EPT
For Preventing the Poor Children of Central Africa
From Being Abducted by Joseph Kony and the LRA,
And for Making Them Beneficial to the World
by p4NDemik
It is a somber and morose sight that the privileged
of the world must be subject to seeing news stories,
documentaries, and altogether depressing depictions
of the poverty of the peoples of Central Africa and the
suffering children are forced to endure in Northern Uganda,
Southern Sudan, the Democratic Republic of the Congo,
and the Central African Republic. Children are abducted,
their families killed, and forced to fight in wars that are not
their own, only to come back to a life of squalor when
they put down their arms.
It is readily apparent and I think recognized world-wide
among countries of affluence and knowledge that these
regions of the African continent are in a detestable state
and that we cannot allow this to continue. It is of the
utmost importance that these children are integrated
into the global economy and consciousness. It would so
well serve the world that we could build great towers of
steel to house the first organizations to solve this
conundrum and act as preserver of the world.
My objective is hardly constricted by the narrow-minded
idea that we should simply give those children without
parents or family a roof over their heads or food to sustain
them. As to myself, I have poured over this subject for
nearly a week and tested all methods of reaching an
acceptable solution rigorously. I have seen the thoughts
of several other posters on the great forums of the internet,
and considered the validity of their claims. I have found all
those ideas to be quite off-base and formed under pretenses
that are not true. I am convinced that these children have a great
deal to contribute to the global well-being, a brilliant lot,
filled with ingenuity.
So, I look now to bring my own ideas into the spotlight,
and I hope they will be received with very little
consternation or ill-will.
I have been told with great persuasive vigor by a group
called the "Invisible Children," that we should do everything
we can to relieve Joseph Kony of his weary life on earth.
I suggest we do so by filling the lot of Central Africa with as
many arms as we possibly can. All donations, every penny
should go forward to putting a rifle in the hand of every
parent of sub-Saharan Africa. For years we build up these
arms until this Kony fellow has perished, by the bullet,
old age or illness. From there we shall do what
truly needs to be done and start an international war
the likes of which Central Africa has not seen the conquests
of the Colonial Era. In short time we can only hope
that as many parents as possible have perished, leaving
us will millions of those industrious youths who are in
need of creative, productive, outlets.
In my calculations I have guesstimated that a local African
conflict could free up as many 5 million youths. From there,
using the influenced garnered by our years of military aid
our multi-national corporations can set up work-aid centers
where these orphans are housed, fed, and given productive
activities to practice. The children are freed from parental
constraint, liberated, and integrated into a global system
that benefits all.
I have discussed this idea with many of my American colleagues
and they have assured me that Nikes made by African
children are of the like wearing slippers made of silk while still
surviving the wear and tear of daily use unlike any shoe
you have ever worn. Wares, garments, and tools of all sorts
made by those daft young hands are proclaimed to be of
of the utmost quality.
I talked with a very distinguished man of great
intellectual quality and he postulated that within 50 years
the generations of people that our hulking corporations have
so generously employed for years and years in Asia and
Latin America will soon be dissatisfied with their means
within the the booming economies that surround them.
He then surmised that sometime within this century the
great majority of upstanding companies of the world will
have turned their focus to these children.
In short matter many other ills that beset the African continent
can be greatly reduced. The number of those infected by the
AIDs virus will be greatly reduced after the older generations
have perished from the war. A great problem of recent years has
been of famine and a lack of food to feed those impoverished
children, with this solution the demand for food stores will
be sure to fall in line with supply and reach a happy
equilibrium where all children's bellies are full.
I see no objections that can be raised to this course of
action. Therefore we shall no longer allow any nation
to engage in means of aid such as: educating the
young peoples of the Congo, Central Africa, and
Uganda, providing them with the means and knowledge
necessary to provide for themselves, or making sure
that diseases such as malaria are expunged from the
landscapes that these children call home. Obviously
these are naive and futile ventures that will not serve
to aid these young people.
So, now I firmly stand before you and claim I have no
more to gain than any of you fine gentlemen or any of
those brilliant young children in Africa. I humbly believe
this to be the strongest plan presented to empower
these kids and bring about positive change for the planet.
The End
