EPTI have had a pretty tough childhood. Not in the way that I have been physically abused or something like that. I haven't been born with a massive disadvantage to everyone else. But I have had a very hectic upbringing. My parents never got along. They have absolutely hated each other from when I was 8 months old. I grew up with constant screaming and yelling, resulting in depression from both parents, disinterest in me at points, and even straight up dangerous situations. I made it through that time, but only because my father eventually kicked my mom out of the house. Through a series of court cases in which my father lost, my mom got almost full custody of me. Something that changed only this last year to my own actions. I can never blame my parents for not loving me because they always have, but I can blame them for showing me how utterly depressing and challenging life can be. I have been verbally abused by my mother multiple times. I was even told that I didnt have a soul once, my mother was so angry at me for refusing to do what she wanted that she told me I was dead to her. She has anger management issues, but thats somewhat besides the point. Anyways all of my life ive had to survive tough situations but currently im going through something completely new.
I'm a very competitive tennis player. Ever since the age of 10 I have been playing a consistent amount of tennis, taking lessons, playing in tournaments and doing my best to improve. In a way tennis is just like everything else, it takes time to improve, its not just something that you can do well half-assing, and dedication always pays off. But the thing I love about it is the individuality. The idea that its just you and your opponent out there and the better one of you will always win. It creates a very competitive setting where you do not have to rely on anyone other than yourself. Some people find this the reason that makes them dislike tennis, but for me its what allows me to strive.
Throughout high school I have always hated working in groups. I always get put into groups with people who don't want to work, but know that I will always do my best. 95% of the time I end up doing almost all of the project, which creates alot of frustration (obviously). Ive spoken to teachers about it, but I almost always get the same response. "Tell me who's not doing anything and I will talk to them". I dont like throwing classmates under the bus, especially since they just lie their way out of it, but eventually enough is enough. The problem continues to persist however, and has basically led to me not being interested in doing anything important in a group that doesnt have people I can trust 100%.
Baseball used to be my favorite sport. I played it all throughout my much younger years and continue to play it now. But it has become less and less interesting to me. The whole team aspect can be great if you have actual nice people. But, it just seems like everyone wants to turn the game into a individual ground where they can show how much better they are than everyone else. It honestly seems like an absolute shitstorm just waiting to happen. Baseball has been continually lessening its interest to me, and I have actually considered just quitting it all together. The individual/team aspect isn't the only problem to me, as my school seems to have absolutely horrible coaches. I blame this on our athletic director, due to the fact that three of the coaches he has hired dont even have highschool diplomas. That to me is beyond ridiculous. I don't know if I will continue to play it or not, but the events that have been happening through baseball have certainly made my interest in tennis continue to grow and my interest in group outings and situations continue to decline.
Recently, tennis has changed. Being a sophomore now I'm in the awkward spot where your not quite an upper classmen but neither are you completely new. On the tennis team you get cut a lot less slack than the seniors or juniors. Last year as a freshman I played number two singles on the varsity team. This was due to mostly natural talent, but also a considerable amount of hard work involving lessons and large amounts of practice. The thing that frustrated me the most was that I never got the opportunity to challenge the number one player on the team even though the coach told us we were allowed to basically whenever we wanted to. The reason I never got to is because at the beginning of the season when basically everyone plays everyone I was hurt with a shoulder injury and had to serve underhand. Now for all of you who dont know tennis very well serving underhand puts you at a massive disadvantage, its basically just letting them hit a winner off of every single one of your serves. The coach also favored this player massively over others, which is shows up far too often in high school sports.
Then this year, I beat the player twice, taking the spot. I beat him handily in both matches. However after the second one he accuses me of cheating, by making bad line calls on purpose. I have always played sports as honestly as I possibly can, because I feel that any form of cheating greatly diminishes any want I would have for playing the sport. The accusations of cheating were very hurtful to me, and the fact that the coach granted him a rematch is also very frustrating. The coach has never done anything well and has always showed favor towards the players that are older than me. I feel like he personally dislikes me and goes out of his way to make things harder for me.
tldr: Life currently sucks
