EPT+ Show Spoiler +
A Man shouts to his wife from the bedroom, "Hey honey come look at my new clock". His wife walks in to find her hubby naked with a hard on. His wife says "that's not a clock at all. Hubby looks up with a smirk and says "It will be when u put two hands and face on it".
bra religion
+ Show Spoiler +
What Religion is your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's
And shyly walked up to
The woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "
" What type of bra?"
asked the clerk.
" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
" Look around,"
Said the saleslady,
As she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color
And material imaginable.!
"Actually,
Even with all of this variety,
There are really only
Four types of bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked
About the types.
The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic,
The Salvation Army,
The Presbyterian,
And the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled,
The man asked about
The differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
"It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type
Supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used
To define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why,
But couldn't figure out
What the letters stood for,
It is about time
You became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!.....
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen And I can't get up!...
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's
And shyly walked up to
The woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "
" What type of bra?"
asked the clerk.
" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
" Look around,"
Said the saleslady,
As she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color
And material imaginable.!
"Actually,
Even with all of this variety,
There are really only
Four types of bras to choose from ."
Relieved, the man asked
About the types.
The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic,
The Salvation Army,
The Presbyterian,
And the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled,
The man asked about
The differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
"It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type
Supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used
To define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why,
But couldn't figure out
What the letters stood for,
It is about time
You became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!.....
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen And I can't get up!...
early retirement
The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between two points he chose.
The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.
The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third. When he was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "from the tip of my penis to the tip of my testicles." The pension man said that would be fine but he'd better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring.
The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em... he did... The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.
"My God!", he said, "where are your testicles?"
The general replied, "back in Vietnam!"
The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.
The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third. When he was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "from the tip of my penis to the tip of my testicles." The pension man said that would be fine but he'd better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring.
The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em... he did... The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.
"My God!", he said, "where are your testicles?"
The general replied, "back in Vietnam!"
25 years
+ Show Spoiler +
A man and his wife have their 25th anniversary.The wife books the same room in the same hotel as their honeymoon. That night the man is in bed and the wife says she will take a shower before getting in bed. When she comes out from the bathroom she is only wearing a towel which she drops. She ask the husband , "When you first saw my naked body in front of you 25 years ago what were you thinking?"
The husband replied, "All I was thinking is how i was going to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then the wife asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, " I'm just admiring what a good job i have done."
The husband replied, "All I was thinking is how i was going to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then the wife asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, " I'm just admiring what a good job i have done."
that sweet young thing?
+ Show Spoiler +
George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
"Harriet, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services." Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."
"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat
dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"
"Harriet, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services." Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."
"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat
dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"
Just curious why early retirement wasn't in spoilers :D
