Oh what a tease title eh? First blog of 2012! (this is a little funny to me, since I think I made a resolution to blog more, coincidentally, I also made a resolution to brush my teeth more - stereotypes about the English are sometimes right )
I was discussing with a flatmate a few days ago, talking about general problems and he stuck me with this one "this year has been the worst year of my life" Now a little back story on him, his second ever girlfriend broke up with him this year (they still live together and still have fights over petty shit), and he isn't doing too great in Uni. He would describe himself as a "realist" in his world outlook, but bear in mind that his dad died early in his life.
I never put too much weight into whole "is the glass half full or half empty" question, but this is perhaps the first time I've ever seen it borne out so vividly in actuality.
This is because I replied honestly: I am having the best year of my life.
My response puzzles even me, because a strong argument could be made that I'm having a shitter year in almost every way: I'm really struggling with depression, making very little progress on transitioning, barely functioning day to day, not attending classes and not getting uni work done.(I could go on but you get the idea)
So I guess what I want to ask you TL, is this the best year of your life? Are you like me in that the current year is usually the best year of your life so far? Are you a pessimist or an optimist? is it possible to be more optimistic?
i'm curious though, you say that you're struggling with depression, having bad unit marks and yet you're still having the best year of your life. why is that? i'm just wondering.
On April 23 2012 12:59 shawster wrote: remember that it's still april, lol.
i'm curious though, you say that you're struggling with depression, having bad unit marks and yet you're still having the best year of your life. why is that? i'm just wondering.
Yeah it is still April, which leads me to two points, there kinda is a little of last year tucked in their too, its sort of based on academic year, but yes in spite of this you are right, I shouldn't focus too much on the past and not forget about the potential for the future.
To your second question; yeah it seems weird doesn't it, this is partly because I didn't mention anything good about this year. I think the explanation lies like this: I am a hopeless optimist, and while nothing categorically good has happened to me this year, I think with other things its a question of perception, yes I'm stressed and depressed, almost every day is a day where I wish I could not feel the way I do (especially in regards to being transgender), but its about action, I'm working through my depression and dealing with the way I feel, and while progress is often slow, and some days I feel like I'm drowning, I comfort myself with the knowledge that what I'm feeling will eventually pass, and that I become a better and happier individual.
So I guess I'm forward thinking this way, that good years are about personal growth.
Nah, the best year of my life was when I lived in Japan. I think most people who has studied abroad for a year has had a similar experience, your normal day to day life just won't be as exciting.
Hard to say it's the best year of my life, but at the same time I've had worse times. I guess I'm finally doing ok in school, but my general health is degrading pretty steadily. I'm learning how to defend myself from myself. At the heart of this lies the pangs of despised love. Oh that undesirable desire! Seems to bring me down every time. There are, though, bright shiny mornings and enterprises of great pith and moment. Times of youthful joy. Of course early childhood was much better. In the end it's better to take arms against the sea of troubles and try to end them.
It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever
So lucky I am that these moments of reflection give birth to new ideas that can move me to warmer vistas. Ah how I long for the sun, the warm wind passing through the trees. Watching from inside my room I see the canopy of oak bounce about and shake to the music of the earth. I can almost feel life. I'm almost there. Reality calls me out of my prison.
EPT
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