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On August 06 2010 02:46 kb.RepulsE wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2010 16:43 Loser777 wrote:
Fellow asianman reporting in. The thing that I've noticed with girls is that they tend to date people of their own types, so to speak. The ones that are not overachievers will date laid back guys. The ones that are overachievers will date overachieving guys. Rarely does some kind of a mixture successfully happen. In this case, you should make it known that you are an overachiever (I hope that's a 3.97 UNWEIGHTED GPA you're talking about there...)
Don't be afraid to be flat out rejected if you make a move... much too often I see guys like us get stuck in the limbo friend zone. Ask her out to some kind of social event... Homecoming, WF... otherwise you'll just be unsure of where things are going all the time. That being said, make sure you know what you want before you make your move. If you don't want to be more than friends, don't make any risky moves that could make things awkward between you two. Haha your username is so perfect. Anyways. She's a year older than me, so what if she's the type of girl who is like, no sorry I don't go on dates with younger guys.
Is she Japanese-American or fob? I've met a few korean girls who wouldn't date younger guys (mostly fobs but one korean american) but never a japanese american girl.
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Dating an older girl in high school is tough man, but I'd rather live without regrets than be afraid. That's just me though, I'm the type that would rather go for it than not -- at least I don't have to wonder "what if" and maybe I can even learn from my mistakes.
For example, I asked out a really pretty girl in a band I was playing in ... that was bad, 'cuz it was so awkward for years. But I still have no regrets, because she was worth it, and I don't have to second-guess myself whether I'm ever settling for less when I ask another girl out.
Best of luck to you man, and if it ends horribly, at least you'll have awesomely awkward stories to tell your friends =P
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On August 06 2010 00:49 ieatkids5 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2010 00:24 Chill wrote:
Off-topic: Is Asian self-esteem typically this low? I see so many posts here "I am *negative trait* because I'm Asian." Like why do you even need to mention you are Asian in this post? Maybe it's relevant to your strategy but it seems like you are both Americans. Like I know being white is pretty amazing but it's not like one is better than the other or something.
I've never experienced Loser777's overachiever advice, but I'm white so maybe that's a factor. For some reason, many Asian American guys seem less confident, more shy, and to have lower self-esteem. It's a trait shaped into them as they grow up - through all of elementary, middle, high school. They start off a bit shyer than the white kids because they're different -> less friends -> less social life etc etc. It also doesn't help that there is a prevailing stereotype among many Americans that Asian guys aren't social (vicious cycle here), have a weird/different culture, are not sexual, just stay home on their computer all day, etc. Even if many people deny this stereotype, it's in the back of their mind, and people can't be helped to think differently because it's ingrained. And then a lot of white girls don't wanna go out with a weird/different/asexual/weaker guy -> Asian guys don't have a lot of experience with girls. It's just how they grow up and the society they're in. They can overcome these barriers though, like a lot of people. Still not the majority though  I'm Chinese American, and I thought it took a lot of 'work' and pushing myself to stop being the shy awkward kid who sits by himself. Most of it was forcing myself to be confident and to go talk to everyone (while seeming confident and friendly). Eventually, I started doing it naturally, and it makes social life a lot easier and fun.
This is true, but for those that don't think they're a victim of the society i believe we excel just as well if not even better. Because that's just so rare. Sorta similar why eminem was really successful not only he was a good rapper but he managed to get by and be successful even though he wasn't black, in a game that was mainly african american dominated. You can't say his color was not a reason of his success because it definitly was. He was able to get people's attention like "wow who is this white dude that can rap? i'm interested"...
i'm going off a tangent, but u get the point.
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Classic hit it and quit it scenario.
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On August 06 2010 00:49 ieatkids5 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2010 00:24 Chill wrote:
Off-topic: Is Asian self-esteem typically this low? I see so many posts here "I am *negative trait* because I'm Asian." Like why do you even need to mention you are Asian in this post? Maybe it's relevant to your strategy but it seems like you are both Americans. Like I know being white is pretty amazing but it's not like one is better than the other or something.
I've never experienced Loser777's overachiever advice, but I'm white so maybe that's a factor. For some reason, many Asian American guys seem less confident, more shy, and to have lower self-esteem. It's a trait shaped into them as they grow up - through all of elementary, middle, high school. They start off a bit shyer than the white kids because they're different -> less friends -> less social life etc etc. It also doesn't help that there is a prevailing stereotype among many Americans that Asian guys aren't social (vicious cycle here), have a weird/different culture, are not sexual, just stay home on their computer all day, etc. Even if many people deny this stereotype, it's in the back of their mind, and people can't be helped to think differently because it's ingrained. And then a lot of white girls don't wanna go out with a weird/different/asexual/weaker guy -> Asian guys don't have a lot of experience with girls. It's just how they grow up and the society they're in. They can overcome these barriers though, like a lot of people. Still not the majority though I'm Chinese American, and I thought it took a lot of 'work' and pushing myself to stop being the shy awkward kid who sits by himself. Most of it was forcing myself to be confident and to go talk to everyone (while seeming confident and friendly). Eventually, I started doing it naturally, and it makes social life a lot easier and fun.
IMO, it's because a large majority of asian parents like to yell at their kids and tell them how much shame the 3.99 GPA brings on the family. That, and a nice beating every now and then seals the deal.
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On August 06 2010 03:21 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2010 00:49 ieatkids5 wrote:On August 06 2010 00:24 Chill wrote:
Off-topic: Is Asian self-esteem typically this low? I see so many posts here "I am *negative trait* because I'm Asian." Like why do you even need to mention you are Asian in this post? Maybe it's relevant to your strategy but it seems like you are both Americans. Like I know being white is pretty amazing but it's not like one is better than the other or something.
I've never experienced Loser777's overachiever advice, but I'm white so maybe that's a factor. For some reason, many Asian American guys seem less confident, more shy, and to have lower self-esteem. It's a trait shaped into them as they grow up - through all of elementary, middle, high school. They start off a bit shyer than the white kids because they're different -> less friends -> less social life etc etc. It also doesn't help that there is a prevailing stereotype among many Americans that Asian guys aren't social (vicious cycle here), have a weird/different culture, are not sexual, just stay home on their computer all day, etc. Even if many people deny this stereotype, it's in the back of their mind, and people can't be helped to think differently because it's ingrained. And then a lot of white girls don't wanna go out with a weird/different/asexual/weaker guy -> Asian guys don't have a lot of experience with girls. It's just how they grow up and the society they're in. They can overcome these barriers though, like a lot of people. Still not the majority though I'm Chinese American, and I thought it took a lot of 'work' and pushing myself to stop being the shy awkward kid who sits by himself. Most of it was forcing myself to be confident and to go talk to everyone (while seeming confident and friendly). Eventually, I started doing it naturally, and it makes social life a lot easier and fun. This is true, but for those that don't think they're a victim of the society i believe we excel just as well if not even better. Because that's just so rare. Sorta similar why eminem was really successful not only he was a good rapper but he managed to get by and be successful even though he wasn't black, in a game that was mainly african american dominated. You can't say his color was not a reason of his success because it definitly was. He was able to get people's attention like "wow who is this white dude that can rap? i'm interested"... i'm going off a tangent, but u get the point.
Oohh that's a good point that I missed.
OP - like everyone else said, ask her out. Now.
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Man, I don't know what it's like in the rest of America, but where I live (New Jersey) Asians do fine and are not "shyer" or "less socially adept" than the rest of us. Maybe I cannot understand because I'm white, but I've never found race to be particularly relevant in any of my social interactions.
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Easy, write an anonymous "I love you" and put it on her desk before class. When she picks it up, she who she looks at. If she looks at you, than either she loves you or thinks you love her.
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On August 06 2010 00:24 Chill wrote:
Off-topic: Is Asian self-esteem typically this low? I see so many posts here "I am *negative trait* because I'm Asian." Like why do you even need to mention you are Asian in this post? Maybe it's relevant to your strategy but it seems like you are both Americans. Like I know being white is pretty amazing but it's not like one is better than the other or something.
I've never experienced Loser777's overachiever advice, but I'm white so maybe that's a factor.
Asian culture in particular apparently encourages humbleness. I've been told by guidance counselors and teachers "I know you're asian and you want to belittle yourself as form of respect, but that doesn't get you into college" etc. countless times.
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I fail to see how her being Japanese and you being Chinese is "ironic" by any sense of the word.
And yeah, I think the humbleness is definitely related to the emphasis on hard work that Asian parents have. If you don't stay humble and start thinking, "Hey, I'm awesome at X and I'm Asian" instead of "Hey, I'm bad at X because I'm Asian" (yeah, working the Asian part into it is kind of tenuous, but stick with me here) then you stop working as hard because of how good you already are at it, and then other people catch up and surpass you and then you actually suck at X. So even if you're good at something, it's still better to drop the hubris and keep on working hard.
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I'm Asian, my ex-gf in high school was white, a year and a half older than me, and we did fine. If i can do it, you can do it. Just ask her out.
+ Show Spoiler +I'm really not lying, for 3 months a year she was 2 years older than me. And she really was white.
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ask her if she likes you?
ask her if shes looking for a bf?
there are plenty of easy ways to give hints..
if she is half as smart as you say she is, she will know whats up and respond accordingly
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On August 05 2010 14:09 Chairman Ray wrote:
Start throwing eraser bits at her. When she turns around and looks at you, just look away like you are completely innocent. Once she looks away again, continue. Try to get through an entire eraser before she gets irritated and tells you to quit it.
+1
Or some similar, dumb thing. It really does work.
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On August 06 2010 05:39 DTK-m2 wrote:
I fail to see how her being Japanese and you being Chinese is "ironic" by any sense of the word.
And yeah, I think the humbleness is definitely related to the emphasis on hard work that Asian parents have. If you don't stay humble and start thinking, "Hey, I'm awesome at X and I'm Asian" instead of "Hey, I'm bad at X because I'm Asian" (yeah, working the Asian part into it is kind of tenuous, but stick with me here) then you stop working as hard because of how good you already are at it, and then other people catch up and surpass you and then you actually suck at X. So even if you're good at something, it's still better to drop the hubris and keep on working hard.
Yeah, that's the best way. Be confident, know what you're capable of, and improve yourself.
I respond differently depending on who I'm talking to:
While in college meeting new people and I mention that I like to play pingpong (competitively I add in), they always ask if I'm good. I say 'Oh I play once in a while...' in a certain tone and give them a smirk. Body language, how it is said, facial expression, are all important in conveying to them that you actually mean 'yeah I'm pretty damn good'. Or I just tell them that straight up if they seem like someone who enjoys that kind of talk.
Talking with fobby nice Chinese/Korean guys: I'll tell them that I do like to play a lot, and I'm ok. Then I tell them my rating and what it means (impresses them when you talk about playing in tournaments to get a rating, but doesn't sound like you're bragging).
Talking to fobby, more popular, confident, socialite Asian guys and any Asian girl: Tell them I'm pretty good and that we should play sometime. Throw in some typical Asian compliments ("the training they have in Asia is a lot more intense than in the US, so you could probably give me a few tips when we play")
On August 06 2010 06:13 guN-viCe wrote:
ask her if she likes you?
ask her if shes looking for a bf?
there are plenty of easy ways to give hints..
if she is half as smart as you say she is, she will know whats up and respond accordingly
wat
Terrible way to ask someone out. You need to be forward and confident.
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On August 06 2010 00:24 Chill wrote:
Off-topic: Is Asian self-esteem typically this low? I see so many posts here "I am *negative trait* because I'm Asian." Like why do you even need to mention you are Asian in this post? Maybe it's relevant to your strategy but it seems like you are both Americans. Like I know being white is pretty amazing but it's not like one is better than the other or something.
I've never experienced Loser777's overachiever advice, but I'm white so maybe that's a factor.
yea I believe it's typically that low.
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On August 06 2010 05:39 DTK-m2 wrote:
I fail to see how her being Japanese and you being Chinese is "ironic" by any sense of the word.
And yeah, I think the humbleness is definitely related to the emphasis on hard work that Asian parents have. If you don't stay humble and start thinking, "Hey, I'm awesome at X and I'm Asian" instead of "Hey, I'm bad at X because I'm Asian" (yeah, working the Asian part into it is kind of tenuous, but stick with me here) then you stop working as hard because of how good you already are at it, and then other people catch up and surpass you and then you actually suck at X. So even if you're good at something, it's still better to drop the hubris and keep on working hard.
World War 2. Lol. But she's like a 4th generation Japanese-American. Her parents can't even speak the language.
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On August 06 2010 05:39 DTK-m2 wrote:
I fail to see how her being Japanese and you being Chinese is "ironic" by any sense of the word.
And yeah, I think the humbleness is definitely related to the emphasis on hard work that Asian parents have. If you don't stay humble and start thinking, "Hey, I'm awesome at X and I'm Asian" instead of "Hey, I'm bad at X because I'm Asian" (yeah, working the Asian part into it is kind of tenuous, but stick with me here) then you stop working as hard because of how good you already are at it, and then other people catch up and surpass you and then you actually suck at X. So even if you're good at something, it's still better to drop the hubris and keep on working hard.
Rape of Nanjing much?
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Dude, just fucking ask her out already, it's not a big deal.
If she says yes, you win.
If she says no, live moves on, you are only in High School.
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United States22883 Posts
On August 06 2010 05:39 DTK-m2 wrote:
I fail to see how her being Japanese and you being Chinese is "ironic" by any sense of the word.
70 years ago she would've been trying to rape him, but now the tides have turned.
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Sigh, help the poor guy out. Im a junior too haha!
But seriously, just ask her out on a date, straight up. Theres nothing better than that. If a dance or something is coming up, you can ask her to that.
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EPT
