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Hey, I was wondering if anyone could help me decide what I should do from here. So on Christmas Eve's Eve, I messaged this girl who I had worked with the past two summers after noticing her like a few of my statuses and comments on pictures. She and I had always been friendly at work towards each other but we never talked or hung out outside of school. She was the hottest lifeguard and I always figured I had no shot but decided after she liked another girl's comment that said ew about me going to the rival colleges' football game I saw her on and decided to message her on facebook.
I know at first the conversation doesn't go well, but it seems to improve after the first bit. I am a senior in high school and she is a couple of years older than me in college. It was about an hour and a half to two hour conversation so keep that in mind.
Edit: Took out conversation
I am curious as to where do you think I should go from here? Do I message her again or wait for her to message me? Do I have a shot... or did she atleast enjoy talking to me? What should I do to follow up this conversation?
  
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Blazinghand
United States25562 Posts
I think you should message her again. You probably have a shot, but like.. it's hard to tell with these things without giving it a go, you know? Like, if you don't have a shot, then nothing lost, right? But if you do, well, you better talk to her! :D
Tell her about your ult frisbee and ask her about stuff in her life. Try to get a feel for what kind of person she is to see if YOU like HER (this is also an important factor). you can do it!
Good luck.
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My hyper-scroll wheel came in handy on this blog. However even though i didn't read most of the blog, you should message her in a few days and ask her out on a date. Worst thing she can do is say no right? And you were no further ahead than you were if you didn't do anything at all.
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you seem like a nice guy. girls like to talk to nice guys. not necessarily date them. girls won't suddenly want to date a guy just from a single fb conversation.
i would wait a couple days and when you see her online again, message her and ask her how her day was, etc
i wouldn't straight up ask her on a legit date... maybe ask her to sort of a casual lunch "spur of the moment" type thing
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"yeah i know... not gonna get the freshmen 15
i ran cross country in high school"
- I can tell you this is not a logical statement. I gained a ton when I stopped running in college. Very hard to get used to not being able to eat anything you want if you stop running (then again, if you don't stop, more power).
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now man up and talk to her in real life. get her contact number, text her. don't stick to facebook, if you want pussy.
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youre asking all the questions, shes not asking you anything -> shes not very interested in you right now...
change your strategy; you're too boring/nice
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FB messaging and chat is overrated. get to know her more, sure, but try not to read too much into a conversation just because it was long.
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Your going to have to get to know her better in person. Anyone can get along and be flirty online cause your not face to face interacting on that level with the other person. So ask her to just hang out sometime go to the movies/take her to dinner or something maybe don't come out as a date just a get together, Test the water!
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On December 27 2011 14:19 Malgrif wrote:
now man up and talk to her in real life. get her contact number, text her. don't stick to facebook, if you want pussy.
The cupids of TL rofl.
Anyways yea,just ask her out,you know,for coffe or some shit and get to know her better in person,than go from there.
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just saying --> you haven't seen her for awihle and facebook is making you horny. that's my opinion 
i think you should either go for it if you really think that it will work out and that its meant to be
but remember that facebook.. is facebook.
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I think it's creepy that you posted the whole convo.
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I don't know man, its a tough call. She's definitely "feeling you out", nobody has a facebook conversation that long for nothing. But its tough to tell from that if she wants to: 1.date you 2. become platonic friends (most women want to have at least a couple) or 3.is just lonely and looking for some attention from a guy. Its very possible that she doesn't know which one she wants either.
The fact that she didn't ask much about you (just responded) makes me kinda lean towards 2 or 3. Especially because in that conversation you came across as a realllly nice guy, instead of super interesting or funny. Most women say they want to date nice guys, but most of the "nice" guys I know get friend-zoned. Not all of them, but most of them.
But you never know, every woman is different, and the fact you talked so long does means something. I think your best bet is to chill and wait for her to make the next move, try not to worry about it too much.
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Thanks yall for the responses... unfortunately they tend to be on every possible end of the spectrum. I know it was kinda weird to post the whole conversation, but I wanted an impartial view of how the conversation went and if it was meaningful. I'm starting to think that robobob probably has it right on her feeling me out.
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On December 27 2011 15:16 cha0 wrote:
I think it's creepy that you posted the whole convo.
Yea I agree, the TL;DR would be more than enough.
But honestly ask he out, say "Hey do you want to get dinner sometime?" or something like that, that way you don't have to straight up say "Do you want to go out on a date" but the implications are still the same.
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Personally, I wouldn't spend two hours talking to a guy if I wasn't interested in him. So yeah, she has some sort of interest in you if that helps.
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United States12607 Posts
I scanned the conversation and have a few thoughts:
- agree with cha0; it's strange that you posted the entire chat here. I'd edit it out, to protect your privacy and this girl. It's not really safe (or good form) to go public with any private conversation. Anonymity reduces risk but doesn't eliminate it (google is powerful).
- stop boasting, man. It's really unnecessary and (if you ask me) inappropriate to talk about how much time you spend in the gym or how much money you have saved. To me this smells like you are overeager to prove yourself to this girl. Stay quiet and if you're otherwise a baller, she'll assume the best. (The most you can do is try to impress her by casually showing her things, not telling her them — e.g. if you really have big savings, take her to a kinda nice meal and gladly pay the bill.)
- she's interested. This is a long conversation and she's asking you questions. Time to get off facebook and see her in person. Next time you talk, ask her out. Whatever is good. Just ask her on any date. If you don't she'll start to suspect you fear her as much as your description of her suggests. (In general: try to act (pretend) more like you are a shoo-in than someone with "no shot".)
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United States12607 Posts
On December 27 2011 15:33 Livelovedie wrote:
Thanks yall for the responses... unfortunately they tend to be on every possible end of the spectrum. I know it was kinda weird to post the whole conversation, but I wanted an impartial view of how the conversation went and if it was meaningful. I'm starting to think that robobob probably has it right on her feeling me out.
No offense Robobob, but
Robobob gives terrible advice. If you wait for her to make the next move nothing will happen. If she'll chat with you for two hours she's interested enough to go on a date; ask her out.
Getting "friend zoned" is something that guys do to themselves by waiting for girls to make moves.
note, to cover my ass: I'm generalizing (as anyone must do to give advice with this little information). YMMV, every woman is different
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U say info is conflicting but it really isn't. Everyone agrees u should gtfo Facebook ASAP if u don't want to be gay zoned and talk to her rl. I wouldnt ask her out based off one facebook chat id feel her out face to face first ( not literally... Perverts) and after that decide to go for broke or not. But that's just my personal style. Gl bro
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The rule of thumb - if you have to wonder whether she likes you or not - you're in the friend zone.
If you want to go out with her, you need better pickup skills - e.g. one useful technique is to neg her since she's a hot lifeguard and will naturally get alot of attention.
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Blazinghand
United States25562 Posts
Case 1) You have no chance, so if you go hit on her you lose nothing
Case 2) You have a chance, so you should go hit on her.
I see no reason why you wshouldn't contact her further. If you believe in yourself anything is possible.
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On December 27 2011 15:34 Balgrog wrote:Show nested quote +On December 27 2011 15:16 cha0 wrote:
I think it's creepy that you posted the whole convo. Yea I agree, the TL;DR would be more than enough. But honestly ask he out, say "Hey do you want to get dinner sometime?" or something like that, that way you don't have to straight up say "Do you want to go out on a date" but the implications are still the same.
Oh yeah, that was definitely creepy.
I started reading then I was like "oh no duuuude" and scrolled down and I was like "duuuuu" then I was like "tl,dr". But definitely weird to ask strangers on the net to scan your personal conversations.
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EPT
