EPTBut even at this very young age, the desire to compete was building inside her. At the annual Buffalo Beauty Pageant, Scarlett would always groom her pet immaculately and make sure it had the most beautiful sequin buffalo-gown. Sometimes her and her brother Luke Scarlewalker would have races to see who could build a
By the age of 10, she began to get seriously interested in playing hockey. After crafting four hoof-skates for her partner in crime, she began to practice taking shots on her new-found furry goalie. Though it was very difficult for her at first, largely because of the buffalo’s remarkably quick glove
Tragically, Why Would I Have a Buffalo This Doesnt Even Make Any Sense was struck down by a snowmobile shortly after. (Buffalo are, like, really tiny. Right?) Unable to set foot on the ice without being constantly bombarded by painful memories of the times she shared with her buffalo, both on and off the rink, she had no choice but to hang up the hockey stick forever. With that, her seemingly unstoppable breakout in the NHL was brought to a halt.
[Two Minute Pause to Allow Tears to Dry]
But born out of this tragedy was the reason we’re here talking about her today. She finally realized that she had been a nerd trapped in an athlete’s body all along (holy shit am I a freaking genius or what?)! At first she played Dota, where she reached a reasonable level of success. But when did our heroine start to switch over to the game we all know and love?
It started with Luke Scarlewalker, at the time a mid-master Sc2 player himself, and the challenge he issued to his sister. “I bet you 20 million ESPORTS dollars you could never beat me in Sc2.” Minutes later, upon finding an Sc2 disk and installing it on her laptop, the match was on. She quickly 6-0’d him in about 12 minutes and it was from there that she knew she was destined to be great.
The preceding paragraph was actually surprisingly accurate.
It wasn’t long before IPL 4 was announced and the Playhem Sponsor Me tournament quickly followed suit. She quickly beat up a bunch of nerds and collected her free trip to Las Vegas where she would have the chance to prove herself to the world once and for all. For many, this is when the story got interesting. Fortunately for my tired hands, her spectacular escapades here were widely publicized and said feats don’t need exhaustive repetition here. As a quick refresher, she beat Terious and Ddoro before finally falling 1-2 in very close games to Oz. But there was one part of this story that hasn’t been brought to light.
Freshly into the Loser’s Bracket, she found herself face-to-face with EG’s very own Demuslim. As she went to shake his hand before the game, their eyes locked and Scarlett made a very sudden and disturbing realization. This was the man responsible for killing Why Would I Have a Buffalo This Doesnt Even Make Any Sense so many years ago. The man whose face was so distant and unrecognizable at the time of the accident suddenly became clear. “It can’t be,” she thought, but at the same time there was not a doubt in her mind. Trembling with disbelief and piercing memories, the first game started. But where many a lesser player would have folded like a lawn chair, Scarlett was able to ride the adrenaline to a convincing 2-0 thrashing over Demuslim.
Though the events of this tournament could never bring her buffalo back, Scarlett was happy to finally be able to find some consolation for what had happened. Finally bringing the perpetrator to justice (ish, justish if you will), she would be able to move on with her life and reach never before seen levels in Sc2.
Very sadly, this sapped all the energy Scarlett had and, unable to find any Senzu Beans, she would fall in the next round to Golden, thus ending her miraculous IPL run.
This finally brings us to where we are today. Nobody can know for sure how well she will be able to do in her future Sc2 endeavors. But one thing is for certain, if the events in her life leading up to this point are any indication, we’re in for a wild ride!
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*Citation needed on all of it. <3 Scarlett of course so no offense meant with anything etc etc. Make sure to follow her on twitter: www.twitter.com/ScarlettSc2
seriously though, it bordered funny until the second paragraph when it was obvious he thought the first one through, and then not the second one, still the first IM joke made me smile 
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