EPTOn November 24 2011 11:23 dizzee wrote:
Not giving a fuck is denying fear of rejection which can backfire quite badly. This happens when you are in a situation and you try to instill this arguement to suppress your fear of rejection, and you voice of reason interjects saying 'But i do give a fuck about how i appear to these people. This can be a cause of a crisis that will take alot of thinking and reflecting upon ones personality to solve.
Just ''being yourself' works fine in the group of tight knit friends, because that's what's expected of you. However in a group of people one genereally has an image that one wants to portray, one wants that group to think about you one way. Being yourself in this case might work, but it's not fool proof. You cannot force a group to accept you. If it is a closed group you have to adapt to how they operate. If it is a group of people bundled together as is often the situation at the start of a new school year, there will already be tight-knit groups within the larger group. One needs to appeal to the larger group, to do ones best to be accepted.
One can make the arguement 'But i don't want to be part of this group'. This is irrelevant in this situation as the OP has said he wanted to speak up and partake in these groups.
Not giving a fuck is denying fear of rejection which can backfire quite badly. This happens when you are in a situation and you try to instill this arguement to suppress your fear of rejection, and you voice of reason interjects saying 'But i do give a fuck about how i appear to these people. This can be a cause of a crisis that will take alot of thinking and reflecting upon ones personality to solve.
Just ''being yourself' works fine in the group of tight knit friends, because that's what's expected of you. However in a group of people one genereally has an image that one wants to portray, one wants that group to think about you one way. Being yourself in this case might work, but it's not fool proof. You cannot force a group to accept you. If it is a closed group you have to adapt to how they operate. If it is a group of people bundled together as is often the situation at the start of a new school year, there will already be tight-knit groups within the larger group. One needs to appeal to the larger group, to do ones best to be accepted.
One can make the arguement 'But i don't want to be part of this group'. This is irrelevant in this situation as the OP has said he wanted to speak up and partake in these groups.
I generally agree with everything your saying. I think this fear of rejection is the driving force in a vicious cycle. If you fear that others might think of you in a negative way, you try that much harder to be accepted. Consciously worrying about how others might react to what you say or do increases the fear and holds you back. At some point, you have to say "whatever, i dont care."
When I was in highschool all my friends were potheads lol. I was taken in by peer pressure to smoke eventually. And we pretty much smoked all day. I started noticing something about my self. I am a pretty timid and shy person in general. But when I was high, I become extra introverted. I would get some paranoid thoughts about what others think. I would go into this state where I overanalyze every single detail of how people react and what they say. I would start thinking that everyone is trying to screw with me and shit. It got to the point where I would literally not say anything when I was high lol. This went on for a couple years until I quit.
The point im trying to make is that your mindset really affects how you act. If your scared of what they might think of you, you will reflect that in your actions and words. This is why most people tend to be more outspoken and carefree when they are drunk. They just dont give a fuck.
