• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 04:00
CET 10:00
KST 18:00
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12Intel X Team Liquid Seoul event: Showmatches and Meet the Pros10
Community News
[BSL21] Ro.16 Group Stage (C->B->A->D)1Weekly Cups (Nov 17-23): Solar, MaxPax, Clem win2RSL Season 3: RO16 results & RO8 bracket13Weekly Cups (Nov 10-16): Reynor, Solar lead Zerg surge2[TLMC] Fall/Winter 2025 Ladder Map Rotation14
StarCraft 2
General
Weekly Cups (Nov 17-23): Solar, MaxPax, Clem win SC: Evo Complete - Ranked Ladder OPEN ALPHA Weekly Cups (Nov 10-16): Reynor, Solar lead Zerg surge RSL Season 3: RO16 results & RO8 bracket RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview
Tourneys
RSL Revival: Season 3 $5,000+ WardiTV 2025 Championship StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly) Constellation Cup - Main Event - Stellar Fest 2025 RSL Offline Finals Dates + Ticket Sales!
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 501 Price of Progress Mutation # 500 Fright night Mutation # 499 Chilling Adaptation Mutation # 498 Wheel of Misfortune|Cradle of Death
Brood War
General
Data analysis on 70 million replays 2v2 maps which are SC2 style with teams together? [BSL21] Ro.16 Group Stage (C->B->A->D) soO on: FanTaSy's Potential Return to StarCraft What happened to TvZ on Retro?
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL21] RO16 Tie Breaker - Group B - Sun 21:00 CET [BSL21] RO16 Tie Breaker - Group A - Sat 21:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
Game Theory for Starcraft How to stay on top of macro? Current Meta PvZ map balance
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Should offensive tower rushing be viable in RTS games? Nintendo Switch Thread Clair Obscur - Expedition 33 Path of Exile
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread YouTube Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion NBA General Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023 TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
The Health Impact of Joining…
TrAiDoS
Dyadica Evangelium — Chapt…
Hildegard
Saturation point
Uldridge
DnB/metal remix FFO Mick Go…
ImbaTosS
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2048 users

Attempt at thinly veiled worst brag blog ever.

Blogs > DivinO
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 01:16:24
April 09 2010 01:15 GMT
#1
All of this isn't true:

Here goes nothing.


So today was basically the most annoying day ever. I wake up to my girlfriend bitching at me on the phone. She's been doing this on and off for about a week now. After that much bitching how could I forget I had to go pick up my fucking Porsche at the dealership today?

After hanging up on her (but not before she promised me a night in bed) I went off to my classes. And it was rainy. Rainy as usual. That's the one thing I really fucking hate about Yale. I get water splashed all over my Armani Exchange Jeans as I run hurriedly to class.

After listening to my professor rant on for four hours about Eigenvectors he pulls me over for 15 fucking minutes to rant about how well I did on my test and how I should consider a work study over the summer. Not once does it occur to him in this period of 15 minutes that I have shit to do.

So I say goodbye to the professor and catch a bus down to the dealership. The stupid redhead can't stop flirting with me. Makes me feel like a zoo animal, or her dinner, or anything else that distracts me from getting the damn car. Eventually after dealing with her I get the car running and drive back down to my place. Of course when I sit down at my computer PokerStars is down. It's such a fucking drag when you win 250 grand the night before and can't even withdraw it because the site is down.

I pop down to the girlfriend's place in the Porsche and before I even get out of the car she wants me to take her for a ride somewhere. Of course the dumb bitch doesn't realize I'm hungry and it's time for dinner. After four hours of class and two hours of some dumb dealership chick eyefucking you you could really use a sandwich. But of course not, she wants to see how the car runs.

After some senseless driving (because gas is totally free) we sit down and she makes dinner. After dinner we watched a movie, and then got into bed.

Someone teach her how to give a blowjob. Seriously.

So I snuck out after she fell asleep, and got home, and here I am typing this shit. Just wanted some sympathy.

Thanks TeamLiquid.

**
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#2
Is this supposed to be funny? It really isn't lol
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
baller
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
527 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#3
don't quit ur day job to become a comedy writer
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#4
[image loading]
Khenra
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Netherlands885 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#5
Well, I for one think this is brilliant.
This signature is ruining eSports.
petzergling
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
538 Posts
April 09 2010 01:20 GMT
#6
what stakes do you play
Mod Edit: Don't bold your entire post
ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
April 09 2010 01:21 GMT
#7
Needs more cowbell.
Jangbi storms!!!
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
April 09 2010 01:22 GMT
#8
I giggled
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
GeMicles
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada307 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#9
yale... nice
i pikachu in the shower
jalstar
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States8198 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#10
this is hilarious
Kwidowmaker
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada978 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#11
I liked it but your title should have been in character. It was obvious enough at the test part
Kk.
NurseArial
Profile Joined March 2010
Belarus109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:26 GMT
#12
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.
da_head
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3350 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#13
u forgot mentioning an sc 2 beta key somewhere. if you don't have one, then all of that is meaningless and you've wasted my time.
When they see MC Probe, all the ladies disrobe.
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#14
Wanted it to be obvious......I guess I killed the point of it by announcing that it was real...

Wasn't so much going for laughs as I was for reactions..but I guess I messed that up real quick.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
HeadhunteR
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Argentina1258 Posts
April 09 2010 01:31 GMT
#15
how can this be a brag blog this seriously needs more cowbell
in The Kong line forever
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
April 09 2010 01:32 GMT
#16
On April 09 2010 10:26 NurseArial wrote:
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.


LOLOL u beat me to it...armani exchange? come on dude
why so 진지해?
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
April 09 2010 01:34 GMT
#17
armani collezioni, yes. armani exchange, not in a million years
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
April 09 2010 01:37 GMT
#18
Remove the disclaimer from the top and 5/5.
so fucking true.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
April 09 2010 01:47 GMT
#19
Lolol.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
deth
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia1757 Posts
April 09 2010 01:51 GMT
#20
Great dry humor, not bad satire right there 5/5
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 3h
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
SortOf 168
trigger 27
StarCraft: Brood War
Calm 3492
Larva 384
PianO 240
Killer 137
Sacsri 54
soO 40
ToSsGirL 39
sorry 26
Hm[arnc] 8
Bale 7
[ Show more ]
BeSt 0
Dota 2
monkeys_forever246
League of Legends
JimRising 567
Trikslyr25
Counter-Strike
shoxiejesuss450
Other Games
summit1g9390
ceh9580
Happy318
C9.Mang0260
Mew2King137
NeuroSwarm68
QueenE19
Dewaltoss17
NotJumperer13
ZerO(Twitch)1
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick716
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream345
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH200
• LUISG 15
• Adnapsc2 9
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 5
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Stunt612
• HappyZerGling157
Upcoming Events
Wardi Open
3h
PiGosaur Cup
16h
Replay Cast
1d
Wardi Open
1d 3h
OSC
1d 4h
Tenacious Turtle Tussle
1d 15h
The PondCast
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
OSC
3 days
LAN Event
3 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
WardiTV Korean Royale
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
WardiTV Korean Royale
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Wardi Open
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

SOOP Univ League 2025
RSL Revival: Season 3
Eternal Conflict S1

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 4
YSL S2
BSL Season 21
CSCL: Masked Kings S3
SLON Tour Season 2
META Madness #9
SL Budapest Major 2025
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2

Upcoming

BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXVIII
RSL Offline Finals
WardiTV 2025
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026: Closed Qualifier
eXTREMESLAND 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.