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Active: 5323 users

Attempt at thinly veiled worst brag blog ever.

Blogs > DivinO
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 01:16:24
April 09 2010 01:15 GMT
#1
All of this isn't true:

Here goes nothing.


So today was basically the most annoying day ever. I wake up to my girlfriend bitching at me on the phone. She's been doing this on and off for about a week now. After that much bitching how could I forget I had to go pick up my fucking Porsche at the dealership today?

After hanging up on her (but not before she promised me a night in bed) I went off to my classes. And it was rainy. Rainy as usual. That's the one thing I really fucking hate about Yale. I get water splashed all over my Armani Exchange Jeans as I run hurriedly to class.

After listening to my professor rant on for four hours about Eigenvectors he pulls me over for 15 fucking minutes to rant about how well I did on my test and how I should consider a work study over the summer. Not once does it occur to him in this period of 15 minutes that I have shit to do.

So I say goodbye to the professor and catch a bus down to the dealership. The stupid redhead can't stop flirting with me. Makes me feel like a zoo animal, or her dinner, or anything else that distracts me from getting the damn car. Eventually after dealing with her I get the car running and drive back down to my place. Of course when I sit down at my computer PokerStars is down. It's such a fucking drag when you win 250 grand the night before and can't even withdraw it because the site is down.

I pop down to the girlfriend's place in the Porsche and before I even get out of the car she wants me to take her for a ride somewhere. Of course the dumb bitch doesn't realize I'm hungry and it's time for dinner. After four hours of class and two hours of some dumb dealership chick eyefucking you you could really use a sandwich. But of course not, she wants to see how the car runs.

After some senseless driving (because gas is totally free) we sit down and she makes dinner. After dinner we watched a movie, and then got into bed.

Someone teach her how to give a blowjob. Seriously.

So I snuck out after she fell asleep, and got home, and here I am typing this shit. Just wanted some sympathy.

Thanks TeamLiquid.

**
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#2
Is this supposed to be funny? It really isn't lol
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
baller
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
527 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#3
don't quit ur day job to become a comedy writer
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#4
[image loading]
Khenra
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Netherlands885 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#5
Well, I for one think this is brilliant.
This signature is ruining eSports.
petzergling
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
538 Posts
April 09 2010 01:20 GMT
#6
what stakes do you play
Mod Edit: Don't bold your entire post
ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
April 09 2010 01:21 GMT
#7
Needs more cowbell.
Jangbi storms!!!
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
April 09 2010 01:22 GMT
#8
I giggled
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
GeMicles
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada307 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#9
yale... nice
i pikachu in the shower
jalstar
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States8198 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#10
this is hilarious
Kwidowmaker
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada978 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#11
I liked it but your title should have been in character. It was obvious enough at the test part
Kk.
NurseArial
Profile Joined March 2010
Belarus109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:26 GMT
#12
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.
da_head
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3350 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#13
u forgot mentioning an sc 2 beta key somewhere. if you don't have one, then all of that is meaningless and you've wasted my time.
When they see MC Probe, all the ladies disrobe.
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#14
Wanted it to be obvious......I guess I killed the point of it by announcing that it was real...

Wasn't so much going for laughs as I was for reactions..but I guess I messed that up real quick.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
HeadhunteR
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Argentina1258 Posts
April 09 2010 01:31 GMT
#15
how can this be a brag blog this seriously needs more cowbell
in The Kong line forever
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
April 09 2010 01:32 GMT
#16
On April 09 2010 10:26 NurseArial wrote:
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.


LOLOL u beat me to it...armani exchange? come on dude
why so 진지해?
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
April 09 2010 01:34 GMT
#17
armani collezioni, yes. armani exchange, not in a million years
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
April 09 2010 01:37 GMT
#18
Remove the disclaimer from the top and 5/5.
so fucking true.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
April 09 2010 01:47 GMT
#19
Lolol.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
deth
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia1757 Posts
April 09 2010 01:51 GMT
#20
Great dry humor, not bad satire right there 5/5
1 2 3 Next All
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