• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 14:33
CEST 20:33
KST 03:33
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Maestros of the Game: Week 1/Play-in Preview5[ASL20] Ro24 Preview Pt2: Take-Off7[ASL20] Ro24 Preview Pt1: Runway132v2 & SC: Evo Complete: Weekend Double Feature4Team Liquid Map Contest #21 - Presented by Monster Energy9
Community News
Weekly Cups (Aug 18-24): herO dethrones MaxPax6Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris40Weekly Cups (Aug 11-17): MaxPax triples again!13Weekly Cups (Aug 4-10): MaxPax wins a triple6SC2's Safe House 2 - October 18 & 195
StarCraft 2
General
2024/25 Off-Season Roster Moves #2: Serral - Greatest Players of All Time #1: Maru - Greatest Players of All Time Maestros of the Game: Week 1/Play-in Preview Greatest Players of All Time: 2025 Update
Tourneys
Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris LiuLi Cup - September 2025 Tournaments $5,100+ SEL Season 2 Championship (SC: Evo) Kirktown Chat Brawl #8 - 4.6K max Tonight LiuLi Cup - August 2025 Tournaments
Strategy
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation # 488 What Goes Around Mutation # 487 Think Fast Mutation # 486 Watch the Skies Mutation # 485 Death from Below
Brood War
General
Post ASL20 Ro24 discussion. BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Easiest luckies way to get out of Asl groups BW General Discussion No Rain in ASL20?
Tourneys
[ASL20] Ro24 Group F [IPSL] CSLAN Review and CSLPRO Reimagined! Small VOD Thread 2.0 Cosmonarchy Pro Showmatches
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Muta micro map competition Fighting Spirit mining rates [G] Mineral Boosting
Other Games
General Games
General RTS Discussion Thread Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne Path of Exile Mechabellum Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread YouTube Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
INnoVation Fan Club SKT1 Classic Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread High temperatures on bridge(s) Gtx660 graphics card replacement
TL Community
The Automated Ban List TeamLiquid Team Shirt On Sale
Blogs
hello world
radishsoup
Lemme tell you a thing o…
JoinTheRain
How Culture and Conflict Imp…
TrAiDoS
RTS Design in Hypercoven
a11
Evil Gacha Games and the…
ffswowsucks
INDEPENDIENTE LA CTM
XenOsky
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2576 users

Attempt at thinly veiled worst brag blog ever.

Blogs > DivinO
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 01:16:24
April 09 2010 01:15 GMT
#1
All of this isn't true:

Here goes nothing.


So today was basically the most annoying day ever. I wake up to my girlfriend bitching at me on the phone. She's been doing this on and off for about a week now. After that much bitching how could I forget I had to go pick up my fucking Porsche at the dealership today?

After hanging up on her (but not before she promised me a night in bed) I went off to my classes. And it was rainy. Rainy as usual. That's the one thing I really fucking hate about Yale. I get water splashed all over my Armani Exchange Jeans as I run hurriedly to class.

After listening to my professor rant on for four hours about Eigenvectors he pulls me over for 15 fucking minutes to rant about how well I did on my test and how I should consider a work study over the summer. Not once does it occur to him in this period of 15 minutes that I have shit to do.

So I say goodbye to the professor and catch a bus down to the dealership. The stupid redhead can't stop flirting with me. Makes me feel like a zoo animal, or her dinner, or anything else that distracts me from getting the damn car. Eventually after dealing with her I get the car running and drive back down to my place. Of course when I sit down at my computer PokerStars is down. It's such a fucking drag when you win 250 grand the night before and can't even withdraw it because the site is down.

I pop down to the girlfriend's place in the Porsche and before I even get out of the car she wants me to take her for a ride somewhere. Of course the dumb bitch doesn't realize I'm hungry and it's time for dinner. After four hours of class and two hours of some dumb dealership chick eyefucking you you could really use a sandwich. But of course not, she wants to see how the car runs.

After some senseless driving (because gas is totally free) we sit down and she makes dinner. After dinner we watched a movie, and then got into bed.

Someone teach her how to give a blowjob. Seriously.

So I snuck out after she fell asleep, and got home, and here I am typing this shit. Just wanted some sympathy.

Thanks TeamLiquid.

**
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#2
Is this supposed to be funny? It really isn't lol
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
baller
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
527 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#3
don't quit ur day job to become a comedy writer
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#4
[image loading]
Khenra
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Netherlands885 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#5
Well, I for one think this is brilliant.
This signature is ruining eSports.
petzergling
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
538 Posts
April 09 2010 01:20 GMT
#6
what stakes do you play
Mod Edit: Don't bold your entire post
ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
April 09 2010 01:21 GMT
#7
Needs more cowbell.
Jangbi storms!!!
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
April 09 2010 01:22 GMT
#8
I giggled
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
GeMicles
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada307 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#9
yale... nice
i pikachu in the shower
jalstar
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States8198 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#10
this is hilarious
Kwidowmaker
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada978 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#11
I liked it but your title should have been in character. It was obvious enough at the test part
Kk.
NurseArial
Profile Joined March 2010
Belarus109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:26 GMT
#12
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.
da_head
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3350 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#13
u forgot mentioning an sc 2 beta key somewhere. if you don't have one, then all of that is meaningless and you've wasted my time.
When they see MC Probe, all the ladies disrobe.
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#14
Wanted it to be obvious......I guess I killed the point of it by announcing that it was real...

Wasn't so much going for laughs as I was for reactions..but I guess I messed that up real quick.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
HeadhunteR
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Argentina1258 Posts
April 09 2010 01:31 GMT
#15
how can this be a brag blog this seriously needs more cowbell
in The Kong line forever
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
April 09 2010 01:32 GMT
#16
On April 09 2010 10:26 NurseArial wrote:
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.


LOLOL u beat me to it...armani exchange? come on dude
why so 진지해?
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
April 09 2010 01:34 GMT
#17
armani collezioni, yes. armani exchange, not in a million years
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18918 Posts
April 09 2010 01:37 GMT
#18
Remove the disclaimer from the top and 5/5.
so fucking true.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
April 09 2010 01:47 GMT
#19
Lolol.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
deth
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia1757 Posts
April 09 2010 01:51 GMT
#20
Great dry humor, not bad satire right there 5/5
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Maestros of the Game
16:00
Round of 24 Preliminary Stage
Astrea vs LamboLIVE!
Bunny vs SKillous
HeRoMaRinE vs TriGGeR
ComeBackTV 1347
CranKy Ducklings480
IndyStarCraft 287
CosmosSc2 65
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
mouzHeroMarine 571
IndyStarCraft 287
BRAT_OK 84
JuggernautJason72
CosmosSc2 65
ProTech50
Livibee 49
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 28042
firebathero 434
Barracks 365
sSak 273
Aegong 122
Dewaltoss 114
Mong 75
yabsab 22
Stormgate
BeoMulf105
Dota 2
Gorgc7154
qojqva3325
Fuzer 334
Counter-Strike
fl0m3926
gobbtv827
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King71
Other Games
FrodaN1385
Grubby1181
B2W.Neo1126
Sick265
Hui .247
mouzStarbuck116
MindelVK22
ViBE4
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1154
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• Azhi_Dahaki25
• Pr0nogo 15
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• Ler82
Counter-Strike
• imaqtpie686
• Shiphtur212
Upcoming Events
BSL Team Wars
27m
Team Bonyth vs Team Sziky
BSL Team Wars
27m
Team Dewalt vs Team Sziky
Afreeca Starleague
15h 27m
Soulkey vs BeSt
Snow vs Light
Monday Night Weeklies
21h 27m
Replay Cast
1d 5h
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 15h
PiGosaur Monday
2 days
LiuLi Cup
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
The PondCast
3 days
[ Show More ]
RSL Revival
3 days
Maru vs SHIN
MaNa vs MaxPax
RSL Revival
4 days
Reynor vs Astrea
Classic vs sOs
BSL Team Wars
5 days
Team Bonyth vs Team Dewalt
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
RSL Revival
5 days
GuMiho vs Cham
ByuN vs TriGGeR
Cosmonarchy
5 days
TriGGeR vs YoungYakov
YoungYakov vs HonMonO
HonMonO vs TriGGeR
[BSL 2025] Weekly
5 days
RSL Revival
6 days
Cure vs Bunny
Creator vs Zoun
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #4 - TS1
WardiTV Summer 2025
HCC Europe

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
BSL 20 Team Wars
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 3
BSL 21 Qualifiers
ASL Season 20
CSL Season 18: Qualifier 2
Maestros of the Game
Sisters' Call Cup
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025

Upcoming

CSL 2025 AUTUMN (S18)
LASL Season 20
2025 Chongqing Offline CUP
BSL Season 21
BSL 21 Team A
Chzzk MurlocKing SC1 vs SC2 Cup #2
EC S1
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
Skyesports Masters 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
MESA Nomadic Masters Fall
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.