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Not particularly a girl blog, but something along the lines of such.
Background: Freshman in high school. Haven't had a girlfriend before, but I am looking at a girl to ask out. However, after talking with some of my friends, I have a few questions.
High school relationships are inconsistent. They are there to hold you fancy, but not your love. Most, if not all, know this. Then why do relationships like these exist? It seems like these relationships may last for a few weeks, a month or two, maybe even a year, before the feeling fades away, leaving you in a relationship that you know will not work out. Friends of mine have been in this situation, and have been both at the receiving and giving side of such an event. In high school, it seems as though no one has the time or passion to make a commitment in their lives.
I guess the big question is, is the whole thing worth it? Why spend a few weeks of your life while knowing that, in most cases, the relationship won't work out? Is everyone naive enough to think that it will work out? Or do they just think that the time with that person is worth it?
 
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a) Fun. Relationships can be both fun and meaningful things, even if they aren't permanent. Nothing wrong with enjoying them.
b) Experience. You don't want to be trying to deal with the awkwardness of a first relationship in college. Just learning how to interact on a different kind of emotional level with someone is a valuable thing, and the value of getting over the awkwardness of certain physical encounters for the first time is obvious.
c) Maybe you'll find someone, you never know. Every relationship is a different animal.
Also, stop overthinking it. That's always (trust me, from experience) just the part of you trying to talk yourself out of it. As a freshman in high school, the big questions of value and naivete should not be your worries, especially with relationships.
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Graduating this year from high school. From observations of my classmates, it doesn't seem to be worth it. Then again, I believe in the Asian drama interpretation of love and romance which almost everyone disregards as naive. I haven't had a girlfriend yet because of this. I have had infatuations and such but I never really truly liked someone enough to actually date the person.
I guess it's fine as long as it doesn't impact your studies.
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you don't seem to understand. when people who are in schoo go into relationships they just wanna explore..
it doesn't matter if you are still together in a couple of years, just explore...
with your logic people should go into relationships only once they reach the age of 30
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There comes a time in every young man's life where God decides to send him what's known as "practice pussy".
This time is high-school.
Get out there, learn what everything looks like, and how it works, and then get ready for the time of your life once you get to college.
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High school relationships are inconsistent. They are there to hold you fancy, but not your love. Most, if not all, know this. Then why do relationships like these exist? It seems like these relationships may last for a few weeks, a month or two, maybe even a year, before the feeling fades away, leaving you in a relationship that you know will not work out. Friends of mine have been in this situation, and have been both at the receiving and giving side of such an event. In high school, it seems as though no one has the time or passion to make a commitment in their lives.
Three factors: Hormones, curiosity (of the other gender, intercourse/coitus), experimentation.
That's the reason why there are relationships in high-schools. It's a form of exploration and an outlet from the rigid rules that is school and the home/family institutions (rigid for those kids, where they are being introduced to concepts of responsibility and free-will).
There are 4 forms of love: Friendship, romantic, unconditional and security. At your age, you won't experience two of them, one is familiar and romantic is the often short-lived burst-like love that many high-schoolers experience. You build an understanding of the other gender, to respect them and to engage in what entices you and driven by hormones. They don't last because its driven by lust and by curiosity.
Hope this helps you out. Psychology of Sexuality and Relationships if you're interested in these kinds of subjects.
Why spend a few weeks of your life while knowing that, in most cases, the relationship won't work out?
Sorry, last edit: most people engage in relationships not for long-term reasons, but rather seek and quench their sexual drive, especially at your age. Why do we do anything if we know we're going to die? A bit of deviated question, but your mindset seems to think that we do things for their end, but not for the means. In other words, you ride for the ride and not for where it is going.
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On May 17 2011 11:12 theonemephisto wrote:
a) Fun. Relationships can be both fun and meaningful things, even if they aren't permanent. Nothing wrong with enjoying them.
b) Experience. You don't want to be trying to deal with the awkwardness of a first relationship in college. Just learning how to interact on a different kind of emotional level with someone is a valuable thing, and the value of getting over the awkwardness of certain physical encounters for the first time is obvious.
c) Maybe you'll find someone, you never know. Every relationship is a different animal.
Also, stop overthinking it. That's always (trust me, from experience) just the part of you trying to talk yourself out of it. As a freshman in high school, the big questions of value and naivete should not be your worries, especially with relationships.
THIS sums up everything I wanted to say.
Dating is meant for fun. Time tells no lies, and you will know who the right person you want to keep for the rest of the life is sooner or later. We are never so young to love, but we are always too naive some times.
Just don't get overexcited or start getting high hopes, HOWEVER that doesn't mean you have to be a dick and mistreat your GF.
What mephisto said is that 'dating' or 'having a relationship' is healthy for your relationship development as a human.
Just have fun, don't overthink it and be prudent.
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I graduated from high school 10 years ago, and looking at facebook, a lot of people married people they were dating back then. My parents both went to high school together, and after they divorced, my mom married another guy she knew from school. It's not as rare as you seem to think. You probably aren't going to find someone you're willing to spend your life with on your first attempt, but don't let that keep you from trying.
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On May 17 2011 11:26 MrBitter wrote:
There comes a time in every young man's life where God decides to send him what's known as "practice pussy".
This time is high-school.
.
qft
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Go for it. Have some fun. Don't let it run your life. Break up. Rinse and repeat.
For the love of god do not go to college with a girlfriend though.
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On May 17 2011 11:27 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +High school relationships are inconsistent. They are there to hold you fancy, but not your love. Most, if not all, know this. Then why do relationships like these exist? It seems like these relationships may last for a few weeks, a month or two, maybe even a year, before the feeling fades away, leaving you in a relationship that you know will not work out. Friends of mine have been in this situation, and have been both at the receiving and giving side of such an event. In high school, it seems as though no one has the time or passion to make a commitment in their lives. Three factors: Hormones, curiosity (of the other gender, intercourse/coitus), experimentation. That's the reason why there are relationships in high-schools. It's a form of exploration and an outlet from the rigid rules that is school and the home/family institutions (rigid for those kids, where they are being introduced to concepts of responsibility and free-will). There are 4 forms of love: Friendship, romantic, unconditional and security. At your age, you won't experience two of them, one is familiar and romantic is the often short-lived burst-like love that many high-schoolers experience. You build an understanding of the other gender, to respect them and to engage in what entices you and driven by hormones. They don't last because its driven by lust and by curiosity. Hope this helps you out. Psychology of Sexuality and Relationships if you're interested in these kinds of subjects. Show nested quote +Why spend a few weeks of your life while knowing that, in most cases, the relationship won't work out? Sorry, last edit: most people engage in relationships not for long-term reasons, but rather seek and quench their sexual drive, especially at your age. Why do we do anything if we know we're going to die? A bit of deviated question, but your mindset seems to think that we do things for their end, but not for the means. In other words, you ride for the ride and not for where it is going.
Thanks, you answered the main question I had with your final edit.
With all the feedback, I think I'll just go for it. I might edit the post or post another blog to see what happens. Thanks, TL
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On May 17 2011 11:26 MrBitter wrote:
There comes a time in every young man's life where God decides to send him what's known as "practice pussy".
This time is high-school.
Get out there, learn what everything looks like, and how it works, and then get ready for the time of your life once you get to college.
O.o i'm an atheist no wonder god aint sending shit to me XD
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A lot of dudes I met freshman year in college were virgins, it was actually pretty crazy and offputting at the same time.
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many hs relationships are hit or miss. if it hits, it goes all the way to marriage. if it misses, then it crashes and burns, and sometimes drama ensues.
it does surprise me when some relationships that began in hs seem to go well but then the couple breaks up (after 4+ years of dating)
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Because people get horny.
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1) You need to get your first relationship experience somewhere!
2) Attraction is not usually something you can control.
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There is no real downside to getting into a relationship imo so you shouldn't be too apprehensive if you think you want it. In the first few weeks you can generally end it without it being a too big deal and even if you do just remember to always be considerate.
Just because a relationship won't end in marriage (lol) doesn't mean there is anything wrong with starting one.
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On May 17 2011 11:26 MrBitter wrote:
There comes a time in every young man's life where God decides to send him what's known as "practice pussy".
This time is high-school.
Get out there, learn what everything looks like, and how it works, and then get ready for the time of your life once you get to college.
What a disgusting response to such a sincere question. Because everything revolves around sex?
Ask a girl you genuinely like. Hopefully she isn't an air head like most girls I met during High School. Relationships are as strong as the people that compose them.
However, since you're smart enough to realize that most High School romances, not all, are a waste of time; I suggest you focus on creating strong friendships.
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At first I thought high school relationships were a stupid waste of time too, then I got into one. It was mostly for fun at first, but then it got kind of serious and ended in me being heartbroken - so it was a good experience for me to get over that.
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EPT
