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"Your car really stinks of cigarettes you know?" the girls face contorted into a look of disgust and she sunk deeper into her seat.
"I like it." he replied simply. She said nothing in return and he imagined what her hair might look like covering her face, leaving only one eye visible. He imagined that eye to be filled with lust and the sort of raw sexuality that only existed in his fantasies and would likely continue to until his lonely death.
"They smell like shit." she says. A brilliant beginning to a first date. He had already accepted the imminent failure of this encounter which could no longer be called or ever become "romantic" but he decided he would drudge through the formalities of dating as it was and perhaps he would come out of it with an interesting story to tell a stranger when he was drunk late at night sitting on the stool of a bar he had never been to before and won't remember the name of when he awakes in the morning.
"Different strokes. At least the restaurant is nice." he speaks with a submissive tone, already ashamed at the passive manner with which he defended and justified his own off-putting habits. The restaurant was nice, at least the food was, but he doubted the lower-middle class faux italian decor would impress her much. That's ok. He didn't want to get laid. Sex was something that existed comfortably in his dreams. In his dreams it was visceral and full of smooth and toned bodies moving together in perfect harmony. There was a fluid transition from the gentle and delicate motions of foreplay to the aggressive and sensually violent throes of fucking but in reality it wasn't so pretty. Erections were only partially maintained and skin turned an embarrassing shade of red and he noticed the pimples on his thigh or the awkward way his stomach jiggled when he thrust and dirty feeling of another human's body fluid dripping onto your skin. Like most things, he preferred to live it out in his own mind.
"Reality is so ugly." he says out loud without realizing and she looks at him confused. She says nothing. He starts the car.
"I hope you like pasta."
sometimes i write stuff and it's really bad but whatever there is no point if i'm the only person who reads it
 
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is this fictional or not?
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On August 25 2011 08:45 Kurumi wrote:
is this fictional or not?
yeah i guess
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Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
DoctorHelvetica! <3
I'm not much of a critic, but I still enjoyed reading that. Is there more coming?
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idk i deleted everything i have written recently on accident oops
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Were you looking for criticism at all? I thought it was pretty good, there was just one little thing I didn't like Besides that, though, I enjoyed it. :p
Good work.
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i dont take writing very seriously i just do it because i can if you want to criticize it thats fine
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Well, the only thing I personally didn't really like, was the use of the word "fucking" in the sentence "There was a fluid transition from the gentle and delicate motions of foreplay to the aggressive and sensually violent throes of fucking but in reality it wasn't so pretty.". This is because it's sort of a harsh sounding word, that already has more "dirty" or impersonal connotations attached to it as well, so it kind of prematurely broke the transition you seemed to be looking for and the flow of the sentence. At least, that's how it felt for me.
Anyways, like I said, I thought it was good overall, that just jumped out at me a little.
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That's a very random blog that is good but somewhat incomplete. I think you should continue the story in future blog posts, that would be very interesting! Let us see what happens at the restaurant and add humor to it  .
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no i dont write short stories only fragments that are exaggerated versions of experiences i have had or would have if i socialized with people
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Good writing if a little dismal. Was the title of this blog just random letters and numbers?
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"There was a fluid transition from the gentle and delicate motions of foreplay to the aggressive and sensually violent throes of fucking but in reality it wasn't so pretty." That line caught my eye with the philosophical feeling it gives off, fucking great writing skills Helvetica. Are you going to continue this particular story? If not I'll be sad you really have talent. 5/5
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no if i write anything i'll post it though i deleted myw riting blog and i dont like the idea that im the only person that reads things i write but i also hate negative criticism because im a big stupid baby
yes travis i just slapped my keyboard then typed "32" the number 32 has no significance
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EPT
