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The blog title pretty much speaks for itself.
I'm not really big into drugs. I used to smoke bud pretty tough back in the day but that's pretty much the only thing i still do occasionally.
I was never a fan of hallucinogen-type substances - the only thing I have tried in the past was salvia and to this day, the thought of my one-time experience with that thing is still horrifying. One of the things I remember from the experience is that I looked at a door and saw my reflection, and that induced a hallucination in which i saw an infinite number of myself, and i was just one of them, standing amidst my "clones". The fear that I felt at that moment had to do with a thought that I was immensely insignificant - i was nothing. just one of these infinite other me.
That was years ago. Travel a few years into the recent present.
I'm really curious about the universe, astronomy, physics and all that good stuff. Recently I've been reading theories about how we may exist in a universe that is amongst an infinite number of other parallel universes. It took me a second to add what may be 1 + 1 but it seems that if this theory is really true, what I experienced years ago during my salvia-trip might have been related.. ? Haha, it's just a thought. I really don't know what to believe about the universe, my existence, and how everything is connected but i feel as though the trip I had provided some sort of still unconceivable revelation that I would ponder years later.
The only thing that I can think of that casts doubt on my unusual revelation is the fact that the experience with salvia occured in an area no other than inside my head. What I was attempting to connect with that was a possible reality of our universe. Which leads me to beg the question, do you guys think that somehow our consciousness is intricately and unfathomably connected to the universe and its workings?
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well, this is disappointing. i wanted to get all egotistical and describe my many findings that were either wrong or already known throughout my marijuana highs but then you went and asked an obvious question. the answer to that question is no. you are not a god, and before you get cocky, you aren't made in the likeness of a god either.
there are probably universes but there are probably not parallel universes. for lack of better metaphor, they may begin with the same seed, but grow their own branches.
edit: i wish i could smoke again. i might come up with something clever now that i'm not 16 anymore. too bad i'm poor... probably because i smoked too much weed.
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I was supposed to have several this summer, vacationing in Amsterdam. But i must have some sort of tolerance or some shit, because i tried one type of mushroom and two truffles and the effect was next to none. I felt burned, but i bought the exact same mushroom from the same headshop and he tripped balls. However it had no effect on me.
I'm a guy that like to understand how the minds of other people work. What makes them tick so to speak. One of my best friends is a philosopher and i've never felt i've been able to penetrate into his mind, for the ~18 years i've known him. But during new years eve in Bangkok, i had so much to drink that i dont even believe it myself. We were at this skybar with free drinks after the entrance fee. So i had mindboggling amounts of alchohol, for a period of close to 10 hours. The sweating and heat helped a bit tho. While winding down at about 5 o clock, watching japanese television, i suddenly hit zen-mode. I felt i could read him more or less like an open book, which was really exhilarating seeing it was a revelation after so many years of friendship. I tried to surf that exact alcohol to prod further, but alas it was a hard balancing act. It was profound tho, seeing so clearly after so many years in the fog.
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On September 06 2011 04:32 Herculix wrote:
well, this is disappointing. i wanted to get all egotistical and describe my many findings that were either wrong or already known throughout my marijuana highs but then you went and asked an obvious question. the answer to that question is no. you are not a god, and before you get cocky, you aren't made in the likeness of a god either.
there are probably universes but there are probably not parallel universes. for lack of better metaphor, they may begin with the same seed, but grow their own branches.
edit: i wish i could smoke again. i might come up with something clever now that i'm not 16 anymore. too bad i'm poor... probably because i smoked too much weed.
well im not saying that im a god. I wasnt trying to imply that by our minds maybe being connectd to the universe we know everything.. haha
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lol cant believe you tried first and only salvia...thatll scare someone from drugs forever
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Cut-and-paste from google:
Einstein came to Princeton University in 1935 and was asked what he would require for his study. he replied: "A desk, some pads and a pencil, and a large wastebasket to hold all of my mistakes."
On one side, trying to understand the universe requires new and uncommon ideas. So if being high helps you find new ways of looking at things, then it is not coincidence if something from a popular physics book makes you think of a "drug-induced revelation."
On the other side, speculations are a dime a dozen. Anybody with any imagination at all can come up with tons of crazy ideas. The hard part is throwing away all the "mistakes" to get something useful. Drugs hurt, rather than help, this part I think.
As to whether your consciousness is intricately connected to the universe... it is! Mainly through your central nervous system, which connects to your eyes, ears, stomach, lungs, etc., all of which allow you to explore and understand many different and amazing things. The neuroscientists seem to think it is fathomable, though.
Oh, and Begging the question. (Not that you are incorrect in your usage, strictly speaking.)
Edit: typos.
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I've taken several hallucinogens. Plenty of interesting experiences, no real revelations.
The only really profound experience I have had was the first time I took adderall because it woke me up to how much more I could be getting out of life.
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About 5 years ago I took LSD, and had an amazing journey of interpersonal growth and change. I realized that I was a really bad person and that I had treated everyone in my life very poorly. I had a chip on my shoulder my whole life - I never had any good experiences in school, my options always seemed really limited compared to my ambition, and I never really felt like i could grow or change in a way that was meaningful to me. I didn't want to seek wealth or power, just accomplishment, and always being restrained or sometimes punished for that left me a really cold and embittered person.
While on acid, I suddenly realized just how much everyone in my life loved me and had taken care of me. I used to think that no one I knew would ever be there for me when I needed them the most, and I felt very alone and isolated even though I had a lot of friends, none of which was true. When I was 19 I was in a horrible car accident and my sister basically nursed me back to health for 6 months, taking time out of her busy schedule just to make sure I was comfortable and had the necessities. It never occurred to me before then just how meaningful that really was - I was still hanging on to so many bitter childhood memories of when she acted extremely selfish and hostile towards me. She could have just let me suffer in pain all alone, but she was really there for me and never wavered for the entire time that I was healing, never asking for anything in return or even complaining at anything that she had to do for me.
I developed a profound appreciation for my parents. They had taken care of me all my life to the best of their ability, and had worked hard to provide for us the best life that they could. While on acid, my friend mentioned how his mom had abandoned his family when he was a child, and I remember having an extremely vivid revelation that my parents had worked their fingers to the bone to provide for me.
I also came to realize that I did not feel the least bit of remorse, guilt, or regret at any of the bad things that I had done in my life, and how terrible it must have been for all the people that I had broken relationships with. I have a few friends that I just stopped speaking with for years at a time for no good reason, even though we were very close. They were horribly heartbroken that I had let our friendship falter, but were actually too hurt to ever confront me about it. I remember one of my guy friends even breaking down in tears and telling me how much he missed hanging out with me and he was so angry, hurt, and confused at the loss of our friendship. At the time, I just shrugged it off. I thought our friendship was just dying off and I lost interest, and I thought he felt the same way. He said that he never had the same kinds of good times as he did with me, even doing simple things like watching a movie or trying to beat a videogame together. He tried making up with me but I just blew him off. I thought he was being a drama queen and was just too emotionally needy.
I guess it was partly because of my internal fear of commitment that I didn't want to have close friendships. Any time anyone got too close to me for comfort, I just dropped them like a bad habit. Everyone around me used to joke that they were too afraid to ask me anything personal because I might never speak to them again. I didn't think anything of it because I didn't think I had a problem maintaining personal relationships.
As I got older, I also had plenty of run-ins with old flames - many women who, like my friends, felt hurt, abandoned, and completely confused. For years they blamed themselves and thought something was wrong with them. I never took advantage of them or exploited them in any way, and most of them I never even slept with; I just stopped talking to them because I felt they had no real interest in me. Only after taking acid did I really understand how skewed my perspective was. Even to this day I have conversations with old girlfriends/female friends/crushes about why we never really got together or why it didn't last. I used to say to them that they came off as uninterested and bored when they were around me. Nowadays, I just realize how much they did care about me, I just put them in such an awkward place because they were too afraid to express themselves because most likely, I would have just been cruel to them, laughed at them, or just stopped speaking to them.
TL;DR: I used to be a total asshole who just took everything and everyone around me for granted. I only ever focused on the negative and held on to so many painful memories from my childhood and teenage years that kept me from enjoying life.
So yeah, i've had a great drug experience. Although i've sworn never to do them again.
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EPT
