EPTPutting aside my presumption of your familiarity with 18th century English poetry, the title will make sense if you decide to read the entire thing.
I might have mentioned that i used to do this on the website of djWHEAT's old show Epileptic Gaming. But the blog section was removed.
Last time i competed, i made a videoblog leading up to it. But, as the competition came and went. I realized, that counting on the official camera to capture my matches was not the best idea. Only one got recorded. And asking anyone to sit through a 10-12 minute video of me talking, with the anticlimax of one single match, would not fly.
It also made me realize that i have little to no footage at all of me doing stuff. Not from football, not from fighting, and not from grappling. I decided to mend that, starting that day. So, i brought my own camera to the next competition, and asked a friend to capture the fun.
With the intro done, let's get down to the business of the actual blog post.
Anyway. It all started Thursday evening after practice. People were discussing the weekend's upcoming grappling tourney, when someone turned to me and asked if i was going to compete. I had no intention of doing so, and i had not prepared in the ways one normally should.
But before i could say no. My coach interjects "of course he is."
Now, I'm a grown man. And no one would ever force me to compete. But i also want to show an appreciation for the work coach does for us. And he wants people to get as much experience as possible. And enjoys people competing, doing well, and repping the club. So to speak.
So instead of going "Fuck no. I'm fat and out of shape. My shoulder is shot, my knee doesn't work, and it feels like someone hit my thigh with a tire iron." I just went "Sure..."
I walk off the mats and hit the scale. It's Thursday evening, weigh-ins are early Saturday morning. And I'm 8 lbs over...
I go home, and eat the last food I'll eat, until hitting the scale Saturday morning; A can of tuna. This is also the last liquid i have. (excluding ice cubes.)
And from there, the fun starts. You see, the key to cutting weight the last 24 hours is not just "Don't eat." But cutting water from your body.
Now, just sweating like a fat man on a cross trainer isn't that bad in itself. It's the; not being allowed to take in the water lost part, that sucks a bag of dicks.
So i hit the sauna Friday morning. Plastics on, hoody over, and wait. I do half an hour which is fairly standard considering i had a decent amount of time to still cut.
I strip down, dry myself off, and get on the scale... 3 lbs lost. It isn't bad, but it isn't good either.
I go home, but I'm too restless to do anything. And when I'm bored, all i think about is drinking and eating. So i decide to go to the public pool. Distract myself, try to sooth my tired muscles, and weary mind for a while.
As i slide into the chilly water of "ye olde public pool", a floaty foam crocodile drifts by slowly. I summon my inner Steve Irvin (The alive version.), grab it and jump on it's back.
Laying on my stomach, with my arms and legs dangling freely over the sides, my eyes about water level. The ever present thirst brings itself to attention again. The water is pretty still, as we are only like two people in the pool, and the waves that are there, seem silky and soft.
That's when The Rime of the Ancient Mariner popped into my head; Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink.
I could at least crack a smile at my own retarded melodramatic-nerdiness.
Besides, drinking it would probably be equivalent to slow and ugly suicide.
The water of public pools is 10% water, 20% chlorine, 45% pee, and 25% poo.
I leave the pool after a couple of hours of expert floating. And go straight to the sauna again. Gear on, wait. This time, i reach my "fuck it" point after about 20 minutes. Because someone had cranked the heat up to max in the fucking thing. And it felt like the plastics melted on to my skin. Creating the worlds shittiest superhero; "Rain-wear man!" "Half man, half water-resistant clothing. Whenever you need someone who can tolerate moderate amounts of light rain. He is there!"
Anyway. I get on the scale again. 3 more lbs gone. I decide it'll do. You lose water just walking, breathing and sleeping. And i could always cut the very last bit of weight on the morning of, if needed. So i go home, eat an ice cube and try to sleep.
After a horrible night of sleep. I get up, pack all my shit and head to the gym, for one last weight check. I get on the scale, and it shows I'm just over. I make the judgment call that it's OK. I should be on weight by the time i get the weigh-ins.
The observant reader might have noticed that i have only mentioned thirst as the issue, and neglected the hunger. What is interesting is, once you push past the initial 8-12 hour mark hunger pains, your body pretty much accepts that no food is coming. It's all about the liquids.
I drive to the venue, and manage to arrive early. So i have to wait about 20 minutes to weigh in. When it's finally opened up, i drop my clothes, and get on the scale in just underwear and socks. (I'm sure any female who might have stumbled upon this blog knows the look. ^^) And I'm fucking over, a tiny amount, but over. I drop the socks, and made weight. That was the difference between success and failure, the weight of my socks.
Thrilled, i get to eating and drinking. Mainly drinking. I have an hour and a half to recover, until the brackets start.
My problem now, is that i mentally have to break the rot i got in, depriving myself of everything the last 36 hours.
At this point i can't seem to find the motivation. I am however lucky, that my style is pretty calm. Rather than needing to be psyched up, and start at a million miles an hour. I think it comes from me, in the end, still being a striker. Where people, generally, start out slower and feel eachother out.
So my first match rolls around. And i decide to stay as relaxed as i possibly can, in order to ease myself into competition mode. But, In my attempt to stay relaxed, i did end up looking rather smart ass. Which i swear, was not my intention. The guy I'm matched up with seems to be new, and very uncomfortable on his feet. Which leads to the whole affair looking quite sloppy, as i try to get a hold of him. Somewhat similar to HuK vs Nazgul i guess.
Anyway, first match. (Note; In all the matches, i am the guy in white shorts, and white short sleeved shirt.)
So a decent start.
I feel good after my first win, i used no energy, and non of my injuries seemed to bother me enough to make a difference. From here on out, i just had to keep an ear out for my name being called. Apart from that, it was a nice day out, and it was a comfortable temperature, just sitting on the mats watching people go at it. And posing for the occasional picture.
I had a match, against a guy i grappled last time too. Still ranked first in the grappling league.
He was actually gracious enough to upload our match to youtube for me, as this was one of the matches my camera guy didn't get. And i took it from his youtube page. Hence the watermark the first minute, i apologize. But i didn't want that video to potentially have more views than the others.
He is a nice guy. And i don't look overly thrilled at the result of the match either.
Next match was against a team mate of mine. Super technical guy. And we had a little fun with our match. I ended up controlling the thing. But couldn't finish him. The kid has the sickest turtle ever. It's almost impossible to get a hold of anything, or get hooks in when he turtles up.
Last match i have footage of is against this Chinese guy. Now, i didn't think they got much bigger than me in my weight-class. But i was wrong. This kid was jacked. (I know, a buff Asian. ^^ And i double checked. He was Chinese, not Korean and his name was definitely not Lee Yoon Yeol.) Anyway.
I'm getting more matches recorded, but i still wish i had them all. However, it's not easy.
Last time, like i said, i realized that i personally have little to no footage of anything i have ever done. Any video there might be is gathering dust in a draws somewhere. ^^ So this time, i brought my own camera. But the guy i asked to film for me, had 4 others ask the same, so he had to pick and choose. Which means he couldn't get all of mine, understandably.
Then i went home; Food, sleep and MLG.
![[image loading]](http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/246751_2079009733234_1184747301_2476601_1973087_n.jpg)
24 hours later, I had regained my 8 lbs.
To anyone who made it this far, i hope you enjoyed at least parts of this.
People have started to bug me about taking a fight soon. So, if i feel i have the extra energy, I'll try to do something similar for that, once i kick my own lazy ass into gear. I know we have a couple of people on here who also fight, and probably more people who enjoy watching it. (Rather than actually getting punched in the face with 4 ounce gloves, in front of drunken crowds. ^^)
