The movie Annie Hall struck me pretty damn hard, I relate with Woody Allen in that movie more than any man would ever want to. For anyone who hasn't seen it, the main character's reoccurring theme in relationships is he can't understand why the girls he takes interest to return the interest back to him. If things go well, he puts it up to himself in some way or another to destroy it with this mindset that he has.
It is suffice to say that this is more or less the exact mindset that I also have about relationships.
There's a girl that I've been talking to and she's gorgeous, she really is. I know everyone thinks the girls they're into are pretty, but even if she turned out to be some crazy succubus, I would still at least give credit to her beauty. And to be totally honest, if her personality did suck, things would be a lot easier since I could just up and drop it pain free, but she doesn't.
But here's where I fuck things up.
We met at a party and hit it off really well. We kept in touch and met up a few days after and had a pretty good time, nothing particularly spectacular occurred, but it was a good night. Our schedules both with school and work have made things pretty challenging to meet up, so other than one other quick coffee we haven't seen much of each other. But to be totally honest, that's probably just a copout. We'll shoot texts back and forth and flirt and that’s all fine, but I get pretty nervous when the time comes to make some actual plans. I just can't understand why she’s into me; very often I'll justify what is obvious flirting on her part as something vastly more platonic. This kills me. It's not like I'm some huge pessimist thought either, I feel like I've got a lot going for me. I'm fit, doing well in school, employed with a decent job, and a pretty good person if I do say so myself. With that being said though, I really get down on myself about my close group of friends splitting up and going their separate ways while I sit with my thumbs up my ass at a community college. There's people that I "kick it" with but they're not my brothers. It's reasonably justifiable from my perspective, but I maybe from the outside it might not look so good.
I'm rambling on a bit and I can tell so I guess I'll wrap it up, if I had a real purpose to writing this blog I've since forgotten it. I suppose, like many others on the blogs of TL, I just wanted to get this stuff out.
In short, I'd love to be able to be upfront and just say, "Hey, you're a pretty cool person and I'd love to take things more seriously and see where they go," but I'll be damned if that wouldn't be tough. Expect a follow-up in a week or so, hopefully I'll have something to say by then.
On January 21 2012 09:12 let_FLY wrote: Ugh, give me a minute, premature post.
edit: probably a bit more then a minute...
Don't worry, man, it happens to all of us sometimes. Just relax, and don't try to stress out about it. It's a normal thing and you were probably just too excited.
It's fine, I'm looking forward to it :D But maybe you can explain this to me, I'm not sure I get it right:
the main character's reoccuring theme in relationships is he can't understand why the girls he takes interest to return the interest back to him. If things go well, he puts it up to himself in some way or another to destroy it with this mindset that he has.
So, do you mean that he can't believe that a woman is actually into him and sets off to destroy her interest in him because he thinks he's not worth it or am I totally wrong here?
On January 21 2012 09:12 let_FLY wrote: Ugh, give me a minute, premature post.
edit: probably a bit more then a minute...
Don't worry, man, it happens to all of us sometimes. Just relax, and don't try to stress out about it. It's a normal thing and you were probably just too excited.
I've though the same thing many times good sir... What I was told by the prom queen when I was dating her was just enjoy the time you have, don't question why I like you and why you like me the point is that we like each other... Focusing on the why is missing the good juicy details of her liking you. So just go with it dude also talk to her and try to get a date ir go to a movie ir something... admiring her from afar doesn't get you a date just makes you look like a creeper.
@let_Fly what actually happened? Did she actually take interest in you? The internet is begging to hear more details about your personal life.
Also, regarding the issue you described, perhaps you want to do things you would be proud of? Figure out what you think is impressive, then start working towards it. You'd be surprised at how impressive you are when you really work towards it.
Haha sorry to everyone who's late to the thread, it's what could possbily considered more "complete" now.
On January 21 2012 09:19 missefficiency wrote: It's fine, I'm looking forward to it :D But maybe you can explain this to me, I'm not sure I get it right:
the main character's reoccuring theme in relationships is he can't understand why the girls he takes interest to return the interest back to him. If things go well, he puts it up to himself in some way or another to destroy it with this mindset that he has.
So, do you mean that he can't believe that a woman is actually into him and sets off to destroy her interest in him because he thinks he's not worth it or am I totally wrong here?
Precisely, obviously he won’t go out and dump the girl because she's into him, but things always just seem to happen to destroy the relationship.
On January 21 2012 09:46 talontromper wrote: I've though the same thing many times good sir... What I was told by the prom queen when I was dating her was just enjoy the time you have, don't question why I like you and why you like me the point is that we like each other... Focusing on the why is missing the good juicy details of her liking you. So just go with it dude also talk to her and try to get a date ir go to a movie ir something... admiring her from afar doesn't get you a date just makes you look like a creeper.
I actually really like that a lot. You've missed a lot of the details coming in early, but that advice really helps. I was hesitant about writing this but words like that help.
"Hey, you're a pretty cool person and I'd love to take things more seriously and see where they go,"
You got the perfect quote right there. Just tell her that. Take all your courage and make her blush and smile. I sure would if someone had told me that when I was younger.
Precisely, obviously he won’t go out and dump the girl because she's into him, but things always just seem to happen to destroy the relationship.
Things just don't happen. They happen because we don't do anything about it. So: until you're stopping these things from happening, this thing does not happen This thing being a real relationship. Why she's into you? She doesn't need a reason, neither do you. Just enjoy it.
It's an interesting dynamic. Sabotaging ones own happiness. I've been there. Can't for the life of me remember what the hell i was thinking. Fear? Its all so damn stupid in hindsight.
That movie also sounds familiar... i don't watch a lot of movies but i feel like that's one of the few i have seen.
Just go out and say it, it really is a win win situation. If she is intrested and goes for it you'll be asking in joy, if she says shes not intrested it gives you some closure. Just don't get suckered into some stupid response thats a yes/no, i've had to many of those and it just tears you apart. Now if only i could find a girl... poor university life sucks.. lol
On January 21 2012 09:12 let_FLY wrote: We met at a party and hit it off really well. We kept in touch and met up a few days after and had a pretty good time, nothing particularly spectacular occurred, but it was a good night. Our schedules both with school and work have made things pretty challenging to meet up, so other than one other quick coffee we haven't seen much of each other. But to be totally honest, that's probably just a copout. We'll shoot texts back and forth and flirt and that’s all fine, but I get pretty nervous when the time comes to make some actual plans. I just can't understand why she’s into me; very often I'll justify what is obvious flirting on her part as something vastly more platonic. This kills me. It's not like I'm some huge pessimist thought either, I feel like I've got a lot going for me. I'm fit, doing well in school, employed with a decent job, and a pretty good person if I do say so myself. With that being said though, I really get down on myself about my close group of friends splitting up and going their separate ways while I sit with my thumbs up my ass at a community college. There's people that I "kick it" with but they're not my brothers. It's reasonably justifiable from my perspective, but I maybe from the outside it might not look so good.
Only thing I saw in the whole blog. In all seriousness, you are just thinking way too much and just go with it. Enjoy it while it last
She likes you, for whatever reason. The reason actually doesn't matter, but more the fact that dhe likes you. So jsut enjoyi it while you can. You've pretty muh outlined the perfect thing to say, so you should just go for it and say it. Hell, if she says no then your worries are weirdly sorted out. If she says yes, win!
You have big self-confidence issues. Just do what people usually do, compensate in some way (exercising, being a know-it-all), it won't harm you in any way.
Edit: actually, here's a little story. Ever since I left high school, I've been dating the love of my life. She's perfect. She was one of the hottest girls in high school ans is one of the most precious persons I've met so far. At the time, being a teenager and all that, I couldn't really accept the fact that she was into me. But looking back, I was one of the smartests kids in my whole school, and I was ripped on top of that. My friends would call me Schwarzy (short for Schwarzeneger) but I never realized I really had an amazing body until later, when I eventually lost it to bad habits, bad eating and no exercising at all.
However, after loosing that teenage angst, I became able to appreciate my qualities and realize I was a pretty cool person. It also lets you see what is truly wrong with you instead of thingking "Omfg everything!". And with that mindset, I have now the objective of reclaiming what was once mine, a sharp mind in a hardened body! The body being the hardest part. :p
So, if you feel like you don't deserve the attention, take a look back, and realize that this itself is a big problem that will hinder your progress in all aspects of life. You need to do what it takes to become a confident person.
The fact that you're a member of TL and not failing school (or not getting fired from a job) due to lack of sleep due to too much eSports in your life is more than enough reason that you're an awesome person. You're awesome, I'm awesome, that's right, I'm also awesome, but apparently for that lucky girl that you're eyeing on, you're the one for her.
You have the right mindset here. Tell her like it is - you like her and you want to make her yours. I'm sure you know how to deliver, good luck!
On January 21 2012 09:12 let_FLY wrote: In short, I'd love to be able to be upfront and just say, "Hey, you're a pretty cool person and I'd love to take things more seriously and see where they go," but I'll be damned if that wouldn't be tough.
You're right. It is tough. But it's also incredibly easy. You said it all in 19 words, but the problem is that you told a web community instead of telling her. This may come off as harsh, but I think you need to hear it:
Stop making BS excuses for yourself and stop being such a pussy. Go tell her how you feel. What you wrote above was perfect.
On January 21 2012 09:12 let_FLY wrote: In short, I'd love to be able to be upfront and just say, "Hey, you're a pretty cool person and I'd love to take things more seriously and see where they go," but I'll be damned if that wouldn't be tough.
You're right. It is tough. But it's also incredibly easy. You said it all in 19 words, but the problem is that you told a web community instead of telling her. This may come off as harsh, but I think you need to hear it:
Stop making BS excuses for yourself and stop being such a pussy. Go tell her how you feel. What you wrote above was perfect.
Exactly! Just do it! It's hard and can be uncomfortable but it is so so so worth it. I wish you all the best but seriously just step up and do it!
EPT
also talk to her and try to get a date ir go to a movie ir something... admiring her from afar doesn't get you a date just makes you look like a creeper.
This thing being a real relationship. Why she's into you? She doesn't need a reason, neither do you. Just enjoy it.
