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On December 29 2010 06:23 SpoR wrote:Thank you guys so much. The TC reduced the fine by 250$ and I still have a due of 113$ which I can easily take care of now. Now onto the other issues 
It will be addressed to the traffic commissioner as directed by the woman on the phone.
I would like it to be as formal as possible but professional and hitting all the points of my case. I don't want to get too crazy with details but I want to get into as much of the bullshit going on right now to get some sympathy without sounding too helpless and pathetic so I can be given some leniency.
If anyone cares to know this isn't even 1/10th of the shit wrong with my life right now. If I can get this taken care of I will at least have a start so I can start taking steps towards a better future. Shit's pretty bleak right now for me. All the cliches you've heard in movies & TV of someone at rock bottom I am at. Lost my license, car, place to live, place to even put my stuff, my job, unemployment ran out, lost 30 lbs from sacrifices on food to pay dues, no friends or family to crutch on, in need of dentistry, and I lost my gf of 4 years to top it off.
I'm not asking for your pity, just your help with this letter.
Rough Draft:
I am writing this letter because a mistake was made and the fine that I thought I had paid on 10/28/10 was not received in the allotted time of 11/9/10. It ended up going into collections and instead of $148 dollars has now become $500+. I have resent the payment of $148 in hopes of some leniency.
I am currently in the process of moving because I was recently laid off (store closed down) and have been on unemployment and I can not afford to pay my bills and rent, let alone eat. I have been actively looking for work and there seems to be nothing available in my area. Last week I underwent a few interviews for a job and it finally looked promising except for one thing. They did a background check and this seat belt ticket that I thought I had taken care of showed up as a misdemeanor (failure to appear). They called me back and told me they were very sorry but they could not hire me at this time due to this error and to come back when the ticket was taken care of and the next training session was starting. I really need to get this job and get back on track.
The main reason I was in Ventura was because I was trying to earn some money. The trip plus this ticket ended up costing me three fold what I set out to earn. I had to borrow the money from a relative. I intended to get to court and contest the citation but it proved much too costly to go back, as I now am staying in Huntington Beach. Since I do not have a vehicle my bipolar mother was nice enough to pick up the borrowed money. I specifically told her not to do anything with it but bring it to me, but she sent the payment herself incorrectly and it was ill received.
I have also heard of a thing(need to find a better word here: Legal device/mechanism?) called 'Trial by Declaration'. I actually wanted to plead not guilty to this ticket as well. I was wondering if I am still able to do this and to whom I can write a letter to do this.
I am only asking for some leniency as I am in a predicament right now and if this was resolved it would help immensely, as I have many other issues in all aspects of my life to deal with. Enclosed (3 picture attachments) I have the proof that the payment was sent on October the 28th of 2010.
Any tips you have on reorganizing information or sentences or whatever I could use.
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Also, the part about the rehiring is slightly embelished, but that doesn't change the fact that it really screwed me. They won't be running a training class again for 5 months so this really fucked me over. Anyone know of any jobs?
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From a quick read, it looks like you did a good job and it sounds pretty professional. You should try to fix up your writing though. It sounds rambling at parts (like the first sentence; break that into two sentences).
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On December 16 2010 15:32 rkffhk wrote:
I present the payment...
Re-sent
On December 16 2010 15:34 caelym wrote:
From a quick read, it looks like you did a good job and it sounds pretty professional. You should try to fix up your writing though. It sounds rambling at parts (like the first sentence; break that into two sentences).
ok, What else sounds rambly <-- not a word.
fixed the last few sentences about my mom paying it, how do they look?
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As long as you get your point across it's fine, GL.
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They did a background check and it this seat belt ticket that I thought I had taken care of showed up as a misdemeanor (failure to appear).
remove that word
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yea I did, stupid notepad has this habit of not backspacing lines and then overwriting or some strange shit.
OK I reread it like 50 times now and I think that is as good as I am capable of making it. I'll come back in the morning to see if anyone has any changes and send it off.
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Austin10831 Posts
I'd probably say something like:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter in hopes of resolving an outstanding fine that lapsed through a misunderstanding on my part. I have sent the principal payment, but currently find myself unable to afford the resulting late fees that were imposed due to my mistake. I am not looking to escape this debt, only to resolve this situation amicably and with the most beneficial and expedient outcome for all involved parties.
Having been recently laid off and unable to find work, my financial situation is quite poor. The ticket, which has ballooned into a misdemeanor, has caused problems with me securing a new job and I am anxious to bring this situation to a resolution as fast as possible. Doing so will virtually secure my ability to get employment and greatly improve my current quality of life.
The initial payment was sent incorrectly after a misunderstanding with a relative. I bear this responsibility, but I wish to express that I attempted to make the payment in full and on timewith full faith it would be received. Now I am just trying to correct that mistake. I have attached (or enclosed) some images (or pictures) as evidence to demonstrate my full faith efforts to resolve this issue on time, before the deadline.
Any help or advisement you can impart in this matter will be well received, and I look forward to hearing from you. It is my sincere belief that putting this problem behind me will greatly help my current situation. Thank you in advance for you help and consideration.
I think finding out about changing your plea on the initial ticket is something you should probably do outside the letter. Best of luck.
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What Brood wrote sounds really nice imo.
+ Show Spoiler +Thank you in advance for your* help and consideration.
edit: shitty situation, gl!
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I guess it depends on the person who receives the letter but I dunno if the more generic version you wrote is as indicative as mine to really sell my case. I will definitely try and work some of that into it though. It looks really good. I was also thinking that I should leave out that TbD part out and try to do that after this was taken care of, so I will do that. Thanks
PS- What should I address the traffic commissioner with?
Dear Traffic Commissioner? What exactly is a TC, a judge?
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Austin10831 Posts
On December 16 2010 15:56 SpoR wrote:
I guess it depends on the person who receives the letter but I dunno if the more generic version you wrote is as indicative as mine to really sell my case. I will definitely try and work some of that into it though. It looks really good. I was also thinking that I should leave out that TbD part out and try to do that after this was taken care of, so I will do that. Thanks
PS- What should I address the traffic commissioner with?
Dear Traffic Commissioner? What exactly is a TC, a judge?
I'd be careful about trying to appeal to someone's emotions by going into too much personal detail. There's a significant risk of it backfiring and the reader feeling like they're being manipulated. You obviously can't know how the person will react to your letter, but I'd try to err on the side of caution and just be succinct and straight-forward.
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yea that's what I was worrying about. I'm gonna have to redo the whole letter with most of your letter as the core of it.
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On a different topic, I think its sad when money starts to become more important than most other things in life. If I was the one reading and checking these late traffic tickets, the government would go bankrupt because I just can't imagine putting someone in such a situation to not have food to eat. For a traffic ticket? Sometimes, man...let us know how this works out.
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Dont attempt to appeals to judges emotion on a letter, NEVER. Only do it if you are standing in front of them and THEY open that door.
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On December 16 2010 16:14 SaiyAN wrote:
On a different topic, I think its sad when money starts to become more important than most other things in life. If I was the one reading and checking these late traffic tickets, the government would go bankrupt because I just can't imagine putting someone in such a situation to not have food to eat. For a traffic ticket? Sometimes, man...let us know how this works out.
yea and to be honest I was reflecting on my whole situation and its all stemming from the rape of tickets to me.
It all started when I paid off the van that I bought. I was saving a few hundred to get new registration and pink slip and all that in my name. Then I got streetsweeper, parking, and registration tickets like literally once or twice a month for about 5 months because the god damned SS came 8 times a month on my street. So then I got a fix it ticket when I got pulled over for expired tags. Cop told me to fix it and i wouldnt pay anything, and its no prob. I fixed it but didnt know I had to go to court to prove it.. Then 6 months later I get a letter saying some shit so I call this office and I find out I have a follow up court date soon (which btw I was never notified about). So I go to court and im literally the first person there (8am and court starts at like 3pm) and the last to leave at like 6pm or whatever the fuck. The judge tells me 980$ in 3 months or 300 in fees plus community service slave labor for less than minimum wage when you do the math (not even counting travel time and expenses for the bus and shit). Both of which I can not afford. So then the fine increase to like 1250$ or something absurd. I'm trying to find a second job with no car and already struggling to get to work (because the bus doesn't run on weekends or holidays) and the bus is just a fucking terrible unreliable/inconsistent POS way to get around in the first place unless you leave to catch it an hour before every where you go. Not to mention bus fare increasing because CA is broke. So then I get laid off and get on unemployment and the govt is paying for me because they fucked me into a hole in the first place. And when I get out I still gotta pay out some more.
Story of my life is starting with nothing and getting fucked over so I stay with nothing when I try to climb the fuck out. not a class society my ass.
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On December 16 2010 17:26 SpoR wrote:Show nested quote +On December 16 2010 16:14 SaiyAN wrote:
On a different topic, I think its sad when money starts to become more important than most other things in life. If I was the one reading and checking these late traffic tickets, the government would go bankrupt because I just can't imagine putting someone in such a situation to not have food to eat. For a traffic ticket? Sometimes, man...let us know how this works out. yea and to be honest I was reflecting on my whole situation and its all stemming from the rape of tickets to me. It all started when I paid off the van that I bought. I was saving a few hundred to get new registration and pink slip and all that in my name. Then I got streetsweeper, parking, and registration tickets like literally once or twice a month for about 5 months because the god damned SS came 8 times a month on my street. So then I got a fix it ticket when I got pulled over for expired tags. Cop told me to fix it and i wouldnt pay anything, and its no prob. I fixed it but didnt know I had to go to court to prove it.. Then 6 months later I get a letter saying some shit so I call this office and I find out I have a follow up court date soon (which btw I was never notified about). So I go to court and im literally the first person there (8am and court starts at like 3pm) and the last to leave at like 6pm or whatever the fuck. The judge tells me 980$ in 3 months or 300 in fees plus community service slave labor for less than minimum wage when you do the math (not even counting travel time and expenses for the bus and shit). Both of which I can not afford. So then the fine increase to like 1250$ or something absurd. I'm trying to find a second job with no car and already struggling to get to work (because the bus doesn't run on weekends or holidays) and the bus is just a fucking terrible unreliable/inconsistent POS way to get around in the first place unless you leave to catch it an hour before every where you go. Not to mention bus fare increasing because CA is broke. So then I get laid off and get on unemployment and the govt is paying for me because they fucked me into a hole in the first place. And when I get out I still gotta pay out some more. Story of my life is starting with nothing and getting fucked over so I stay with nothing when I try to climb the fuck out. not a class society my ass.
I'm sorry your life is so terrible. T_T
The only thing I can offer is this token of my sympathy.
O <-- (token of sympathy)
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I'm really sorry to hear about your situation here, SpoR. Can't believe how much they're asking you to pay. Seems absurd.
I think you realize that Brood gave you a really good text. If you're reworking your letter around his suggestions, excellent. Just repost your revised copy, and we can take a look at it to see if any further improvements can be made.
Good luck, man!
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This happened to mom but she had no luck appealing it :/. But best of luck to you!
Also, when I read the letter, it seems almost insulting because you are throwing in your life story and want pity... imo I think it is much too personal.
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Another vote for Brood's version here. If you were talking to your friends about whats going on, the first is appropriate, but in a professional/official context it just sounds whiny.
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Go with Broods post chalz, and good luck homie!
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That blows man. Good luck with getting it cleared up.
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That sounds really rough, hope you can sort it out ok. I would also go with Brood's post. Best of luck man!
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Good luck with the letter!
:/
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I've been busy the last couple of days and unable to finish this letter. How does this combo look?
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter in hopes of resolving an outstanding fine that lapsed through on a misunderstanding. I received a seat belt citation a few months ago, case # XXXXXXXX. Originally the payment was sent on 10/28/10 and was ill received. I have resent the principal payment, but currently find myself unable to afford the resulting late fees that were imposed due to the mistake. I am trying to resolve this situation amicably and with the most beneficial and expedient outcome for all involved parties.
Having been recently laid off and unable to find work, my financial situation is quite poor. The ticket, which has ballooned into a misdemeanor, has caused problems with me securing a new job because the background checks come up negative. I am anxious to bring this situation to a resolution as fast as possible. Doing so will virtually secure my ability to get employment and greatly improve my current quality of life.
The initial payment was sent incorrectly after a misunderstanding with a relative. I bear this responsibility, but I wish to express that I attempted to make the payment in full and on time with full faith it would be received. Now I am just trying to correct that mistake. I have attached some images as evidence to demonstrate my full faith efforts to resolve this issue on time, before the deadline.
Any leniency or advisement you can impart in this matter will be well received, and I look forward to hearing from you. It is my sincere belief that putting this problem behind me will greatly help my current situation. Thank you in advance for you help and consideration.
Sincerely,
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I think you've made a solid synthesis there. Here's my riff on it, with my suggestions in bold. Most of my suggestions are simply attempts to try to specify the language as much as possible. I think specific language will suggest to the reader that you're honest and sincere.
Don't, of course, take any of these suggestions as law. They're just what I would write if I were in your shoes:
I am writing this letter in hopes of resolving an outstanding fine that lapsed due to a misunderstanding on my part. A few months ago, I received a seat belt citation: case # XXXXXXXX. Originally the payment was sent on 10/28/10, but it was not received (I think this wording is a little less accusatory than “ill received”). I have resent the principal payment, but currently find myself unable to afford the resulting late fees that were imposed due to the mistake. I am trying to resolve this situation amicably (maybe try the word “responsibly”? I like the sound of it better, but it's just a personal style thing) and with the most beneficial and expedient outcome for all involved parties.
Having been recently laid off and unable to find work, my financial situation is quite poor (“strained”? again... just a possible change, not a necessary one by any means). The ticket, which has ballooned into a misdemeanor, has impaired my ability to secure a new job because the background checks come up negative. I am anxious resolve this situation as fast as possible. Doing so will virtually secure my ability to get employment and greatly improve my current quality of life.
The initial payment was sent incorrectly because of a misunderstanding on one of my relative's behalf. I realize that I bear this responsibility, but I wish to express that I attempted to make the payment in full and on time with full faith it would be received. Now I am simply trying to correct that mistake. I have attached some images as evidence to demonstrate my full faith efforts to resolve this issue on time, before the deadline.
Any leniency or advisement you can impart in this matter will be gratefully received, and I look forward to hearing from you. It is my sincere belief that putting this problem behind me will greatly alleviate my current financial hardships. Thank you in advance for you help and consideration.
I really hope you get this shit works out for you.
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Oh yeah and here is a version without the formatting, in case you don't want to fiddle with removing my parentheses and shit:
I am writing this letter in hopes of resolving an outstanding fine that lapsed due to a misunderstanding on my part. A few months ago, I received a seat belt citation: case # XXXXXXXX. Originally the payment was sent on 10/28/10, but it was not received. I have resent the principal payment, but currently find myself unable to afford the resulting late fees that were imposed due to the mistake. I am trying to resolve this situation responsibly and with the most beneficial and expedient outcome for all involved parties.
Having been recently laid off and unable to find work, my financial situation is quite strained. The ticket, which has ballooned into a misdemeanor, has impaired my ability to secure a new job because the background checks come up negative. I am anxious to resolve this situation as fast as possible. Doing so will virtually secure my ability to get employment and greatly improve my current quality of life.
The initial payment was sent incorrectly because of a misunderstanding on one of my relative's behalf. I realize that I bear this responsibility, but I wish to express that I attempted to make the payment in full and on time with full faith it would be received. Now I am simply trying to correct that mistake. I have attached some images as evidence to demonstrate my full faith efforts to resolve this issue on time, before the deadline.
Any leniency or advisement you can impart in this matter will be gratefully received, and I look forward to hearing from you. It is my sincere belief that putting this problem behind me will greatly alleviate my current financial hardships. Thank you in advance for you help and consideration.
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Well I sent it out already but thanks again everyone. Thanks a lot. 
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I'm glad you sent mostly Brood's letter. It's not that you didn't get the point across in your initial letter, it's just that brood is pretty much a fantastic writer. Good luck.
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Thank you guys so much. The TC reduced the fine by 250$ and I still have a due of 113$ which I can easily take care of now. Now onto the other issues
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EPT
