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I regained almost half of the kilograms I lost back. I feel like shit for long time. I tried to do something in summer but it kind of failed, but looking at the mirror I really really feel like I should be doing something.
I weighed 123 kilos, I went down to 88 about one and a half years ago, and now I am 102. I am dangerously close to where I was. Part of the reason was depression, overconfidence in myself, alcohol and the routine which worked so well getting disrupted.
What I basically did was:
1) Get away with sugars/baked stuff as much as possible.
2) Drink lots of water every day. (2 liters at least)
3) Meat/Fish/Chicken+Salad in the lunch, primarily vegetables(usually only, things like spinach and lots of other vegetables that I don't know the english name of) at dinner. Cheese/Egg+Tomatoes etc. in the breakfast. I also took my carbohydrate through thin slices of bread, usually 3-4 in breakfast, 1-2 in lunch and 1-2 in the dinner. Again I did these because my dietician told me so.
4) If possible, at least 3 times a week, simple cardio. I basically walked on treadmill for an hour with pretty much nothing else.
5) Frequent meals, fruits in between the main meals, approx 6-7 meals a day.
So I pretty much know what to do already because I spent so much time and effort on this.
However, there are some doubts in my mind:
When I lost weight, I did it in a very controlled manner with the support of a very good dietician and pretty much hitting the same exact routine for two years. The thing is, life sucks and after those two years my routine changed due to my courses taking a longer time to finish, so I came back home at late evening instead of late afternoon, spent more than an hour in traffic and basically mentally done for anything but resting or just maybe sleeping. When I continously lost weight, I hit the same exact routine for two damn years. When the routine broke, along with some personal issues and depression, I turned to food, feeling overconfident, and that brought me here. I do not want to go back to my very overweight version again, I did a huge job, great job on this before, and I failed to keep up, but there's still way to go before it's completely lost. I'm trying to find motivation for it right now.
Other issues are, my dietician has left the practice and is now a professor in a university, so I can't exactly go ask again for help (though I can surely call her and I'm sure she would help me, she would in no way reject me in giving advice etc.)
The next month I am starting a job and I am pretty much sure I won't again find the time (at least not in the manner I was successful at this before) to exercise. I will and have to do it when I can ofcourse, if I want this to work.
I keep thinking about what I accomplished and how much I fucked up, myself, and it leads me more to just longing for past and feeling downright terrible, shitty, guilty, and desperate about the situation I am finding myself in right now. So this sort of cuts my motivation a lot. I don't know why I am writing this here, but hopefully someone can maybe ease some of my doubts and give me some motivation.
 
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GRAND OLD AMERICA16375 Posts
Have you ever heard of Keto diet?
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On September 18 2012 04:40 amazingxkcd wrote:
Have you ever heard of Keto diet?
Nope, I haven't care to eleborate? Judging by the name of it I would assume it's about consuming primarily only proteins?
I asked my dietician that and she said in the short term it would work well to lose weight, but in the long term it would put extra work on the kidneys and may cause kidney problems.
Also, bread is part of the main diet in Turkey so that is why it was not eliminated completely in my diet, for those wondering.
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Don't diet (well, do diet, but don't be too stringent about it). What really matters above all else is consistency. If you want to keep your weight down, you need to find an eating/exercise routine that you're willing to do month after month, year after year, dietician or no dietician. If you've been seeing a dietician for two years, it's clearly not because he or she has two years' worth of eating advice to teach you, it's mostly for moral support. That means you've been on a routine that's too stressful for you and the dietician is the only thing that's keeping you from quitting.
Just eat a bit more, exercise a bit less, as long as you're willing to commit to something every single day/week.
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GRAND OLD AMERICA16375 Posts
On September 18 2012 04:44 Bleak wrote:Show nested quote +On September 18 2012 04:40 amazingxkcd wrote:
Have you ever heard of Keto diet? Nope, I haven't care to eleborate? Judging by the name of it I would assume it's about consuming primarily only proteins? I asked my dietician that and she said in the short term it would work well to lose weight, but in the long term it would put extra work on the kidneys and may cause kidney problems.
Keto is the process of converting your body into a state of ketosis for when your body uses its own fat cells to produce glucose for energy. What this mean is that you eat a high fat/ NO CARBS diet with your proteins and fiber in there. Here is a more detailed link concerning keto: Overview of Keto Diet, Keto FAQ
This concept really confuses people because of the fact that they believe in outdated science that carbs are good for you and fat is bad for you.
I have been on this diet and have lost 40lbs in 2 months so far, I got rid of my high cholesteral, and I'm feeling better than before. And there is no way that I am going back. I wouldn't consider this a diet, but more of a lifestyle change.
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perfect example of why diets will never work in the long run.
eat whatever you need and want to be happy.
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On September 18 2012 04:57 amazingxkcd wrote:Show nested quote +On September 18 2012 04:44 Bleak wrote:On September 18 2012 04:40 amazingxkcd wrote:
Have you ever heard of Keto diet? Nope, I haven't care to eleborate? Judging by the name of it I would assume it's about consuming primarily only proteins? I asked my dietician that and she said in the short term it would work well to lose weight, but in the long term it would put extra work on the kidneys and may cause kidney problems. Keto is the process of converting your body into a state of ketosis for when your body uses its own fat cells to produce glucose for energy. What this mean is that you eat a high fat/ NO CARBS diet with your proteins and fiber in there. Here is a more detailed link concerning keto: Overview of Keto Diet, Keto FAQThis concept really confuses people because of the fact that they believe in outdated science that carbs are good for you and fat is bad for you. I have been on this diet and have lost 40lbs in 2 months so far, I got rid of my high cholesteral, and I'm feeling better than before. And there is no way that I am going back. I wouldn't consider this a diet, but more of a lifestyle change.
I did some more research and apparently it's mainly used for some form of epilepsy treatment in children, where diet of this sort can prevent epilepsy attacks.
Apparently 40lbs is about 16-17 kilograms (correct me if I'm wrong, we use metric system so lbs etc. I don't know much about) and I don't know but it seems that amount of weight loss just in 2 months sounds a little bit too much. I think I read somewhere that losing weight too fast would reduce the thyroid hormone production which would slow your metabolism down. Most of the weight initially lost is water, it takes time to burn fat. If you go down too hard, you'll burn muscle and that leads to other problems. Again correct me if I'm wrong I had no knowledge prior to this diet you are mentioning, so enlighten me please.
I think I lost pretty much 1 kg a week for the most of my journey.
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On September 18 2012 04:57 amazingxkcd wrote:Show nested quote +On September 18 2012 04:44 Bleak wrote:On September 18 2012 04:40 amazingxkcd wrote:
Have you ever heard of Keto diet? Nope, I haven't care to eleborate? Judging by the name of it I would assume it's about consuming primarily only proteins? I asked my dietician that and she said in the short term it would work well to lose weight, but in the long term it would put extra work on the kidneys and may cause kidney problems. Keto is the process of converting your body into a state of ketosis for when your body uses its own fat cells to produce glucose for energy. What this mean is that you eat a high fat/ NO CARBS diet with your proteins and fiber in there. Here is a more detailed link concerning keto: Overview of Keto Diet, Keto FAQThis concept really confuses people because of the fact that they believe in outdated science that carbs are good for you and fat is bad for you. I have been on this diet and have lost 40lbs in 2 months so far, I got rid of my high cholesteral, and I'm feeling better than before. And there is no way that I am going back. I wouldn't consider this a diet, but more of a lifestyle change.
Not....really.
Yes, there are certainly plenty of ignorant people who believe in various diet myths, one of which is that fats are "evil" and not good for you. Not sure I've run into anyway that thinks carbs are great, especially given the number of forms "carbs" can take (i.e. soda pop, candy, etc.).
I have been on this diet and have lost 40lbs in 2 months so far
The reason you have lost weight is because your eating less than your burning, not because your eating tons of fat and low carbohydrates.
I got rid of my high cholesteral, and I'm feeling better than before.
I'm guessing you made some pretty significant dietary changes to switch to the high protein/fat low carb diet. It's this, combined with the general increased focus on eating healthy, that has brought about the changes.
What I'm getting at here is that something like a ketosis style diet (or ANY diet) for that matter is not a magic bullet that solves problems. The key to any diet is finding one that works well FOR YOU and makes you feel good.
@OP - In general, the best approach is just to eat healthy. Really it can be summed up simple with the phrase "eat food, not too much, mostly plants".
What this means is that your eating real food (not hyper processed stuff like soda, candy, etc.). Think item that people a hundred years ago would recognize as food if you took them to the grocery store. Not too much is self explanatory, and mostly plants means that you aren't going totally crazy on things like meats and, again, processed foods.
Sometimes it's not a bad idea to count calories right at the start just to get an idea how your consumption matches up to activity level as some people get overweight simply because they don't realize how many calories are in what they are eating each day.
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Apparently 40lbs is about 16-17 kilograms (correct me if I'm wrong, we use metric system so lbs etc. I don't know much about) and I don't know but it seems that amount of weight loss just in 2 months sounds a little bit too much. I think I read somewhere that losing weight too fast would reduce the thyroid hormone production which would slow your metabolism down. Most of the weight initially lost is water, it takes time to burn fat. If you go down too hard, you'll burn muscle and that leads to other problems. Again correct me if I'm wrong I had no knowledge prior to this diet you are mentioning, so enlighten me please.
You tend to lose a significant amount of weight at first with a low carb style diet, because you deplete your muscle glycogen stores (glycogen is made from carboydrates) which are paired with water in muscle cells. 40 pounds in 2 months does sound crazy though, almost a commercial like claim. That's over 4.5 pounds a week which is running a 2000+ caloric deficit everyday. Unless the person is very obese to start with this is downright unhealthy and quite possibly bordering on downright dangerous.
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On September 18 2012 06:17 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +Apparently 40lbs is about 16-17 kilograms (correct me if I'm wrong, we use metric system so lbs etc. I don't know much about) and I don't know but it seems that amount of weight loss just in 2 months sounds a little bit too much. I think I read somewhere that losing weight too fast would reduce the thyroid hormone production which would slow your metabolism down. Most of the weight initially lost is water, it takes time to burn fat. If you go down too hard, you'll burn muscle and that leads to other problems. Again correct me if I'm wrong I had no knowledge prior to this diet you are mentioning, so enlighten me please. You tend to lose a significant amount of weight at first with a low carb style diet, because you deplete your muscle glycogen stores (glycogen is made from carboydrates) which are paired with water in muscle cells. 40 pounds in 2 months does sound crazy though, almost a commercial like claim. That's over 4.5 pounds a week which is running a 2000+ caloric deficit everyday. Unless the person is very obese to start with this is downright unhealthy and quite possibly bordering on downright dangerous.
Yeah I thought so too. Most dieticians say that 3 pounds (I think that means 1,5 kilograms) at most a week is healthy limit for losing weight. And that's what I did too.
It just feels really surreal or just out of touch when I think about how successful I was at this, and how it just broke down afterwards. I would never imagine to gain back this much weight, I thought I would never gain a kilogram again because I was confident that I could keep this up. The worst thing is you feel the difference every time, when you wear your old clothes (or try to), when you stand up or exercise (you feel the difference in your movements)
And it hurts...It hurts a lot mentally..I gained weight because of emotional issues, most of it in just a span of 5 months. Some failed courses, family problems/loneliness and depression, and I started to eat and drink(alcohol, something I never touched before) more. I remember some days I just didn't care, I felt like I was feeling so terrible at that moment that I didn't give a damn about how much calories I was taking in...And when the truth hits you, it hits like a truck.
My dietician helped me to lose 5 kilograms after I gained so all I had to do was do it myself to go back all the way where it all began. I tried, really. However it was my last year at college this year. I had classes from 9:30 to 17:30 with no breaks in between. Some days I couldn't really eat the regular meals, let alone the healthy snacks I used to bring with me everyday, to every place. Tougher courses, tougher exams, and the time spent at traffic every day almost doubled compared to the period that I lost weight...I discovered that when you get home at 20:00, exhausted from having been driving for at least 1 and a half hour, and just spent mentally because the day is almost over...You just don't really want to exercise, you more like want to lay down and rest. And that meant I gained 4-5 more on top of that and that's where I am now.
The worst thing is, I just don't really see how I am supposed to do this...As i've said I will start a job next month...A completely new routine, completely new rules and places, if I couldn't do this with fairly similar rulesets, how am I going to do this with so much variables?
I really, really want a time machine. Go back to December 2010, and prevent this from happening. Sadly there is none avaiable in market....
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The dude lost nearly 40 kilos. I wouldn't be giving him too much dietary advice. What a baller.
OP: Figure something out close to what you had going before, be consistent about it. You proved it's possible, so have at it.
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On September 19 2012 23:23 -Kaiser- wrote:
The dude lost nearly 40 kilos. I wouldn't be giving him too much dietary advice. What a baller.
OP: Figure something out close to what you had going before, be consistent about it. You proved it's possible, so have at it.
Yea, I'm basically going to echo this. I'm not even sure why your so worried OP, unless you think you won't have the discipline/dedication this time around. As long as you have that though weight loss is easy; just eat healthy, control your portions, and exercise a little and the weight will come right off.
The worst thing is, I just don't really see how I am supposed to do this...As i've said I will start a job next month...A completely new routine, completely new rules and places, if I couldn't do this with fairly similar rulesets, how am I going to do this with so much variables?
Your just way over-stressing and over-thinking. None of that matters. What does a new job have to do with what you chose to eat or what you do for exercise? Nothing. Nothing at all. You don't need the dietitian either. Not only do you already have the knowledge from working with him prior, but eating healthy is really simple.All you have to do is execute and given a little time you'll be right back to where you were.
Tougher courses, tougher exams, and the time spent at traffic every day almost doubled compared to the period that I lost weight...I discovered that when you get home at 20:00, exhausted from having been driving for at least 1 and a half hour, and just spent mentally because the day is almost over...You just don't really want to exercise, you more like want to lay down and rest.
This might sound harsh, but all of that above is nothing but a crutch and a weak excuse. As I see it there are two ways to deal with it:
1) There are lots of things in life we don't feel like doing, but know we need to do anyway. In your case this is one of those. Somehow I doubt you don't do homework because you "don't really want to" or fail to go fix that problem your boss told you to because "you don't really feel like it right now". The very fact that your doing that makes it clear that weight loss/health isn't a big priority to you. If you want to succeed, it needs to be.
2) I guess this tags along with number one, but it's how I approach things so I figured I'd share. The number two answer to basically to embrace and enjoy exercise so that it isn't a "chore" or "work" and is something you want to do. Sure there will be times when the last thing you feel like is going for a run, but if you get yourself to the point where you enjoy it once you get out there it isn't bad anymore.
In my case after I get done with classes and then a 10 hour shift of standing, walking, and carrying shit at Taco Bell the last thing I feel like doing when I come home is getting out for a 13 mile run. My legs are tired as hell and I just wanna chill. Thing is, I want to get better at running and enjoy, and I remind myself that I have NEVER regretted going out for a run once I got out there, and ya know what, once I get out there after a mile or two I usually start to feel great and have a good run.
Bottom Line: If your worried about failing because your not sure if the motivation is there...we'll you gotta decide if this is important to you or not. If it is, you'll be able to succeed on the discipline front no problem.
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On September 20 2012 00:30 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On September 19 2012 23:23 -Kaiser- wrote:
The dude lost nearly 40 kilos. I wouldn't be giving him too much dietary advice. What a baller.
OP: Figure something out close to what you had going before, be consistent about it. You proved it's possible, so have at it. Yea, I'm basically going to echo this. I'm not even sure why your so worried OP, unless you think you won't have the discipline/dedication this time around. As long as you have that though weight loss is easy; just eat healthy, control your portions, and exercise a little and the weight will come right off. Show nested quote +The worst thing is, I just don't really see how I am supposed to do this...As i've said I will start a job next month...A completely new routine, completely new rules and places, if I couldn't do this with fairly similar rulesets, how am I going to do this with so much variables? Your just way over-stressing and over-thinking. None of that matters. What does a new job have to do with what you chose to eat or what you do for exercise? Nothing. Nothing at all. You don't need the dietitian either. Not only do you already have the knowledge from working with him prior, but eating healthy is really simple.All you have to do is execute and given a little time you'll be right back to where you were. Show nested quote +Tougher courses, tougher exams, and the time spent at traffic every day almost doubled compared to the period that I lost weight...I discovered that when you get home at 20:00, exhausted from having been driving for at least 1 and a half hour, and just spent mentally because the day is almost over...You just don't really want to exercise, you more like want to lay down and rest. This might sound harsh, but all of that above is nothing but a crutch and a weak excuse. As I see it there are two ways to deal with it: 1) There are lots of things in life we don't feel like doing, but know we need to do anyway. In your case this is one of those. Somehow I doubt you don't do homework because you "don't really want to" or fail to go fix that problem your boss told you to because "you don't really feel like it right now". The very fact that your doing that makes it clear that weight loss/health isn't a big priority to you. If you want to succeed, it needs to be. 2) I guess this tags along with number one, but it's how I approach things so I figured I'd share. The number two answer to basically to embrace and enjoy exercise so that it isn't a "chore" or "work" and is something you want to do. Sure there will be times when the last thing you feel like is going for a run, but if you get yourself to the point where you enjoy it once you get out there it isn't bad anymore. In my case after I get done with classes and then a 10 hour shift of standing, walking, and carrying shit at Taco Bell the last thing I feel like doing when I come home is getting out for a 13 mile run. My legs are tired as hell and I just wanna chill. Thing is, I want to get better at running and enjoy, and I remind myself that I have NEVER regretted going out for a run once I got out there, and ya know what, once I get out there after a mile or two I usually start to feel great and have a good run. Bottom Line: If your worried about failing because your not sure if the motivation is there...we'll you gotta decide if this is important to you or not. If it is, you'll be able to succeed on the discipline front no problem.
I agree about the comment of `weak excuse`. It definitely is an excuse. The issue is that I always exercised between 16:00-18:00, for two years during that period. I am sure that I probably had a 5-6 month long streak where I did not miss a single day with a once-per-two-days exercise routine.
I had concerns about finding a place for my internship, whether I am going to fail hard at it etc. plus the other emotional problems I have talked about in the OP...These things really cut into my motivation overall, because I felt like during that period, everything in my life worked right. Every single thing. I felt like a God, I felt so confident and strong. Fast forward too years, and I felt bad about many things I did/didn't do in my life...I am 22 years old so pretty young, so this is probably a bullshit statement to feel 'regrets', but I just felt bad about my life. That led to depression and emotional eating+finding excuse not to exercise (plus really as I said I always exercised between those hours, and when I become so used to it I just couldn't used to doing it after that)
Now I feel better with you guys' statements and encouragement, but now I feel like why I didn't do it these past summer, and it just goes on..I get overstressed and overguilty about it.
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On September 20 2012 01:14 Bleak wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2012 00:30 L_Master wrote:On September 19 2012 23:23 -Kaiser- wrote:
The dude lost nearly 40 kilos. I wouldn't be giving him too much dietary advice. What a baller.
OP: Figure something out close to what you had going before, be consistent about it. You proved it's possible, so have at it. Yea, I'm basically going to echo this. I'm not even sure why your so worried OP, unless you think you won't have the discipline/dedication this time around. As long as you have that though weight loss is easy; just eat healthy, control your portions, and exercise a little and the weight will come right off. The worst thing is, I just don't really see how I am supposed to do this...As i've said I will start a job next month...A completely new routine, completely new rules and places, if I couldn't do this with fairly similar rulesets, how am I going to do this with so much variables? Your just way over-stressing and over-thinking. None of that matters. What does a new job have to do with what you chose to eat or what you do for exercise? Nothing. Nothing at all. You don't need the dietitian either. Not only do you already have the knowledge from working with him prior, but eating healthy is really simple.All you have to do is execute and given a little time you'll be right back to where you were. Tougher courses, tougher exams, and the time spent at traffic every day almost doubled compared to the period that I lost weight...I discovered that when you get home at 20:00, exhausted from having been driving for at least 1 and a half hour, and just spent mentally because the day is almost over...You just don't really want to exercise, you more like want to lay down and rest. This might sound harsh, but all of that above is nothing but a crutch and a weak excuse. As I see it there are two ways to deal with it: 1) There are lots of things in life we don't feel like doing, but know we need to do anyway. In your case this is one of those. Somehow I doubt you don't do homework because you "don't really want to" or fail to go fix that problem your boss told you to because "you don't really feel like it right now". The very fact that your doing that makes it clear that weight loss/health isn't a big priority to you. If you want to succeed, it needs to be. 2) I guess this tags along with number one, but it's how I approach things so I figured I'd share. The number two answer to basically to embrace and enjoy exercise so that it isn't a "chore" or "work" and is something you want to do. Sure there will be times when the last thing you feel like is going for a run, but if you get yourself to the point where you enjoy it once you get out there it isn't bad anymore. In my case after I get done with classes and then a 10 hour shift of standing, walking, and carrying shit at Taco Bell the last thing I feel like doing when I come home is getting out for a 13 mile run. My legs are tired as hell and I just wanna chill. Thing is, I want to get better at running and enjoy, and I remind myself that I have NEVER regretted going out for a run once I got out there, and ya know what, once I get out there after a mile or two I usually start to feel great and have a good run. Bottom Line: If your worried about failing because your not sure if the motivation is there...we'll you gotta decide if this is important to you or not. If it is, you'll be able to succeed on the discipline front no problem. I agree about the comment of `weak excuse`. It definitely is an excuse. The issue is that I always exercised between 16:00-18:00, for two years during that period. I am sure that I probably had a 5-6 month long streak where I did not miss a single day with a once-per-two-days exercise routine. I had concerns about finding a place for my internship, whether I am going to fail hard at it etc. plus the other emotional problems I have talked about in the OP...These things really cut into my motivation overall, because I felt like during that period, everything in my life worked right. Every single thing. I felt like a God, I felt so confident and strong. Fast forward too years, and I felt bad about many things I did/didn't do in my life...I am 22 years old so pretty young, so this is probably a bullshit statement to feel 'regrets', but I just felt bad about my life. That led to depression and emotional eating+finding excuse not to exercise (plus really as I said I always exercised between those hours, and when I become so used to it I just couldn't used to doing it after that) Now I feel better with you guys' statements and encouragement, but now I feel like why I didn't do it these past summer, and it just goes on..I get overstressed and overguilty about it.
Feeling stressed about the past isn't going to help. As for emotional eating, I personally like going to get turkey jerky (dried turkey) when I feel like having a snack due to stress. It's delicious, and pretty Healthy.
I also like drop in Basket-ball or soccer, it's fun for a break from the gym and tends to be more enjoyable.
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I know it can be hard but don't punsh yourself mentally for past mistakes. The more you dwell on what went wrong or what might have been the more you prevent yourself from moving forward. Try and focus on what you can control and do right now, you can get back in contact with your former dietician and if you feel you need it then you should. Even if it's just bi weekly advice , having a sense of familair support may help kickstart your new attempt.
Work with and not against your new job schedule once it happens, you may have been used to a different schedule before but you have to adopt a new one. Even in some of the heaviest schedules out there, there is usually a little time that could be used for something as mundane as jogging in place or other small exercises. If you can make a habit out of doing small things even seemingly inconsequentials routines can lead to positive results.
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On September 20 2012 05:18 ladyumbra wrote:
I know it can be hard but don't punsh yourself mentally for past mistakes. The more you dwell on what went wrong or what might have been the more you prevent yourself from moving forward. Try and focus on what you can control and do right now, you can get back in contact with your former dietician and if you feel you need it then you should. Even if it's just bi weekly advice , having a sense of familair support may help kickstart your new attempt.
Work with and not against your new job schedule once it happens, you may have been used to a different schedule before but you have to adopt a new one. Even in some of the heaviest schedules out there, there is usually a little time that could be used for something as mundane as jogging in place or other small exercises. If you can make a habit out of doing small things even seemingly inconsequentials routines can lead to positive results.
Thanks for your support. This week I started to control what I eat and tried to exercise when I could. So far I haven't seen any drop in my weight but hopefully next week will be different. I also contacted my former dietician by e-mail and she told me to keep a food diary and send her what I eat every day.
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I'd take a look at intermittent fasting @ leangains and then adopt a 3 times a week barbell lifting program. It is a diet rich on protein and with training you get to do carb refeeds, which helps people who have carb cravings imo.
Check out the TL&HF for support.
Well done on the first part of your journey and remember - If you arent willing to fail, you wont win in the long term.
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Hey, thought I wanted to update this.
Right now I am about the same kg with the OP, however I was over it by 2.5 kg a few weeks back. Moreover, I started to get going a very similar routine to what I did before to successfully lose weight, and I'm in contact with my former dietician. I am also exercising once every two days, doing basically what I did for 3 year, an hour of tempo walking on treadmill.
I'm controlling my portions, eating healthy. For close to about two weeks now, I haven't skipped a meal, eaten every 3 hours fruit/a glass of milk etc. healthy snacks to keep my insulin level stable (which I've heard from my dietician that is really the big reason why it can be so easy to gain weight)
Just once I went overboard but it was a special occasion, meaning a couple glasses of red wine and lots of red meat. The good thing is I can now control myself the way I did and to be honest, I have forgotten how happy and alert exercise made me. My legs finally feel like something is powering up down there, even after something low like two weeks. I can feel my balance improved, I can basically move much faster through daily life, which makes me feel happy.
I hope in 3 months I lose something like 10kg, bringing me down to 92, which is just 4 kg shy of my best, fittest level. When I write it like this, it sounds so easy. A friend of mine have told me when I was in doubts about I ever being able to lose weight again, that the hardest part was going down from 123kg to 88, and that 10-15 extra kg I was worried about should gone if I focus hard. And even thought technically there isn't too much of a difference in my effective weight yet, I think this effort so far must have got the gears working. I hope to see some concrete results this week, maybe loss of a solid kg to make me concentrated.
For the longest time in two years I finally feel some sort of peace, because doing this made me happy. Ridiculously fucking happy. I wasn't even caring about my personal issues that have plagued me for the year and a half back then. Most of the issues were there and I was sort of aware of it, but I just didn't give a shit. I felt happy, successful, confident and also healthy. I feel like that feelings are slowly coming back, with each day of exercise and after each show of strong will that I put into use to resist the temptations of bad (but delicious) food.
Thanks for reading so far, love you all.
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