Another Breakup Blog -- 4 Months Later - Page 2

triangle

United States3803 Posts

April 16 2012 22:24 GMT

#21

I was in a similar situation to you, and started talking to the girl again too soon. It was not a good idea.

If you want to be friends again (JUST friends) with LA girl, you need to be extremely explicit that you are only interested in friendship. I ended up lurching into a mess of pseudo-relationship bullshit where neither party was sure if we were going out again or not. You should be upfront that you have a new girl and that you are no longer romantically interested in LA girl.

It sounds like that isn't the case, which makes me think you shouldn't talk to your ex until that is the case. If you are still romantically interested in your ex, friendship is a bad idea and planning on using her in case your current relationship goes south is a really bad idea.

Puph

Canada635 Posts

April 16 2012 22:31 GMT

#22

I notice there is a lot of 'fuck her move on' type comments. i think that is a little inappropriate for the situation, lets not act as if we're dealing with a she-devil here. in my experience, acknowledge her existence even if it has to be through facebook. it will get a lot of your back, that i'm almost sure of, and maybe even hers, who knows.

essentially, just do whatever you think will lessen any burdens you may feel and then just be yourself afterwards. once you get back home you can assess the situation further, although i wouldn't stall it until then. good luck!

UniversalSnip

9871 Posts

April 16 2012 23:26 GMT

#23

I have to say if it weren't for the new girlfriend I wouldn't see the conflict here... you broke up not because you weren't a good pair but because you had to move away, so why wouldn't you get back together? What exactly are you supposed to be afraid of?

You have a current relationship and you should either stick with it or get out, not sorta half ass and end up sleeping with your ex while you're dating someone else, but if you break up with your current gf that's the time to go hit that... I don't understand why not.

khaydarin9

Australia423 Posts

April 17 2012 00:24 GMT

#24

On April 17 2012 06:19 trancey wrote:
Thanks for the advice everyone, really.

I'm planning to move back permanently to near her area (LA), currently living in Seattle, to explore job opportunities. I am seeing another girl here, someone much more grounded, going to see where it goes for now.

There's pros and cons of both I haven't mentioned.

My ex is a straight up bombshell, LA princess (9-10 on the looks scale) -- charming personality and humor, we just got along very well. She's also less motivated than I though, still in school but comes from a wealthy family. The fact she was a babe and loved my nerd side really was the attraction I guess.

The latest girl I'm dating is a little older, but a grad student, physician's asst., and dances in a hip-hop group on the side. She's got a lot more going for her actively and has a pretty face... She's not as funny as the ex, but a sweet girl none the less.

I guess I'm going to just keep going with the new girl, and when I'm ready for a move, I'll just hit up my ex and see where shes at.

That you're comparing them seems like a bad sign.

MaV_gGSC

Canada1345 Posts

April 17 2012 01:30 GMT

#25

"Love is an obsession of the other person"

Strong words and so true T_T

yukit

United States6 Posts

April 17 2012 02:06 GMT

#26

With my limited own experience, I say stay away. I don't understand breaks for space or the like. It didn't work out for a reason, despite it being external. I would think there'd be trying to stay together and whatnot.

I also didn't heed anyone's advice and just did what I was going to do anyways, but that depends on the person you are. I probably would go for it and regret it afterwards. Logical me doesn't beat hopeful me.

ETisME

12896 Posts

April 17 2012 02:46 GMT

#27

it's your own feelings. Do whatever you need to follow your heart.
being rational all the time, especially when it comes to love is kind of sad imo

Arcanefrost

Belgium1257 Posts

April 18 2012 15:53 GMT

#28

If you want to get in touch with her again, take the initiative yourself. Even if girls really miss you and want to talk you they do nothing about it until you do something first.

I'd go for the ex btw, she sounds delightful :p

Tommylew

Wales2717 Posts

April 19 2012 11:35 GMT

#29

if she wants you she will make a move for you in theory, but some girls are plain weird where they dont tell you exactly how they are feeling..

but your seeing someone else? if your even thinking about this other girl perhaps you should rethink that? Your ex reminds me of my ex and the more I look back the more im glad its over.. just for the unpredictability, the grounded girl seems the better option as long as she isnt too plain and no fun. Looks arent anyting after all..

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