Everyone has a first date horror stories, some even claim to be the "Master of Disaster" when it comes to first dates. They are wrong, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, I am the worst first dater the world has ever seen.
An Example of My Ineptitude:
I got this date with my biology TA, who I've been casually chatting up the past two semesters. She's a little bit older than I am, and way above my paygrade in terms of sexual attractiveness (A recent survey of sexual attractiveness put me somewhere between "public masturbater" and "plague victim"). Needless to say, I got to hit this one out of the park. My plan is to come off as worldly and intellectual, two things which I most certainly am not.
To pull off this grand deception, I bribe the owners of a local Chinese restaurant to interpret Chinese-sounding gibberish as actual Chinese; the date would think I'm actually speaking Chinese, and the illusion would be complete. So, I pay the owners 20 bucks and later that night me and my date walk in, and I dive right into my fake Chinese routine, "Nao poing, Xing-chao" I command authoritatively. My date immediately breaks into the most hysterical laughter you have ever heard. The kick in the pants is that she spent a year studying in Beijing as part of an exchange program, and was fairly well versed in the Chinese language. There wasn't a second date.
Usually, if I reckon that the girl is more outgoing type than me, I just flat out say that I can be a bit shy/awkward on new situations. Helps to break the ice.
hilarious man, I would have just died right there. But dude, if you've been chatting her up for awhile and she accepted a date, surely she was into you to a certain extent. All because you were being yourself right? Just be yourself man.
Holy shit, that would actually be the most embarrassing thing ever. I hope you stayed cool and shrugged it off and had the balls to laugh at yourself for it and still had a good night
Couldn't you have just asked one of the restaurant owners, or any Chinese friend you may have, to teach you how to say something that would make sense? Though the story is certainly funnier this way lol.
lol you should interpret that as a fail on her part, any guy who goes through such an elaborate charade to get a girl is deserving of at least another date, and possibly anal.
instead of paying 20 bucks to get past with fake chinese, I'm sure you could have mastered a phrase or two of real chinese in that time you spent bribing the owner.
On April 30 2010 19:18 XeliN wrote: lol you should interpret that as a fail on her part, any guy who goes through such an elaborate charade to get a girl is deserving of at least another date, and possibly anal.
lol. who cares if she studied in china? just play it off cool as though you were just joking around and it would've been a great ice breaker for the evening.
I don't care if this is true or not I still feel sorry for you. It should be lesson learned though from that. Don't go out of your way to lie to chicks it always back fires. I was picturing the whole scenario play out in my head and it just made me feel awkward.
What lie did u tell her to get her to go out with you in the first place?
On April 30 2010 23:27 DevAzTaYtA wrote: lol. who cares if she studied in china? just play it off cool as though you were just joking around and it would've been a great ice breaker for the evening.
anyone who is capable of that would not be attempting the deception in the first place lol
You were at the border of epic win, if its true that she is out of your league and she was willing to go on a date with you. Until you came up with that plan, it plummeted into epic fail territory. Just be yourself next time, there's no point hiding who you are because they will find out sooner or later. Less is more.
Haha niiiice... I've had my shares of bad first dates too =p One time, My date suggested taking my dad and mom out to see a movie with him us... And my two brothers tagged along as well. My date had to sit between my brothers and they are both pretty big fellas like muscle wise haha I think I also noticed my brother pretending to be gay a couple of times too... Truthfully I think thats funny as hell and If you're willing to try that hard, its worth a second date. haha
Pretty awesome story. You shouldn't have been that insecure though. Major turn off to women. Be confident in yourself if you want a girl . She agreed to the date. That means she saw something she liked in you. A certain something that was blotted out by your massive overcompensation.
EPT
