EPTPart I:
As you all know the 1-1-1 build has been dominating the TvP match-up, killing top players left and right and causing a lot of rage amongst the community.
If you don't know the build because you have been doing a survival challenge on an island in the pacific, this is a memory trick terran players use: It's called 1-1-1 because you only need 3 buildings out of which you make 1 type of unit. So the first 1 stands for a lot of marines, the second for a lot of tanks and the third 1 for a lot of banshees. By using this trick you can severely reduce the risk of forgetting the build and making battlecruisers instead of banshees, use it!
The real question however is: Who invented this and why?
The suspects may shock you, but trust me, they all have their secret motivations.
Trust no one.
Dustin Browder
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/dustin_browder.jpg)
Why he did it:
Browder is the lead designer of the game, if anything happens he knows about it. But why would he do this? Doesn't he slightly prefer to play protoss? The answer is no, he deceived everyone into thinking that. Dustin tells everyone about how much fun he has with protoss, but when he gets home he grabs a big bucket of nachos which he happily consumes while 1-1-1ing poor protosses (you can actually eat nachos with 1 hand and 1-1-1 with the other)
His reasons go much further than this, as I was shocked to discover when I saw this picture.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/KaneConceptArt--screenshot.jpg)
Do you see it now? The ex-command and conquer designer didn't just invent Kane, he IS Kane. Sure the years have changed his face a little but there can be no doubt.
Let me ask you, did Kane use tanks? Yes. Did Kane use cheap infatery? Yes. Did Kane have some sort of flying chopper from the future? Yes. Dustin Browder invented the 1-1-1 not only for ladder points, but for world domination.
David Kim
The second suspect is none other than David Kim aka Dayvie, also a Blizzard employee.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/image-20081011-8ticnos0ey4vdeb31cqr_t570.jpg)
Why he did it:
David Kim's reasons are well hidden, but the information is out there non the less. Let's take a look at his name "D.Kim". D is the 4th letter of the alphabet, K the 11th, I the 9th and M the 13th. If we add these numbers we get 4 + 9 + 11 + 13 = 37. There are 3 "1"'s in "1-1-1", and 1+1+1 is obviously 3, so we multiply 37 by 3. Guess what: 111. Your mind is kind of blown right now isn't it.
This is no longer about ladder points, there is yet again evidence about a worldwide conspiracy theory to command and conquer the world. Guess what game Dustin Browder worked on: Command and Conquer. Not to mention David Kim is Korean, which could mean an alliance between the fastest asians in the world and the people with the most guns in the world. But if such an alliance existed, how could they meet with their associates unnoticed? The question was answered when I turned on the tv, and the world championship of athletics was on. In South-Korea, which brings us to our next suspect.
Tyler Wasielski
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/458px-LiquidTyler-Zoom.jpg)
Why he did it:
World championship of athletics in South Korea? An alliance between the USA and Korea for world domination? What on earth has that got to do with Tyler?
I didn't realize it until watching Tyler's announcement of some crazy challenge on his vlog. He specifically stated that he was going to run a marathon, so it isn't weird at all if he would go watch some athletics! The perfect place for a meeting between Dustin Browder, David Kim and Tyler. But why? For power, because it's never enough. He crushes face in SC for a living but still gets a little down. Why? Because his real goal is conquering the entire world. When Tyler does his challenge, he will ofcourse stream it. Billions of people will be watching him from all over the world. Everyone except Dustin Browder, David Kim and a special ops squad on a secret mission to infiltrate all the nuclear missile sites in the world. With the guards distracted by Tyler, they will obtain control swiftly and without any noticable resistance all the bombs in the world will be in Dustin's hands. It's a plan Kane himself could have invented, and this is the ultimate proof that Dustin is in fact Kane. As stated before Tyler started running again, and he did so before in college. My guess is that he was recruited then, and started a special training program focussing on battle command (by playing bw) and physical strength (by running). But why does he need running? Because at the last minute of his challenge, when everyone is even more clutched to the screen, Dustin and his entourage will proclaim themselves world leaders and launch the nukes. Tyler has exactly 1 minute and 11 seconds to run from his room to his bomb shelter he installed in his basement, that's right 1 minute and 11 seconds: 1-1-1. Tyler's challenge will take place on December 31st and it will end at midnight. The year will be 2012. Wasn't there some indian guy that said the world would end at what year was it? You know this one: 2012. But noone writes it like that, people write M-D-12. 1+2 = 3. 3 = 1 +1 +1. 1-1-1, it's everywhere.
Greg Fields.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/7bUda.jpg)
Why he did it:
But does it end here? Sadly not. Yet another good man was lured by the dark side: Idra. Playing his role as a diplomat to get the Koreans on board beatifully, and then out of the blue going back to the USA to make the final arrangments for their plan: This wouldn't have worked without him. But why? Why did he do it?
Let's take a look at the following theory Idra had in mind before joining in:
1)I hate Protoss.
2)I hate Huk even more than other protosses.
3)I want to kill all protosses, including Huk!
4)Shoot! I need another step!
5)Huk dies.
This is it. The 1-1-1 is step 4! Idra joined the conspiracy, but at one condition: A nuke must be send to kill Huk specifically. Why do you think Idra is going to Korea with Huk again?
To watch him die.
Sounds like a plan an evil genius would invent. Guess what the name of the team is: Evil Geniusses.
As you might have noticed all EG members look alike. Why? They're doppelgangers to protect Idra.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/k0egr.jpg)
No one can keep them apart.
The other missiles will take care of all the remaining protosses in the world. The 1-1-1 strategy is in fact a sadistic joke: It kills protosses ingame, but the REAL 1-1-1 will kill them in real-life.
The truth is hard to capture, but it is real. The only question that remains is: Who is the mastermind behind all this? We need to stop this, and we can only do this by taking away their leader.
So tell me, who do we move against?
Poll: Who is the mastermind?
Dustin Browder (335)
50%
Greg Fields (257)
38%
Tyler Wasielski (43)
6%
David Kim (34)
5%
669 total votes
Greg Fields (257)
Tyler Wasielski (43)
David Kim (34)
669 total votes
Your vote: Who is the mastermind?
(Vote): Dustin Browder
(Vote): David Kim
(Vote): Tyler Wasielski
(Vote): Greg Fields
Part II
5 Months later:
This wasn't supposed to happen...they should be dead...WHY ARE THEY NOT DEAD?!
This... this was not supposed to happen. All protosses should be dead!
Relax Greg. Our plan hes been put on hold for a couple of months. Some idiot on tl exposed us, but if we wait long enough it will look like a joke post. The ignorant fools, we shall bath in the rivers of their blood soon enough.
This is unacceptable. You said they would be dead Browder!
I did. And they will die. The time has come my friend. The game has begun, it's win or die now. The pieces already moved agaisnt huk. Our agent terious took him down swiftly. He even dropped a game to make sure no one would suspect a thing. It won't be long before Huk is dead, you want that right? Just hold on for a little longer Greg, it will all be over soon.
Huk will be dead? Yes... I can do that. I will hold on for a little longer. Just a couple of days...
Hello my friends. The above conversation was transmitted to me by my mole in the EG house. We were victoious a couple of months ago, but now they have returned. They're everywhere, they're angry, and they want all protosses dead. Scared? You should be.
I have established a resistance movement with the finest agents in the world. We will stop them. This is the plan.
Avenge: The Kingslayer
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/AvengeGSTL.jpg)
Think avenge is just some average korean Protoss? Think again. This is just a disguise.
He's like James Bond, but cooler more handsome and deadlier.
What Avenge really looks like:
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/jung-woo-sung-athena.jpg)
Avenge on a magazine cover. Just because he can.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/jung-woo-sung-81129001.jpg)
Recruited for 1 purpose: Stop Idra from winning the GSL. How do you do that? You win the GSL yourself. Don't even need to watch future GSL's, this guy will win them all.
Want proof? Who do you think knocked Idra to code B? Avenge. What race does avenge play? Protoss, happens to be the race they want to exterminate. Coincidence? Of course not I just explained it all.
"Yay, avenge is our hero he will save us all! "
Wrong. We cannot rely on one person, even though avenge is ruggedly handsome, I didn't put all of my eggs in his basket.
EGincontrol: The Mole
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/InControl.jpg)
If you want to defeat your enemy, you have to know his plan.
Incontrol is a world class spy. He infiltrated the EG training house, and lived amongst the breathing devils Idra, Machine and Demuslim ( demuslim is also brittish, imagine what a satanic creature that must be).
"But Arcie, why didn't you pick Huk? He's in Korea, and he's a lot smaller. He can hide everywhere."
First of all I don't want you to call me Arcie. Huk was a target, he couldn't be saved. Sorry bro, terious is a monster.
As you all probably read a picture of incontrol ended up on a porn site.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/33645_712880135528_19706356_39849864_217928_n.jpg)
What's up with that? I'll tell you: it's a heroic tale of brave incontrol who fought the 111 conspiracy. This is what happened that day.
Geoff, EG Training House Arizona USA 2:23 AM
"Arcane this is Geoff, I got their plan but it's encoded. I'm sending it to you, but it will take like 15 minutes. Don't worry about me, everyone thinks I'm laddering. If they walk in on me I just act like I'm making an online scrapbook for Anna. If that fails I can always act like I was searching for porn."
"Copy that Geoff, we got your back. Aiur always pays its debts."
The sound of a door opening was almost unrecognizable, but it was there. Geoff knew what to do. This is what he was born for.
As Geoff slowly spinned his chair around, the unmistakeable face of Machine appeared. Bodyguard and doppelganger of Idra, highly dangerous.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/shrew_eg_machine2.jpg)
"Hey Geoff, what are you doing up so late?"
"Just making a scrapbook for Anna."
"Cool, I LOVE scrapbooks. Can I help?"
"O don't worry about it man. I'm almost done. I'm gonna go for the picture of us together, the one where she wears that yellow dress. That's the last one, got it covered just gotta press order scrapbook now."
"Too bad. Let me know next time you're making a scrapbook. I love scrapbooks man.
Why aren't you ordering it?"
"Euhm...gonna wait till tomorrow, maybe it will be on discount then."
"It says 50% off today only. You should go for it fast man!"
" It's fine, maybe tomorrow it will be 75%."
"Are you insane press order man, 50% is huge! Gonna make some scrapbooks myself!"
There was desperaty in the way Geoff moved his finger toward his mouse, and finally pressed order scrapbook.
"Nice dude, only 299,99 now. Why did you take the 500page version when 1000 is also an option? I always take the maximum allowed, can't get enough of scrapbooking man.
Gonna make some scrapbooks myself, cya tomorrow."
"Goddammit, I just spend 300 dollars on a 500page scrapbook with only one picture in it. Only 10 minutes remaining, this can't go wrong."
As those words left his mouth a sightly drunk, brittish guy appeared in the doorframe. Demuslim, another Idra doppelganger/bodyguard.
2:28 AM
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/5806772301_587f882542_z.jpg)
"GEOFFIEEEEEE, WHAT'S UP MILORD. What do you have going on there, mate?
"O jeez, this is so embarassing I was looking for porn."
"Mate, I'm very drunk but I think that makes sense. I often think of it as watermelon juice. No one has ever tasted watermelon juice, but would love to try it. I'm thinking about opening a watermelon bar, with a watermelon theme park next to it. You could enjoy rides, eat watermelons and drink watermelon juice all day. I'd call it "Benjamin's Watermelon Park"..."
"Dude, could you please stop. This is really awkward."
"YOU DON'T LIKE MY THEMEPARK DON'T YOU!? BLOODY AMERICAN PUSSY, "BENJAMIN'S WATERMELON PARK IS A BLOODY BRILLIANT BLOODY IDEA MATE."
"Take it easy, I love the watermelon idea. Just leave the room please this is awkward."
"Oh. Sorry mate kind of lost it. So you do think it's a great idea?"
"Yes, it's awesome. Can't wait to go watermelonriding, but now you need some sleep, let's go to bed."
Ok Arcane, he's out. This cannot possibly go wrong, victory is ours!
2:37 PM
Things went wrong. The unthinkable happened, in came ... *gasp* the GRACKEN.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/news-idra.jpg)
"Well, well. Who do we have here. Geoff Robinson. What are you doing here in the middle of the night? You don't have any secrets to hide I hope? That would be...most dissapointing."
There was no plan for this. He already used the scrapbook and the porn excuse. Improvisation was his only option.
"Just making a scrapbook for Anna."
"Don't be ridiculous you hate scrapbooks. Remember how you said you don't want anything that uses glue because horses are such magnificent beasts who deserve a peaceful afterlife. Show me what's on your screen."
Geoff slowly moved away, inch by inch the screen became visible.
"Ah gross geoff that's disgusting. Why are you watching porn in our house? Fucking disgusting man."
"You got me, jeez this is embarassing."
"Wait a minute. If you're not making a scrapbook then what are all these pictures doing here?"
Idra leaned forward and started reading.
" "Upload your own picture to our site." Wait a minute...are you uploading pictures of yourself to pornsites? That's highly disturbing. you're sick, why would you do this?"
"You got me. I get arroussed by uploading photos of myself to pornsites. God, when you think things can't get anymore embarassing am I right? Haha."
"This isn't funny. How long have you been doing this? Wait... you didn't upload any pictures of me did you? Show me what you've done."
"It's nothing just did this one picture of me and Anna."
"Get help Geoff. Seriously get help."
He's gone. The data is secured. Did have to put a picture of myself on a porn site. It's a really shady one so there's no way teamliquid will ever find out haha."
5 MINUTES LATER
Teamliquid finds out
The next morning the world was still there because of Incontrol. Also for some unexplainable reason Machine received 50 scrapbooks about water melons, and 1 about kittens. His scrapbook about little bunnies is still missing today.
Part III
2 Months Later:
A chill morning breeze went through the Blizzard Office and made men shiver like it was the breath of death itself. None of them believed in the characterization of death as a person, but if one man would be able to alter their minds on that it would be Dustin Browder. Cold as ice he sat there waiting behind the massive glass walls of his office. When the door opened and Idra came marching in, there was nothing but silence left in the world. The Gracken's footsteps echoed through the enormous hallway as every one of them brought him closer to his target. He entered Browder's office, and at long last death had found a worthy opponent.
"Why is Huk not dead."
"Greg, my friend, things are in motion. All we need now is to wait for the right moment."
"Patience is a useful skill to have, but it's not one I possess. I told you to kill him. He is not dead. What would you do when someone stabs you in the back like that, when someone disobeys you and shows no signs of true loyalty to your cause, when someone fails to meet an arrangement?
When a bird flies too high you cut its wings. And I'm here to cut yours, old friend."
"Come on Greg, this isn't necessary...NO PLEASE GOD NO.... YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS...I'LL GET RID OF HIM...I SWEAR!
"You're tongue has casted too many lies, try not to add more before you meet your maker."
Darkness covered the world. Winds of winter blazed to the bone. Slowly the ordinary Greg Fields turned into a monster beyond compare. The Gracken was here. As Dustin met his final moment, as he unleashed his final breath onto the world and stared into the cold green eyes of his killer; he saw the true master of death.
Hello, my friends. 2 months have passed since the last message, and much has changed. The fact that for once a Terran didn't win the gsl can be considered a small victory, but as longs as protosses die to the 111 this war isn't over. We are battling hard, and recently we put one of our most brilliant schemes in motion. To explain it all, we have to go back in time and go through the secret information provided by our ally in the Slayers house.
The SPY
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/tumblr_m1nw0hiGGr1qjrtnlo5_500.jpg)
Huk has been a spy since the very founding of our organization, even leaving TL for EG in order to keep an eye on Idra. Recent changes in leadership at the enemy camp put his life at risk.
This is his story.
Slayers Team House, February-March Events:
When Idra first joined the Slayers house everyone suspected he would move against Huk, but there was a long period of silence on that part. Huk was practicing next to TaeJa, the 111 expert and highly dangerous. Idra was all the way on the other side of the house, and was ofcourse just waiting for the right moment to strike. After a 14 hours of laddering he suddenly realized Huk's room didn't have any detection at all. The fool would die easily to a Dark templar rush! Idra left nothing to chance and installed a trap wire on Huk's chair to knock him over, tie him to his chair and make a giant bowl of superglue fall over him to mend his face together with the ground; then the Dts would be unleashed and Huk would be chanceless!
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/taeja.jpg)
TaeJa moments before hell would break loose.Idra hid in the closet of the room, waiting for Huk to start practicing again. Sadly for Idra Huk went karaoke singing with TaeJa and they didn't return for two days because they were completely high on free icecream.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/acb9f310f209ff30bb502aec1cfc98d4.jpg)
A night to remember.
When he finally entered the room Idra's eyes were filled with an undescribable feeling of joy and cruelty. Huk moved towards the chair, sat down, and then hell broke loose. Idra could hear the screaming form behind the closet door and appeared ina dramatic fashion. To his surprise it wasn't Huk but TaeJa who was trapped on the ground and squealing, the unfortunate boy proposed to swap desks just minutes before. The Dark Templars were still in the room however, and Huk had no detection.
"HAHHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO DETECTION FOOL! GO DARK TEMPLARS, SLAY HIM DEAD!
Huk was still high on free ice cream, and didn't quite realize that there was no such thing as dark templars in real-life. He started screaming like a little girl and running around in circles for 10 minutes. After this Idra realized the fact that Huk was still alive could only mean that the Dark Templars weren't following his orders at all, and more importantly: He didn't have any detection either. In response to this sudden epiphany of dark templars gone rogue in a room without detection he started screaming like a little girl and running around in circles as well, unfortunately they were trampling poor TaeJa in the process.
After 15 long minutes, especially for TaeJa, a mysterious shadow entered the room. This caused even more fear, and in the case of TaeJa even more getting trampled.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/65-slayers_boxer_rakaka.jpg)
The mysetrious shadow was luckily the ruggedly handsome Boxer, who quickly noticed the syndrome of confusing Starcraft with reality which all of his players suffered from.
"Relax guys, I have a scan!"
Boxer started saying "BWEEPEDWEEPEDWEEP" and quickly spinned around like a helicopter with his arms stretched .
"See, no dts I scanned and killed them. You guys can relax. Wait, why is TaeJa tied to his deskchair and glued to the ground face first?"
The Last Supper:
That night the Slayers Team was enjoying a nice meal togther with the oGs team. The tension between Huk and Idra was slightly reduced because Boxer made them play co-op mario games all afternoon. They were definetely the worst team in history, but after the countless failing of even the easiest levels Idra was too mentally broken to do anything.
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/lastsupper.jpg)
Like this but with Boxer instead of Jesus. Actually Jesus is a historic mix-up with Boxer and the name Jesus should be replaced by Boxer in every story, painting or song.
The dinner was aboslutely amazing, I mean ofcourse it was because Boxer was there, but this time it was even more astonishing than usual. They had the most delicious supper and afterwards they all got a bananasplit for dessert.
All was well untill Boxer told about what happened with Huk and Idra today, and how he had to scan to free them. He re-acted the way he spinned around like a helicopter, but sadly that wasn't the best idea in a room filled with people who just played Starcraft for 15 hours. MMA sadly mistook poor TaeJa's head for an observer, and punched him really hard. After he dropped to the ground he unleashed a triumphant shriek.
This made Inca realize that there wasn't any detection left to stop his dark templars. He tied his banana to a wooden stick and used it as a scythe. Inca sadly mistook poor Taeja's round head and rectangle-ish body for a missile turret and decided that he had to take it out as soon as he could. The other terrans in the room wanted to help him but realized that at least one of them would get taken out by the vile scythe if they tried to attack Inca, so they just repaired TaeJa. Of course unlike scvs their hands weren't tools and all they did was tickle him.
While Taeja was being tickled and beaten with a banana scythe Boxer decided that he had to intervene, while Jessica made KRIEPWIEP sounds to enact a Raven MMA noticed that he could just kill the dt with his banshee and take no risk of getting hurt. Inca saw this and ran away, and sadly for poor TaeJa he got hit by two flaming pineapples. Not only do flaming pineapples generally hurt like hell, they also don't go well together with excessive amounts of superglue.
Sadly for poor TaeJa his flaming head reminded the Terrans of a colossus, and they threw double books, plates, forks, burning knives and everything that even remotely looked like a vikings laser torpedo at him. They did put out the flames; but double books, plates, forks and flaming knives generally hurt like hell as well. The shrieking sound of pain that bursted out of TaeJa's mouth looked a lot like a baneling explosion, making the terrans inject themselves with unknown fluid containing syrengues and running around to various corners of the room while shouting RATATATATATATA. This sudden change from vikings to marines made them realize they could do anything they wanted, and like any starcraft player they were quick to abuse this imbalance. Sadly for poor Taejae they all picked banshee and threw flaming pineapples at him, after all his circular burned head did quite look like a sporecrawler.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
TaeJa's scream stopped everyone.
YOU ALL CRAZY!!!! CRAZY!!!!! ONLY FOREIGNER HUK AND IDRA NORMAL!!!! ALL REST THROW PINEAPPLE!!!! CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!! I JOIN FOREIGN TEAM!!!!!!
The next day:
![[image loading]](http://i1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff443/Arcanefrost/TaeJa-1.png)
When he arrived in the USA the cab driver mistook him from that other 111 master Puma, and drived him all the way to the EG house in Arizona.
He was quite amazed by the beautiful house, and already felt completely at home. As he stepped out of the cab a mailman arrived.
"Hi there, we received an order of 502 scrapbooks to this adress 2 months ago, and the one about little bunnies got lost. Are you the crazy person that ordered this?"
TaeJa's English was limited so he decided to smile, wave and nod. It's a number's game.
"Yep, that sounds about right. Enjoy."
After a week EG realized they only had one Korean 111er, but by mistake they threw out Puma. It wasn't untill Nazgul brought the police and accussed them of kidnapping that TaeJa finally reached his true home.
One of the 111 experts is now in the USA, for keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not only was he brought here by our devious scheme, he will also be assassinated by one of his own. For someone is missing a bunny scrapbook, and he will stop at nothing to get it.
