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Intro: My girlfriend did some stunning analysis on the recent issues plaguing ZvT. It addresses all the issues facing the competitive community and I urge professional consideration.
Starcraft, a Korean game, is a strategy-esque game where the first one came out a long time ago and the next one came out a couple of weeks ago. The first Starcraft game, also called Broodwar, apparently had really good balance between its three races and also gave players the potential to click around really fast. As a result, the Korean community developed a strong affirmation of the game and now hold tournaments with actual audiences and players and theme songs. The Korean Starcraft community has become a significant part of the overall Korean culture, which results in Koreans being often identified as "naturally goodgamers".
The three races in Starcraft are the Zerg, Terran, and Protoss. The Zerg are the enemy alien swarms and are led by Kerrigan, who was a human female but she was left behind in a Zerg swarm so she was converted to one of them and now leads the hivemind or something like that. She is also called the Queen of Blades.They are often identifiable by their bug-like features and excessive growling. The in-game main narrator is an assumed female Zerg who is always urging the player to mine "moar minerals" and "moar vespene gas". The urge for "moar" becomes a recurring theme, which ultimately depicts the Zerg as greedy individuals and an even greedier swarm. The Terran are the humans who are dressed like Gears of War characters and say things like "roger" and "MARIAAA" because the game meant for them to be Americans in order to bolster nationalism in the states. This is my thesis statement.
In the campaign, the Protoss are not immediately involved in the Zerg versus Terran battle over control of the world, but something happens that frustrates the Protoss and their leader, Zelerot. Zelerot has a shiny jewel on his arm that tells him when there is danger nearby and wears curtains around his head like hair or draperies. He also hides in the darkess and the shadows and basks in the twilight. In one poster for Starcraft 2, he can be seen being kicked by Kerrigan in a beam of light.
There has been much debate over the equality of the Zerg and the Terran lately, mostly focused on whether or not the Zerg and the Terran would be balanced in an perfect game played by perfect players. The Interational Society of Starcraft Pawns (ISSP) are currently in the process of genetically creating the perfect Starcraft players. Until then, ZvT disparities will try to be solved by providing the same bars and karaoke machines that the Terran have to Zerg bars and hookershacks.
3v3 BGH Hardcore is an example of a bigmap where people play with a lot of other people who play online at the same time as them but in different places. Players can choose between Zerg, Terran, Protoss, and Protoss Jr., and it is mostly difficult because the map covers a large area and players can be right next to their enemies. This sucks a lot sometimes because you could barely expand before your enemy sees your stuff. The biggest problem that players in BGH Hardcore run into is trying to sneak around their enemies by using their invisible units in order to get to the other side to capture the flag. So if Zelerot was in this position, hewould probably win because he has a lot of minions. This is my conclusion.
 
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are you serious or am i romanian?
but um, i didn't get the point of this.
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When god gives you a girlfriend
Find a new girlfriend
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My brain is full of fuck <o>
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On August 18 2010 17:27 TheAntZ wrote:
My brain is full of fuck <o>
User was warned for this post
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Korea (South)11586 Posts
this looks like it was written by someone who is in like 8th or 9th grade.
"This is my thesis." <-- really? I had no idea!
"This is my conclusion." <-- really?! Coulda fooled me!
I don't mean to sound rude, but she really just gave a really horrible introduction of the 3 races, and then she described how a few people are looking at the balances of Terran and Zerg. She randomly adds in protoss, and says that she has concluded her thoughts.
Her thesis is that the game is made by Americans to boost nationalism, where her conclusion is about balances of the game? uhhh what?
I give her props for being at least semi-interested in the game.
Oh well. This is my reply to your blog.
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Don't see why people make such a big deal about a girl knowing something about games or playing games or whatever. I don't think there is anything more annoying than a female gamer who thinks she deserves attention and praise only for her gender.
This is just a bad essay about SC2 whether a girl wrote it or not
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Katowice25012 Posts
"Bigmap" and "hewould" are not words. Hope that helps!
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On August 18 2010 17:55 heyoka wrote:
"Bigmap" and "hewould" are not words. Hope that helps!
another example of tl elitism
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my favorite part was "this is my thesis statement"
pretty, nice, or smart. pick 2
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what is this i dont even ...
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quick thought
On August 18 2010 17:14 shindigs wrote:
Intro: My girlfriend did some stunning analysis on the recent issues plaguing ZvT. It addresses all the issues facing the competitive community and I urge professional consideration.
Starcraft, a Korean game, ....
errr...???
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TL has surprised me again! I thought for sure everybody would be saying 'good god BEST ESSAY EVER'
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On August 18 2010 17:55 heyoka wrote:
"Bigmap" and "hewould" are not words. Hope that helps!
Neither is Zerelot... leader of the toss.
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"This is my conclusion" caps it off so nicely 
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On August 18 2010 17:59 DoctorHelvetica wrote:Show nested quote +On August 18 2010 17:55 heyoka wrote:
"Bigmap" and "hewould" are not words. Hope that helps! another example of tl elitism
I think it's an example of bad grammar.
It is what it is.
Zerelot made me giggle though... this too "wears curtains around his head like hair or draperies"
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I don't get the point of this.
There are some (wrong) general information like "Starcraft is a Korean game", then superficial details like the nickname given to Kerrigan. There is no analysis.
And :
+ Show Spoiler +
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she must be a natural blonde...
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Is it just me, or all people hear the person 'zerelot' for the first time? I don't think that protoss has only 1 leader. Protoss has conclaive (or conclave, i don't know which one is true), and it's like a parliament which decides everything.
On August 18 2010 18:30 l0st_romantic wrote:
she must be a natural blonde...
That's what I thought.
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Zerelot is offended by this post :/ 5/5
On August 18 2010 18:31 Metalwing wrote:
Is it just me, or all people hear the person 'zerelot' for the first time? I don't think that protoss has only 1 leader. Protoss has conclaive (or conclave, i don't know which one is true), and it's like a parliament which decides everything.
nono, its a CONCAVE!
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Hey, she did a better job than Washington Post at least.
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I was hoping there would be some uninformed discussion involving a brief explanation to a gf how tvz works, and she reasons around why its imbalanced.
I am dissapoint.
Also, your birthday tells me you are twentyish.
Is your girlfriend that bad at writing? Or is she much younger than you O.o.
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EDIT: Now that I read it again, it's kinda funny >.<
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This is my mental image of Zelerot
![[image loading]](http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/7082/zelerot.jpg)
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3v3 BGH Hardcore is an example of a bigmap where people play with a lot of other people who play online at the same time as them but in different places.
???????????????
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I voted 5/5 from the title alone.
Then I read the actual blog. Now I want to vote 1/5
Someone else vote 1 for me, the OP does not seem to understand the meaning of "keen" or "analysis".
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![[image loading]](http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/318/blogcx.jpg)
Hell yeah she does
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We need to add a section to the poney express, the "WTF post of the week".
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![[image loading]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UJTKxrzdoHA/TBjvU1mJN_I/AAAAAAAAD5I/Q3AlIlmbp5M/s1600/PicardWtf.jpg)
Sums it up.
User was warned for this post
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I thought this was just a satire about girls, their lack of knowledge of SC2, and their apparent lack of intelligence. If it's serious then wtf.
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On August 18 2010 19:38 TheAntZ wrote:Hell yeah she does
Only slightly funny thing in this thread :/ OP is just too unbelievable.
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On August 18 2010 19:38 TheAntZ wrote:Hell yeah she does
lol!
Yeah I think I missed the point/joke/whatever of the OP.
Strategy-esque
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I'm race switching to Protoss Jr.
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First I was like what? Then I loled.
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T isn't so bad... Protoss junior is the new imba
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Troll the folks as long as you like but dont pretend to have a girlfriend. You did this didnt you?
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Lol. Zerelot made may day.
If Zerelot was in my position he would take the rest of the day off to play SC2.
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On August 18 2010 21:01 HTX wrote:
Troll the folks as long as you like but dont pretend to have a girlfriend. You did this didnt you?
Yeah...my thoughts.
Can't believe I (speed-)read the whole thing, hoping there would be some funny there.
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Austin10833 Posts
Words: 567
(NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)
Female Score: 495
Male Score: 1051
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
Sorry bro, science doesn't lie.
EDIT: (source: http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.php)
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On August 18 2010 22:11 BroOd wrote:Words: 567 (NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.) Female Score: 495 Male Score: 1051 The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male! Sorry bro, science doesn't lie. EDIT: (source: http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.php)
Exists, older than me, graduated college, pretty fluent in sarcasm and now trollings.
But more importantly...ARE THOSE THE NEW ICONS THEY'RE ROLLING OUT?
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I stopped reading at "this is my thesis statement"
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What's really funny is that almost everyone takes it so serious. Really didn't expect that from TL^^
On August 18 2010 17:14 shindigs wrote:Players can choose between Zerg, Terran, Protoss, and Protoss Jr.
I lol'd :D
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On August 19 2010 03:20 FlopTurnReaver wrote:What's really funny is that almost everyone takes it so serious. Really didn't expect that from TL^^ Show nested quote +On August 18 2010 17:14 shindigs wrote:Players can choose between Zerg, Terran, Protoss, and Protoss Jr. I lol'd :D
Well the fact is, if it IS trolling, its bad trolling because it's not funny whatsoever, even when observed objectively.
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On August 18 2010 22:11 BroOd wrote:Words: 567 (NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.) Female Score: 495 Male Score: 1051 The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male! Sorry bro, science doesn't lie. EDIT: (source: http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.php)
"the" is a masculine word?
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On August 19 2010 03:04 shindigs wrote:
Exists, older than me, graduated college, pretty fluent in sarcasm and now trollings.
hahahahahaha, whenever something backfires it was just "trolling"
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ZvT balance is serious business.
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this was hilarious
there is an art to writing entertainingly bad essays
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Austin10833 Posts
On August 19 2010 03:04 shindigs wrote:Show nested quote +On August 18 2010 22:11 BroOd wrote:Words: 567 (NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.) Female Score: 495 Male Score: 1051 The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male! Sorry bro, science doesn't lie. EDIT: (source: http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.php) Exists, older than me, graduated college, pretty fluent in sarcasm and now trollings. But more importantly...ARE THOSE THE NEW ICONS THEY'RE ROLLING OUT?
All I'm saying is that you might want to find out if she's always been a girl. The Gender Genie is just analyzing the raw data, and it has detected some serious masculinity in that writing. Be careful.
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"...The Terran are the humans who are dressed like Gears of War characters..."
Wait something is not right here...
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On August 19 2010 03:58 Terrakin wrote:Show nested quote +On August 19 2010 03:04 shindigs wrote:
Exists, older than me, graduated college, pretty fluent in sarcasm and now trollings.
hahahahahaha, whenever something backfires it was just "trolling"
"backfires"
yep, the op was sure meant to be a serious discussion on racial balance, but backfired.
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On August 18 2010 22:11 BroOd wrote:Words: 567 (NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.) Female Score: 495 Male Score: 1051 The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male! Sorry bro, science doesn't lie. EDIT: (source: http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.php)
Haha, that site tells me my essays are female.
o.O
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So wait wait wait wait wait wait, let me try to get this straight.
Possible female drafts up barely believable "analysis" of starcraft. Little do we know, this is actually an attempt to provoke desired responses. In line with the original intent of the author, a few people respond seemingly unaware that this is indeed fake and flame said author. NOW, going against every single inherent truth about trolling, the author FINDS OFFENSE in the responses (wait, I thought they were desired), and once again going against all rules, posts a blog trying to regain the upper-hand THE VERY NEXT DAY, to assure us of how good said author is at provoking desired responses and make it clear that this was indeed a magnificent troll. We see that the author is very pleased during all of this.
Let me just quote some of this that I found particularly funny:
"So if “trolling” is defined as “someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response” (thanks Wikipedia!), I think that I’m pretty good at it."
"This is my reply to everyone on that thread (well, not the good sports or the people with a sense of humor or the people without the sticks up their asses)"*
*(followed by a picture of said genius author holding a message that reads, "I can't believe you that you thought this was a real essay :D"
Another very classic example of the anon who is self-convincing of false talents..
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On August 19 2010 03:32 Comeh wrote:Show nested quote +On August 19 2010 03:20 FlopTurnReaver wrote:What's really funny is that almost everyone takes it so serious. Really didn't expect that from TL^^ On August 18 2010 17:14 shindigs wrote:Players can choose between Zerg, Terran, Protoss, and Protoss Jr. I lol'd :D Well the fact is, if it IS trolling, its bad trolling because it's not funny whatsoever, even when observed objectively.
I find it funny partially
On August 18 2010 17:14 shindigs wrote:
The biggest problem that players in BGH Hardcore run into is trying to sneak around their enemies by using their invisible units in order to get to the other side to capture the flag.
:D
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Someone decided to quote me :D Super cool, I don't think this has ever happened to me before.
On August 19 2010 06:45 Romance_us wrote:So wait wait wait wait wait wait, let me try to get this straight. Possible female drafts up barely believable "analysis" of starcraft. Little do we know, this is actually an attempt to provoke desired responses. In line with the original intent of the author, a few people respond seemingly unaware that this is indeed fake and flame said author. NOW, going against every single inherent truth about trolling, the author FINDS OFFENSE in the responses (wait, I thought they were desired), and once again going against all rules, posts a blog trying to regain the upper-hand THE VERY NEXT DAY, to assure us of how good said author is at provoking undesired responses and make it clear that this was indeed a magnificent troll. We see that the author is very pleased during all of this. Let me just quote some of this that I found particularly funny: "So if “trolling” is defined as “someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response” (thanks Wikipedia!), I think that I’m pretty good at it." "This is my reply to everyone on that thread (well, not the good sports or the people with a sense of humor or the people without the sticks up their asses)"* *(followed by a picture of said genius author holding a message that reads, "I can't believe you that you thought this was a real essay :D" Another very classic example of the anon who is self-convincing of false talents..
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That was... both genius and disturbing?
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On August 18 2010 18:00 seRapH wrote:pretty, nice, or smart. pick 2
God dammit isn't that the truth...
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On August 19 2010 06:45 Romance_us wrote:So wait wait wait wait wait wait, let me try to get this straight. Possible female drafts up barely believable "analysis" of starcraft. Little do we know, this is actually an attempt to provoke desired responses. In line with the original intent of the author, a few people respond seemingly unaware that this is indeed fake and flame said author. NOW, going against every single inherent truth about trolling, the author FINDS OFFENSE in the responses (wait, I thought they were desired), and once again going against all rules, posts a blog trying to regain the upper-hand THE VERY NEXT DAY, to assure us of how good said author is at provoking undesired responses and make it clear that this was indeed a magnificent troll. We see that the author is very pleased during all of this. Let me just quote some of this that I found particularly funny: "So if “trolling” is defined as “someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response” (thanks Wikipedia!), I think that I’m pretty good at it." "This is my reply to everyone on that thread (well, not the good sports or the people with a sense of humor or the people without the sticks up their asses)"* *(followed by a picture of said genius author holding a message that reads, "I can't believe you that you thought this was a real essay :D" Another very classic example of the anon who is self-convincing of false talents..
you got me Seychelles detective
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On August 19 2010 09:12 brain_ wrote:God dammit isn't that the truth...
You forgot R1CH in that equation. It's
Choose 2 of 4:
Pretty
Nice
Smart
Rich
You're lucky if you can even get 2.5.
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Nobody looks good in this blog.
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Well! What can I say? Bad trolling should be a crime..
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Zelerot? =/
Why do I think you are trolling? -.- It was a bad attempt. But I will give you a 5/5 because I laughed a lot at this blog.
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EPT
