On May 26 2010 09:56 Amnesia wrote:
My mom said "no" because they were already eating but my dad threw a fit and apparently threw the chopstick.

i couldn't resist laughing at that part haha

anyways good luck with this. i have doubts that you (let alone any teenager) will actually carry this out but hey, if it makes you feel better in the short run then go for it

zZygote

Canada898 Posts

May 26 2010 06:43 GMT

#47

Wow, pretty tough situation you got there at home.

All I can say is uhh, work hard, and don't forget why your working hard, its all for your mom. Make her proud!

GrayArea

United States872 Posts

May 26 2010 06:45 GMT

#48

Great blog, great intentions, great dream. But don't feel restricted by limiting to helping your mom ONLY in this way. I'm sure there are many things you can do to make her feel better NOW, to make her feel better HERE, and until you can take her to Korea. Just spending time with your mom, maybe asking your mom to help teach you how to learn to play, things like that can make her feel better as well.

Maybe its the pressure built up that makes her feel like Korea is her only outlet, but try and find temporary solutions that you can do until then. You said you only recently starting feeling like this toward your mother. Perhaps your lack of caring beforehand, coupled with your dad's stinginess, has led her to feel like Korea is her only outlet. Try and show that you care for her and fill that void. Overall though, I'm glad you are learning filial piety and I think it's something we should all strive more to do as well.

nath

United States1788 Posts

May 26 2010 08:25 GMT

#49

On May 26 2010 11:41 Sadist wrote:

heres what I always wonder about. I have tons of asian friends but they arent QUITE as subservient as korean culture appears to be from the outside, but they are subservient none the less (especially the girls)

I just wonder what would happen if one day they dont take it anymore. Would they be beaten? So they beat you to prove their point......fuck them they arent worth your time anyway. Do they shun you? Again......just dont talk to them anymore. Maybe im a bit cold but IMO some people have shitty families and the fear they put into you is what keeps you submissive. IMO it would be better to be alone then to be around a bunch of pig headed assholes.

You have no idea how hard that is though, to be shunned and to have your entire extended family disown you. It happened to me for about 2 years because I 'didn't take it anymore'...eventually before I went fucking insane I just fell back in line.

flamewheel

FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts

June 02 2010 23:43 GMT

#50

I missed the blog when it came out, but I, like many others, just want to tell you that what you are doing is a very kind thing. I wish more people cared for your parents like you care for your mother. The best of luck to you, I hope she can get what she wishes for.

Lexpar

1813 Posts

June 03 2010 00:05 GMT

#51

I thought I already made all your mom's dream's come true last Saturday night?

:p Just kidding of course. Honestly that's a very sweet thing that you are doing for her. You're dad is playing out a really nasty stereotype that he should be ashamed of. I hope you can confront him about it sometime in the future, but if not at least letting your mom know that YOU appreciate her will be worth more than words can say. Good luck

Flaccid

8850 Posts

June 03 2010 00:31 GMT

#52

TOSS THOSE CHOPSTICKS

You should give your dad the money so that he can buy more chopsticks and pursue his dream of being a professional chopstick tosser. He was once young, with dreams and ambition - but that was soon tempered by the emergence of an unsupportive family that makes a big deal about it when he practices at the dinner table.

wanderer

United States641 Posts

June 03 2010 00:34 GMT

#53

On May 26 2010 13:08 krndandaman wrote:

Show nested quote +

This is probably how the dad feels too.
Think of it in the dad's perspective.

"Fuck, I'm working for the whole family, and I can't even complain about food? I don't ask for anything else but for some good food when I want it. I'm bringing the money into this house so can't I ask for that? Sigh my wife wants to go to Korea for ORGAN LESSONS!? WHY CANT SHE TAKE THEM HERE!? I'm gonna have to take care of the kids and do all the household chores... not to mention that a trip to korea is fucking expensive these days... Geez, I wish my family would just understand that I'm stressed when I get home due to work. All I want to do is sit down, relax, and get the food I want. Is that too much to ask!?"

Sure your dad isn't even close to being the perfect parent, but I think everyone fails to see the situation from his perspective.
Do what you want, but don't go hating on your dad. Your mom certainly doesn't blame your father, she should know what he goes through.

This is kinda like the situation with my parents back in the day. However my mom wasn't a stay-home mom and made more money than my dad actually. It really annoyed her and it nearly led to a divorce. I understand your anger in this aspect. I really disliked my dad. After some healing of relations and working it out together, we're pretty happy now and my mom and dad haven't fought in a long while.

Your post reminds me of something

+ Show Spoiler +

MetalMarine

United States1559 Posts

June 03 2010 01:48 GMT

#54

On May 26 2010 11:15 Too_MuchZerg wrote:
Spending money/time to your parent(s) is not right move yet. When your parents are over 65 or so then its okay to spend more time (or money) with them. If you do this without your dad knowing it, this thing sparks up attention and might resolve some heated arguments (hidden affair thoughts and such). Better thing is to use your money to yourself or save it. Then use it later on something else you like.

You guys should have really read this post, he is actually correct. As much as I can understand you for doing what you want to do.. IT WILL cause a lot of drama once your dad finds out. Lets say you do send her to Korea and have her do her thing.. What if she comes back and your dad is extremely pissed and leaves her.. how will she take care of herself then? If you can do it, then go through with your plan.. if not, you better think twice. There are other options to get your mom to where she wants to go but hiding it from your dad is probably not a good idea.

EDIT: just think of the consequences before you do anything =)

d3_crescentia

United States4054 Posts

June 03 2010 02:46 GMT

#55

Everyone's situation is different, but one thing is always for certain - you'll always get a different story from the other parent about what's going on in their marriage. Don't hate on your dad too much - obviously he's no saint, but try to at least consider his perspective a bit more thoroughly.

29 fps

United States5724 Posts

June 03 2010 05:55 GMT

#56

what does your dad do that makes him so stressed? or is he just like that?

Amnesia

United States3818 Posts

July 08 2011 02:54 GMT

#57

SHAMELESS BUMP.

It looks like this is going to be happening soon!

My plan right now is to book a round trip in the winter. Suggestions for the cheap deals?

Elegy

United States1629 Posts

July 08 2011 02:57 GMT

#58

Yay!

For a while I thought maybe you forgot about this blog!

Dunno about travel deals, I cannot afford such frivolities

Amnesia

United States3818 Posts

July 08 2011 02:57 GMT

#59

On July 08 2011 11:57 Elegy wrote:
Yay!

For a while I thought maybe you forgot about this blog!

Dunno about travel deals, I cannot afford such frivolities

What a coincidence, hah.

ShoCkeyy

7815 Posts

July 08 2011 03:37 GMT

#60

On July 08 2011 11:57 Amnesia wrote:

Show nested quote +

What a coincidence, hah.

Tripadvisor.com or just send lilsusie a message and ask her what would be the best flights. I found that KoreaAir was pretty cheap. It was like $1200 for a roundtrip, but usually for some weird reason, one ways cost a bit more -_-;