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I put the title in quotes, because I’ve come to realize that working hard is all a state of mind.
I’ll use myself as a good example. I’ve been studying Biochemistry for almost four years. I’ve just applied to medical school. If you had asked me in high school if I was working hard, I would have told you that I was working my ass off. If high school me told current me (if you follow, sorry) that he was working his ass off, I would laugh in his face and tell him to get a job, hippie.
For those who don’t follow the system (I don’t blame you, it’s a pain in the ass), applying to medical school is about as fun as pulling all of your teeth out one by one. Taking the MCAT is a royal pain in the ass. In past years, people would take college courses, take the MCAT, and that was that. There might be a little preparation, a little studying and preparing on your own, but there was no huge preparation for the exam. Nowadays, companies like the Princeton Review and Kaplan hire people simply to study the MCAT. They spend years of their lives studying these exams, and thus have an inner scoop on what the exams are like. What kinds of questions you can expect to see most often. If you don’t pay these people $2000 to take a course with them and get that kind of information, you are inherently behind. It’s a HUGE scam, but I shelled out the 2k and got my score on the MCAT. Whatever. At least I don’t have to take it all again.
After you take this monstrosity of a test, you work on your primary application. Filling out every single class you’ve ever taken, with the professor, your grade, all that shit. What’s better is that you’re sending your transcripts anyways. So they’re going to see all of that – they just want you to type it all out. Then they spend about a month “verifying” that what you said is what you actually got. Then they charge you about $50 per school you’re applying to, for “verifying” your application.
The secondaries are the biggest pain in the ass. Each school asks you to write unique essays and fill out their own application. There isn’t a common application for these. Obviously, these take a LONG time.
The last few weeks have been some of the most stressful weeks of my life. My research advisor said she would be happy to write me a letter of recommendation, back in JANUARY. I told her that the first week of June would be great – that’s when I can access the application and begin to send in my letters. Come the first week of June, she’s asking me when the deadline is. All in all, I didn’t get this letter until about two weeks ago.
So why did I start this blog with “working my ass off”? Right now, I would say I’ve been working my ass off. I volunteer at a free medical clinic three times a week, scheduling new patients and making phone calls to physicians. I shadow a doctor at a local hospital, and I have a lab fellowship that has been a point of contention all summer long. (unbeknownst to me)
This fellowship was supposed to be for 40 hours/week for 10 weeks. In the first 6 weeks, I had worked 220 hours. Now, I should preface this by saying those 400 hours total can be spread through your summer however you prefer. I took a week off (family vacation, god forbid), and afterwards was spending only about 25-30 hours a week in lab. Regardless, we are now almost 18 weeks into my summer. Just yesterday, my research advisor threw me under the bus and told my boss that she didn’t think I was in lab often enough.
I’m applying for medical school. I’m volunteering. I’m shadowing. I often come running from the hospital around 10 or 11am to get into lab and work until 8 or 9pm. Just last week, I had two weeks to put together an abstract and make a poster to present at Notre Dame, where I had to drive 3 hours there and back on a Friday. My research advisor works in lab almost 24/7. She’s a graduate student trying to graduate with her PhD. She works VERY hard, which means she often doesn't notice or see me when I'm there on the WEEKENDS, or working late into the night. I'm not allowed to work weekends, per my agreement. She also took 7 months to write me my recommendation letter for medical school (about 400 words, not even three paragraphs). She doesn’t understand that this fellowship, while important to me, doesn’t determine the outcome of the rest of my life like these applications do.
If you asked me right now, I’d tell you I’m working my ass off. The problem is, these people have my nuts in a vice because they wrote me a letter, and wrote it two months later than I needed it. I should have said screw you and backed out. I don’t like the idea that someone can tell me I’m not working hard enough. I get home around 10pm and pass out until 6 or 7am, when I get up and rush off to the hospital, the Clinic, or the lab again. I’m vice president of the club tennis team, I’m not working out, I’m not playing tennis, barely playing starcraft (although I placed master random, WOO!) and NOT enjoying my summer. I barely see my girlfriend, and I'm worried that our relationship is slowly fading into nothing.
Classes are about to start in September. I’ll be a senior. I just want to watch some football, relax just a little bit, and hopefully finally get to watch my hard work fall into place. But I’ve learned life isn’t fair and it doesn’t seem to be happening for me yet. I’m tearing my hair out worried that I won’t get into a single medical school, and I’ll have to continue working my ass off for another year just to get another shot.
I’m burned out. That's the only way I can describe it. I've been moving at 100mph since I got into University. So I ask you, TL, am I actually working hard? Or do I just feel that way because I’m lazy? I really do think its all a state of mind. If you spend most of your time not doing shit, you probably feel you’re always working hard. I’m sure there are plenty of you reading this who are working harder than me.
Love this site. Cheers~
  
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60% of people take at least one year off after graduation doing various things before entering med school now. It wasn't like that in the past, but that's how it is now.
Consider taking at least one year off before entering med school, even if you get in this current cycle. You can defer at no cost. You could then continue doing research at the bench if that's what you want, you could enter the job world and work in biotech, you could travel and attend basic science & medical conferences in other countries, etc. You don't have to rush into it if you feel that stressed. In fact, if you're as overwhelmed and stressed as you sound, you really should consider taking some time.
Anyway, what I take away from this blog is that you are just spelling out your stresses in order to get a better handle on them. That's good. I highly doubt you're seriously confused as to whether or not you're 'working hard'. The number of hours you're working and dedication you're devoting necessarily means you are working hard, even if you feel like you could be working harder. Full time lab researchers are pretty wacko in general (grad students & post-docs), so you have to take their criticisms through the lens that they themselves are also stressed and a little nuts. Keep at it in the lab, and stick to the parameters of the program. If someone in your lab other than your P.I. tells you that you are not doing enough, when in fact you are doing more than the specified workload, they are wrong. On the other hand, if your P.I. has a concern, then you should listen, by all means. Remember that on top of everything it's your P.I. who is the boss of everyone, so if you actually think this graduate student is being abrasive with you to the point that it stresses you out this much, consider meeting with the P.I. and getting her opinion on the matter.
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Russian Federation748 Posts
Hard science studies are much harder than medicine, but then again people in those fields enjoy studying a lot, while med students choose their job on other grounds for the most part. So I guess I'd agree with you, it's very much a state of mind. When I am obsessed with understanding something, the countless hours I put in it hardly look like work.
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You're still in pampered academia-land. Tell us about working hard when you've been at it for six years without a significant vacation apart from your honeymoon. You've got it easy right now.
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On August 08 2012 02:15 pigmanbear wrote:
You're still in pampered academia-land. Tell us about working hard when you've been at it for six years without a significant vacation apart from your honeymoon. You've got it easy right now.
This is more of the response I was expecting, although I appreciate the advice given. I was definitely just spelling out a lot of my stresses.
To pigman, if you've ever spent time in a graduate or post-doc lab you'd understand more vividly what I'm describing. These lab students work harder here than anyone I know - including my father, who works 70-80 hours a week and takes almost no vacation time.
They work 24/7 with no breaks, and I often find many of them asleep at their desks overnight because they simply can't find the time to go home. They're working here harder than me, but most of my stress is evolved from the fact that one of these students claims I'm not living up to my program standards, and threatening to take my fellowship away, when I've clearly fulfilled the requirements.
I have too many things on my plate as it is, and it seems like everyone is asking for seconds. I'm sure many people can relate - you feel as though you're stretched too thin in a lot of places, and everyone wants you to work harder and more efficiently.
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On August 08 2012 02:25 dGHaiL wrote:
everyone wants you to work harder and more efficiently.
Everyone? Or just that one graduate student who is overseeing your bench work? Does your P.I. fully agree with the grad student?
It's your P.I. that has the say, not the researcher. If your P.I. is pleased with what you are doing, you do not need to adjust anything. I find it strange that a grad student has the power to end your summer research program, and not the P.I. Are you sure you have it correct? Are you in frequent contact with the actual P.I., or are you only seeing you research adviser/grad student?
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+ Show Spoiler +On August 08 2012 02:49 FallDownMarigold wrote:Show nested quote +On August 08 2012 02:25 dGHaiL wrote:
everyone wants you to work harder and more efficiently. Everyone? Or just that one graduate student who is overseeing your bench work? Does your P.I. fully agree with the grad student? It's your P.I. that has the say, not the researcher. If your P.I. is pleased with what you are doing, you do not need to adjust anything. I find it strange that a grad student has the power to end your summer research program, and not the P.I. Are you sure you have it correct? Are you in frequent contact with the actual P.I., or are you only seeing you research adviser/grad student?
I have very little contact with the P.I.
I very rarely see her, and aside from sitting next to her at a wedding this summer, we've have little one on one contact.
I'm meeting with her (alone) later this week. It concerns me that the only information she gets is coming from my grad student advisor - who is telling her I'm not working hard enough. I've heard nothing about whether or not she thinks I'm working hard enough.
I was supposed to work 5 hours a week during the school year (I took an individual study under her for one credit, the definition is 5 hours). Anyone who knows anything about research knows 5 hours isn't enough time to do anything of value. I was there for 20-25 hours every week, while taking classes, etc. etc. She knows my work ethic.
Edit: The reason I said "everyone" was to be more general and give a more general example. In the email sent to me from my grad student, she said there is a potential to "take part of your summer fellowship back" which I think would be absurd. But I'm also 99% sure that this did not come from the P.I. and is her way of "scaring" me to work harder. As we speak I'm sitting in lab twiddling my thumbs and writing essays because I'm waiting for a 6 hour reaction to finish so I can continue with a labeling process. I've already created all necessary buffers etc. but I'm terrified to go home and come back lest I get nailed for "not working".
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Wow that sounds really brutal. I'd say you have to want it (being a doctor) really really bad to put up with all that shit. What is your motivation for going to medical school? It seems like there are so many alternatives that would be more rewarding and less stressful.
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Canada6330 Posts
Keep at it, find small moments of joy and accomplishment in your everyday routine, and always draw a clear line between work and personal life. Easier said than done, and I'm not very good at doing what I just suggested, but it's an advice that I try to follow everyday.
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On August 08 2012 02:58 Mothra wrote:
Wow that sounds really brutal. I'd say you have to want it (being a doctor) really really bad to put up with all that shit. What is your motivation for going to medical school? It seems like there are so many alternatives that would be more rewarding and less stressful.
I feel as though I could paste my personal statement for you here, Mothra, but I'll spare you the long story.
I'm taking a scholarship from the Navy and joining the HPSP program - meaning I'll be a Navy doc for the next ~20 years.
I've never cared about money - although I've been fortunate enough to grow up in a loving family who never had to worry about the issues associated with lack of money. I'd rather dedicate my life to working hard and serving others, I look up to people like Umbra (you should check out his blogs!)
I'll do anything to achieve my goal. I'm just looking for some help / advice and how to be less stressed. Heh.
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I've seen this kind of stuff myself very often. My friends study the same thing so I hear their stories constantly. They talk about how they study and work day and night, even sacrificing sleep just to get a passing grade. I mean I get that it's rough on your free hours to relax but as long as you take the time to stop and realize there are always people your own age who are facing greater hardships with even more disheartening circumstances, you'll just shut up and do your work. I'm no psychologist but from my experience it seems that stress comes from defining your current work ethics to be borderline impossible. Of course this is just mental stress, with physical stress there are consequences that we all agree are legitimate. Mental stress on the other hand is a more touchy subject.
My very few friends who are on the very top in terms of GPA and general career outlook seem to just deal with it and never complain. Like literally I NEVER EVER HEAR THEM COMPLAIN, its almost mind-boggling. Then what's funny is that my friends that were doing amazing in their courses, begin to burn out as they succumb to all the pressure and start kicking the can while they swear under their breath.
I'm sure as hell my cousin in Vietnam that works on a tiny floating fish farm in the middle of the ocean, who is actually on the job all 24 hours it takes for the Earth to rotate, with very little to eat (because he's poor), is working harder than you and everyone else who views this forum (because he doesn't own a computer) both mentally and physically. Then there's people in much worse shape obviously. But of course this thread isn't about who works harder, its about coping with the stress when you feel like you are nearing your limit.
Like you said it's all in your state of mind when you try to define "working hard" for yourself. Really well put! Because yeah, when you get to a point you want to call it quits but you can't, then you say to yourself this is too much. That's basically putting a limiter on yourself, saying "I can only do this much before thinking I'm working too hard". When I went through a lot of stress, caused by long physical labor, very little time to myself, I dealt with it by shutting up and manning up. That's how I put a stop to it. Before then I would use my personal blog to vent out my frustrations from a long day at work and school, but that's just me taking into account that I felt that I was nearing my limit when really you don't know what your real limit is. The limit I prescribe to nowadays is how well I am physically. So that means I draw the line when my mental stress begins to create problems that physical stress would cause. An easy example would be my father who almost had his leg aputated because he kept going to work although he had a crippling infected ulcer in his foot, now that is working too hard.
That's just my point of view on work ethics. I see a lot of people who complain about very easy loads of schoolwork viciously and it's upsetting when I know that what they are doing is NOTHING to stress about. You can take what you want from my post, I hope I helped you relax a bit.
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On August 08 2012 02:25 dGHaiL wrote:Show nested quote +On August 08 2012 02:15 pigmanbear wrote:
You're still in pampered academia-land. Tell us about working hard when you've been at it for six years without a significant vacation apart from your honeymoon. You've got it easy right now. This is more of the response I was expecting, although I appreciate the advice given. I was definitely just spelling out a lot of my stresses. To pigman, if you've ever spent time in a graduate or post-doc lab you'd understand more vividly what I'm describing. These lab students work harder here than anyone I know - including my father, who works 70-80 hours a week and takes almost no vacation time. They work 24/7 with no breaks, and I often find many of them asleep at their desks overnight because they simply can't find the time to go home. They're working here harder than me, but most of my stress is evolved from the fact that one of these students claims I'm not living up to my program standards, and threatening to take my fellowship away, when I've clearly fulfilled the requirements. I have too many things on my plate as it is, and it seems like everyone is asking for seconds. I'm sure many people can relate - you feel as though you're stretched too thin in a lot of places, and everyone wants you to work harder and more efficiently.
Oof, that's crazy, and gives my cranky ass some perspective  I'm amazed they work people like that. Good luck!
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You are working pretty hard, I did the same thing pretty much except less time involved and was doing a political campaign. I ran around canvassing votes and phone banking pretty much 7 hours a day for about 3 weeks. Now that doesn't seem like much, but if I hadn't had a surgery I would have started much earlier and probablyy gotten in a lot more hours. A long with that I have been doing summer HW. You are working hard, but I feel you as a highschool junior. Lots of work, lots of studying lots of everything haha.
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$2k on the MCAT? Go discover SDN before you get swindled on AAMC prep too.
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Thanks for the information Ke, I'd expect that to come from someone with the same alma mater
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EPT
