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So, there is this girl I really like but I don't really know how to man up and just tell her in person. I was thinking a lot about this and I came to the conclusion that sending a love letter would be a great option to consider.
Keep in mind that we already did some activities together (call it dating), we are going to the same school so we each other quite often, etc. We are becoming really good friends and I came to the conclusion that I really like her more than just a friend...
BUT, I wouldn't know if it would be wise to send a love letter. Has anyone on this board have experience with it? Did you send one yourself or did you receive one? How did you/the person you sent it to react? Should I just grow some balls and tell her that I love her?
I like her so much but I'm way too shy for this kind of stuff, haha! I hope to get some advice from you guys. If needed, I can post the letter that I wrote.
 
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and I came to the conclusion that sending a love letter would be a great option to consider.
Don't. Seriously. If you want the girl to respect you, you'll tell it to her face. If you can't, then it's not meant to be.
Keep in mind that we already did some activities together (call it dating)
No, don't call it 'dating'. Unless an activity is explicitly prephased as "hey, wanna go to xxx on a date?", it's not a date - it's simply a social activity with a friend. Huge difference.
If you can't tell her to her face that you fancy her, how can she expect you to perform confidently in any couple-related situation at all?
Should I just grow some balls and tell her that I love her?
No. You should grow some balls and tell her that you kinda like her, and would like to get to know her better. Like, take her on a date.
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
as long as you don't write stuff like "my love for you burns like the thousand suns in the skies, while my lust for you bursts like the sperm whale's mating call"
To me, asking a girl out over mail/txtmsgs is never a good idea, but I know a few people who managed to do it and dated for a loooong time. Showing the girl you have to confidence to ask her out in person is a plus and be totally cool about it is a better way imo.
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Tell her. Straight up.
It shows sincerity on your part and also makes you look manly/brave.
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EXACTLY what I was thinking. This is why I'm still thinking about it over and over again. I think I should ask her out again and then tell her or something... God, it's killing me so hard! Thoughts going back and forth at lightspeed.
Still, I'd like to know if other people here experienced receiving/sending love letters.
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This might sound harsh but it'll help if you reframe your own position. You don't REALLY like her. You don't know her well enough for that to be the case yet. Rather you really like the idea of her. You like what you know so far and you're interested in finding more out.
If you go from that position you'll be more confident and also more able to move on if you should find disappointment this time. There are lots of interesting and attractive girls in the world so don't put all your eggs in one basket before you've even hate a single date with a girl.
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On December 30 2010 23:36 gonkulator wrote:
Still, I'd like to know if other people here experienced receiving/sending love letters.
I got a love letter from a girl once... in sixth grade - and that kind of stuff stays there.
It was cute, but really, that's all it is.
Look at it in risk-to-reward, the higher the risk the greater the chance for return.
Send a letter, low risk > low chance of return.
Man up and tell her straight up, high risk > higher chance of return.
Not the best example, but yeah, I just woke up.
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Call me old fashion but send her a letter i always wanted to know what will happened.
No really no letters and definitely dont use your friend to tell her you kind of like her ! NO ! its time to man up and you should tell it to her face to face. its not so hard just tell her if she wants to go out.
You can do it.
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This one time I sent a letter to a girl but then her mom ended up reading it first, then her dad, then her little bro and then her.
Laughter echo'd through my little town that day and I was forever known as that guy who draws smily faces and hearts sideways in real life
Go on a date couple times, buy her food, don't be omg pressure, and dont send love letters
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Two criteria to think about:
1. Is she Asian?
Asian girls love this kinda shit cuz they don't have to make up their mind on the spot. You do it in person they gotta be in an awkward situation and have to come up with an answer there and then.
2. Do her friends like you?
If you give her enough time, she'll ask her friends. If you think thats +points for you, then this route looks better.
Yes yes... man up and all, but by the awkward laugh you put in your post I'm gonna assume you're between 13 and 15 and I'll give you some time to get through puberty, so to some extent this is forgivable.
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10387 Posts
love letters sound cute :3 but that kind of stuff should stay in elementary/mangas/stories sadly..
Like everyone else is saying, just go ask her out on dates and stuff lol
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Are you in high school? If so, fine. If you're in any higher level of education, man up.
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White. Probably 15.
Also, no dont do it you wuss
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Love letters are incredibly romantic and a great way to let a gal know you're an old-fashioned gentleman. Here is a letter I wrote to a girl. She's gone now, but I think the letter still works. Feel free to use any or all of it in your letter.
Dear Jenny,
Wow, it was tough to find your address this time! How did we ever live without the internet? I like your new apartment, although the landlord seems a bit nosy. I guess that’s New York for you! How are you feeling? I saw some empty bottles of cough medicine in your garbage; I hope you’re doing all right. It would be a shame for you to be stuck in bed and not get to show off that lovely new hair color. You look so different I almost didn’t recognize you, but your scent was unmistakable.
My feelings for you are like the spark between Will Smith and Gabrielle Union in the smash-hit action film Bad Boys II. Their love was forbidden, too. See, police officer Mike Lowrey (Smith) falls for Syd Burnett (Union), who also happens to be the sister of his partner Marcus (played by versatile funnyman Martin Lawrence). Mike is afraid to tell Marcus as their professional relationship is already strained by multiple compounding issues. Their ongoing investigation into ecstasy smuggling gets complicated by the fact that Marcus is having doubts about the future of their partnership. Part of this is because Mike accidentally shot Marcus in the buttocks while they raided a KKK meeting. I once shot a deer in the buttocks and it lived, and then I got lost in the woods.
So Mike and Marcus are investigating known Cuban drug lord Johnny Tapia (played by Jordi Mollà, whom Union called “The Tom Cruise of Spain”) and his illicit dealings. At one point they pretend to be exterminators to plant a bug in Tapia’s house, and they see some rats having sex! I’m not sure if the rats were real as Mr. Bay has not returned my letters yet. That’s ok though, he’s a busy man and I can wait. I’m very good at waiting. So Syd gets entangled with Johnny Tapia as well as she is an undercover DEA agent. Soon, things escalate and Marcus and Mike are forced to risk everything to save her when she’s kidnapped and brought to Cuba. Along the way there is some funny banter and lots of action. I think on our first date we should watch Bad Boys II. I know you’re thinking we can’t because I already spoiled it for you, but trust me when I say you can watch this movie every day and never get tired of all It has to offer. I’m currently on my 5th Blu-ray copy. Did you know DVDs and Blu-ray discs could wear out from use? They can.
I think what I am trying to say is that I would risk the relationship with my lifelong best friend and cop partner to be with you. Please let me know if you feel the same way. I will be waiting in the silver Camry parked across the street from your apartment building every day this week.
We will ride and die together,
Jack
PS you should cut up or shred important mail that you throw out so someone bad (like Johnny Tapia) doesn’t find out too much about you when they go through your garbage. Also, I have enclosed some strands of hair with the follicles still attached as they have gotten into the envelope and I can’t get them out. It’s my only envelope.
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You don't love her, wtf. You might love the idea of her.
Love letters are something that are great to use once you are actually in a relationship, so fuck all the people that say they are silly. Women love them alooooooot.
But for asking them out, it makes you look like you're 5. Just confront her, it's hard but you'll thank yourself some day.
Is it fair to guess age and aim for you being 16ish? I might even aim younger, but kids these days.
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On December 31 2010 00:16 JackMcCoy wrote:
Love letters are incredibly romantic and a great way to let a gal know you're an old-fashioned gentleman. Here is a letter I wrote to a girl. She's gone now, but I think the letter still works. Feel free to use any or all of it in your letter.
Dear Jenny,
Wow, it was tough to find your address this time! How did we ever live without the internet? I like your new apartment, although the landlord seems a bit nosy. I guess that’s New York for you! How are you feeling? I saw some empty bottles of cough medicine in your garbage; I hope you’re doing all right. It would be a shame for you to be stuck in bed and not get to show off that lovely new hair color. You look so different I almost didn’t recognize you, but your scent was unmistakable.
My feelings for you are like the spark between Will Smith and Gabrielle Union in the smash-hit action film Bad Boys II. Their love was forbidden, too. See, police officer Mike Lowrey (Smith) falls for Syd Burnett (Union), who also happens to be the sister of his partner Marcus (played by versatile funnyman Martin Lawrence). Mike is afraid to tell Marcus as their professional relationship is already strained by multiple compounding issues. Their ongoing investigation into ecstasy smuggling gets complicated by the fact that Marcus is having doubts about the future of their partnership. Part of this is because Mike accidentally shot Marcus in the buttocks while they raided a KKK meeting. I once shot a deer in the buttocks and it lived, and then I got lost in the woods.
So Mike and Marcus are investigating known Cuban drug lord Johnny Tapia (played by Jordi Mollà, whom Union called “The Tom Cruise of Spain”) and his illicit dealings. At one point they pretend to be exterminators to plant a bug in Tapia’s house, and they see some rats having sex! I’m not sure if the rats were real as Mr. Bay has not returned my letters yet. That’s ok though, he’s a busy man and I can wait. I’m very good at waiting. So Syd gets entangled with Johnny Tapia as well as she is an undercover DEA agent. Soon, things escalate and Marcus and Mike are forced to risk everything to save her when she’s kidnapped and brought to Cuba. Along the way there is some funny banter and lots of action. I think on our first date we should watch Bad Boys II. I know you’re thinking we can’t because I already spoiled it for you, but trust me when I say you can watch this movie every day and never get tired of all It has to offer. I’m currently on my 5th Blu-ray copy. Did you know DVDs and Blu-ray discs could wear out from use? They can.
I think what I am trying to say is that I would risk the relationship with my lifelong best friend and cop partner to be with you. Please let me know if you feel the same way. I will be waiting in the silver Camry parked across the street from your apartment building every day this week.
We will ride and die together,
Jack
PS you should cut up or shred important mail that you throw out so someone bad (like Johnny Tapia) doesn’t find out too much about you when they go through your garbage. Also, I have enclosed some strands of hair with the follicles still attached as they have gotten into the envelope and I can’t get them out. It’s my only envelope.
Hey man you should spoiler this, otherwise your gona get alot of pms asking you out on a date.
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Scratch all that other advice, use JackMcCoy's letter - spot on Jack, spot on.
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United Kingdom16710 Posts
Whatever you do, you should do it soon because it is so easy to get stuck in that 'friend zone' especially for girls. A letter is ok i guess but it is much better to do it in person. I've been rejected a couple of time in person to know how much it hurts but you can also start to move on quicker because you heard it straight up. Well, whatever you decide to do, good luck and i hope she feels the same way.
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Loveletters can probably work in some cases, but when they do it is most likely when the girl is all ready into you. Which means your relationship could easily evolve beyond being friends even without such loveletter.
However, if you are gonna write it anyway, its probably best to avoid going on and on with sugarcoated cliches. Just tell her how you feel for her and why you would like to be more than friends. Then, if she feels the same, you can move on from there in-person.
Good luck, whatever you chose to do
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On December 31 2010 00:16 JackMcCoy wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Love letters are incredibly romantic and a great way to let a gal know you're an old-fashioned gentleman. Here is a letter I wrote to a girl. She's gone now, but I think the letter still works. Feel free to use any or all of it in your letter.
Dear Jenny,
Wow, it was tough to find your address this time! How did we ever live without the internet? I like your new apartment, although the landlord seems a bit nosy. I guess that’s New York for you! How are you feeling? I saw some empty bottles of cough medicine in your garbage; I hope you’re doing all right. It would be a shame for you to be stuck in bed and not get to show off that lovely new hair color. You look so different I almost didn’t recognize you, but your scent was unmistakable.
My feelings for you are like the spark between Will Smith and Gabrielle Union in the smash-hit action film Bad Boys II. Their love was forbidden, too. See, police officer Mike Lowrey (Smith) falls for Syd Burnett (Union), who also happens to be the sister of his partner Marcus (played by versatile funnyman Martin Lawrence). Mike is afraid to tell Marcus as their professional relationship is already strained by multiple compounding issues. Their ongoing investigation into ecstasy smuggling gets complicated by the fact that Marcus is having doubts about the future of their partnership. Part of this is because Mike accidentally shot Marcus in the buttocks while they raided a KKK meeting. I once shot a deer in the buttocks and it lived, and then I got lost in the woods.
So Mike and Marcus are investigating known Cuban drug lord Johnny Tapia (played by Jordi Mollà, whom Union called “The Tom Cruise of Spain”) and his illicit dealings. At one point they pretend to be exterminators to plant a bug in Tapia’s house, and they see some rats having sex! I’m not sure if the rats were real as Mr. Bay has not returned my letters yet. That’s ok though, he’s a busy man and I can wait. I’m very good at waiting. So Syd gets entangled with Johnny Tapia as well as she is an undercover DEA agent. Soon, things escalate and Marcus and Mike are forced to risk everything to save her when she’s kidnapped and brought to Cuba. Along the way there is some funny banter and lots of action. I think on our first date we should watch Bad Boys II. I know you’re thinking we can’t because I already spoiled it for you, but trust me when I say you can watch this movie every day and never get tired of all It has to offer. I’m currently on my 5th Blu-ray copy. Did you know DVDs and Blu-ray discs could wear out from use? They can.
I think what I am trying to say is that I would risk the relationship with my lifelong best friend and cop partner to be with you. Please let me know if you feel the same way. I will be waiting in the silver Camry parked across the street from your apartment building every day this week.
We will ride and die together,
Jack
PS you should cut up or shred important mail that you throw out so someone bad (like Johnny Tapia) doesn’t find out too much about you when they go through your garbage. Also, I have enclosed some strands of hair with the follicles still attached as they have gotten into the envelope and I can’t get them out. It’s my only envelope.
You say she's gone now, but what happened when she got the letter? And why is she gone, what exactly happened to her? There are so many possibilities!
p.s. Funniest thing I've read on TL in a while, well done =D
And to the OP, don't send a letter. It shows you're not very confident, girls (generally) don't like that. Just ask her out on a date and see what happens. DON'T tell her you love her.
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dude, i just confessed to a girl i like two weeks ago, you just gotta man up. I was hesitant at first but once you start talking, your gonna talk all the way. trust me, its way better. feels good man.
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Do whatever the hell you want.
Sure, not everything you do will get results you want, but the purpose of life is not being an efficient robot, but trying out things that YOU thought of and YOU like, and enjoying and learning the experience.
If you can follow it up with being ok with whatever happens, and never getting too attached to the outcome, you'll have a great life.
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Yes, please confess your love for her. I want to see you fail. :D
No seriously... best advice here was "tell her you kinda like her and ask her out". Sending a love letter will work on maybe 0.0001% of the female population. They're usually around 12-14 years of age. Telling her straight to her face, when you're not even in a relationship with her... is just stupid. Heck, even I (guy) rejected (reasonably good looking) girls purely because they showed too much affection way too early on. It's a turnoff. Get her to like you, get her to want you, have sex, make her want more. That's how it usually goes. At least where I'm from.
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This is a terrible idea bro.
Also you've done things one 'might' call dating? What the hell does that even mean, are you dating her or not? Have you kissed her yet? If not just tell her you like her when you're alone together or ask her on a date, like dinner or something and then tell her.
ps: BE CONFIDENT!!!!!!!!!
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Just do it. Don't make excuses for yourself. That's the girl's job to decide if she likes you.
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aww bro'h you just need to ride the barrels and get pitted
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Austin10833 Posts
On December 31 2010 01:27 Frits wrote:
This is a terrible idea bro.
Also you've done things one 'might' call dating? What the hell does that even mean, are you dating her or not? Have you kissed her yet? If not just tell her you like her when you're alone together or ask her on a date, like dinner or something and then tell her.
ps: BE CONFIDENT!!!!!!!!!
You might remember Frits from such forum posts as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid!"
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Use the Johnny Tapia love letter verbatim, just add this as PS:
"my love for you burns like the thousand suns in the skies, while my lust for you bursts like the sperm whale's mating call"
^^ from: MrHoon * December 30 2010 23:33
It would be PERFECT! xD
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Tell her straight up, you got TeamLiquid on your side.
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Canada2480 Posts
On December 30 2010 23:44 Konamix wrote:
This one time I sent a letter to a girl but then her mom ended up reading it first, then her dad, then her little bro and then her.
Laughter echo'd through my little town that day and I was forever known as that guy who draws smily faces and hearts sideways in real life
Go on a date couple times, buy her food, don't be omg pressure, and dont send love letters
konamix post is always epic
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teamliquid, where socially awkward nerds learn to branch out to find love...and blog about it.
please go the love letter route.
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With regards to the "might be dating," unless it's specifically said, how do you know if what you're doing with a girl is considered a date or not? I mean, if I and a girl do something (just the two of us, I mean) at what point is it a date? -_-
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I think a letter would be kind of cute :< depends on what you write in it, of course. Letters of confession can give really bad impressions of yourself, aka radiate weakness and romanticism. But remember, once upon a time, people flirted exclusively through letters! You can be a stud even in the written form. See Court Duel by Sherwood Smith for an teen-fantasy example of what every girl wants in a letter.
Also, if you're in Asia, this might be more acceptable.
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the baller(TL) way: love letter
the boring way: any other way
"the choice is yours & yours alone"
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There are definitely some things to consider here before making your move:
1. Are you willing to sacrifice her friendship? Telling her - even writing to her - about your feelings if she doesn't feel the same, might make your current relationship with her a bit awkward.
2. Are you willing to face rejection? If not, then feel her out before professing your love for her.
Good grief, if you want her you have to do something. The easiest way is to just ask her questions that will or will not give you a clue as to how she feels about you.
Save yourself some embarrassment and rejection. Don't pour your heart out until you're at least half way sure how she feels about you.
One thing is for sure, if you don't want anyone else to know your feelings, you NEVA put anything in writing. *looks at Konamix.
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Just slip her this in spelling class.
![[image loading]](http://randomfunnypicture.com/wp2/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/remember-notes-like-this.jpg)
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^ love dat trolling lol
Love letters are outdated. Sad, but true.
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On December 30 2010 23:31 plated.rawr wrote:Show nested quote +and I came to the conclusion that sending a love letter would be a great option to consider. Don't. Seriously. If you want the girl to respect you, you'll tell it to her face. If you can't, then it's not meant to be.
I don't this is completely true. Depends on the type of girl but some girls would really, absolutely love this. Please don't think you know everything about girls, and then generalize all girls into one lump.
I, personally, would love to get a love letter.
I think the biggest thing is if you're going to write a girl a love letter, then write it, and give it to her yourself, and tell her you like her at the same time. Not only does she get a cute reminder that you like her(the love letter), which she can read over and over(if she likes you back =P), you'll also get to man up and tell her, and she'll like that too.
A lot of girls(myself included) like to keep things as reminders. With one of my ex's, I kept every greyhound ticket I ever bought every time I went to see him. (He lived like an hour away, but no public busses went there) :>
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On December 31 2010 05:37 Myrkskog wrote:Just slip her this in spelling class.
Yeah just don't forget the Hearth on the I.
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IMO save the love letter for after you've been going out a while. It's a good card to play when you want to become more serious in the relationship. Don't waste it in the beginning.
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On December 31 2010 05:37 Myrkskog wrote:Just slip her this in spelling class.
This is the best yet. LOL Of course, I'd probably leave out the third option. *just shakes my head laughing
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Next time you see her just look her straight in the eyes and say, "Let's do this."
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On a sidenote, you might want to read Milan Kundera's "Identity".
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sounds like you sir, need a firm push in the buttox. getting rejected may suck but it WILL happen if you send a letter, believe it, that's how the world works. there isn't any pussy way to ask a girl out(rmrb girls are the ones with the pussies), be straight up and say yo lets go out motha fucker (you get the idea), and show some confidence. if you don't got any then just don't fucking start shaking like a retard in front of her, that means you aint got no confidence and will increase your chance of getting rejected.
by teh sounds of it she probably doesn't like you like you like her, but whatever it's too late for a normal friendship for you so ask her out, the sooner the better cuz you better believe that she aint gonna all suddenly fall in love with yo flaccid ass if you give it "time". there aint no time mother fucka so ask her out get rejected and take your losses without any regret. hey maybe she wont reject your noob ass and give you a chance, in that case... SCOREEE /highfive
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EPT
