Girl Blog: How do I fix this? - Page 2

On May 27 2012 13:05 r.Evo wrote:
1) Please ignore the "being friends is fine!!!11"-crew. Being friends isn't fine if you want to have sex with the girl.
2) Walking away? If you wanted to do that you wouldn't post here.
3) Talking shit over with her? No. You don't talk about whether a relationship makes sense or not. Don't bring logic into an emotional matter. If you do that, you've already lost.
Edit: 4) Anyone who says "It's not your fault at all!" is lying and didn't get over shit like this himself. Yes, there are two people who belong to a relationship. However, both are equally responsible for their actions and reactions. Her "not being into you anymore" is a reaction to something you changed after the first week or so. It's not her being a horrible person.


(I might sound hostile in the points below here and there, don't take it the wrong way. Only way I see to help you here quickly is to shake up the way you think about relationships and gurls, I wouldn't post if I didn't want to help you ♥)



I'll translate this one by one:


She doesn't want to "not be committed" to you. She's lying to protect your feelings. It's highly likely that she does this with only good intent for you.



Relationships don't work on a logical basis. They, especially in the beginning, work around very basic instincs and principles. You can employ logic when you have to decide a break up with a 12 year old child in the middle, but not after a month of dating while you're in your 20s.



You want to apologize to her for not being attractive to her anymore? If you want to shoot yourself in the foot, go ahead.


Here's the deal:
-Apparently she was into you for whatever reasons. You're most likely a cool cat and made her all tingly inside for whatever reasons.
-For SOME reason the whole tingly sparkly feeling isn't there for her anymore.
-To get your relationship back on track you have to spark attraction. You're on the way to becoming one giant pussy and, based on the infos you've given us so far, I'm pretty sure you're scared shitload of losing her. That however, even though it is your main problem which you should work on in the long run, isn't something that's quickly fixable.


If you want to have a quick fix which will get your relationship back on track, here's what will most likely work:
Escalate sexually. Be a damn man. Don't be the whiney pussy that begs her to stay around you for whatever reason. Be a man, have a penis, show her that you love putting it inside her. You're scared shitless, she knows that you are and she also knows she doesn't want a man who is scared shitless because of his own problems. Bring out that inner caveman and enjoy it.


In the long run you have to work on becoming a more self-confident and secure person. Either that, or you'll relive this exact story again and again - and I'm willing to bet that this isn't the first time you're on the "losing" end of an emotonal relationship. If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got.

gl~

On May 27 2012 18:43 B.I.G. wrote:
I would get posses off at her for using the lamest excuse ever. Breaking up because your stressed out sounds like some good ol' bullshit to me.

On May 27 2012 15:22 MonkSEA wrote:


I appreciate it all. I don't take any of your advice with hostility or ill intent.

I don't actually enjoy sex as much as having someone there to cuddle or hug, so it's never on my priority list of things to accomplish fast, and personally to me I only have sex with people I know that'll stick around for a while. Call me old fashioned and all that but it's a personal choice.

I think I'd rather this die off then advance sexually.

On May 27 2012 23:10 r.Evo wrote:



Hmm... that's fine of course. Just keep in mind that attraction in the end is a mostly sexual thing. The difference between a great friendship and a relationship with a girl is... well, with one of them you have sex, with the other you don't. So basically you're about to get what you want, if sex is on a low priority list for you. =S

If you don't treat a girl as a sexual being, she won't treat you as one either. That usually results in "I really like you, but not in THAT kind of way. But we could totally stay friends!" (since that attitude is what you projected onto her in the first place) =P

On May 27 2012 03:46 MonkSEA wrote:
I've been dating this girl for about a month now. Only just recently she's been saying 'I love you' and beforehand I knew it was hard for her to say this.

Now here's the problem, I come home last night to her saying she wants to break up with me because she is stressed with a numerous amount of things, and doesn't want to be committed to anyone. Just wants company.

I didn't know how to act from this, I love her, she loves me, but she doesn't want to be committed which makes little to no sense with me because the logical course for me if I were in her shoes was just to see if she can support me while I am down.

I'm seeing her again tonight to talk over it, because I was just so shocked and was just refusing to take such an excuse, so tonight I want to apologize for stressing her when I kept trying to fight for the relationship.

How should I go about this whole thing? I'm still pretty torn up about it and I really don't want this to end. I have really bad trust issues with girls because every relationship I've had has ended with the girl cheating on me, and she knows my trust issues are pretty bad.. But I took a gamble and believed and trusted her, now I feel kind of betrayed.

Any ways, should I keep fighting for our relationship or should I let it go as she wants? She still wants to be friends, and she said that she doesn't know if I wait it out that she still wants to be with me. This thing has torn me up pretty badly.

On May 28 2012 16:42 MonkSEA wrote:


Ahh, this has been pretty valuable. Thank you!

Just to update anyone mildly interested in this, I talked to her and got the real reason, turns out she just wasn't interested at all any more, so yeah. Don't want to really bother with someone who can't tell the truth on something important.

Thanks for the profile check on myself, I'll try to start making more sexual moves with future relationships where I see the chance.