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[asian] girl blog (guaranteed 5 stars amirite?) - Page 4

Blogs > Kezzer
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 All
Bereft
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States1007 Posts
September 30 2010 02:05 GMT
#61
this thread became so much more amazing than i expected.

and also:

On September 30 2010 09:07 baller wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 30 2010 07:15 Kezzer wrote:
On September 30 2010 06:18 baller wrote:
On September 30 2010 03:25 Kezzer wrote:
Ok, so I have been in college for the past month or so(freshman), and I have been fooling around with girls at parties and such nothing serious.
...
What should have I done? Is she into me or am I just full of shit? Should I go there on friday and try talking to her? I feel that might be a bit awkward though if i saw her just sitting there and started talking to her "hey... doing math hw? cool, cool... so you were staring at me 2 days ago, lets fuck"

so let me drop some summarization up in this thread

1. ur a straight hookin up with the honeys at parties

2. u can't figure out wat to say to some random chick u never met b4

3. u ask the internet if it knows if she's into u bc i mean, we can totally tell from ur 2 line description of how she looked at u from across the library

4. instead of talking to her u stress about it like a pussy even tho ur sure she was "eye fuckin" u

ok ok now every1 take a look at these 4 facts, 1 of them doesn't belong

if you've ever been to a college party you would know that you don't need to have any social skills at all to start hooking up with a girl... so either you've never been to a party or you try to seduce every girl you see over the deafening music. My trouble was going across the silent math lab and trying to strike up a conversation with her while she was doing hw without deliberately saying lets have sex.

so how many total "parties" have u been to and what is ur success rate at hooking up with these fly honeys at these "parties?" u should have no problem bringing the hard numbers and % bc ur such a math lab wizard

all i see is a lot of talk and no proof

you should also get on those stats asap. if you're lucky baller will make you a chart. and everyone knows that with baller's math and statistics the world becomes a much simpler and clearer place.
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21552 Posts
September 30 2010 02:28 GMT
#62
On September 30 2010 05:28 BroOd wrote:
I learned most of my methods from a few key figures:

1. Orenthal Goff, a Los Angeles based fashion designer and musician.
2. Jesse James, the badass who cheated on Sandra Bullock with a neo Nazi
3. Don Simpson, legendary producer of films like The Rock, Top Gun and Beverly Hills Cop.

If you follow my advice and execute what I like to call the Orenthal-James-Simpson method, you won't fail.

And as any fashion designer will tell you, tight clothing looks best. Extremely tight. Especially your gloves.

Follow our advice and you'll be a real lady-killer!
Administrator
jjun212
Profile Joined December 2004
Canada2208 Posts
September 30 2010 02:37 GMT
#63
On September 30 2010 03:29 prodiG wrote:
This blog instantly reminds me of this, from world-famous baller.


[image loading]'

Don't turn into this guy, that's what you should do


fuck you
Entropic
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada2837 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-30 02:44:17
September 30 2010 02:44 GMT
#64
Just fuckin' talk to the girl normally man. Not like you got anything to lose.

Also to ^, lol.
Coil
Profile Joined May 2010
Argentina119 Posts
September 30 2010 05:16 GMT
#65
If she's asian, this is my advice, approach her doing the airplane dance [image loading]
while singing "YOU GOTTA KNOW IM FALLING IN LOVE".

Then proceed to have sex.

<@Failure> I GOT RIZZIED <@Failure> NO ORDINARY GURL KAE <@Failure> SHE RIZZIE
Cr4zyH0r5e
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Peru1308 Posts
September 30 2010 05:29 GMT
#66
On September 30 2010 05:56 BroOd wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 30 2010 05:52 Chill wrote:
1. (3 Points) I believe a girl is interested in me. Should I:

a) Talk to her
b) Silently take note of where she goes to class so that I can return two days later to a class I don't attend and awkwardly try to break the ice with her

The Orenthal-James-Simpson manual recommends option b, with moderate to heavy surveillance in between the two meetings. That way you can impress her with gems like:

"Hey, is that Chanel #5 you're wearing?"
"Wow, yeah! How'd you know?"
"I watched you spray it on in your bathroom this morning"

Girls love attention to detail.


I find this ironically hilarious. I go to the mall with my gf fairly often, and I can recognize immediately some perfumes. Any chick will totally blush and ease into conversation if you recognize her perfume, so walk over to your nearest Sephora and memorize the smell of the 10 most popular perfumes. Then creep up behind her and smell her neck, make sure you touch her while doing this. It will generate sexual tension between you and if you just run like a girl after doing it the accumulated sexual tension will make her rip her clothes off and fuck you in the janitor's closet next time you see her.

In all seriousness... the quality of advice in this blog was particularly good. Be casual, be cool, be yourself unless you are convinced you are a total loser. The girl won't bite you, unless you piss her off while getting a blowjob; you might run into her again... Be like:

Oh, what's up?
-Girl: Oh hey it's you BLAH BLAH BLAH
Small talk ensues
Oh heey I still got your pencil from last time
-Girl: Oh yeah pshh it's just a pencil no biggie whatever whatever
Say something clever and funny
She laughs
Ask her what is she studying whatever whatever, be interested if she hasn't shut you down by then one of you is gonna have to leave, ask for her number/ ask her out for dinner whatever.

^Ignore everything above this line; Are you seriously asking for girl advice on TL?
Be a man, be confident in yourself. Fuck what everyone else says. You do things the best you can and if you succeed you're a winner; if you fail then you learned something.
Good Luck ^^
Diamond 4 Jungle/Support - http://www.twitch.tv/cr4zyh0r5e/c/3051057 Zyra support 101
Murderotica
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Vatican City State2594 Posts
September 30 2010 05:55 GMT
#67
Pm larjarse he started a girl help thread he seemed pretty legit IMO
ǝsnoɥ ssɐlƃ ɐ uı sǝuoʇs ʍoɹɥʇ ʇ,uop || sıʇɹoɟ ɹǝdɯǝs
Meapak_Ziphh
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States6788 Posts
September 30 2010 06:00 GMT
#68
We need a Brood vs Baller girl advice smack down. I am seriously loving this thread, all these big TL names giving their tips... I can already tell these will come in handy.
Forti et Fideli ~ TL Mafia Forum: Come play with us! ~ Go Samsung KHAN, Stork, JangBi , Shine, Grape, and TurN Fighting!~ wat
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
September 30 2010 06:33 GMT
#69
On September 30 2010 15:00 Meapak_Ziphh wrote:
We need a Brood vs Baller girl advice smack down. I am seriously loving this thread, all these big TL names giving their tips... I can already tell these will come in handy.

Yeah, get the next two girl problem threads. Assign 1 champion to each thread and see who is most successful.
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-30 06:49:05
September 30 2010 06:46 GMT
#70
One thing you need to make sure of is if you're going to do this, make sure to post on TL from her computer so we can trace IP to make sure its the same as the "pc bang's" IP. And also I'm sure she'll have 300 apm right?

PS: brb filling out brag blog application
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
September 30 2010 06:53 GMT
#71
[image loading]


Sup
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
Meapak_Ziphh
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States6788 Posts
September 30 2010 07:56 GMT
#72
Oh god the "print form email form buttons" completely made that application. And speaking of checking IPs we could have pokebunny and chill be our judges for the "best girl advisor on TL" challenge.
Forti et Fideli ~ TL Mafia Forum: Come play with us! ~ Go Samsung KHAN, Stork, JangBi , Shine, Grape, and TurN Fighting!~ wat
Loanshark
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
China3094 Posts
September 30 2010 11:22 GMT
#73
Girl blogs are bad but comments are funny. Brag blogs are bad. Girl brag blogs are even worse.

1/5
No dough, no go. And no mercy.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26003 Posts
September 30 2010 15:06 GMT
#74
Wait, so did we ever hear about the girls hes hooking up with at parties?
Moderator
bubblegumbo
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Taiwan1296 Posts
September 30 2010 15:40 GMT
#75
It's a good thing you asked for our opinions here at Team Liquid when it comes to luring Asian women, you will not die a virgin with our vast experience and advice. We promise.
"I honestly think that whoever invented toilet paper is a genius. For man to survive, they need toilet paper!"- Nal_rA
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
October 01 2010 15:47 GMT
#76
On September 30 2010 11:37 jjun212 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 30 2010 03:29 prodiG wrote:
This blog instantly reminds me of this, from world-famous baller.


[image loading]'

Don't turn into this guy, that's what you should do


fuck you


o nooo waaaah someones making fun of my hilariously dumb blog
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
NIIINO
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Slovakia1320 Posts
October 01 2010 17:07 GMT
#77
Go for it man ! Asian girls are pretty cute and will never dumped u for some shit, be nice and remember if its not working in bed it will work in kitchen : )
if she is Chines tell her you are WC3 player, if she is Korean tell her you are SC:BW player and if she is from Vietnam tell her you are playing DotA.
DO NOT tell her any jokes about Reavers !
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
October 01 2010 17:43 GMT
#78
You could be cool and pretend you signed up for the class with her, just go in and sit down beside her. If she's still eye fucking you then talk and flirt and whatnot... if she's weirded out, then whatever you don't show up later on
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