all crushes are like that. If you accept that you cannot date her now and give her space, you'll notice that you can move on over time with relative ease. Also, I know that getting laid feels like a big thing to you, and something you absolutely want to experience because everyone talks about it. In all honesty, you shouldn't be bothering with that. What you should be concerned with is 'how can _I_ improve as a person, how can I be a stronger, more confident person around EVERYONE. A stronger, more charismatic version of myself without acting something I'm not.' You will notice that if you strive to improve in these things without bothering so much about getting laid or dating hottest chicks in school, you will have a better time, get more friends, and overall enjoy life more as a whole. Because you're striving to be a better, stronger version of YOURSELF without trying to act something you are not, you will notice that you can eventually act and talk very casually to any girls and draw their attention naturally because of who you are. You will grow immensely as a person, and with that you get not only laid, but also a lot of male AND female friends. Don't just categorize everyone to 'do I want to sleep with her?'. Talk to everyone, be concerned about them for more than dating them. I know that this may sound quite abstract to you, and as something 'easier said than done', but really, nobody should expect to turn into a player overnight, or be a loser one day, and a total baller the next. It doesn't happen. It happens over months and years that you look to improve on aspects you lack that you become a confident, sexy person. I may sound harsh with this, but this I feel, is what you should be concerned about. Oh, and because I know, and everyone else here knows too from personal experience, forgetting about your crush wont be easy, but honestly, just forget about her. Believe me when I say that you lost your chance FOR NOW. If you turn into a total boss overnight, then yeah you could redeem yourself, but let's be real here, like I said, it won't happen overnight. Move on, grow as a person, and if she sees that you're really awesome at some point, you may have a chance with her again. For now though, Apologise and move on. You will at least save your face and a valuable friendship. | ||
|
Incognoto
France10239 Posts
first of all you're over analyzing everything way too hard. you're making it hard on yourself for no reason other than really wanting to have a girl. you shouldn't be thinking so hard about shit. you shouldn't even care about her. i may be wrong, but i'm probably not. you don't want to date this girl, you just want a girlfriend. you don't ask a girl out like a job offer either. i'm over-simplifying this to a disgusting degree but whatever. you don't just ask a girl "hey wanna fuck?". first you establish a basic friendship. then you share common activities. idk go have lunch some place with common friends or some shit, go see a movie as friends, play video games fuck idk lol. solidify your bond and then start flirting with her casually. make her understand that though she's a friend of yours, you find her attractive. you have to find a certain harmony or some shit. you should be able to call her someone immensely offensive and have her laugh at it. holy shit am i oversimplifying this, i hope you get the general gist of what i'm saying it's also important to NOT be clingy. just don't care about the girl. you're constantly waiting to see what this girl is going to say to you. just don't care. don't be afraid to ignore her for no reason because nothing turns a girl on more than being ignored. you don't have to be dick about it, just don't say hi in hallways (unless she specifically says hi first), don't text back or something. if you're having a conversation, just find a way to excuse herself. "well nice talking to you, but i have to take care of my grandmother's cat's bath". the girl will be like wow that guy's grandmother's cat is more important to him than i am. wtf i'm jealous how can that cat be cooler than me? which will indirectly lead her to try to get your attention. tl;dr just don't give a fuck first be friends then good friends then flirt then couple just don't give a fuck pay attention to yourself | ||
|
zalz
Netherlands3704 Posts
People should be honest about their intentions. Don't befriend people who's only interest you have in them is romantic. Don't give me that white-knight "I love her for her person" nonesense, everyone knows when you want someone as a friend, and when you want someone as a romantic partner, neither excludes being interested in a person's person. The truth is, this girl isn't going to go for you. First you might have appeared to her as friend, now you appear to her as a creep. You aren't going to get a chance to redeem yourself. Distance yourself from her, try to make new friends and see if there are any other girls that you feel attracted to. Don't try to be their best friend, be nice, in the way you would be to a romantic partner, not your next door neighbour at a BBQ. Maybe if you distance yourself from this girl, you give time to let your reputation recover, and when next you meet, she might think very differently of you. Trying to build bridges isn't getting you anywhere, you just seem like a bigger creep for trying to befriend her again, whilst she knows exactly what you want. Dishonesty isn't a turn on for anyone. There are no tricks. You can't get with every girl in the world. You screwed it up, the gates are closed. Move on to the next castle. | ||
|
Smoot
United States128 Posts
The best thing you can do is hook up with a loose girl and get rid of your anxiety. Well, correction, the best thing you can do, is realize that a real relationship isn't about sex. But seriously, just hook up with a girl that knows exactly what your intentions are, and she has the same intentions as you. After you realize that it isn't all that it is cracked up to be, then you can start working on a real relationship with someone. | ||
|
acgFork
Canada397 Posts
| ||
|
xedric
United States3 Posts
On October 04 2012 06:10 acgFork wrote: Here's Part 1: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=372450 Hey guys, Everything that could have possibly went wrong, went wrong. In the text I sent her about how I respect her stance, I also told her that I was making pita chips at work at that moment. So, when I ended my last blog post, she hadn't replied to that. She has now though. Went a little something like this: "Thanks for respecting my stance. Pita chips are good." That was it. So, I could see that she didn't really want to talk or anything, but I told myself, I'll just talk to her on Monday and it'll be okay. It turned out that it wasn't okay. Monday, Tuesday and today, she's been looking really kinda expressionless at school. In each class, she's just grey. Between classes today (wednesday), we were at our lockers and I said "So you like pita chips?".. I don't know what I was saying, it just came out and I felt like talking to her so I said that. Now that I think of it, I should've said something like "We should really talk. Want to get coffee?". It could've been that simple, but I shit myself. First time I ask, she didn't hear/listen, so I say her name and get her attention, she looks at me emotionless. I ask again, smiling, and she replies with: "Uhhh... yeah, I guess.." I had no idea how to respond to this, so I just walked away. I felt like a retard. I had it all planned out, but I just couldn't execute. My chances with this girl, that I've like for over 2 years, are probably floating around 0.01 and 0.02% right now. | ||
|
meteorskunk
Canada546 Posts
OP to use the card game analogy, you had a bad hand and you played it wrong too.Its a hard truth but it will grow your soul to realize that other people have needs and desires that sometimes you just cannot satisfy. The best thing you can do (if you're me) is to read an incredibly uplifting book, smoke some weed with friends and lastly enjoy the role of the white knight. "I respect all creatures of the earth...i tried to fly south to your heat.. but now think of me .. as a wild duck flying backward." <--me trying to rip off my favourite writer. In other words, i think you need to relish the role of good guy greg and seriously FUCK OFF. she will say that eventually if you keep thinking you can fix things. You might be able to be her friend but probably not. give her space..give yourself space.. stay away.. then you'll get laid. also it helps to kind of "get above" someone. Like if she is shallow... realize she is still just an average victim of the hollywood culture | ||
|
QuanticHawk
United States32051 Posts
and watch the panties drop seal gets bitches yo | ||
|
ROOTIllusion
United States1060 Posts
On October 04 2012 22:53 QuanticHawk wrote: practice until you got this down http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ateQQc-AgEM and watch the panties drop seal gets bitches yo this guy knows the answer to life too | ||
|
SilverWolfe
Canada173 Posts
I don't mean to burst your bubble but it's in your best interest to find a new girl to chase after. I've seen a lot of guys get depressed after some girl who they have been into for months/years doesn't show interest, and it doesn't make sense. There's a whole world of women out there, just because one doesn't like you doesn't mean it's hopeless. | ||
|
Blisse
Canada3710 Posts
She doesn't like you in the same way you like her, and it's already really debatable whether you actually like her or you just find her hot or you just want a girlfriend. If her initial stance is already 'eh, not really interested', there was never a chance, especially after 2 years of nothing. It's not going to become something overnight unless one of you two have some ridiculous transformation. Being at 0.01% is generous. 0% is realistic. Next, you never confess your insecurities, ever, if you want to not ruin a chance with a new girl. Sure, you will have some really good girl friends who you can talk to about pretty bad shit going on in your life, but that's why they're friends. Do you know how attractive you look the second you start being needy, or start being insecure? Man up. And she's not being emotionless, she's avoiding you. You don't talk to someone normally when they confess their feelings for you when you have no interest in being with them since you thought you were just a friend the whole time. It makes the entire friendship seem like a lie. Give her some space. Apologize, then pick yourself up and move on. You're only in high school, focus on improving yourself please, instead of getting laid. Listen to Ahzz. | ||
|
beachbeachy
United States509 Posts
On October 04 2012 07:19 Incognoto wrote: lol first of all you're over analyzing everything way too hard. you're making it hard on yourself for no reason other than really wanting to have a girl. you shouldn't be thinking so hard about shit. you shouldn't even care about her. i may be wrong, but i'm probably not. you don't want to date this girl, you just want a girlfriend. you don't ask a girl out like a job offer either. i'm over-simplifying this to a disgusting degree but whatever. you don't just ask a girl "hey wanna fuck?". first you establish a basic friendship. then you share common activities. idk go have lunch some place with common friends or some shit, go see a movie as friends, play video games fuck idk lol. solidify your bond and then start flirting with her casually. make her understand that though she's a friend of yours, you find her attractive. you have to find a certain harmony or some shit. you should be able to call her someone immensely offensive and have her laugh at it. holy shit am i oversimplifying this, i hope you get the general gist of what i'm saying it's also important to NOT be clingy. just don't care about the girl. you're constantly waiting to see what this girl is going to say to you. just don't care. don't be afraid to ignore her for no reason because nothing turns a girl on more than being ignored. you don't have to be dick about it, just don't say hi in hallways (unless she specifically says hi first), don't text back or something. if you're having a conversation, just find a way to excuse herself. "well nice talking to you, but i have to take care of my grandmother's cat's bath". the girl will be like wow that guy's grandmother's cat is more important to him than i am. wtf i'm jealous how can that cat be cooler than me? which will indirectly lead her to try to get your attention. tl;dr just don't give a fuck first be friends then good friends then flirt then couple just don't give a fuck pay attention to yourself There's two extremes of behavior that lots of men use when it comes to women. On one hand, they choose to act egotistical and emotionally unavailable, or the asshole - which only attracts other emotionally unavailable and insecure girls. And on the other hand, you have the suck up or the nice guy, who caters to every need the woman has, and ends up getting friend zoned or whatever you want to call it. Both of these behaviors just scream insecurity. Treating a girl differently because you want to fuck her just shows that you don't have the self confidence to get her with who you really are. It's not easy, but try being yourself AROUND EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES (someone touched on that in an earlier post). Work on being confident, and just work on yourself. Just by helping yourself and becoming a better person, you will attract people like a magnet without even having the intentions (like you do now). Like I said, it's not easy and everyone is insecure or secure to a greater or lesser extent. What's important is that you fake it till you make it; set some personal goals for yourself and how you can accomplish them, and then set out with swift action. | ||
|
Incognoto
France10239 Posts
| ||
| ||
