EPTHi, I’m Mack, much like the burger, aka Bibbit. A few of you may know me as some guy who writes random stupid shit from time to time. Anyways I’m having some serious troubles figuring out my direction in life. I’m not writing this here to have people tell me what to do and solve my whole existence for me, that would be silly. But I do think writing it will be beneficial to myself and I know Teamliquid, being the best community on the
Academics
This is the safe path. Its the path that most people, myself included, seem to end up taking. My big problem I’ve always had is the complete inability to focus on my work that needs to get done. I’ve sat in a quiet room with nothing but my work and a clock, and what ends up happening? I stop and listen to the clock, thinking about how totally dope it is that there are distinct “tick” and “tock” noises. Remove the clock, what else could possibly go wrong? Suddenly there’s a song in my head and I need to work out and memorize a beat for it on my fingers from start to finish.
Again, this is something I’ve done since homework started to become a regular duty in grade 2. I’ve always managed to scrape by, often by the slimmest of margins. But now I’m in the second year of university and its becoming harder to stay focused and harder to get by with each passing day. I’m just not sure I can fight through these immense mental blockades for that much longer. But at the same time, I’ve been doing this for a long time now, surely I can do another few years. Hell, I’m writing this right now because I’ve managed to catch up on everything (ish) so that’s gotta count for something right? Still, it almost killed me, and it can only get harder from here.
Super Physical Work
Okay this is going to be a pretty short section since its the one of three options that is least desirable to me and I try to avoid. My father is a roofer, top 3 slate control in the world imo. His father was also in construction, and his father before him. You see the trend, I’m sure. I’ve worked with my dad in the summers for many years now and I know, though it’s a nice summer job, its just not something I want for myself. I see my dad having to get major reconstructive surgery on his shoulders at the age of 40 due to overuse. When me and my sister were super tiny, we never saw him because he often worked 15+ hour days just to keep up fed and clothed. In short, he’s the sickest hero boss on the planet, but I’m not.
Truly, it hurts me. It hurts to see how hard he has worked to give me opportunities he never had. It sucks to know that however hard I try to focus on an assignment, I’m gonna end up looking at the penny to see if its on heads or tails. Anyways, there’s one other possibility.
So ur shit at school and moving. Wtf?
Firstly, up yours, fictitious guy who said that mean comment. Next, yeah, it looks like I’m a pretty shitty human being right? WRONG YOU MEANIE !
I almost never get nervous, really enjoy being in front of crowds and having an audience, am a good musician (throwing all modesty out the window) and have had a number of people tell me I should try stand-up comedy. It just really blows to have your talents in the area that’s arguably the hardest to break into. Also, up until now, I never made any real attempts at making anything happen. Now I’m starting to think I should. It’s something I can work on while doing school and hopefully I can make it somewhere good and if not, I still have an education. Does this make sense?
Also how the hell do I even go about getting started? Just look around for places to perform and shit? Become one of those youtube whores who makes videos and throws them around as video responses like its going out of style? Obviously not advertise on TL because that’s against the rules! : )
Anyway, just from writing this I feel like a lot of stuff is a lot clearer. Still, I’m super open to whatever the sages of TL have to say. Thanks to anyone who read this far. <3
You sound a lot like me, haha.
