If this is your first time reading this thread I require that you open the following spoiler and listen to the song inside whilst reading the remainder of the thread, if this is too hardcore for you then go play with my little ponies or braid your hair or something, faggot.
So I awoke from my luxurious slumber this morning, rolled out of my king sized bed with my 3 hot asian girlfriends (all of which sleep curled up at the foot of the bed), went to the kitchen and prepared my customary breakfast, a bowl of napalm and roofing nails, and logged in to tl to check my pm's. After slugging though all the love pm's from peanut and smix (I don't date below 2k diamond), I was shocked to see this.
Needless to say, seeing this caused an upwelling of unbridled rage so powerful I beat 2 of my 3 girlfriends to death before the third could calm me down. (she was my favorite anyways)
Warning: Most of the rest of this OP is in allcaps and too hardcore for you.
RAGEWALRUS ACTIVATE Major props to Coagulation for photoshopping this for me taking this picture of me irl, sorry for the third degree burns
How DARE you?
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SCRUB? YOU COME IN HERE CALLING ME A LIAR?!?!?!? I'VE KILLED ENTIRE BUSLOADS OF CHILDREN FOR LOOKING AT ME FUNNY, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN CALL ME A LIAR AND GET AWAY WITH IT? I AM GOING TO DEVOUR YOUR INNARDS YOU MISERABLE FUCK!
But since this is the internet, and you are obviously too cowardly to reveal your true identity, I must provide you with a challenge that you may accept. I, the one true walrus of teamliquid, challenge you to the GREATEST BO5 SC2 GRUDGEMATCH THE WORLD WILL EVER SEE
I've already gotten the godly HATEPLOW (known to most as Boesthius) to agree to stream it, all that is left is for you to reveal yourself by posting in this thread and accepting my challenge.
Each player will be allowed to veto 2 maps from the current ladder map pool, and then we will have a poll to decide the order in which the remaining 5 maps will be played.
(also since people don't really like watching zvz i guess if you are zerg we can do random bo5 or bo9 all matchups, idk)
The date is tentatively set for December 17th (this walrus has finals yo) but that can be modified if need be.
So, what'll it be? Are you going to give the good citizens of TL what they want? Or are you going to hide, like a coward?
Poll: Results?
bitch doesn't even respond (112)
81%
Tusk Warrior 5-0 crying 4 year old (13)
9%
Lemonwalrus 3-0 useless scrub (7)
5%
Brave Sir Walrus 4-0 walking abortion (6)
4%
138 total votes
Your vote: Results?
(Vote): Lemonwalrus 3-0 useless scrub (Vote): Brave Sir Walrus 4-0 walking abortion (Vote): Tusk Warrior 5-0 crying 4 year old (Vote): bitch doesn't even respond
I do so hope he responds to this challenge, would be epic epic epic.
They should make you a unit Walrus, hydralisks are so weak right now that we need a thick skinned, lava emitting, saber toothed, fiery lemon slinging walrus unit.
On December 03 2010 08:57 Lemonwalrus wrote: I just realized if he never responds I'm just going to look like a lame troll....shit....i gave my nemesis a win-win.
Edit: If any mod wants to confirm that fakewalrus' ip doesn't match mine that would be bossmatic.
But you are a fakewalrus so Fakewalrus's IP already matches yourself.
On December 03 2010 09:29 Ilikestarcraft wrote: lol i got a pm from him too
Is it as threatening as walrus's pm? If so, I'd like to see it. Anyone who puts this much effort into threatening pms deserves some recognition. The lemon with a knife in its head was an especially nice touch.
Warning! This message is from a user with 0 posts. Do not reveal any personal information or click any links unless you are sure this is a legitimate user. im the real lemonwalrus Reply
This was pretty entertaining to read. I hope he doesn't chicken out and decides to play you. This would make a very interesting grudge match. Other than that, the music + caps lock didn't really seem hard-core enough. ;P
On December 03 2010 11:49 Fakewalrus wrote: also im gonna rate all ur blogs 1 star and there is nothin u can do abot it
I think shit is ready to get realer.
That song in the OP is making this post I'm quoting seem much more intense, trust me. I mean, it already is intense, so just imagine how much fire is hurting me at this moment.
On December 03 2010 17:39 Roffles wrote: But wait, you ARE a fake walrus though.
Stop spreading such blatant lies! I mean, SURE its impossible to type with flippers SURE Walruses can't actually read, write, or speak. SURE they would be submerged in water anyways and probably unable to operate electric equipment but you know lemonwalrus is a walrus.
On December 03 2010 17:39 Roffles wrote: But wait, you ARE a fake walrus though.
Stop spreading such blatant lies! I mean, SURE its impossible to type with flippers SURE Walruses can't actually read, write, or speak. SURE they would be submerged in water anyways and probably unable to operate electric equipment but you know lemonwalrus is a walrus.
On December 04 2010 00:17 Smix wrote: Liarus. I only send love pms to people with over 30,715 posts.
Actually....now that you mention it....your little lover boy might actually be the one behind this....
EPIC LOVE TRIANGLE GRUDGEMATCH
Kona if the 17th doesn't work we can do it on the 16th or the 18th, just start naming times. (I'm still not ruling out MrHoon or ilikestarcraft as possibilities though)
From: Ilikestarcraft [ 14386 posts | Profile | Buddy ] Subject: Re: hi Date: 5/17/10 21:08 YOU NOT A WALRUS ----------------------------------------- Original Message: I'm bored at work.
On December 04 2010 00:23 Fakewalrus wrote: fortunly for u i hav to ride aeroplan on the 17th ill let u off ez dis time, but u betta watch out u lying citris sea cow
Or maybe I'm pretending and it was me the whole time. I could forge pms and I usually 1 star everyones blog. I was also on tl when fakewalrus posted. You make a terrible detective lol.
On December 04 2010 06:59 Ilikestarcraft wrote: I already found out who it was :>
Or maybe I'm pretending and it was me the whole time. I could forge pms and I usually 1 star everyones blog. I was also on tl when fakewalrus posted. You make a terrible detective lol.
Who was it? I'll give you anything!
Edit: Or are you saying it really is you?!? The rage, it has confused me.
On December 06 2010 03:14 Lemonwalrus wrote: I'm so getting 1984'd right now.
Well, at least it was for a high quality blog post - a rarity these days. I got my laughs out of it. Next time, however, include something about fakewalrus and a girl that wants to date you and invites you to a club even though she is significantly older than you, or something along those lines
On December 04 2010 00:23 Fakewalrus wrote: fortunly for u i hav to ride aeroplan on the 17th ill let u off ez dis time, but u betta watch out u lying citris sea cow
You're the one who lucked out. Lemonwalrus would impale you on his tusks any day of the week.
No, i'm getting 1984'd as in this wasn't me but banlings that want to be funny are saying it is my ip. Feel free to show fakewalrus' shared ip screenshots any banling that wants to, if he shares my ip i'll take my perm without complaint.
Technically this will be our second bo5 grudgematch if he agrees, since i 3-1'ed him a long time ago (but in his defense he was drunk off his ass that time.)
I wager this is a highly developed plot thrown together by boesthius and lemonwalrus to slowly mind control us TLer's and enslave all that is good in starcraft. Maybe.
boes has no chance, i 3-1'ed (3-2 because we played a fifth game because idk why) him when he was drunk and offracing, and extrapolating iccup rank style i think I should be able to 3-0 him when he is sober and playing his main race.
On December 07 2010 09:23 Lemonwalrus wrote: boes has no chance, i 3-1'ed (3-2 because we played a fifth game because idk why) him when he was drunk and offracing, and extrapolating iccup rank style i think I should be able to 3-0 him when he is sober and playing his main race.
EPT![[image loading]](http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/8527/betrayal0.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/5974/7tzv4.png)
Fakewalrus is already dead. 5/5 the music was perfect btw 
![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/images/usericons/Z7.gif)
> ![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/images/usericons/Z0.gif)
![[image loading]](http://www.abload.de/img/lemonwalrus7bqv.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/s0EY7.png)
![[image loading]](http://dl.dropbox.com/u/51844/TL/LemonWalrus.jpg)
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