EPTI'm in a bit of a predicament. And before any of you jump on me, it's not another girl thread. Girls are the least of my worries and I have other people I can whine to about that. So you guys are spared from that.
The problem I'm discussing is fairly common though. In case my title didn't give it away, it has to do with my current major in school. Right now, I'm an Asian Studies major, dealing with the Orient and with a specific focus on contemporary issues/politics.
But before we delve into the problem, I feel like I need to explain my backstory (hence the wall of text disclaimer at the top of this post).
I wasn't always an Asian Studies major. When I started college (for the sake of specifics, we'll say it's a SUNY; a NY state university, and leave it at that), I was a biology major. I loved biology ever since I was in middle school.
But for some reason, that changed while I was in college. I don't know whether it was because the program was just too cutthroat or because the professors couldn't teach (in all honesty, they do know their material, but teaching is not their forte; TAs were far better at this kind of stuff), but in the end, I just couldn't take it anymore. What I just typed seems like I'm fishing for excuses, but I'm not. I messed up extremely hard, and in the end, 95 to 99 percent of the blame lies with me and me alone. I just lost all motivation towards the field.
During this time, I began exploring other fields of study to see if there was something that was truly for me. I dabbled in psychology, philosophy, economics, engineering, among other fields to see if there was anything at all. There wasn't, and as a consequence of my lethargic mindset, I ended up with a failing cumulative GPA and a probation by the school. One more semester of a sub-2.0 GPA and I would be suspended. Heck, even a 2.0 wouldn't have saved me.
I was ready to drop out after the spring semester of my sophomore year and just look for a job. I was merely wasting my parents money (I can never repay them enough for all their sacrifices for as long as I live, and it saddens me greatly that it became like this) and my own time. But I vowed to finish strong, and took a few courses which would boost my GPA. One of them would happen to be a political course on historical and modern Asia. Another would happen to be beginner's Japanese; a language I had wanted to learn in the first place but never could because high school had just the basic Spanish and French.
At first, I wasn't too interested in the class, since we were dealing with prehistory up to the Shang and Zhou Dynasties. But as we progressed, I became more and more engrossed with the various topics, ranging from how Wang Yangming's ideals played a role in the downfall of the Ming Dynasty to the success of Japanese zaibatsus in comparison to Western capitalism to contemporary politics in South Korea.
As a result, I began taking more and more courses in Asian Studies, switching over officially by my spring semester of junior year. Since then and currently, my 1.96 GPA had risen substantially, due to successive semesters of 3.6+ GPAs. I studied out of my own volition and during my own free time, as opposed to waiting until midterms or finals week like I had originally done. It was amazing how much a little interest goes a long way.
But now that I'm in my final year (I'm attending fall/winter 2012 as well because I switched midway) and on winter break, I'm reflecting and looking to my future, and it is now that we begin delving into the heart of my problems.
When we examine my major, the first thing one would ask me is: what do you plan on doing with that major? It's an extremely valid question, not just for this major, but for all humanities related majors. And when one thinks about it, the answers that come out are very limited. They usually involve research, or teaching. There's very little else one can do with it, especially without the protection of a secondary major, such as business or science. Even the teaching prospects are limited, as it's not a widely taught subject like English or History.
It was something I hadn't thought about at the time when I switched into it, and I regret it immensely. I acted out of impulse and selfishness (selfishness because I did not discuss this decision with my family; my parents nearly kicked me out of the house when they found out. I don't blame them. They should have done so). I love the material, but I have to think about my future.
Here, we move onto another aspect of my problems: when I graduate, I will be slapped with a substantial debt. Being a resident of NY and attending a state university reduced my costs considerably as opposed to my friend who pays triple my tuition for being from Virginia (if you see this, hi), but because of my abysmal first two years, I have lost a lot of support in the form of scholarships. I'm grateful for my grants, but the debt is still nothing to scoff at, especially when one comes from a family with a single working parent who earns less than $30k a year. Add another sibling who entered college last semester and you go lower than rock bottom. At least she's not as stupid as me and is dead set on what she wants to do. Thank goodness for small miracles.
Because of this monetary problem, graduate schools/programs are all but out of the question, which closes off one of the only routes that someone with a major like mine can steer themselves toward. Even teaching as a professor would require a master's degree or a doctorate. Essentially, this was a dead end major and I ended up wasting aforementioned money and time anyway.
But the time for crying over spilt milk is gone. I have regretted my choices, my stupidity and my lack of foresight and I still do. However, I need to continue on with my life, even if it means I have to struggle every step of the way. The first step is plainly obvious: finish this semester strong. What happens after this semester, however, is a question mark. These are my options:
1. Get a job after I leave college. This is the most basic option of them all. But everything comes with a catch. And here's the catch: The last time I worked was freshman year. I have no experience working since then, and even then, my work was menial, such as tending to the cash register and handling deliveries. No employer is going to want to hire a kid with minimal work experience and a poor educational history. I realize that GPA isn't the tell-all determining factor in this matter, but it would at least help to have something to make my paper look somewhat more attractive.
2. Finish my semester at school and transfer out to a CUNY; finish my major there while working and add another, more practical major there. CUNYs are far cheaper than SUNYs, and since I live within the city, I would be able to commute easily. I would be able to work and pay for my tuition. The downside is that I would be studying and working part-time, and I would graduate at a much, much later date.
3. Join the military. It's a half-assed reason compared to many volunteers who serve on the behalf of their country, but it's still an option to pay off my debts, as far as I know. I don't have much information on this option as I don't have anyone in my immediate family who attended military in the States (my relatives who have gone to the military were required to by the Korean military), so any insight would be highly appreciated.
4. JET program. I mentioned before that I have learned Japanese (I have completed advanced level Japanese and I'm fairly fluent at the language); this program sends people to Japan to teach English. The reason why I listed this separately from option 1 is because this is an overseas job and comes with its own set of challenges and downsides. The main downside is that I'm overseas and I will be completely isolated from everything I know and will be on my own completely for the duration of the program.
And that's all the options I have. If anyone else has other options or insight with their experiences, please let me know. I really want to set my life back on track because I'm sick of being a failure; I want to be self-reliant instead of burdening my poor parents and because I'm really sorry to everyone I've disappointed throughout the last four years. Thank you for your time.
Not really the first blog post I had envisioned; wanted to make a more enjoyable one.
