Good bye friend. I'm leaving you behind in that hole we dug together. You never judged me or thought I wasn't good enough. You never pushed me away when I needed you. But why? Was it for me? You had your intentions, I just wanted the warmth you gave me. You wanted more than that, you wanted all of my attention. You wanted to be my life, not my friend.
You demanded more of me than I ever demanded of you. You didn't push me away when you should have because of your own greed. We are both better off without each other. I'm off to look for real unconditional love. I just want to love and be loved back, with no strings attached, for who I am. I'm thankful for the lessons you taught me, but I don't need you anymore. I learned everything I could from you and I became content to just hang around.
No more pipe dreams, only real dreams. No more wishing I could be. There is no more becoming, there is only "doing" and "not doing". Its time for me to move on with my life and make some progress. Even though I feel like I'm losing a friend by saying good-bye, I know the truth. I'm gaining friends 10 fold by walking away. Most importantly I'm my own friend now. Now I get to learn what I want, when I want and the only excuse I have is myself.
I feel ya bro, after smoking everyday from 13years old to 22, i just quit last year since i was having heart/chest problems, the 1st month is awful, but after that, its as is if it didnt exist, my friends still smoke, and theyl even smoke while were on skype, it doesnt bother me, frankly, my life didnt change at all, sept im playing better at SC2 for the most part, and saving some money. And to add to your post sir, a lyric i always liked:
"I know that im responsible for this, and ill miss you...."
It's cute how you embody a plant and make it seem like it did evil things to hide the fact that in reality you are the only reason weed ''wanted to become your whole life''.
Hahahah I love that movie, good clip. This is actually a good bye letter I wrote for treatment, but I wanted to share it with people as well. And I <3 Mary Jane... But not as much as I love pussy!
On April 12 2012 08:41 Djeez wrote: It's cute how you embody a plant and make it seem like it did evil things to hide the fact that in reality you are the only reason weed ''wanted to become your whole life''.
So chemicals don't affect the way you think or percieve reality? Just to clarify, I don't think weed is evil or has done bad things to me. But my "relationship" with MJ was unhealthy.
On April 12 2012 08:41 Djeez wrote: It's cute how you embody a plant and make it seem like it did evil things to hide the fact that in reality you are the only reason weed ''wanted to become your whole life''.
wow. hes quitting smoking. but you still somehow want to find a way to put him down?
On another note, if you feel like it's hurting your life, it's definitely a good decision to stop. I've never felt such a thing honestly, I do everything better on weed, I even take tests better.
In the words of Justin Timberlake, "Some people are just better with weed, some people aren't."
On April 12 2012 09:00 UndoneJin wrote: Vaporizers ftw, smoking is bad for you kids.
On another note, if you feel like it's hurting your life, it's definitely a good decision to stop. I've never felt such a thing honestly, I do everything better on weed, I even take tests better.
In the words of Justin Timberlake, "Some people are just better with weed, some people aren't."
The fact that Justin Timberlake said it isn't helping your point ; )
I won't argue with you about it though. I will just agree to disagree that you "do everything better on weed"
On April 12 2012 09:00 UndoneJin wrote: Vaporizers ftw, smoking is bad for you kids.
On another note, if you feel like it's hurting your life, it's definitely a good decision to stop. I've never felt such a thing honestly, I do everything better on weed, I even take tests better.
In the words of Justin Timberlake, "Some people are just better with weed, some people aren't."
The fact that Justin Timberlake said it isn't helping your point ; )
I won't argue with you about it though. I will just agree to disagree that you "do everything better on weed"
I thought Justin Timberlake saying it was hilarious because it's actually true. I can understand why it's hard to believe but I really am better at things in general with herb. That's not to say I get baked out of my mind though either, I always aim for moderation for both my brain and my wallet =)
On April 12 2012 09:33 Th1rdEye wrote: Today is the second day not smoking for me as well.. (21 now, started at 15... went a month or two without smoking in that 6 year period)
I've played 28 ladder games and it didnt even feel like it
I do kinda feel better.. but part of me still wants to toke... I just want to keep it in moderation, which is the hard part.
i had pretty bad withdrawl when i first tried to stop.
the second time it was almost no issue. that might partly be because i made a hard effort to quit and focus on more important things in my life.
I haven't smoked in about 5 months (besides 3-4 times with friends, I guess), stopped mostly dead after smoking about 1-2g a day for three years. I didn't really experience any withdrawal, it was more just adjusting to doing everything sober again after being baked for the majority of my time. It's not that difficult, at least compared to quitting drinking or cigarettes.
beautiful man , im going through the same phase since ive stopped smoking after 6 years recently. Especially liked the line: You wanted to be my life not my friend, because thats exactly what im feeling. 5/5
Man idk who downvoted your blog but another 5 stars from me. It just bothers me (like what someone else stated) that your perfectly fine using substance when it clearly hinders you.
On April 12 2012 12:22 Alphonsse wrote: goodbye fadedprobe, hello soberprobe?
Hahahahah yes I have a free name change. Maybe I should use it
On April 12 2012 12:02 FlyingToilet wrote: I just quit smoking too, i am like a week in but it's still a struggle for me ;_;
I have heard that post acute withdrawl symptoms *can* peak at 6-9 months after the last use. I'm not sure how much I believe it. I think if your making other positive changes in your life you could probably not even notice most of them. Its just funny with weed. The whole purpose of using it is to feel euphoric and good, so the natural response to feeling bad, is to use.
I think the best thing you can do is be open with people about it, and even let some of them hold you accountable for using (don't let them degrade you, but be completely honest with them and tell them how you feel, why you felt like you needed to use, and so on). I'm really glad my area has Marijuana Anonymous groups because I like that I can have a bunch of stoners holding each other accountable without judging. I would feel weird going to AA or NA and I hear they are a bit different, even though they are all based on the 12 steps.
I was a heavy isolation smoker, so I feel good that I'm being open and trying to have more relationships (rekindled some old ones). But I still feel really depressed and lonely every day at times. Having a plan and a schedule and just knowing your going to feel that way at times and its natural (when your depriving your body of something it thinks it needs) has helped me though.
It's like drinking. Dont let it become an addiction (even if weed isnt physically addictive, its easy to let yourself fall into a 'lazy' lifestyle where you consume too much) and it'll be something you do when hanging out with friends just to enjoy your time a bit more. When you're at the point where you're actually low on cash because you spent it all buying pot, thats when you need to step back and make sure its not becoming too much. btw I wouldnt believe the withdrawal bullshit, the only thing I felt when i stopped smoking for an extended time after a period of 4-5 months smoking up everyday is that my appetite was ruined for a few days and it was harder to get to sleep. Thats about it.
There are withdrawals but it shouldn't be worse than someone who is abusing alcohol. I smoked 2-3 grams a day for 2-3 years and I was a daily smoker for 4-5 years before that. I have heard that its harder to stop smoking cigarettes. But I think there is a mental part of cannabis addiction thats can be much stronger than with nicotine. There isn't much information on cannabis addiction and the oldest studies on it are only 15 years old. Everyone that has told me that it was easy to stop smoking weed had a cross addiction with alcohol or nicotine and they kept using alcohol or nicotine while abstaining from cannabis. Me personally, I don't drink, and I occasionally and very responsibly used psychedelics. I feel like I have a very strong mental and emotional attachment to THC. Its also very possible that I have some other mental condition that I was self medicating, but I won't really know until I have been clean for an extended period of time : \
My attachment to cigarettes is actually stronger, I had to stop smoking weed for half a year and after the first 2 weeks I barely even thought about it anymore. But if I go a week without smoking cigs it almost becomes like a palpable thirst, and I get more irritable.
I don't think I'll ever 'walk away' from ganja any more than I'd walk away from video games or crossword puzzles. Just because you dont talk to her for a few years, doesn't mean Mary Jane wont always be there for you.
On April 12 2012 14:27 TheAntZ wrote: My attachment to cigarettes is actually stronger, I had to stop smoking weed for half a year and after the first 2 weeks I barely even thought about it anymore. But if I go a week without smoking cigs it almost becomes like a palpable thirst, and I get more irritable.
Some studies say it can be worse than cocaine or heroin addiction ; ). I think a lot of it depends on the person, like there is a gene that helps people metabolize alcohol faster, so some people just naturally need more alcohol than others to achieve the same thing someone else might need. Your friend that chugs way more beers than you, does it because he is a genetically superior drinker.
Edit: And to the post above me. Yes I'd really like to get to a point where I can responsibly enjoy weed, but I'm 23 years old and not very independent (I also stopped going to school because I was working graveyards, smoking before, during, and after school). I don't form good relationships, and my relationship with my family (especially my father) was pretty much ruined by me using. So part of me realistically thinks I might never be able to get there. If I do "walk back" I will do so with the nicest volcano I can buy.
Thanks everyone who is posting, your helping me more than you know, even if you have been less than positive hehehe
I had a similar history with cannabis, and in my early 20s it grew into other drugs (mainly mdma) and i was literally throwing pills down my neck every day for 3-4 years.. now is a good time to quit and sort your shit out before your spiral carries you even further downwards.. trust me on this one from someone in their 30s who still has memory and mood swing issues even though I've been clean for half a decade!
Been smoking since 7 years. Stopped occasionally due to some issues I just had to stop. Realized, with a reason behind you will never think why you stopped or how you feel. It's burned into your brain to NOT do it. So what I want to tell you: Weed has made another person of you cause your society doesn't accept it. That's why you were isolated, smoking alone and so on. Weed does no real bad thing to you except what nearly everything you smoke does (cancer). In fact its' the people around you, drinking on weekends, getting fucking wasted without no proper reason to morph into a fucking monster with no brain and usually shit on his mind that make you feel it is bad for you. However, once you finished your path with MJ I advise you... If you ever think about doing it. Don't. If you ever get the occasion to do and you just think its right now, do it. MJ has this nice effect that it can get you warm, happy, good minded. However people tend to suck in everything they like - Especially MJ - but they forget that life is not suppossed to be all happy and warm. Life is no game, it is hard work. And feeling happy warm is work YOU have to do. No MJ, No MDMA or any other little helper. Your post showed me. You got that Congratulations!
On April 12 2012 12:02 FlyingToilet wrote: I just quit smoking too, i am like a week in but it's still a struggle for me ;_;
I have heard that post acute withdrawl symptoms *can* peak at 6-9 months after the last use. I'm not sure how much I believe it. I think if your making other positive changes in your life you could probably not even notice most of them. Its just funny with weed. The whole purpose of using it is to feel euphoric and good, so the natural response to feeling bad, is to use.
I think the best thing you can do is be open with people about it, and even let some of them hold you accountable for using (don't let them degrade you, but be completely honest with them and tell them how you feel, why you felt like you needed to use, and so on). I'm really glad my area has Marijuana Anonymous groups because I like that I can have a bunch of stoners holding each other accountable without judging. I would feel weird going to AA or NA and I hear they are a bit different, even though they are all based on the 12 steps.
I was a heavy isolation smoker, so I feel good that I'm being open and trying to have more relationships (rekindled some old ones). But I still feel really depressed and lonely every day at times. Having a plan and a schedule and just knowing your going to feel that way at times and its natural (when your depriving your body of something it thinks it needs) has helped me though.
Thanks man, i really appreciate the support the reason i started was actually because of bad parenting, my dad would always smoke it in front of me with his friends and they would blow it in my face like idiots when i was like 10, so when i hung out with my best friend for 3 years it was natural to start getting stoned with him. well news flash now my dad and him are junkies and i just wanna be clean because i was psychologically addicted, always begging my mother for money etc. and i just couldn't take the stress anymore.
I actually don't really think about it anymore, unless i get mad at a starcraft 2 match i typically get all pissy and just wanna toke. But it's dumb for me anyways i had to walk through the straight hood everyday for it to a drug dealers house that had guns lying around. but i am happy now and i don't really wanna go back! :D
I quit two years ago, not smoking anything for about a year. Since then I am finally able to hold everything in balance (this means to me, having weed at home, but not smoking it everyday).
I think weed is all well and good but I know first hand that it can really fuck up your life if you take it too far. Good luck quitting, your life will be better for it, I can't think of anyone I know who quit sincerely and regrets that decision.
It certainly won't solve all your problems but that's life, there is no magic button, but getting out of the haze will allow you to address them properly.
I think it's great that you want to improve yourself and branch out. Best of luck with everything.
I'm honestly surprised by how many of you claim that weed fucked up your life! Maybe it's just a convenient thing to blame and shirk some responsibility for your own life? I get the feeling that cheeseburgers could have fucked your shit up just as severely.
I remember I had a room mate in University who I distinctly remember breaking up some weed on top of his unopened, still-in-its-original-wrapping accounting textbook.
He said something like: "I've got 2 exams tomorrow that I haven't studied for, and I'm failing both classes.......NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM GETTING HIGH THOUGH!"
I refuse to believe that weed was his main obstacle.
For some reason, this thread really really really makes me want to have a cigarette.... O.o
I've gone months without one, and I was never a huge smoker, at most I would have a few a day during the work week in college. It's crazy how addictions can stick with you and pop up when you least expect it.
On April 12 2012 08:07 Wrongspeedy wrote: It can be enjoyed responsibly and is better for you than alcohol.
Well that's somewhat subjective, really depends on how heavily and what type of weed someone is smoking. But safe to say they are both not good for you :/
Weed might not be as psychologically addictive as say alcohol or cigarettes but from what I've seen of my friends who smoke it can be an easy way to avoid the unpleasantness in life. I don't think weed fucks up peoples lives single handedly like heroin can but it, combined with other factors, can lead to overuse much like gaming actually. I don't think anyone is blaming weed for their problems but for some people who can't smoke responsibly can gain much by quitting.
On April 12 2012 10:58 probob wrote: beautiful man , im going through the same phase since ive stopped smoking after 6 years recently. Especially liked the line: You wanted to be my life not my friend, because thats exactly what im feeling. 5/5
yeah it is pretty difficult to find a balance. i always felt stupid when i organized my day after my smoking habits. it is important to have a rhythm in your life, if you just chillin it is nearly impossible to quit smoking i think.
On April 12 2012 10:58 probob wrote: beautiful man , im going through the same phase since ive stopped smoking after 6 years recently. Especially liked the line: You wanted to be my life not my friend, because thats exactly what im feeling. 5/5
yeah it is pretty difficult to find a balance. i always felt stupid when i organized my day after my smoking habits. it is important to have a rhythm in your life, if you just chillin it is nearly impossible to quit smoking i think.
by the way, ich bin ein berliner, too.
yeah i agree its important to have a everyday routine to keep yourself distracted. some people are just abusive characters (like myself) and never know when to stop, and for those its impossible to smoke responsibly. Took me quite a while to really accept that for myself though..
On April 12 2012 09:00 UndoneJin wrote: Vaporizers ftw, smoking is bad for you kids.
On another note, if you feel like it's hurting your life, it's definitely a good decision to stop. I've never felt such a thing honestly, I do everything better on weed, I even take tests better.
In the words of Justin Timberlake, "Some people are just better with weed, some people aren't."
You do know that, once you start smoking, you are in a full life commitment with it. You can't live w/o it.
On April 12 2012 10:36 corpuscle wrote: I haven't smoked in about 5 months (besides 3-4 times with friends, I guess), stopped mostly dead after smoking about 1-2g a day for three years. I didn't really experience any withdrawal, it was more just adjusting to doing everything sober again after being baked for the majority of my time. It's not that difficult, at least compared to quitting drinking or cigarettes.
EPT
Congratulations!
