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All right, so, I am intending to go abroad for one semester, specifically to England. This is something I've wanted to do since grade 10. Here, at my university, exchanges are available and whatnot. My family wants me to go and my mother wants to come meet up with me in the June of that semester.
However, I have a boyfriend (he frequents this site so I reaaaally hope he doesn't see this post). I fear that if I do intend to go abroad, I may lose him. He may find someone else, I think. I don't want that to happen, because honestly, who does?
My issue here is I have no idea what I should do. I know I could always just go to England for a trip sometime and bring my boyfriend along with me (or go for a significantly lesser period of time).
My mother seems to think that he controls me and that the only reason I stopped wanting to go when he and I first started dating him is because it is what he wanted. I didn't want to go because I didn't think I could handle being away from him for five months (which I'm realizing is pretty likely).
I have no idea how I can resolve this issue. I have til February to make a final decision on whether or not I would like to go. Any suggestions?
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just go.
I lost my gf over going to Taiwan and France for 9 months, but it wasn't just b/c of me going there, but also b/c she really wanted to get married and I still believe that marriage is an unfair deal, so yeah.
In the long run, I think you gotta do what you gotta do to become the awesome person you wanna be.
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Just talk to him. 5 months isn't that long, especially since it's during the semester. My girlfriend wants to go to Korea for a year and I'm fine with that. I'll wait, maybe visit if I can. Depends a lot on how long you are together and how things are working out between the two of you. So really, just talk to him. Nobody is going to give you a better advice. Tell him how you feel and see how he feels about that. Then decide.
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a lot of people do lose other halves at uni but my roommate kept his girlfriend over three years of uni and was barely able to see her, just long skype calls every night. so it can work out
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Lanaia, if you are being serious about this, being apart makes the heart grow fonder. The more people who tell you to go the more you will want to stay with him, the more people who call him controlling the more you'll want to fight what people say and want to prove them wrong. This is a basic thing that happens to guys and gals alike.
Going to another country and living there for a while will change you, and open your mind up like you have no idea. It's the best experience you can have in your life time. Another tip, do you want to live your life with regret? If you don't go you will end up having that question in the back of your head saying "What would've happened if I did go?" I'd rather not live with that in the back of my head.
But that's something you learn after a while of being alive.
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There are students at my University that talk to their significant others in China on Skype every day. I think they only get to see their SO's during the summer.
As long as you skype and play SC2 with your bf, he shouldn't stop loving you enough to fall prey to another girl. If he does he's probably not worth it. Why are you so scared of this happening? It seems like an irrational fear.
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Go to England, fulfill one of your life's dreams. This is something you may never get to do in the future so take advantage of it while you have the opportunity.
If he can't wait for one semester then it wasnt meant to be. This is coming from someone who spent a semester off of school working while my gf (now wife) stayed in school. It wasn't the best situation but we worked through it and made it work as besst we could.
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On May 11 2011 01:46 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:
As long as you skype and play SC2 with your bf, he shouldn't stop loving you enough to fall prey to another girl. If he does he's probably not worth it. Why are you so scared of this happening? It seems like an irrational fear.
I'm a very irrational person. I'm very possessive. He knows that and I know it. I mean, I *know* he won't fall for someone else, but there's always this paranoia and I hate it.
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don't talk to him. This is just making everything worse and puts tons of guilt on him. Make up your mind and decide what you want to do.
There's no way in hell he can really support this (no matter what he says), so make up your mind, be prepared to lose him and then see how you want to proceed.
Steps as they should be imo:
1) Decide if you want to go
2) Talk to bf and decide how to proceed
How it should NOT be:
1) Talk to bf about how it could be if you went
2) Decide based on that
This puts tremendous pressure on your partner and no good can come from it. If he supports you, you will get all sorts of "yeah, he can't find anyone like me again anyways" or "he doesn't care about me" kind of feelings depending on how he says it. If he doesn't you're gonna be all like "this jerk is only thinking about himself".
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A relationship that won't survive 5 months apart isn't worth keeping anyways. You absolutely should go and go for the maximum amount of time. Studying abroad is an amazing experience, most people grow and learn more in their time abroad than they do all the rest of college.
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Well you have until February, which seems like a pretty long time. Just see how things go would be my advice. See if your relationship gets stronger or weaker. If stronger, you should go and just trust him. If weaker, you should break up with him and then go.
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United States16368 Posts
Uh... just go. While it's important to put your significant other into consideration while making these decisions, at the end of the day, it's still your life. Your relationship should be based on mutual support not fear of losing one another.
If he's worth keeping, he should be supportive and encouraging of your decisions. Also, it's only for a semester, it'll be over before you know it.
(I'm currently studying in the States, and my GF is working in Mongolia for the next four months, NBD).
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On May 11 2011 02:05 Cambium wrote:
Uh... just go. While it's important to put your significant other into consideration while making these decisions, at the end of the day, it's still your life. Your relationship should be based on mutual support not fear of losing one another.
If he's worth keeping, he should be supportive and encouraging of your decisions. Also, it's only for a semester, it'll be over before you know it.
(I'm currently studying in the States, and my GF is working in Mongolia for the next four months, NBD).
This guy, what he says!
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Thank you all. You're all so helpful. 
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EPT
