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Two hours ago, there was a fight at the dinner table. I myself skipped dinner but apparently there was something going around with my mom, dad, and partially my sister. So basically, my dad wanted to have extra food on the table WHILE they were eating so he told my mom to do so. My mom said "no" because they were already eating but my dad threw a fit and apparently threw the chopstick. My sister was like "Hey dad, what's your problem" in a joking manner but my dad took it seriously. This was weird because my sister and my dad joke around A LOT. My dad was like "What is my problem, I have no problems" starts yelling and my mom and sister literally have nothing to say and were extremely pissed.
So now everyone is quiet and doesn't talk to each other. My dad went to the golf range to relieve some stress while my mom stayed home. I asked her what happened and she told me (what I just wrote above, basically). Our dad basically has this extremely terrible habit - whatever he doesn't like eating, he will start to complain. Even if it's one little flaw. "Too salty." "It tastes bad." "Why didn't you add this?" "Too spicy." You get the idea...
Like seriously what the fuck? I've eaten food made by other mom and seriously I can tell you my mom is really good at cooking. But nope, if the food she makes does not meet his expectations, you might as well call it trash. What is even worse is that she makes A LOT of food, just because my dad wants them. This ain't your fucking personal restaurant. He just doesn't know that he lives a pretty damn luxurious life in terms of eating food. My uncle once went on a business trip and came back home to find a note saying from my aunt: "I have a lunch meeting so I got some take out, eat it and I'll see you home!" And he said it was totally fine. Oh man, if it were my dad hell would break loose. To him, he'd have to have a feast in order to be content. Sometimes I feel so bad for my mom because she takes my dad's comments as a joke but I know for a fact she gets irked by them. So fucking childish.
Anyways let's talk a little about my mom. She is just a housewife but she is really hardworking. My mom was once a piano teacher but after coming to USA, pretty much stopped teaching although she does play on a daily basis. Three years ago, she picked up the organ and volunteered for the church. She became even more serious about it and learned how to use the pedals, which apparently is extremely hard. Yup, all self-taught. And I really am proud of what she has done. She makes music for mass sound REALLY nice and her hard work really paid off. When we went to Korea two years ago, she even got taught from a prominent organ professor/teacher and improved her skills tremendously.
Too bad my dad doesn't give a fuck. Why? Well my mom right now is 47 years old. As you get older your body conditions get worse. And what would the most important body part be when playing the Organ? The eyes - without the ability to see you can't play the organ at all. Today she told me that she wants to go to Korea one more time to learn and expand her skills. She tells me she practiced so much (almost everyday except Saturdays) at the church that there is nothing more she can do to improve. I know her love for playing the organ is really passionate and sincere. While telling me this, she also cried which made me pretty sad. I don't know why my dad won't send her to Korea. It's either due to two reasons: a) he is stingy or b) We went to Korea for three months and without my mom his life was a lot harder (cooking, taking care of house), etc and he doesn't want her to leave.
Hell if I were him I would have sent my wife just because it would be worth it in my opinion. My mom tells me that one of her friends really wanted to do art and is as old as her. Her husband let her do it because if she really wanted to, why not? Also since she ages (just like everyone else), she should do it before it's too late.
So I am going to do whatever it takes to get my mom to Korea by next year. I have a part time job lined up for me and I am going to use most of that money for my mom. I want to see her happy but some inconsiderate jerk won't make that happen. Granted, my dad can make my mom happy at times, but she gets so much shit from my dad I sometimes wonder why there was no divorce.
So I will do whatever it takes to make her dream come true because I know she loves the organ and I want to see her happy. :I
 
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nice thing to do for ur mom
jus a question, if ur dad won't let ur mom go cuz of reason (B), whut would be the difference even if u provided the money? wouldn't he still make her stay regardless of whether the financial part was met
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you, sir, are a fucking hero
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I would have slapped the crap out of him. No one throws anything at anyone else in my house.
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My mother lives in a similar situation, in fact your dad's quotes at the dinner table were disturbing for me to read because I feel like I am back home hearing them... she had a bit more outward pride so she would argue back, it was terrible...I'm at uni now and everytime i visit home I see her as a shadow of a person, an empty shell...it kills me inside.
Also not to rat on our cultures but you can't escape the fact that there is some relevance to the fact that the intrinsically chauvinistic cultures of Asia tend to breed such marriages.
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yo how will this go down
maybe your dad might seriously bust a cap when he finds out about this plan
also, he might wonder where you got the cash, maybe accuse you of stealing from him
shits about to get real
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GL
My parents went through something similar back in the day... and just like nath said as well... It's very saddening.
I can definitely relate, and your mom deserves to be doing whatever she wants. GL
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On May 26 2010 10:02 hrmM wrote:
nice thing to do for ur mom
jus a question, if ur dad won't let ur mom go cuz of reason (B), whut would be the difference even if u provided the money? wouldn't he still make her stay regardless of whether the financial part was met
This and for point A the same argument. How are you going to solve that?
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On May 26 2010 10:09 THE_DOMINATOR wrote:
I would have slapped the crap out of him. No one throws anything at anyone else in my house.
Except it was probably the dad's house
Well there is this respecting elders, especially your parents, in Korean culture (and other asian cultures too probably)
I would definitely not be able to speak out against my dad like that, unless the situation really calls for it
It is really sad though 
Hope you can make enough money for this to happen
good luck~
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On May 26 2010 10:16 JSH wrote:Show nested quote +On May 26 2010 10:09 THE_DOMINATOR wrote:
I would have slapped the crap out of him. No one throws anything at anyone else in my house. Except it was probably the dad's house Well there is this respecting elders, especially your parents, in Korean culture (and other asian cultures too probably) I would definitely not be able to speak out against my dad like that, unless the situation really calls for it It is really sad though Hope you can make enough money for this to happen good luck~
this is precisely the reason I am also scared for the OP. When dad finds out about this, as someone said, shits going to get real. HUGE blow to his ego, hes gonna get ragemode...-.-
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I hope all of your dreams come true 
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@Nal_rAwr: He knows I have a job. It's my money, I can do whatever the fuck I want.
The case is probably A because he is pretty cheap when it comes to with money. When my dad finds out I know that nothing will happen. As I said, it's MY fucking money. I do what I want and I made my choice. No one is stopping me lol. And if he does get mad and try to hurt me, what benefit does that do to him? It will only fuck him over.
Speaking of him not spending money my mom isn't the type of person who doesn't spend money either so she is doing him a favor. A lot of Korean moms I know play golf on a daily basis. Or go shopping and buy expensive stuff. Or go out to eat. That's not the case with my mom. She even does the yardwork for the house. Yeah, instead of calling people to mow our lawn and take care of the house, her 100 pound body does most of the work. Do you know how much money is saved...? I feel so bad whenever I find out she mows the lawn and stuff so I do it for her since I am back from school. >_>
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konadora
Singapore66117 Posts
You're such a filial son, I've seen many others who don't really give a shit about their parents.
All the best and good luck in trying to convince your dad to let your mom go though, because it's probably not the monetary issue. The thought of it is really sweet of you though.
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you're a damn good kid man
hope that works out for you. make a bank account just to save for your plan. makes it a lot easier to save when you actually see what you've accumulated. good luck
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This is my first post, post self-requested ban.
You sir, are the fucking man.
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On May 26 2010 10:03 Binky1842 wrote:
you, sir, are a fucking hero
This, again and again.
Good luck, man. Hopefully it was reason A listed above, because as nath said, he might ragemode if it's reason B. I sincerely wish you the best of luck on this one.
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These moments when you really love one of your parents and appreciate them are really great. Sounds like you're really motivated, so good luck!!!
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confront your dad with this, every detail, with your entire family.
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You are a boss. Goodluck!
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nice goal dude
it's a shame about your dad, but you're doing a good thing.
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+ Show Spoiler +I make your mom's dreams come true every night.
Sorry, couldn't resist. OP, i respect you and your mom and i think what you're doing is noble and right.
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On May 26 2010 10:45 HeavOnEarth wrote:
confront your dad with this, every detail, with your entire family.
you are clearly white.
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On May 26 2010 10:30 konadora wrote:
You're such a filial son, I've seen many others who don't really give a shit about their parents.
All the best and good luck in trying to convince your dad to let your mom go though, because it's probably not the monetary issue. The thought of it is really sweet of you though.
Thanks man. lol tbh I really didn't care about my parents until only recently. I started thinking about it for a while and thought I should be a better son. I always stressed them out in the past so ;p.
And then when I saw my mom cry for the first time today that pretty much sealed the deal for me.
Thanks a lot for the support everyone, I will keep you guys updated in the near future. =]
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i feel for you, having your mom cry her heart out and feeling helpless trying to comfort her is a terrible feeling.
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On May 26 2010 10:52 nath wrote:Show nested quote +On May 26 2010 10:45 HeavOnEarth wrote:
confront your dad with this, every detail, with your entire family. you are clearly white.
+1
extended family would probably side with the dad anyway, cos of subservience relations between nuclear families (as long as the dad wasn't a douche in front of the other family members).
This is great of you to do, and I wish you the best of luck
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Spending money/time to your parent(s) is not right move yet. When your parents are over 65 or so then its okay to spend more time (or money) with them. If you do this without your dad knowing it, this thing sparks up attention and might resolve some heated arguments (hidden affair thoughts and such). Better thing is to use your money to yourself or save it. Then use it later on something else you like.
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You're awesome, gl hf, I hope it works out! I would give her my ticket to Korea this summer
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I hope the best for you and your family, your mom especially. It's so nice to see you care for her as much as you do. You're a good son. The world needs more like you.
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Awww......
I'm really touched my this story. It sounds like the bond between you and your mom are really close, and that's something I can totally appreciate.
Good luck with sending her to Korea! I think your dad's just being a dick.
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On May 26 2010 11:04 Navi wrote:Show nested quote +On May 26 2010 10:52 nath wrote:On May 26 2010 10:45 HeavOnEarth wrote:
confront your dad with this, every detail, with your entire family. you are clearly white. +1 extended family would probably side with the dad anyway, cos of subservience relations between nuclear families (as long as the dad wasn't a douche in front of the other family members). This is great of you to do, and I wish you the best of luck
heres what I always wonder about. I have tons of asian friends but they arent QUITE as subservient as korean culture appears to be from the outside, but they are subservient none the less (especially the girls)
I just wonder what would happen if one day they dont take it anymore. Would they be beaten? So they beat you to prove their point......fuck them they arent worth your time anyway. Do they shun you? Again......just dont talk to them anymore. Maybe im a bit cold but IMO some people have shitty families and the fear they put into you is what keeps you submissive. IMO it would be better to be alone then to be around a bunch of pig headed assholes.
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I, and I believe the rest of TL, support you and wish you best of luck
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Your a great person. Damn nice to see that people aren't yelling at their moms, telling them to go to hell etc like they do here.
On May 26 2010 10:47 m3rciless wrote:+ Show Spoiler +I make your mom's dreams come true every night. Sorry, couldn't resist. OP, i respect you and your mom and i think what you're doing is noble and right.
dude wtf.
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You probably need alot of money to put someone up in Korea for three months don't you?
Also, I agree with most people in the thread. While an amazing idea, you're playing with fire. You could get in huge shit from your Dad. It's probably more of a control issue then it is a financial one..
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I think your mom is being pretty ridiculous needing to go to korea to be taught how to play an organ to be honest. If your mom wants to go to take organ lessons in korea why doesn't she get a job. My mom is 56 and works 40+ hours a week as a nurse which is a very difficult job especially at her age.
And are you sure your mom would even take that much money? There is absolutely no way my parents would accept that much money.
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United States11637 Posts
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
<3<3<3
Appreciating all that moms do is instant 5/5
Wish you best of luck ~ glad your mom has a proud son like you to be her backbone<3
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CA10824 Posts
5/5 blog except for this:
On May 26 2010 09:56 Amnesia wrote:
Anyways let's talk a little about my mom. She is just a housewife
being a good housewife is a ton of work
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I wish you luck in your endeavors. However, I have doubts about whether this is successful.
NYC LANs fighting!
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Don't let the naysayers bog you down. Do what YOU feel is the RIGHT thing to do.
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Good luck!!
You are partly man of the house now, you can do it!!
<3
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On May 26 2010 09:56 Amnesia wrote:
My mom said "no" because they were already eating but my dad threw a fit and apparently threw the chopstick.
i couldn't resist laughing at that part haha
anyways good luck with this. i have doubts that you (let alone any teenager) will actually carry this out but hey, if it makes you feel better in the short run then go for it
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Wow, pretty tough situation you got there at home.
All I can say is uhh, work hard, and don't forget why your working hard, its all for your mom. Make her proud!
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Great blog, great intentions, great dream. But don't feel restricted by limiting to helping your mom ONLY in this way. I'm sure there are many things you can do to make her feel better NOW, to make her feel better HERE, and until you can take her to Korea. Just spending time with your mom, maybe asking your mom to help teach you how to learn to play, things like that can make her feel better as well.
Maybe its the pressure built up that makes her feel like Korea is her only outlet, but try and find temporary solutions that you can do until then. You said you only recently starting feeling like this toward your mother. Perhaps your lack of caring beforehand, coupled with your dad's stinginess, has led her to feel like Korea is her only outlet. Try and show that you care for her and fill that void. Overall though, I'm glad you are learning filial piety and I think it's something we should all strive more to do as well.
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On May 26 2010 11:41 Sadist wrote:
heres what I always wonder about. I have tons of asian friends but they arent QUITE as subservient as korean culture appears to be from the outside, but they are subservient none the less (especially the girls)
I just wonder what would happen if one day they dont take it anymore. Would they be beaten? So they beat you to prove their point......fuck them they arent worth your time anyway. Do they shun you? Again......just dont talk to them anymore. Maybe im a bit cold but IMO some people have shitty families and the fear they put into you is what keeps you submissive. IMO it would be better to be alone then to be around a bunch of pig headed assholes.
You have no idea how hard that is though, to be shunned and to have your entire extended family disown you. It happened to me for about 2 years because I 'didn't take it anymore'...eventually before I went fucking insane I just fell back in line.
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
I missed the blog when it came out, but I, like many others, just want to tell you that what you are doing is a very kind thing. I wish more people cared for your parents like you care for your mother. The best of luck to you, I hope she can get what she wishes for.
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I thought I already made all your mom's dream's come true last Saturday night?
:p Just kidding of course. Honestly that's a very sweet thing that you are doing for her. You're dad is playing out a really nasty stereotype that he should be ashamed of. I hope you can confront him about it sometime in the future, but if not at least letting your mom know that YOU appreciate her will be worth more than words can say. Good luck
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TOSS THOSE CHOPSTICKS
You should give your dad the money so that he can buy more chopsticks and pursue his dream of being a professional chopstick tosser. He was once young, with dreams and ambition - but that was soon tempered by the emergence of an unsupportive family that makes a big deal about it when he practices at the dinner table.
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On May 26 2010 13:08 krndandaman wrote:Show nested quote +On May 26 2010 12:32 Bosu wrote:
I think your mom is being pretty ridiculous needing to go to korea to be taught how to play an organ to be honest. If your mom wants to go to take organ lessons in korea why doesn't she get a job. My mom is 56 and works 40+ hours a week as a nurse which is a very difficult job especially at her age.
And are you sure your mom would even take that much money? There is absolutely no way my parents would accept that much money. This is probably how the dad feels too. Think of it in the dad's perspective. "Fuck, I'm working for the whole family, and I can't even complain about food? I don't ask for anything else but for some good food when I want it. I'm bringing the money into this house so can't I ask for that? Sigh my wife wants to go to Korea for ORGAN LESSONS!? WHY CANT SHE TAKE THEM HERE!? I'm gonna have to take care of the kids and do all the household chores... not to mention that a trip to korea is fucking expensive these days... Geez, I wish my family would just understand that I'm stressed when I get home due to work. All I want to do is sit down, relax, and get the food I want. Is that too much to ask!?" Sure your dad isn't even close to being the perfect parent, but I think everyone fails to see the situation from his perspective. Do what you want, but don't go hating on your dad. Your mom certainly doesn't blame your father, she should know what he goes through. This is kinda like the situation with my parents back in the day. However my mom wasn't a stay-home mom and made more money than my dad actually. It really annoyed her and it nearly led to a divorce. I understand your anger in this aspect. I really disliked my dad. After some healing of relations and working it out together, we're pretty happy now and my mom and dad haven't fought in a long while.
Your post reminds me of something
+ Show Spoiler +
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On May 26 2010 11:15 Too_MuchZerg wrote:
Spending money/time to your parent(s) is not right move yet. When your parents are over 65 or so then its okay to spend more time (or money) with them. If you do this without your dad knowing it, this thing sparks up attention and might resolve some heated arguments (hidden affair thoughts and such). Better thing is to use your money to yourself or save it. Then use it later on something else you like.
You guys should have really read this post, he is actually correct. As much as I can understand you for doing what you want to do.. IT WILL cause a lot of drama once your dad finds out. Lets say you do send her to Korea and have her do her thing.. What if she comes back and your dad is extremely pissed and leaves her.. how will she take care of herself then? If you can do it, then go through with your plan.. if not, you better think twice. There are other options to get your mom to where she wants to go but hiding it from your dad is probably not a good idea.
EDIT: just think of the consequences before you do anything =)
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Everyone's situation is different, but one thing is always for certain - you'll always get a different story from the other parent about what's going on in their marriage. Don't hate on your dad too much - obviously he's no saint, but try to at least consider his perspective a bit more thoroughly.
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what does your dad do that makes him so stressed? or is he just like that?
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SHAMELESS BUMP.
It looks like this is going to be happening soon!
My plan right now is to book a round trip in the winter. Suggestions for the cheap deals?
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Yay!
For a while I thought maybe you forgot about this blog!
Dunno about travel deals, I cannot afford such frivolities .
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On July 08 2011 11:57 Elegy wrote:Yay!
For a while I thought maybe you forgot about this blog!Dunno about travel deals, I cannot afford such frivolities .
What a coincidence, hah.
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On July 08 2011 11:57 Amnesia wrote:Show nested quote +On July 08 2011 11:57 Elegy wrote:Yay!
For a while I thought maybe you forgot about this blog!Dunno about travel deals, I cannot afford such frivolities . What a coincidence, hah.
Tripadvisor.com or just send lilsusie a message and ask her what would be the best flights. I found that KoreaAir was pretty cheap. It was like $1200 for a roundtrip, but usually for some weird reason, one ways cost a bit more -_-;
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wow this is awesome, nice job brah
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EPT![[image loading]](http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF106-Billy_the_Bunny.jpg)
