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The reality is harsh. It's way worse than what we believe it is. If you aren't stoned or drunk, if you have absolutely nothing to do tonight - welcome to my world. The empty world of despair.
The scary part about all this is that the emptiness I've just started to feel has always been there. I never payed enough attention to it and even when I did - something always came along, be it endless hours of starcraft, mood altering substances or a noisy company. Only now I realize that the way I live my life is self-destructive; it's actually mind boggling how I've managed this far. It could be cool trying to imagine that deconstructing your very existence is advantageous in the long run, yet it's only a wet dream inspired by Fight Club (I hate how overhyped this piece of shit movie is).
While you go to school, socialize, party and study in between you don't even notice the void. But it's there, waiting for you to look around. You might get a hint on occasion, or you rather notice that it exists, but you never let yourself slip into it. Not until it's too late.
Fuck, plan out your existence, it might just be the only solution. Find a hobby, make friends and go for a long-time relationship. We are nothing but what surrounds us. Feel free to shit on this statement while I pour myself some liquor.
 
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MY MAN!!!
The day unfolds exactly how you want it. This is the scariest, and most liberating idea. The day will meet you half way for your desires, but you honest to god have to meet it half way too. It's kind of like a grandma who will support anything you do, no questions asked, non-partisan.
Some good advice when it comes to things you wish you were
act as if
Act as if you were the socialite you want to be, or the hard working person you know you are. I'm not saying fake it 'til you make it. Still, be who you are , but integrate yourself into anything you want to become.
Starcraft analogy : In winners interviews we always see players saying things like "I hope I can show off my TvZ sometime so people know my skill " . You need to have that sort of attitude. I'm sure all your gamer buddies think you are great, and respect your knowledge, but don't be a one trick pony. The world will support you in all things you do, and allow and facilitate them. If you want to get drunk, go for it. The world is your drinking buddy. If you want to go to a park and clear your head and face yourself for a while, go for it. You will wake up feeling refreshed and reinvigorated.
It's all in you head. Don't wait until tomorrow to start doing things differently. Would a person with lots of friends stay inside all night? No. Nothing happens in your house.
Nothing happens in your house.
It's like the lions cave. After a kill has been made or the days work done, you come back to the cave to rest or relax or what have you, but the real progress is done in the jungle, so to speak. Go to a coffee shop/book store/ anything outside of games you have an interest in and set a really small goal. If it's a social, talk to a stranger (store clerk or customer ) about the interests and learn why their favorite band / book / whatever is their favorite.
Just by making that simple effort a few times and being out in the world, you won't believe what sort of chain events you can get into. Just be open to things, and trust your gut, or sometimes deliberately go against it.
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Life isn't that complicated, nor is it particularly important in the scheme of things. The sooner you learn that, the better! People aren't the center of the universe. We're little dots. Just have fun, help other little dot people, and you'll be just fine. I think many people fret too much about what they could or should be doing. I have nothing to do tonight, so I'm eating some good food, playing a good game, and then watching the Proleague playoffs.
Also, Fight Club is good :D
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On July 25 2010 11:22 NukeTheStars wrote:
help other little dot people, and you'll be just fine.
AWWWW<3
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I think the best thing to do (assuming your around the general age of 16-24 here) instead of hating things by default, just shamelessly enjoy / like things. Forget what you thought you knew and just ride some new waves.
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ella_guru, you are seriously one of my favorite posters and you do it so effortless. I like your advice man, but do you do it yourself? I mean, talking to store clerks? I have friends, they are all shells. Whatever I could extract I did, it seems like I just keep being nice to them because of the past. I try to fill my life with whatever I can, I go to concerts (watch out Summer Slaughterfest), I talk to girls, I drink almost daily. What bothers me is that it's all artificial! It's like I measly entertain myself.
NukeTheStars, I wish I could share this view, long ago I thought that being a fisherman out in the sea sailing your own boat living on the edge was just as good as anything else, now it just seems like the same routine to me even though I've never tried it. I don't want to settle for less and the dots that you speak of are always in my head man. Sometimes it's a relief to think this way but on the other hand - why be a dot when u can be so much more. I guess I haven't given up yet.
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Listening to your music as we do this so we're buds.
From my own experience , and I haven't lived through tons of life but I'll share with you my view from the tree branch, so to speak. Stick with me because this is going to get tough, because I'm not an overly eloquent speaker. (this song is great haha!)
We're here.
Here we are! Go to sleep, wake up, still here.
Ok, so you've chosen not to off yourself, me too. So what to do with this rapid succession of days? Work a job for a better future? Drugs sex and rock and roll with a "The moment is now" kind of attitude?
To me, it doesn't matter what you do. But I will say the people in life who I ever felt connected to or respected had not hobbies or interests in common with me, but more of a methodology - they attacked everything that they *chose* to do in life with their full conviction. I don't hang out with people who do things half way, or use words like "maybe" or "perhaps I could think about starting". Conviction and strength of will. When we choose to do something, we should approach it with a swiftness and sureness that we could bet our lives that while we may not see the task through to the ends we envisioned, we will commit ourselves until the end is reached .
Do you serve out life like a prison sentence and pay your time? Unfortunately to me, it seems like many people do. Let the time serve you .
If you are going to go through the trouble of staying alive everyday, might as well make use of it. Somedays you might think "Aaaagh I just don't have it in me to go out and engage the world like I'd like to" . Then just guiltlessly take a day to yourself at home, maybe enjoy drinks or just veggin or whatever sort of alone time you like. Guiltlessly and full of conviction, even in our lazy activities.
Who we are is told to us by how we approach things and not the things we approach, largely.
Make yourself better today than you were yesterday. Chisel out your sense of self, your sense of style.
Why I bothered responding is that you said "why be a dot when we could be so much more" . I don't know what but there is a lot to you in that sentence. You could meditate on that for a time for me...
Bounce your ideas back, I don't build walls of text around you.
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Damn, you're more eloquent than I will ever be. Sick insight too. I like this line - "make yourself better today than you were yesterday". Fuck, I will keep this in mind. I love to cling to ideas like that because they give me motivation, I can't find motivation anywhere else.
Indeed, there's a lot to me in "we could be so much more", I used to think I was special yet years went by and I am still a piece of shit in the middle of nowhere. It gets tough when you are older (26 now).
I just went out and drank some, I feel normal, I also know that if I didn't drink tonight I'd feel exactly the way I did while posting this. Fucking dots, they constantly need fuel to connect.
I'm going to abuse your advice and build on it. Just because I need to build on something, you know?
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Someone wise once said that the purpose of life is to live life with purpose. I believe that.
Find something worthwhile to work towards, something really long-term. But once you attain it you'll realize that void disappeared a long time ago.
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On July 25 2010 13:57 News wrote:
Damn, you're more eloquent than I will ever be. Sick insight too. I like this line - "make yourself better today than you were yesterday". Fuck, I will keep this in mind. I love to cling to ideas like that because they give me motivation, I can't find motivation anywhere else.
Indeed, there's a lot to me in "we could be so much more", I used to think I was special yet years went by and I am still a piece of shit in the middle of nowhere. It gets tough when you are older (26 now).
I just went out and drank some, I feel normal, I also know that if I didn't drink tonight I'd feel exactly the way I did while posting this. Fucking dots, they constantly need fuel to connect.
I'm going to abuse your advice and build on it. Just because I need to build on something, you know?
Haha I love it . The cool thing about these sort of things... I mean, it's a bit of a tapestry. My views and actions are shaped by the ideas of great men and women of our time and times before. But, we don't need to take everything they say, just the one nugget you know? Take that one thread, and weave it into yourself, mix it with other ones, and most importantly, gather the threads from your own day to day life . I think experience is the best teacher, and often the only way to learn most things. I mean, many of us here know what it means to be heartbroken, but only because in our own days we've been there in our own ways.
I can tell that you won't hinge everything on one idea (especially one that isn't infused with their own). I think lots of people do this and then it gives them a lot to be afraid of and lots of insecurities and panic because they don't have a true sense of self. Take from everything. I know you will. Today I think you would go to a park and sit and think about some specific thing, and not let your mind wander too much. When you hear the words in your brain talking after a time, try and shut them off until you have silence up there....
This topic was good because it was definitely not the wadded up ego ball lots of these types of discussions can be. My way is no better than your way, just perhaps at this point just a tad further along. But take what you can and move along.
Hah.
Better today than yesterday.
There it is
Glad to share some threads man, hahaha
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
hmm this blog and the comments in it have helped me too.. need a bit of motivation and a well written reminder of how to live more happily sometimes..
thanks
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It's all in your mindset. Everything is perfectly fine as far as I am concerned. I am totally sober and I really don't do much at all. I spend most of my day doing menial work (cleaning, chopping wood), reading things on forums, playing games, walking meditiation, or yoga/working out. I enjoy it all.
It's just your mindset man. It's easy to enjoy most any time if you can drop your desire for things to be different.
I'm perfectly happy within this "void" that you speak of. Why aren't you?
That's what you need to address.
There's nothing inherently negative about this "void", but there's plenty that is positive about it if you realize it.
edit to add some stuff in:
what you have recognized is characteristic of most people. they are uncomfortable with this "void" as you speak so they lead lives of constant distraction. most people aren't comfortable with just theirselves and silence. just a sad fact.
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Not to get semantic, but a void is the lack of things. If you fill your life with things, there won't be huge gaping voids. The catch is, it's possible to fill it with "meaningless" things that have no weight to you, and you can still feel empty even if you are very busy, have a career, family etc.
That's where destruction comes in.  You'd be surprised how much stuff that we feel obligated to do, feel is the right or normal thing to do and get all stressed is ultimately useless and unfulfilling. Strip all the crap and distractions, seriously think about what you want. And by that, I mean real tangible actions, not just fleeting thoughts and sentiments that will evaporate when your mood changes.
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One quick thing.
It's far more important to DO things than to think about doing things. We get the same satisfaction and sort of can create a fantasy if we think about or talk about how to do things a lot, sometimes if we talk about living life a certain way often enough, we think we are actually doing that.
Iron chef : I think he understood "void" . A feeling of emptiness. NBD
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On July 26 2010 01:52 travis wrote:
It's all in your mindset. Everything is perfectly fine as far as I am concerned. I am totally sober and I really don't do much at all. I spend most of my day doing menial work (cleaning, chopping wood), reading things on forums, playing games, walking meditiation, or yoga/working out. I enjoy it all.
It's just your mindset man. It's easy to enjoy most any time if you can drop your desire for things to be different.
I'm perfectly happy within this "void" that you speak of. Why aren't you?
That's what you need to address.
There's nothing inherently negative about this "void", but there's plenty that is positive about it if you realize it.
edit to add some stuff in:
what you have recognized is characteristic of most people. they are uncomfortable with this "void" as you speak so they lead lives of constant distraction. most people aren't comfortable with just theirselves and silence. just a sad fact.
How do you manage like that, you must really believe in this kind of a lifestyle to give it a run. What about satisfying your actual needs, let's say you have a place to live, you still need food and money to pay for your internet and whatnot. Do you work or just live with your parents? Eventually you will have to get out of that environment to better your existence, unless you are happy with everything. Then again, what about dating, traveling, whatever else you fancy? What you are suggesting is being content with whatever you currently have, living a simple, self-centered life, basically what one can do in any monastery.
On July 26 2010 02:51 ironchef wrote:Not to get semantic, but a void is the lack of things. If you fill your life with things, there won't be huge gaping voids. The catch is, it's possible to fill it with "meaningless" things that have no weight to you, and you can still feel empty even if you are very busy, have a career, family etc. That's where destruction comes in. You'd be surprised how much stuff that we feel obligated to do, feel is the right or normal thing to do and get all stressed is ultimately useless and unfulfilling. Strip all the crap and distractions, seriously think about what you want. And by that, I mean real tangible actions, not just fleeting thoughts and sentiments that will evaporate when your mood changes.
I don't cling to the stuff that I normally do, I have a problem with finding the stuff that seems important to me. I feel like I'm rotting away as the time goes by no matter what I do currently. Maybe achieving the little goals is all I really need for now.
Logically the next step would be family? What else do we do after school->uni->job->? I am so far from ready for that.
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On July 26 2010 10:32 News wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2010 01:52 travis wrote:
It's all in your mindset. Everything is perfectly fine as far as I am concerned. I am totally sober and I really don't do much at all. I spend most of my day doing menial work (cleaning, chopping wood), reading things on forums, playing games, walking meditiation, or yoga/working out. I enjoy it all.
It's just your mindset man. It's easy to enjoy most any time if you can drop your desire for things to be different.
I'm perfectly happy within this "void" that you speak of. Why aren't you?
That's what you need to address.
There's nothing inherently negative about this "void", but there's plenty that is positive about it if you realize it.
edit to add some stuff in:
what you have recognized is characteristic of most people. they are uncomfortable with this "void" as you speak so they lead lives of constant distraction. most people aren't comfortable with just theirselves and silence. just a sad fact. How do you manage like that, you must really believe in this kind of a lifestyle to give it a run. What about satisfying your actual needs, let's say you have a place to live, you still need food and money to pay for your internet and whatnot. Do you work or just live with your parents? Eventually you will have to get out of that environment to better your existence, unless you are happy with everything. Then again, what about dating, traveling, whatever else you fancy? What you are suggesting is being content with whatever you currently have, living a simple, self-centered life, basically what one can do in any monastery.
I don't have a job, but I do some work for my parents(im waiting to join the air force). My needs are little but my parents pay for them (food, electricity). I do what work there is for me to do in turn.
I don't care about dating or traveling. If those things arise in my life then they will happen but I rarely experience any particular desire for them.
I am not necessarily advocating asceticism though there are certainly benefits to it.
I am just advocating a change in mindset and getting in touch and comfortable with one's self.
If one can't be happy sitting quietly by theirself well then that is certainly a bad sign isn't it?
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Ella why is it that every single one of your 1200 posts has made me cry? E is for Ella is for Ellagant.
Anyway op, this whole depression things is kind of a logichole right? I mean this ever-pressing void of terrible gloom and angst doesn't actually exist. After all a void is an absence of existence amiright?
Thats how I roll. When I start to get sad I logic it away. Fill your life with people you love and things you love to do and the only logical response will be to be happy.
Edit: The people you love and things you love to do can be one and the same amiright amiright?
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EPT
