|
I have known this girl for almost eight years, and it was not until the beginning of this one that we truly began to know each other. However, I have forced her to wait for me for more than six months, and I am feeling like a complete idiot.
The furthest back I can remember brings me to my fifteenth birthday: she was there, and at that moment, we were nothing but casual friends: we seldom talked to each other.
Her family, my family, and all our friends were at one point as 'thick as thieves.' This is not surprising given we are Hispanic, and because of that, this whole circle of friends began to regard all of us younglings as the beginning of their future generations in this new country: we are practically Americans.
Seven years went by, and I only saw her about once or twice a year: we would all get together during certain holidays and have colorful parties the way Latinos know best how to. However, throughout every single one of those years, I would notice her casually looking at me with this flirtatious smile and often tried to spark tiny conversations between us. All of them were fleeting and really nothing serious, nevertheless.
Now, it so happened that during last year's annual New Year's get-together she made the bold move of sitting next to me and talking to me like never before.
I felt totally indifferent about her then, and I guess I answered her questions very politely, gentlemanly, and sweetly; I unconsciously and implicitly let her know that I was a grown man completely unlike that boy she's been knowing for the past eight years. I believe that that served as the catalyst that launched the entire adventure to come.
We began to get in touch through e-mail, phone and in person. I would write to her almost daily and would see her at least once a week. It did not take me too long to realize that she was trying to up our casual relationship up a whole notch, and I was not truly sure whether I wanted to do this or not: I did not want to submit to her immediately simply because she had the initiative to talk to me that night.
The conversations began to get more intimate, the e-mails began to get very long, and the personal encounters began to get really obvious: we would hug each other for minutes, stand inches away from each other and stick together like we were already going out. This quickly became like eye-candy for all our Hispanic friends: they wanted to throw a party over it and nose into our relationship down to the bedroom level, and I did not like that, despite the fact that I am Hispanic as well.
My mother has always held me in an extremely high esteem, and she did not like that: she thought that everyone that wanted to nose into our relationship either had no life of their own of were being overly disrespectful toward us. Apparently, the 'good boy' that everyone looked up to had finally found himself the love of his life: the 'good girl' that we all know. They are the perfect couple because we saw them both grow up! I am sure that that was their train of thought.
In no time, I found myself carrying out insanely heated debates with my mother almost daily. I began to fall in love with her, and my mother began to dislike her for all the drama that she had caused. She also began to develop false ideas about her personality based simply off of the mood she was finding herself in, and I will just say that they were not good at all. It got to the point where mom wanted me to completely cut every connection I had with her and her family, permanently.
But I loved her, and I could not do that.
During that time, she began to notice that I was 'dodging' her. I stopped sending her messages, calling her and did not meet with her in person for almost two months with the excuse that I was undergoing very rough times. But instead of brushing me aside, she offered her help to me and never let go of me. She would tell me that she was praying for me every day, her mother would send me encouraging notes, and she even painted me a beautiful Japanese watercolor landscape for my birthday. She did not want to let go of me, and at the same time, she was insanely pissed at my silence.
I did not want to tell her all the details because I did not want to hurt her.
Right now, she flew to her home country for one month (vacation), and my parents (just days ago) moved on with their lives and are now living in Europe. That is, I have one month to think of something and try and apologize to her for everything that I did to her, for my silence. I am pretty certain that she still likes me and wants to begin a relationship with me, but I feel horrible for having put her through all this junk for so long: she had to tolerate six months of my secretive nonsense, and it almost feels like I do not deserve her.
But I once held her hands, kissed her on the cheek, and told her that I valued her like I have never valued anything else in my life before. All that came straight from the bottom of my heart, so I can surely say that I have pure feelings for her.
I promised her that I would tell her everything upon her return. Do you guys have any suggestions for me at all? I want to let it all out and tell her how I feel, but I am sure I could get some really good advice from you guys, because I have seen you help others thoroughly.
God bless.
 
|
Incredible story.
I'd write to her immediately, maybe just a letter if it arrives on time, writing everything from both your apologetic side, to how amazing she is to how "dumb" you were.
Then wait for her at the airport terminal when she arrives :D
|
How can we ever tell you what to say man? All the advice I can give you is to be honest with her and tell her that you foolishly let yourself be influenced by people that didn't want to see you two together and that it was the most retarded thing you ever did. Also consider not telling her it was mostly your mom as you might unnecessarily strain their relationship.
Buena suerte hermanito I trust you will do the right thing
|
Copy and paste that entire thing. Do it.
|
On June 19 2012 02:23 Paintbrush wrote:
But I once held her hands, kissed her on the cheek, and told her that I valued her like I have never valued anything else in my life before. All that came straight from the bottom of my heart, so I can surely say that I have pure feelings for her.
I promised her that I would tell her everything upon her return. Do you guys have any suggestions for me at all? I want to let it all out and tell her how I feel, but I am sure I could get some really good advice from you guys, because I have seen you help others thoroughly.
God bless.
As Torte said, start contacting her again. Start repairing the friendship and say the things you feel - tell her that "I value you like I have never valued anything else in my life before" and apologize for the silence. If she has the same feelings for you then you don't want a day to pass without her thinking that you're out of contact and out of her life.
You're determined to tell her everything and it doesn't look like you're going to chicken out, so there's really no more advice we can give you. Good luck 
|
She's back. I may finally see her today. Thanks for your words, and wish me luck, guys! I'll post here about how it went.
|
On July 12 2012 22:55 Paintbrush wrote:
She's back. I may finally see her today. Thanks for your words, and wish me luck, guys! I'll post here about how it went.
I will pray for thee a fairy tale ending!
Good luck!
|
On July 12 2012 22:55 Paintbrush wrote:
She's back. I may finally see her today. Thanks for your words, and wish me luck, guys! I'll post here about how it went.
May the forces of quantum mechanics be with you.
|
I have great hopes for this blog to end in a happy update, good luck!
|
gogo!! you can do it! and if she thinks for a second you never cared, show her this  glgl!
|
So she returned a bit later than I thought last week (her flight got delayed), but I still managed to man up and proceeded to take her out to a park near her home.
She saw me first from afar and waved at me. I saw her, waved back and paced toward her whilst feeling like we were both running toward each other amid a sunflower field. She was carrying with her a little present bag, and so was I. I’ve never hugged anyone like that before. We walked, and walked, and walked for a long time before we finally told each other: “Hey! I have something for you!” She gave me a bag full of cookies from her home country, and I gave her a present bag with a letter and some chocolates in it. She read my letter with anxiousness and hugged me with lots of warmth.
I let her talk and tell me all about her trip over there. She sat close next to me and went over the hundred pictures or so that she took during her stay. They were beautiful. Some time ago, I told her that I love birds, so most of her pictures were just exotic birds she had seen and even got to hold! I lost track of time so easily that I almost forgot that I had to tell her how I felt about her. The setting sun is a really good reminder! I spent a great deal of time simply talking to her and elaborating on all of the things that I mentioned up there, and when the moment finally arrived, I paused for what seemed to me like a whole minute, held her hands, and told her that I cherished her like I have no one else before.
She softly told me that the feeling was mutual... then we kissed.
For the longest time, I thought I was a pansy; to me, asking a girl out was the most difficult thing a man could undergo. How mistaken was I! It feels so relieving to just let that treasured soul know how you feel about her, and you get so carried away by it that your fears vanish just like that. It’s easy, it’s peaceful, it’s quiet and it’s so deep. Her and I have now spent a whole week just valuing each other so sweetly. I believe I may’ve finally found my soul mate, and I couldn’t be any more happier about it.
Thank you so much for sticking by and for your encouraging words, guys. They helped me man up a lot!
|
|
|
TLADT24920 Posts
I just saw this blog for the first time but what a story. Glad to know things ended up working out in the end. It's like they say, you don't realize how important someone is until you lost them. Glad that wasn't the case here
|
Almost missed this. Why isn't GIRL BLOG in the title?
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
