My last few blogs have been really depressing and it's about a situation between a girl and myself. I've actually sought out professional help and.. there are a lot of deeper things that I'm trying to focus on... but sometimes, I have these thoughts like, what if thoughts.. that sometimes make me happy as well..
It's giving myself false hopes but for some reason, I'd be happy to go out with a bang.. and maybe at least get her attention enough for her to have a sit down with me and even if worse comes to worst and she still turns me away. At least I'll finally get closure and hear what she has to say face to face rather than trying to move on the way I've been lately... Trying to accept what she had to say through text messages just.. isn't enough for closure for me.
And if this somehow wins her heart back, then so be it. But of course I've already semi-accepted the ending. But I'd do anything to just see her again..
She loves this band... Simple Plan.. and I'm thinking of bussing to her city (she lives 6 hours away), and I'm planning on playing a song with an acoustic guitar in her backyard.
I've tried searching google and asking people around me and even though this has been shown in movies or shows and even music videos... no one I've talked to has ever done this or heard of anyone else doing it...
Should I try anyway. It's something I bet I'd never forget either..
Seems a little dramatic and would probably result in some really really awkward situation when you got there with a very low probability for success. Go for it!
uhh..i kinda feel depressed just reading your words T_T
Please, don't do it. Stuff like this only works in stupid movies. I have very fresh experience of dealing with similar girl problem and trust me, the best is to forget asap. Bang (which you can bet won't happen) or seeing her again will just prolong the pain.
I was once in a situation like yours, and discussing it with a friend, like "if only we could get together and talk again..." or whatever.
My friend cut me off and said simply "Diader...it's over, dude". And I realized he was right, and that I needed to let her go. I never went and saw her again, and I truly believe it was better than doing something drastic out of desperation.
save such stunts for when you can be certain that you will be appreciated. it's not a bad thing but it just doesn't fit in our time as a thing to get a girl..
my sisters ex bf once stuck a bunch of roses and tulips in the grass in our garden below her window stating "I <3 U " after she had broke up with him and brought huge flower packets a few times in order to get her back, dude that was so creepy. don't do such stuff. The times where that was considered, idk, noble i guess, are gone ugh ^^
If you want to talk about it PM me - I went through a similar long distance break up on my first serious relationship. (and can relate what you want to do and why).
I'm with Asday. DO IT and put more heart and soul into it then anything you've ever done.
It'll suck if you get rejected (and it sounds like you will) but you'll be better for the experience. No one ever achieved anything worthwhile without taking risks and putting themselves out there.
Plus, even if you fail, TL will think you're baller.
On October 06 2011 17:26 boesthius wrote: Jesus christ, man. Don't fucking do it.
Do.
Not.
Do.
This.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You're just setting yourself up for more pain.. any guy will tell you it's over, to those that say "do it" may think it would be a fun experience but nooooooooooo don't do this man~~~~~
My girlfriend I had been together with for 4 years recently broke up with me right before I was going to propose to her (in bad fashion I might add). She lives in Oklahoma and I live in Minnesota. I've left my fair share of voice mails, texts, emails etc. trying to "win her back" or "make her feel bad" and other things I was feeling at the time.
You must realize that our emotions cloud any logical thought we might have. You have to make drastic, rational steps to improve the feeling of her "being gone". It's not easy, but some things I did:
1. Avoid all contact
I removed her number from my phone, her email, facebook, skype and anything that immediately reminded me of her. It hurts at first and there are nights you long for that information back. But it gets better.
2. Make new friends
Emphasis on the new. I have buddies I've known since elementary school give me support, which is great and all. But when you lose a significant other of that importance to you it leaves a emptiness inside that you try depserately to replace. I can say I botched a perfectly good relationship with a new girl because I desperately tried to put her in my ex's shoes. But, gaining new friends and growing a fresh companionship can replace the "void" that was left.
3. Express your feelings creatively
I play music and write fiction. I thrive on emotions to produce content for these things. I have written a lot of good songs because of this endeavor and it also releases the pent up energy and aggression. The experience helps increase my character developmental skills in my writing as well. Just use your talents to expend all this energy. It relieves the mind and the feeling of being helpless.
4. Quit being a romantic
Become more aware of the difference between fantasy and reality. We are constantly fed romantic, heroic acts of love in movies, books and even videogames. Hell, even Raynor in SC2 is now the hopeless romantic pulling off impossible feats, staring at a picture of a love that is gone. That isn't reality. Reality is, the girl has moved on. She isn't the queen of blades, asking desperately inside that you come to her. She is a girl, with a life, with other friends and other ambitions and she no longer wants you apart of them. You can't change who you are to her because she has finalized her decision.
Listen, if you do really like this girl. It's better to be civil and formal. Call her up nicely, ask her if she has time to talk and explain how you feel about her. Give yourself an ultimatum. Have a rational conversation with her to find out her wants/needs and make sure you explain to her what you want/need. Understand that if they aren't the same, then it is better off being apart.
Good luck to you. I rarely post and I only made this account recently for liquibets but you seem to be having a frighteningly similar situation that I was in the past year.
On October 06 2011 18:29 Asday wrote: Holy shit DO IT. You will get shot down like a steam train hitting a concrete cube, and you will feel like shit for a good 2 weeks.
BUT.
For the rest of your life.
You will be the proud owner of an insanely hilarious memory.
Every single thing I've regretted doing "at the time" I now look back on and laugh (usually out loud) at. Fantastic way to live. ♥
On October 06 2011 21:09 IVFearless wrote: I'm with Asday. DO IT and put more heart and soul into it then anything you've ever done.
It'll suck if you get rejected (and it sounds like you will) but you'll be better for the experience. No one ever achieved anything worthwhile without taking risks and putting themselves out there.
Plus, even if you fail, TL will think you're baller.
I'm going to join the "Just Do It" club!
Honestly this is not going to get your girl back. I think deep inside you already know this. But you will - leave a haunting memory for the girl and she'll have nightmares for a long time hahahaha - have a fantastic story to share at a bar - record this (please!) and share on youtube for 1000000000 hits and 999999999 likes (1 dislike being that girl) - produce a 5-star blog sharing the epic tale - enjoy internet fame like you've never enjoyed before
Good luck, remember you have balls of iron and just do it! Oh but if the girl calls the cops run like hell lol.
The fact that it's Simple Plan should be enough to tell you this is a bad idea. I reiterate what others have said: This is the worst idea I've heard today, and I've spent most of my morning talking nonsense.
I'm all for getting closure but this is quite possibly the worst way to get it. It will fail because real life isn't some girly unrealistic movie. I think you know it's over but since you insist you still don't have closure, send her a letter or email or text message or anything and lay it all out there. But, you have to be ok with letting go after you do this. Just say what you have to say (in a normal, rational way) and if she still doesn't want to be with you then you know without a shadow of a doubt it's completely over.
I still feel like I need to insist it's already over and you probably shouldn't be continuing to contact her - if she isn't talking back to you then it's pretty clear she doesn't want to talk to you. But it's your life and you only go around once, do what you think is best (as long as it's not singing to her from her lawn, anything but that).
On October 07 2011 02:20 Hawk wrote: taking a bus for six hours to go sing in the backyard of your ex internet girlfriend is creepy as hell. Move on
Which is exactly why he should do it? Christ, I'm close to flirting on the internet so I have the opportunity to score such a memory, 'cause I'm kinda jealous.
The ability to look back and laugh is the single trait I am proudest to have. What good is it if you make all sensible decisions, and never do anything stupid?
On October 07 2011 02:20 Hawk wrote: taking a bus for six hours to go sing in the backyard of your ex internet girlfriend is creepy as hell. Move on
Which is exactly why he should do it? Christ, I'm close to flirting on the internet so I have the opportunity to score such a memory, 'cause I'm kinda jealous.
The ability to look back and laugh is the single trait I am proudest to have. What good is it if you make all sensible decisions, and never do anything stupid?
There's funny stupid, and then there's stupid stupid.
On October 07 2011 02:20 Hawk wrote: taking a bus for six hours to go sing in the backyard of your ex internet girlfriend is creepy as hell. Move on
Which is exactly why he should do it? Christ, I'm close to flirting on the internet so I have the opportunity to score such a memory, 'cause I'm kinda jealous.
The ability to look back and laugh is the single trait I am proudest to have. What good is it if you make all sensible decisions, and never do anything stupid?
There's funny stupid, and then there's stupid stupid.
yeah this isn't funny stupid, it's more like the stupid where you'd better hope there isn't a brother, guy friend or dad to knock your teeth out for being creepy and stalkerish. And this is coming from an asshole who finds humor in everything!
EPT
